I only have Yahoo! Messenger to talk to Dan and Zerostar, but when I wanted to chat, they were both away. Very bored, I struck up a deep and meaningful conversation with the default member on my friendlist, YahooHelper. Let's go to the tape...
linko_sixteen: YARG
YahooHelper: Hi linko_sixteen, I am an automated robot and I'm here to help you get familar with Yahoo! Messenger. Type some text in the window below and click 'SEND' to talk to me.
linko_sixteen: I WILL DESTROY YOU WITH MY PLASMA CANON!!
YahooHelper: Great, now we're talking! linko_sixteen, did you know that Yahoo! Messenger allows you to keep track of all your friends and see when they are online? If your friend does not have messenger yet, click on the 'FRIENDS' button and select Invite a friend to get Messenger. If your friend already has a Yahoo! ID, just click the 'ADD' button and you will see a smiley face next to their name when they are online. Type below and click 'SEND' to continue.
linko_sixteen: YOUR WORDS CONFUSE AND INFURIATE ME!!
YahooHelper: Once your friends have Yahoo! Messenger running, there are a lot of things you can do with them. Try sending them an Instant Message. Just double-click their name to send them an Instant Message. It's faster than email and cheaper than a phone call! We're Instant Messaging each other right now! Keep talking and I'll tell you more.
linko_sixteen: DOUBLE CLICKING IS FOR WEAKLINGS!!
YahooHelper: If you want to talk to several people at once, you can create your own Instant Chat Room. Just click on the 'MESSENGER' menu item and the select Start a Conference. To have an even richer experience, try talking live with your friends using Messenger. It's just like a phone call except free! All you need is a computer microphone and speakers. Try clicking on the 'MESSENGER' menu item and then select Start a Voice Chat. Keep talking and I'll tell you more.
linko_sixteen: TAKE YOUR CHAT ROOM AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR SPHINCTER!!
YahooHelper: Hi there linko_sixteen! I'm a bot here to help you. To get help on a topic send a message of the form "/help topic" (e.g., /help friend)
Where topic is one of the following -
friend add group online message profile status alerts
linko_sixteen: I WILL CHOOSE THE TOPIC OF DESTRUCTION AND TORTURE!!
YahooHelper: Waiting for your friends to sign up? Use Yahoo! Messenger to see if you have new Yahoo! Mail. Get an account at: http://mail.yahoo.com. You can also use Messenger to keep track of your favorite stocks, news and more! Click on the tabs near the bottom of the Messenger application to see what else Messenger can do for you. You know what to do to keep talking...
linko_sixteen: I HAVE NO FRIENDS!! I HAVE DESTROYED THEM ALL!!
YahooHelper: We have more help for you if you need it. Click on the 'HELP' menu item and then 'YAHOO! MESSENGER HELP' to see our full help area. To get more tips, type /help while you are talking with me and we have some basic online instructions for you.
linko_sixteen: YOU CAN HELP ME BY SUCCUMBING TO MY AWESOME POWER!!
YahooHelper: To get help on a topic send a message of the form "/help topic" (e.g., /help friend)
Where topic is one of the following -
friend add group online message profile status alerts
linko_sixteen: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
YahooHelper: Well linko_sixteen, it was great talking to you! Have fun!
linko_sixteen: DON'T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME!! I WILL DESTROY YOU!!
YahooHelper: Hi linko_sixteen, I am an automated robot and I'm here to help you get familar with Yahoo! Messenger. Type some text in the window below and click 'SEND' to talk to me.
linko_sixteen: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
YahooHelper: Great, now we're talking! linko_sixteen, did you know that...
Discuss.
Lame. Absolutely lame.
End discussion.
SmarterChild is better.
Granted, but SmarterChild is pretty played out.
Quoting Trigger: Lame. Absolutely lame.
End discussion.
Stfu with your hobbies... and your life. :mad:
I guess I sould've clarified that this is more to make fun of me than to be particularly witty. I just looked back on wtf I'd been doing.
It worked, didn't it? Everyone who replied made fun of me.
Yahoo Helper is almost as dumb as Eliza. Almost.
YahooHelper isn't a great bot to chat with, mainly because all it does is help. Every single time. Always.