A few days ago, I was walking down to Ant's when a man stopped me on the street. He looked at me and said "Hey, buddy, did you know? I bricklayer's job is never done."
Well much to my surprise that wasn't the first time I'd had that said to me. I remembered back when I was in England, someone told me "A bricklayers job is never done." When I said "What?" he pushed me down to the ground, calling me a "N[COLOR="White"]i[/COLOR]gger Jew."
"But sir," I said as I got up, "I'm neither of the jewish faith nor african in ethnicity."
"Shut up you n[COLOR="White"]i[/COLOR]gger faggot jew! Why don't you go build me a pink cotton pyramid?" He yelled at me again.
I then looked at what he had in one hand. It was a book. Looking closer, I saw that it was a special edition of the bible, the Korahn, the Torah, and the Necronomicon all wrapped into one healthy edition. I stood up astute.
I was about to respond with "Sir, I know now that your insults are based on religious predjudice that is formed upon the fear of what you do not understand. I tell you now, however, that I am none of what you have labeled me as. Furthermore, I believe you should attempt to curb your unyeilding hate and try to find a more peacful life."
But it was shortly before I opened my mouth that I discovered I had uncontrollable laser eyes, and that was the end of him.
I picked up the canonical text and flipped through the pages, and remembered my times with Jesus. I remembered him up there, built like a rock. I mean, really, that guy was ripped. And he took the nails on the cross like a man. And then they put him in the Dome of Rock, and a few days later, he realized "Wait...wtf? I'm Jesus! I can do what I want." He then ripped himself off the cross, burst out of the building, and then destroyed it. He marched powerfully along, displaying his massive muscles, and saw this emo kid. The kid was saying about how horrible his life was. Jesus just showed him the holes in his hands and feet and told the kid to shut up. He then walked up to me and pointed at the ruined Dome. "See that? A bricklayers job is never done." He then rose to heaven, extending his lower jaw and narrowing his eyes, and I got hungry again.
Actually, I only really remember the last time I got the hungers. It was a psychiatrist. I broke into her apartment one night when she was trying to go to sleep, and before I know it she's on the floor naked and I'm looming over her, eating on one of her kidneys like a kid with a cookie. And then she ruins it all by saying "I'm sensing some agression here." So I grabbed her face and---wait...I dont' need to tell you this.
Anyways, once I finished, I heard the cops outside. It wasn't a big deal---I always saved the skulls, so I just barracaded the door and kicked back on the couch. I turned on the Disney Channel and watched some old cartoons. Goofy was on the screen and said to Mickey "Hey, Mickey, did you know a bricklayers job is never done?"
Mickey turned around and said "What was that Goof?"
"I said we don't beat children enough nowdays!" He proclaimed as he took off his belt. He then walked over to a child, saying "It's goofy time..."
Well I was thinking about this when the cops started banging on the door. Maybe it really was Goofy time.
From what I heard next morning on the news, the first 4 officers who came in got killed by the swining log trap I set up with Goofy's face carved into the front. The rest were just injured. I decided it'd be best to go to work, but on my way, someone stopped me on the street and said "Hey, guess what."
"A bricklayer's job is never done, right?" I said.
"No, I was going to tell you that extra calcium in your diet is always a good thing."
"But then my skin would get all hard and I wouldn't be able to move!" I protested.
"No, that's Carbon."
"Oh...well then I should probably stop eating these rocks," I said, motioning to the sack in my hand. "Thanks mister."
"Hey no problem. Here's a fresh jar of milk."
I drank the milk, only to find out it was poisoned. As I doubled over in pain on the floor, he said to me "Oh, by the way, a bricklayer's job is never done."
As I was passed out on the floor, I thought in my dreams about what that meant. Then it suddenly came to me. The bricks were our reality. Our society. Our entire foundations were built upon the destruction of the world and its recreation. Bricklayers weren't just a necessary profession, they were an honorary! The musicians, the scientists, the great leaders, they were all bricklayers, putting down the foundations of our society and species as a whole. So it was true...a bricklayers job really wasn't ever finished.
When I woke up I went to work and had a pretty slow day. I dropped a brick on my foot, ironically.
I snapped back to reality to the man stopping me on the street. He had yellow glowing eyes. Must be a werewolf, just trying to help me out. "Hey, thanks," I said to the werewolf. He nodded. I felt like a whole new man. I had a new lease on life, a whole new revelation!
Then those uncontrollable laser eyes kicked in again, and that was pretty much the end of that werewolf.
~This Socio-Politico Comedia brought to you by The Judge~
~In loving memory of Leaf Erikson. Rest in Peace, old friend~
I read the first line, looked at how long it was, then skipped down to:
"Then those uncontrollable laser eyes kicked in again, and that was pretty much the end of that werewolf."
All I can say is "wtf".
I suggest reading it all.
I put the time into writing it and thinking it up, the least you could do is put a 10th of that time into reading it. ;)
Later. Too lazy.
You might gain some insight about your own life or some revelatory bullsh[COLOR="White"]i[/COLOR]t.
Ha, I enjoyed one of your gay stories for once. For it involved the both "it's goofy time" and the buff jesus.
Although some caveman face would have done well, too.
WHAT THE ****
Man, you're so similar to Jarm it's scary.
[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v329/penguinbob/owlwhatisthis.jpg[/IMG]
Thats right, I'll use your own owls against you.
Judge... i though this was going to be about me :(
I was going to end the thread with "I loving memory of ExoXile, rest in peace old friend" but then the thread might have been curbed towards asking if you were really dead.
Bricklayers don't die ;)
Especially not when the bricklayer has one of them Ravens :o
You're not a true bricklayer until your knees give out.
I eagerly await the day.
was the emo kid Thomas?
Thomas Pane.
You are not a true bricklayer until you murder someone named Fortunado.
I have murdered many a Fortunado in my time.
poe get
Never bet the devil your head was better
I bet him that I was a better Fiddle Player.
And d[COLOR="Plum"][COLOR="White"]a[/COLOR][/COLOR]mmit, I am.
Whenever I listen to that song, I think that the Devil's fiddle playing sounds better.
Is there something wrong with me? :(
No, I liked it too.
If you couldn't tell, the story is mostly fictional.
Today bricklayers ARE fiction.
...this is the gayest thread ever.
Your mom's the gayest thread ever.
gb2/georgia
That was awesome because I had no idea what was going on. It was playing through my head like a really trippy movie. I liked it though, feel free to post more stories like it. I'll read 'em, they keep me awake to a decent hour.
So... you didn't drop a brick on your foot, then. ....OK.
Wow. Rock.