cat adventure




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

Diagrams:

[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v133/VampiroV.Empire/cat1-1.jpg[/IMG]

[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v133/VampiroV.Empire/cat2-1.jpg[/IMG]

[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v133/VampiroV.Empire/cat3-1.jpg[/IMG]

[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v133/VampiroV.Empire/cat4-1.jpg[/IMG]


All right, so my cat's been missing for the past couple weeks. The problem is this is the same cat we found under our deck, Ruby. Now, normally cats come home no problem. But this one was abandoned and beaten when she was a kitten so she'd incredibly timid. When she was missing she'd come to the front and back door and meow to get in. Then when you open the door she'd get scared and take off. She won't come near any of us.

So I said **** it, I'm getting her no matter what. Starting from the top image I look out the back door to the deck and notice little paw prints exiting the garage in the snow. So I put on a coat and grabbed a flashlight and went to tracking her. I saw them head down the steps towards our shack. So I head down the hill and see them head to the back. The back had a wedge cut out of it due to the fact that it's on the hill and it stores some ****. Anyways, I run down there and see her two glowing eyes. I run back up the hill and call my mom for help. We both head down and I'm struggling in the crawl space to get her until bam. She gone. She went run down a skunk hole. And we've been smelling skunk for the past three days so they're active as ****. So I get the hell out of there as fast as I can. Eventually she comes out and I try and catch her but she finds a way out the side through some broken wood. Problem is, she weighs nothing so no one heard her go. Eventually I see her prints go up the hill.

So they go up the hill between the two houses and into the front. But she's sticking to the gardens where there's no snow so there's no tracks. I think I see some a few houses down and follow them to the backyard until I see better prints and notice it's a skunk. So I get the **** out of there and think "**** it, I'll never find her" so I go back in the house. But I can't, so I go back out and start looking. I go past the skunk tracks and finally I see her prints. I follow those to the persons backyard. Keep in mind I have a flashlight, wearing black gloves, black hoodie with the hood on and dark pants and people are still up. So I'm walking around these yards looking for her prints and eventually find them. But they go under a locked fence. needing to find a way around I head through the dude's garden and through his plants and nwo I'm right beside his sliding glass door and I can see the family sitting there watching TV. But Ruby's tracks are gone amidst dog tracks, raccoon tracks, bunny tracks and skunk tracks. So I start crawling on the ground trying to find hers in all the mess. I can't because of all the roots on the ground so I give up. Needing to find a way back I head down into the ravine.

Now, the ravine is about 60 feet or so down from the street and I get to climbing it. I get halfway up and start to slide down... right into Ruby's prints. Sheer luck. But they eventually disappear somewhere up the hill and I'm ****ed. But I figure she was heading up so I go up to the sidewalk. But there's too many footprints and dog prints so I'm spending ten minutes just going up the walk looking for any sign. Eventually I see one print heading towards home and I follow it to the point where I can't see anymore. I spend another ten minutes looking for where it starts again. Then I notice it heading across the street into the opposite ravine. But this one has a huge creek and is fully shrouded in woods. Fortunately she decides to go right over to the house. But unfortunately she does right into their backyard which is securely shut and there's no way of me getting by it. So I start heading home and notice the dude across the street (who's house I was just skulking near) is watching me. Figured he would call the cops so I start getting on my hands and knees exaggerating looking for prints of my pet.

As I'm heading home I cross the street and walk right into her prints again. No idea where they came from but they're really fresh and they're heading home. So I follow them once again and notice they go right back into my backyard. I rush over just in time to see her tail go back underneath the shed. So now I'm keeping an eye on the hole she got through last time while trying to keep an eye on her. It's essentially a standoff for thirty minutes until I look at the hole, look back and notice she's completely gone. But I've walked all over the place and there's no way I can find her tracks. But I figured she headed up to the deck. And she did, except she went underneath it. And this deck is huge and there's only a small place you can crawl to get underneath. But coming this far I'm determined to get her.

