nude breakfast




Posted by Slade

So this morning I woke up thinking, "How can I make today special... Lord?" The answer? EAT WAFFLES!!!!!1 Then I thought, "How can I make these waffles agreeable to Your will, O God?" Clearly there is only one righteous path. BLACKBERRIES! and maybe some syrup, butter, etc.

In the same fashion as the Baptist John, my actions were recorded thusly:

Step one: Pick blackberries, put them in a cute bowl, and take a picture that utilizes the ambient classiness of your home to create a neo-classical naturist vibe.
[IMG]http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a188/ketoman77/Photo1.jpg[/IMG]

Step two: Arrange these divine instruments on a waffle (WAFFLEZzz LOL!!) grid, secured in 47% vegetable oil spread and glazed with maple syrup.
[IMG]http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a188/ketoman77/Photo2.jpg[/IMG]

Step three: Cum. Again and again, for as it is written in the Good Book, "He shall look upon himself, gaze at his own being, and he shall see that while his mind was thus preoccupied with the breaking of his fast, he hath cummed."
[IMG]http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a188/ketoman77/Photo3.jpg[/IMG]




Posted by WillisGreeny

I had a leftover hamburger from the night before...my breakfests suck.




Posted by Lord of Spam

i usualy dont eaet breakfast. plus i dont know anywhere out here to get a decent one:/




Posted by Ant

"sooooooooo good"




Posted by cool gamer dad

looking pretty power metal there, eric!




Posted by cool gamer dad

pussy




Posted by cool gamer dad

*jealous*




Posted by coromoro

I don't like using this word too much, but it's the one word to describe that breakfast. Epic.




Posted by Slade

ROUND TWO


FIGHT


Step one: Find onions and shredded zucchini in your fridge. Get them ready for a frying good time (hyuck!).
[IMG]http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a188/ketoman77/Photo4.jpg[/IMG]

Step two: Throw em in a pan with garlic and wish you had bell peppers.
[IMG]http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a188/ketoman77/Photo5.jpg[/IMG]

Step three: Whisk four dreamy eggs, add them to the mix, then season with salt, pepper, and a little ginger.
[IMG]http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a188/ketoman77/Photo6.jpg[/IMG]

Step four: Warm up a couple corn tortillas in oil, pile on the party, then shred cheese on top and decorate with rooster sauce.
[IMG]http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a188/ketoman77/Photo7.jpg[/IMG]

Step five: Try not to fukken die because you work 10 hours today and don't feel rested at all from last night's mayhem. take the leftovers to work so everyone thinks you're weird for heating up tortillas in the pizza oven!
[IMG]http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a188/ketoman77/Photo8.jpg[/IMG]




Posted by coromoro

Ah, SLADE! You don't know how happy I am about these amazing breakfast posts. Every time I make breakfast I imagine myself making a post out of whatever it is that I cook. It's amazing. I thank you!

The scrambled eggs and onion taco looks completely amazing. Just the thought of smelling the onions sizzling with that dreamy garlic. OH, it's amazing!

I'm going to charge my camera and cook somethin' up. It'll be fantastic!




Posted by cool gamer dad

fine... im gonna start doing this then




Posted by coromoro

Yes! Do it! It'll be fun!




Posted by Slade

:)

I enjoy preparing meals, but usually don't bother spending the time to do it. This way it almost turns my breakfasts into small projects. It IS fun!




Posted by Lord of Spam

when i get my own place, i will create a grilling thread to rival and paltry breakfast you could hope to muster. my smokey flavors and sweet suaced will devesate your pathetic early morning preparations, and lay waste to the very essence of your early morning eating mentality.

tldr: jealous i dont have waffles




Posted by Slade

...don't make me preemptively grill up the best nude breakfast ever.




Posted by Lord of Spam

oh....









































































...its on




Posted by Vampnagel P. Wingpire

Those look delicious. Can you cook me breakfast? I'll cut your hair for you!




Posted by junior senior

im doing this too check my blog




Posted by Slade

Since I didn't make anything special for breakfast, here's a non-nude afternoon baking post.

Step one: Using this recipe (http://www.tasteofhome.com/Recipes/Blackberry-Muffins), throw everything into a bowl at once since you don't want to do very many dishes.
[IMG]http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a188/ketoman77/Photo9.jpg[/IMG]

Step two: Add HEAPS of blackberries and think deeply about the stains these berries cause. Following the picture is a poem I wrote while I was outside picking and getting scratched up.
[IMG]http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a188/ketoman77/Photo10.jpg[/IMG]
[center]Blackberries

I am picking-
berries;
I gaze long at
my hand
Is it-
their juice?
Is it my blood?
Or are they the same...[/center]

