List off some really idiotic things you've heard people say. I remember when Zarg made this thread a while before he disappeared, and I totally decided to remake it.
"The second half was really weird and boring." - Someone commenting on Death of a Salesman.
"Why couldn't we have gone to see something cool, like Grease or Mamma Mia?" - Another Death of a Salesman-related comment
"[something about silvertide and velvet revolver]"
"Can you get pregnant from oral or anal sex?"
"Dogs can't make cheese!"
"[COLOR=#f0f8ff]I'd rather use the shell [than the Revolution controller] for fpses"[/COLOR]
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"Clinton is the current Vice President."
"Who's Camp David?"
"If you stand on the south pole, doesn't the blood rush to your head?"(by some idiot in my 11th grade physics class)
"It's kind of like a thing"(same idiot in 10th grade english class when attempting to define a word)
"The cotton gin was used to capture slaves"(written on a test by someone else in 8th grade)
person1: "he's been dead for a while"
person2: "he's gay? what?"
person3: "what? who's gay?"
person4: "what? no school tomorrow?"
"You know thingy, who was married to whatserface? Well they did that thing, and ended up in the whatsit!"
"They're exactly the same, only different"
-too many people to reference
Well hell.. I'm sure I could quote myself a bunch of times and it'd be more stupid then all of those :-P
"Karyn is a West Texas girl, just like me"
"Ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan airport"
"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully"
"...to work towards a peeance freeance secure Iraq"
"Thank you for reminding me about the responsibilities of being a mom and volunteer"
"The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case"
"I'd be honoured to shake the hand of an Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein"
"People keep talking about social security like it's a kind of federal program"
"A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier"
"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family"
"Poor people aren't necessarily killers"
All said by George W. Bush. Scary, isn't it?
Alternatively, just go [url=http://www.slate.com/id/76886/]here[/url].
Well, if we're going to go with Bush quotes...
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
"I think war is a dangerous place."
"The future will be better tomorrow."
"Welcome to Mrs Bush, and my fellow astronauts."
"The trouble with the French is that they don't have a word for entrepreneur."
"I stand by all the misstatements that I have made."
LOOK BOB. A THREE LEAF CLOVER. HOLY CRAP, THERE'S A WHOLE PATCH HERE. Oh wait.
-Me :o
Announcer: Would you say your husband is a rural or urban person?
Woman: Uh...I don't know what they mean...
Announcer: Well, your husband told us he was Suburban. What do you think he could do about this?
Woman: Well he went to a doctor last week.
Woman being interviewed on CNN:
"Whoa, I'm so glad they've caught this Susama Bin Hussein guy!"
History Teacher in 10th grade: So what are we going to Afgahnistan for again class?
Student sitting next to me: To kill Hitler?
Teacher: Please leave class for a little bit. I'll talk to you after class.
History teacher, in 11th grade:
"We need to catch osama bin Laden. He's the leader of the Taliban, so catching him will end this conflict"
Also, in that same class:
Teacher: And what was the name of the book that Hitler wrote in jail?
Student sitting next to me: Mein Kampf
Teacher: Right, and what does "Mein Kampf" mean in English?
Student pauses, and I whipser "My struggle" to him.
Student then proudly excaims: My Strudel!
In junior high, someone was struggling with an answer in Washington State history (we were talking about raccoon skinning or some stupid ****) and I jokingly whisper some sort of mexican food, I think it might have been tostada, and he shouted it without thinking.
Senior year CWI class: "I think that Osama Bin Laden is hiding in a 7-11, since all those arabians or whatever look the same."
"Man, it'd be so much easier to find words in the dictionary if they put not just the words under a certain letter, but the whole dictionary in alphabetic order."
Me. I honestly thought this for a moment.
To quote the president, "Fool me once, shame on ... (long pause) shame on you. Fool me ... (long pause) can't get fooled again."
I think he meant to say "Fool me once; shame on you. Fool me twice; shame on me." I like his rendition better though.
[quote=Some kid in my school]Woah, he's mute? So does that mean that I can, like, give him the bird and he wouldn't know?
Once again, so sad.
"What I dont understand is how golf because unnerdy of a thing to do... but it did not sure but wow." A member on another forum...
Random guy: Uma Thurman has a niiiiiice ass.
Me: So do I, but that doesn't make me want to dress up in a yellow catsuit and buy a katana.
So, we were making letterheads in my Sophomore English class and randomly one of the kids asks the teacher something to the exent of "Hey, there's a website that you can go to and like make letterheads, do you know the URL?"
"640K ought to be enough for anybody."
-- Bill Gates, 1981.
"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."
--Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949.
"But what ... is it good for?"
--Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.
"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
--Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977.
"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us."
--Western Union internal memo, 1876.
"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?"
--David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s.
"Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?"
--H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927.
Classmate: That Samus dude is pretty awesome. He's the best in Super Smash Brothers Melee.
Me: Samus is a woman.
Classmate: Aw, for real? ****, I'm never using her again.
I was talking to this guy about my grandmother getting uterine cancer...
"Yeah, my grandmother is going to have surgery to get it removed."
"Removed? Uhh, don't you need that?"
"I don't think she'll be having babies anytime soon."
"... But what if she has to go to the bathroom?"
"The patient has no past history of suicides."
Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"
The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.
Lawyer: "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"
"What are folk?"
Dumb ***** in my mythology class, I'm going to make fun of her for being adopted if she ever says anything so stupid again.
u can get pregnant from anal sex
Well, you see, that is possible, but only through fluke - it's not as if the rectum has a womb.
"Ew, narcolepsy! Isn't that when you like dead people?"
Heard some girl say it on the way out of my RS class.
[quote=Linko_16][COLOR=indigo]You can't give guys too hard a time if they don't know much about female organs. That was me for quite a bit... it's not like anyone bothers to teach us that kind of stuff.[/COLOR]
I don't know about your school, but my school district and his school district definitely taught both sides to both genders.
While shopping for rice... "New Orleans Style Rice - Just Add Water"
"You can't say how dumb I am! I'm the only one that can say how dumb I am!"
Heh heh...
jesus maian, what the **** is wrong with you
alll this makes me think... makes me think u r iggers.