So I start crawling underneath. I'm smacking my head on the top and freezing my hands on the ground and just as I'm about to get her all the way in the back she slips through my fingers and runs out. So now I have to crawl all the way back and start looking for her again. I get on the deck and head inside for a glass of water only to see a couple prints head towards the garage (which is always open) but no other prints heading out. So I get my mom, get in there and lock the door. I find her buried in boxes and get my hand on her tail but she somehow gets out and runs underneath a workbench behind twenty fifty pounds weights. At this point I'm too tired to move them and I don't know if she has rabies or anything like that. So I try to prod her out but she's ****ed and will not move even if I throw stuff at her. So after about an hour my mom goes inside but I decide to stay out. After another hour she hasn't moved. So I go inside to grab a snack and watch the window. After about ten minutes I have to see where she is and notice her gone from the corner. Me and my mom find her between more boxes and corner her. I lunge for her before she can get away and grab her by the hips. I yell for my mom to grab a box to put her in but no matter how tightly I close the top of hold it down she get squeezes through and runs off. So finally I notice an old crock pot and lunge after her again. I grab her, grab the crock pot and toss her in. There's barely enough room for her to fit but I close the lid and tape it down.

I run inside down to the bathroom and lock her in because she's pretty much completely wild at this point. My other cats are freaking out at her and trying to attack her and she has no idea who we are but now too terrified to move and we don't know if she's pregnant or not. So she's locked up downstairs until my other cats stop trying to claw at her and until she snaps out of it I realises she's home. But that whole thing took over six hours in -20 degree weather and now I'm sick, cold and thinking it might not've been so worth it. But hey, at least I got her back.

And this is stupid long. Woops.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

Holy **** that's why longer than I thought. Don't expect anyone to read that ****.




Posted by Slade

I started at the top and by the time I got to the third diagram I was boling. Super mega interesting story dude. Sounds like an intense amount of tracking that basically led you back home every time. But that totally makes sense considering the nature of the cat. Glad you got her in your house at least. Hopefully she chills out soon. I'm wondering how she gets along with the other cats and your family if she runs away at the sight of people.


Just goes to show you, kids... You abuse a ***** a few times and she's ****ed up forever.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

Well it took her about a year to get used to us. She only turned one last october. So these past few months have been really good and she was actually cuddling with us and ****. But then she went into heat and escaped. So now we're worried we might have to start all over again which would be a huge pain in the ***. But fingers crossed.

But yeah, tracking the prints made me feel like a badass. Like an indian stalking his prey. But **** that ****, annoying as hell.




Posted by BLUNTMASTER X

of course it was worth it man, you save that kitty's life in a totally badass way. no posters, no shelters, no cops, just hardcore tracking skills.




Posted by Vampnagel P. Wingpire

holy ****, that's awesome dude. kitties are so worth it <3

just don't let her near your other kitties until she's been to the vet.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

Yeah, we were going to take her to the vet but didn't. Next morning we came down and checked on her and all she wanted was attention and some cuddling. I checked for any cuts or scrapes or anything like that and there wasn't any so I figure she's fine. Only problem is she's disgustingly thin. I mean she was always fairly small but when you pet her side or her back all you feel is rib and spine and it's so gross. So I'm guessing she didn't eat for the two weeks she was gone which likely means she just hid the entire time.

On the plus side she's completely different in a good way. She's super affectionate now and will even jump up on the couch and sleep beside you whereas before she would never sleep near anyone nor get too close to a long period of time. So she's actually like a normal cat now.

Though my other cats hate the **** out of her and won't go by her without hissing. Luckily she's an incredibly stupid cat so she just sits there and purrs.




Posted by Vampnagel P. Wingpire

awww need pics <3

sounds like my boy kitty when I brought him home. would sit there purring, flop over or try to play with Paige, meanwhile she's hissing, spitting and trying to kill him.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

hahaha, yeah that's exactly it. It's pretty cute actually.

Though my mom thinks she's more affectionate because she's pregnant. Not sure if that's how it works with cats but she went out in heat and it's almost hard to believe she didn't run into any boy cats since there's quite a few neighbours who let their cats out.

Hopefully not though because it'll be impossible to get rid of the kittens.




Posted by BLUNTMASTER X

put a pregnancy test in her kitty litter




Posted by Vampnagel P. Wingpire

More affectionate could mean she's prego. Are her nipples getting chubby? If she were pregnant would it be hard to give them away on kijiji or the paper or something? Or just keep them all! you could switch her food to a premium kitten food if you think she's really pregnant.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

fuuuuuck. And kijiji doesn't work so well. My mom works with a couple of farmers who sells their kittens every so often on there and they sell about two max. The rest they toss in a sack and throw them in a river because they're impossible to get rid of these days.

And I can't tell with her nipples. Every time I rub her all I can feel is bone. So maybe in a week when she has a bit of fat on her it'll be easier.