Step three: Mix until purple sludge consistency is attained, put in muffin tin. Make sure the oven is already pre-heated. If you didn't plan that far ahead, kill yourself.
[IMG]http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a188/ketoman77/Photo11.jpg[/IMG]

Step four: WAIT FOR ****ING EVER (~25 min). You may decide to spend this time ruining an old PS1 case because you didn't realize Goof-Off would remove stickers AND melt the plastic jewel case itself.
[IMG]http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a188/ketoman77/Photo12.jpg[/IMG]

Step five: Enjoy your blackberry muffins with some milk because Jet Moto 3 isn't valuable anyways, and you'll never want to sell it since it was dirt cheap and its ridiculous physics engine is still awesome.
[IMG]http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a188/ketoman77/Photo13.jpg[/IMG]




Posted by junior senior

more




Posted by Lord of Spam

get a haircut, hippy




Posted by coromoro

Another amazing post, Slade. Absolutely delish. I wanna make somethin' soon!




Posted by Corrupt

say it out loud: everything in this world is fucking amazing.




Posted by Slade

.-.-.-.-. another poor, clothed substitute for a breakfast post .-.-.-.-.

I think that by ignoring my cherry tomato plant I triggered some sort of King Boo effect that made it grow like crazy. So tonight I picked all the ripe ones by flashlight under starry sky.
[IMG]http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a188/ketoman77/Photo13-1.jpg[/IMG]

Next I cleaned them off put them in a pan with 3 other tomatoes from the garden I picked a couple days ago.
[IMG]http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a188/ketoman77/Photo14.jpg[/IMG]

THEN I THREW IT ALL TOGETHER WITH SOME ONIONS AND CORN FROM MY GRANDMA'S GARDEN, ALSO KIDNEY AND BLACK BEANS FROM SAFEWAY. AND SOME JALAPENOS FROM WINCO. AND SOME CHILI SEASONING FROM SAFEWAY AGAIN.
[IMG]http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a188/ketoman77/Photo15.jpg[/IMG]

I AM GOING TO MAKE RICE TO EAT WITH IT PROBABLY TOMORROW, MAYBE AFTER MY 12 HOUR SHIFT STARTING IN 7 HOURS




Posted by Lord of Spam

whoa, whoa whoa, slow down there man

sounds a lot like youre tryin to make somethin' dangerously close to chili there, and i can help but notice that it contains zero meat

might wanna fix that buddy

or else




Posted by coromoro

I wanna live with you, Slade.




Posted by junior senior

slade do u live by urself




Posted by Slade

I totally forgot to mention I baked all those tomatoes in that glass thing @350-400 F until they got super soft. Even after I added them to the pot with beans etc. some of the cherry tomatoes didn't burst, so there were a bunch of sweet tasting yellow orbs floating around with the sour/hot jalapenos. I didn't add hamburger like I'd planned because I guess someone used it all. :( All I had for meat was this stuff called BUTT HAM that has to be the lowest quality ham you can buy. But(t) what it lacks in decent taste and texture it makes up in laughs, ha ha!

I live with a 19 y/o caucasian male, 6'2", identifying marks include creepster facial hair and a pedophile stare




Posted by Lord of Spam

livin in a house full of young dudes is sometimes great fun

most times though, supreme fail.




Posted by Slade

I've had awful experiences rooming with dudes, but this time it's pretty chill.

Who here knows about good cheap rice? All I've got on hand is the cheapest ever that comes in 10 lbs bags and it's terrible stuff- cooks unevenly and is super dry a few minutes of sitting out. send this **** back to ethiopia

gonna go warm up some chili on tortilla chips w/ cheese




Posted by Fadedblood


Quoting Slade:
I live with a 19 y/o caucasian male, 6'2", identifying marks include creepster facial hair and a pedophile stare


You forgot the glasses. They really complete the outfit.

TROLL AWAY!!!!!



Posted by Slade

So, for the last two days I've been eating that chili on chips with cheese and LA VICTORIA! taco sauce on top. It's literally tearing my ******* apart, but this is the only way I know how to make chili. And it's delicious anyways. Almost as delicious as mixing sour cream and rooster sauce in ramen, but that's the recipe for ******* mutilation. I should draw a diagram to illustrate this, but basically as the delicious factor goes up in food, so does the "rectal retribution" factor. Totally worth it.




Posted by Lord of Spam

we dubbed that phenomenon "the assfire".

the best way i have found to trigger it was to go to the dive in charleston, drink 2-3 pitchers of yuengling, eat like 20 of their amazing, ohso****inggood hotwings, then go to bed. when you wake up, you will want to poop. DO NOT POOP. wait. eat taco bell for lunch that day. wait. later that night, sometime shortly before bed, your anus will erupt with the force of mt vesuvius (the destruction of an entire italian town is also likely, depending on location).

good times.




Posted by donttazemebro

pwn that poop!