ShadeXH: I just put my dog in the microwave.
ShadeXH: It splattered all over my penis.
ShadeXH: I like to hear her cry.
sWiSh 0 MaTiC: ......
ShadeXH: And the sound her blood boiling in my tummy.
ShadeXH: It tasted like copper and death and rice.
sWiSh 0 MaTiC: what the hell are you talking about?!?!?
ShadeXH: Oh, I'm sorry, I meant your dog.
sWiSh 0 MaTiC: I don't have a dog
ShadeXH: Not anymore, you don't.
sWiSh 0 MaTic: What the...oh no! Why ***, why!?!?!?
ShadeXH: I've got news for you.
ShadeXH: I am ***.
ShadeXH: And I'll microwave how many dogs I want to.
sWiSh 0 MaTiC: I must put a stop to this! (puts on Superman Cape)
ShadeXH: Quiet, you! *Smites*
sWiSh 0 MaTiC: Ow...my pride...
ShadeXH: pwn
sWiSh 0 MaTiC: So...when are you gonna get around to getting me a new dog?
ShadeXH: Why would I do that?
sWiSh 0 MaTiC: Because you microwaved my old one!!!
ShadeXH: Actually, it turns out it wasn't your dog.
sWiSh 0 MaTiC: Yay! :)
ShadeXH: But I did microwave you cat a couple years ago.
sWiSh 0 MaTiC: So that's where Fluffy disappeared to!
ShadeXH: Yep.
sWiSh 0 MaTiC: **** you...
ShadeXH: Check and mate.
Well this sucks...
EDIT:
I mean... I'm not Swish 0 Matic... noooooo!!!