Poison's attempt on love...scoring!




Posted by Poison

In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.

Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, but that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES[LIST]
[*]You clean up and arrange the bed (+1)
[*]You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
[*]You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
[*]You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)
[*]... In the snow (+8)
[*]... But return with beer (-5)
[*]You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
[*]... But it's nothing (0)
[*]... But it's something (+5)
[*]...... And you pummel it with a 6-iron (+10)
[*]......... But it's her pet (-20)
[/LIST]SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS[LIST]
[*]You stay by her side the entire party (0)
[*]You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
[*]... Named Tiffany (-4)
[*]...... Tiffany is a dancer (-6)
[*]......... Tiffany has perfect curves (-80)
[/LIST]A NIGHT OUT[LIST]
[*]You take her to a movie (+2)
[*]... And she likes this movie (+4)
[*]...... But you hate it (+6)
[*]... And it's called Deathcop 3 (-3)
[*]...... But you lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)
[/LIST]YOUR PHYSIQUE[LIST]
[*]You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
[*]... And you exercise to get rid of it (+10)
[*]... And resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
[*]... And you mention, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)
[/LIST]THE BIG QUESTION[LIST]
[*]She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you lose points no matter what]
[*]... And you hesitate in responding (-10)
[*]... To which you reply, "Where?" (-35)
[*]... Any other response (-20)
[/LIST]COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem:[LIST]
[*]You listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
[*]... For over 30 minutes (+50)
[*]...... Without looking at the TV (+500)
[*]......... But she realizes this is because you've fallen asleep (-1000)[/list]




Posted by Vampnagel P. Wingpire

oh, I thought you got it on with someone.

Should we keep bulb's score? ;)




Posted by Ant

Everything is lose lose when it comes to women! :D :D :D :D :D :D




Posted by Klarth

this was in a book i got for christmas three years ago.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

- Give good oral sex (+Infinite)

That's all you need to know.




Posted by 007 ninja

so what site did you copy this from again?




Posted by Dark Bulb 4.3

an evangelion website




Posted by Poison

[email]YourMother@YouMother.Com[/email]




Posted by Vampnagel P. Wingpire

So mommy told you this, amirite?




Posted by Stalolin

[quote=Dark Bulb 4.3]an evangelion website

welcome to nerv:

we tell you how to score points with the women

and how to create the third impact




Posted by Stalolin

okay, I have to come out and say it.

That last post sucked.

disregard failure plz




Posted by Vampnagel P. Wingpire

that's ok, Misa'a here to save the day!

Somehow!




Posted by 007 ninja


Quoting Stalolin: welcome to nerv:

we tell you how to score points with the women

and how to create the third impact


yes but how do you create the fourth impact and why oh why am i talking about this



Posted by Stalolin

first impact was creation

second impact was discovery of adam/god

third impact was when everyone changed back into primordial ooze stuff and shinji was like no that's not cool and wished for everything to eventually return to how it was or something

not confident on my answer for third impact, someone go review EoE more

oh, there is no fourth impact stfu




Posted by Vampnagel P. Wingpire

i'll impact you




Posted by Stalolin

[quote=Angelwing]i'll impact you

like with a tumor right




Posted by Dark Bulb 4.3

i lolled




Posted by Vampnagel P. Wingpire


Quoting Stalolin: like with a tumor right


well, if you really want a tumor. I was leaning more towards with my excessively large wang, though.



Posted by Poison

HEY! I want to be inpacted too :(




Posted by Klarth

You're a living tumour. Huuuuush.




Posted by Stalolin

Is that a gun in your pocket or did you develop a tumor?