Posted by BLUNTMASTER X

[quote=Vampiro V. Empire;931116]The rest they toss in a sack and throw them in a river because they're impossible to get rid of these days.whoa

isnt there a better way of doing it? ****. :(




Posted by Vampnagel P. Wingpire

jesus I hate people :mad:

hopefully she won't have too many if she's really small. you could always get her spayed now and then you wouldn't have to worry ever again. plus if she's not healthy enough to be giving birth there could be complications. :(




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

Well I said "why wouldn't they just let them go?" because I'm sure someone would be glad to take in a starving, shivering baby kitten. But they're farmers and have to deal with this every so often so they don't care. Not to mention cats are only there to get rid of pests, they're not pets. And they're farmers so they're used to killing animals all the time.

but still D:




Posted by Vampnagel P. Wingpire

when someone dumped off my kitty she was hecka prego, but skin and bones besides her distended belly. she was also under a year old. she was taken to the humane society and spayed so no kitties and no risking her heath. :(:)




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire


Quoted post: hopefully she won't have too many if she's really small. you could always get her spayed now and then you wouldn't have to worry ever again. plus if she's not healthy enough to be giving birth there could be complications.


deformed and retarded baby kittens? ugh

And yeah, definitely getting her fixed. Been meaning to do it for awhile now.



Posted by BLUNTMASTER X

why cant they just shoot them or do whatever it is they do to dying horses




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

waste of bullets




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

also it's canada




Posted by BLUNTMASTER X

couldnt they break their necks like they do with chickens




Posted by Vampnagel P. Wingpire

that's still terrible. :( just dump them off at the humane society and say they found them on the side of the road so they won't have to pay the fee.

and you don't want something to go wrong with mommy cat, either!




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

Still have to pay. Too many animals in the humane society as is so you'll pay and they'll just kill them anyways.

As for breaking their necks that's what my neighbour does to rabbits and stuff. shoots them with a slingshot or poisons them then goes around every morning breaking the necks. But I'd thinking leaving them to drown would be easier on the mind than breaking nine necks.




Posted by BLUNTMASTER X

heh, guess it would be kinda fun to throw a bag of kitties




Posted by Vampnagel P. Wingpire

:mad:

really, they still pay? I think you only have to pay here if it's your animal and not one you just found on the side of the road or whatever. people suck




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

I think the SPCA figured out that little trick and decided **** it everyone pays now




Posted by Vampnagel P. Wingpire

what a bunch of hypocrites




Posted by BLUNTMASTER X

why dont you start your own kitty adoption service




Posted by Vampnagel P. Wingpire

i'll buy some land and have a kitty farm. who wants to help!




Posted by Slade

Man... My dad's killed several of our cats that way. Bag + bucket full of water. I don't remember exactly what happened, but I think we were given a feral cat for a pet by our neighbor. When we had kittens he always refused to let them free outside because they'd either get eaten by coyotes or end up adding to the huge inbred cat problem over at our neighbor's. It's a physical cesspool between hills in which every local cat has added a little magic to create several dozen wild, ****ed up cats.




Posted by BLUNTMASTER X

man, killing your cats in a bucket? that's even more ****ed up. wooooow




Posted by BLUNTMASTER X

how do you dispose of the corpses




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

that might explain why the farmers don't release the cats.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire


Quoted post: how do you dispose of the corpses


if you leave them in the water the meat and fur will turn to slush and fall of the bones. then you just feed the slush to your animals.



Posted by Vampnagel P. Wingpire

no more depressing kitty stories mmkay?

so whenever my cats are being super cute and cuddly I go to whip out the camera which in turn wakes them up and they move before I can snap a shot. what is up with that




Posted by BLUNTMASTER X

... WHAT




Posted by BLUNTMASTER X

DUDE THAT IS MESSED UP




Posted by BLUNTMASTER X

*frantically dials SPCA*




Posted by Slade

Yeah I remember him coming back inside with cut up arms, and he may have ended up breaking its neck anyways since it wouldn't drown. Since then he's perfected much better ways of killing things such as putting it in a post-hole and shooting it. don't have to move the body at all


Quoted post: how do you dispose of the corpses

I have no idea, but since we live next to the woods and there's a lot of brush around he could have just thrown it over the fence just about anywhere.



