Here we go. I will post the first two chapters together, and then edit my post to gradually add the chapters. by the way raptor and corrupt you're both in it and i don't care what you say ok here we go.
Chapters 1 & 2 - Let me just say right here that these aren't really supposed to be the funny ones. I'm just trying to set up the story for the real humor and plot to come. OK GO
TWO MEN PLUS NINJA
Foreword
Ninjas were never the "flava" of the month in the old times. In fact, in some countries, mainly Japan, ninjas were bad people to be. Now, in modern day times, many people look back, ignoring the sucky Samurai and some even resisting the sweet allure of pirates, they say, "Wow, if I was a ninja, I could fucking kill that kid at school!" Yes Poco, yes you can.
With this book being written in modern times, there is a great fancy toward ninjas. Unfortunately, only Americans and British people can become ninjas. Sadly, because Americans are fat and British people have large teeth, there is a large demand for ninjas. And you liberals don't reccomend Mexican ninjas. They'll just give people lip and say "please" a lot. And no, Australians don't count. Fuck them in the ear.
CHAPTER ONE: James and MI6 (and some Mad Max movies, you know, the one that south park always references, yeah, remember)
wait actually isn't road warrior a mad max movie if not they reference road warrior and not mad max i don't know
James (ninja) was one the best agents Britian's MI6 had ever seen. And he had seen it all. He had fought pirates, a mysterious school shooting where some kid fucking killed a kid at school, and had just returned from foiling another plot to destroy the world. This time, he killed the guy with a coathanger. How many guys can kill people with coathangers? That's right. Only ninjas. And James was one of them. Seriously, I mean this guy was like twenty Keanu Reeveses put together. Give or take three Mad Max movies That's a lot of awesomeness.
Walking through the double doors to Miss Honeypenny's room, he noticed a slightly masculine man dressed in lingerie (Majesty) sitting where the real Honeypenny would sit. "Oh, hi, Honeyhenny," said James. "Excuse me Honeypenny," James began, "Who the fuc are you trying to fool?" He quickly shot the fake Honeypenny, who released the most faggoty scream ever known to men. Bitch. Teaches you. (especially to delete a certain ninja's threads bitch) He went over to an unlocked closet where he opened the door and released the real Honey (Angelwing), who was fully coherent. "Wait, so he didn't knock you out or something?" asked James. "Nope," Honey replied. "Oh," said James. "Yeah," Honey said awkwardly. "Well, I'm just going to go back to work now, later Mr. Bon- I mean James."
"Dumbshit," James muttered.
CHAPTER TWO: You know that "victim" of the story that always gets pushed around yet is innocent and is usually a civillian? Yeah well this is the introductory chapter for this character i just realized i can keep going with this omg when i went to type keep i typed it as "peek" lol am i dyslexic or something i hope not
Ian L. Civil, a man with a life no more interesting than you or me, was walking through the forest, hunting for sport. "The Democrats have passed a LOT of laws to keep us from hunting," he thought, "so I guess I have to yell "IT'S COMIN' RIGHT FOR US!"
...
"Kudos to those who get the reference," as his mind wandered, "sometimes it feels I'm the only one making obscure references to popular shows."
Ian meandered at a slow pace, not to disturb the many annoying types of wildlife that were practically waiting to be shot. "In what seems to be the only sanctuary in Los Angeles, there really are a lot of fucking animals that deserve super-AIDS, I mean seriously what is up with th-." Ian couldn't finish. His eyes had glanced over to a mysterious sight. A dog and a cat... fucking. "Holy shit," said Ian. "IT'S COMIN' RIGHT FOR US!" but the pair had finished up and had leapt in different directions.
"I'm Fagithmo (Fagismo) (Raptor)," said the dog in a hilarious, girly voice. "And I'm Gaymoore (Corrupt), I'm a cat THHHHHHH," said Gaymoore. "You shouldn't of been hunting in the first plathe," said Fagismo, "and now we must kill you." "Why?" thought Ian. He thought it was because that only death could part the sight of two different animals gayfucking like bunnies. "There is a better reathon," said Fagismo, "We were celebratory fucking because today is going to be the day that humans will rue the day they were... humanths or thomething. Tee hee."
They were rapidly approaching Ian, turning back into fat, mishapen, and erect men. They were not able to kill him though, as a mysterious man arrived to chase them off with dual-pistols. Unfortunately, no furries died in the accident.
You either
a) At least mention me somewhere in it or
b) Get your balls chopped off.
cool story so far buddy. it'd would be better if you had included shanobi though. im anticipating the production of the next chapter. nice.
It's definitely interesting...
...Just make sure to include me too *oscar*
Because Judge totally doesn't want me to steal his thunder I'm going to not post any more stories until he's done.
Hilarious.
I also, will include a list of things you must do.
A) Kill some furries.
B) INCLUDE ME :mad:
C) Japanes ninjas dude
D) Um...die?