Posted by Vampnagel P. Wingpire


Quoting Vampiro V. Empire: if you leave them in the water the meat and fur will turn to slush and fall of the bones. then you just feed the slush to your animals.


holy **** that would smell awful. i think my triscuits are coming back up



Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

lol. Apparently stripping meat from bones that way produces the worst smell imaginable.




Posted by Slade

worse than the smell of festering infections?


those two smells should gain humanoid form and battle it out. on the space needle




Posted by BLUNTMASTER X

the worst smell is pulling back foreskin after you aint showered in a few days

not that you guys would know. what with circumcision and all




Posted by Vampnagel P. Wingpire

dude I hear ya




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

hahahaha




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

so yeah, her nipples are like the size of my finger. So she's mega pregnant. and she's fat. and she's looking for places to hide. So we're ****ed.

can't afford that ****.




Posted by Ant


Quoting BLUNTMASTER X: the worst smell is pulling back foreskin after you aint showered in a few days

not that you guys would know. what with circumcision and all


just saw this. ****ing euros fags


Quoting Vampiro V. Empire: so yeah, her nipples are like the size of my finger. So she's mega pregnant. and she's fat. and she's looking for places to hide. So we're ****ed.

can't afford that ****.


anymore details about the nipples?



Posted by BLUNTMASTER X

time to bust out the bucket

wanna gargle that meat slush mmmmmm




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire


Quoted post: anymore details about the nipples?


if you combined all six nipples into one human nipple it would be one of those black ones with the huge areolas and thick long nipples. that's how big they are.



Posted by Dark Bulb 4.3

why am I turned on :(




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

idk. those nipples are gross




Posted by Dark Bulb 4.3

I'm a freak then :(




Posted by Ant

dark bulb likes big nipples with pancake areolas.




Posted by Dark Bulb 4.3

I prefer puffy ones actually :3




Posted by Ant

puffy is nice sometimes. can be really cute on the right girl. I LIKE ALL KINDS OF NIPS!




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

pale. the rest is dependent on the girl.




Posted by Dark Bulb 4.3

[quote=Ant;935034]puffy is nice sometimes. can be really cute on the right girl. I LIKE ALL KINDS OF NIPS!

even black nips?




Posted by Ant

maybe. the idea of ****ing a black chick has been floating around in my mind lately, but the hot not really black looking except for the dark skin kind of black.

asians are still on top though.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

problem with black chicks is that there's only 0.1% that are hot. and they're usually super dark and look like they just came from africa or barely black. Americanized black chicks are so gross.




Posted by BLUNTMASTER X

when i'm not in college i'm gonna post a totally awesome picture




Posted by Ant

idk, just kind of want to be able to say I ****ed a black chick.

or a white one for that matter. lol




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

of a black chick?




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

that was meant for x




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

also, I've never met a black chick in person. true fact.




Posted by BLUNTMASTER X

yeah. cant go get it right now though because its on a NSFW page




Posted by Dark Bulb 4.3

I have an irish redhead <3

Like vamp said, except it's more like .01% especially in NY

Saw one attractive one the other day, looked like a different version of storm, but nothing like that xmen chick. But she was a mix, wasn't a total dark chick.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

It's funny, the super black skin is actually mildly attractive to me but the faces are usually so gross that it ruins everything. plus the vag looks like a horse.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

they're like a mix between a gorilla and a horse.




Posted by Dark Bulb 4.3

vamp wtf




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

gorilla face, horse vag. can't be denied.

though there's a lot with a horse/gorilla face amalgamation too.




Posted by Dark Bulb 4.3

wtf at you never seeing a black person I mean




Posted by Dark Bulb 4.3

wow, my responses can't keep up, ****ing work at work lmao




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

I've seen them. Never met one. But that was in North Carolina. Honestly never seen a black woman in this city.




Posted by Dark Bulb 4.3

canadian black people I saw were so white in behavior, it was weird. I mean saw, like they behaved in public and didn't talk in screams.

also, you're probably very lucky, you don't know!




Posted by Vampnagel P. Wingpire

lol

vamp, just get your kitty spayed. usually pretty cheap if you can find the right place plus then you don't have to worry about sick kitty/kittens




Posted by Dark Bulb 4.3

the racism in this thread is mild and very entertaining




Posted by Vampnagel P. Wingpire


Quoting Dark Bulb 4.3: canadian black people I saw were so white in behavior, it was weird. I mean saw, like they behaved in public and didn't talk in screams.

also, you're probably very lucky, you don't know!


that's because they aren't real black people here



Posted by Dark Bulb 4.3

what defines a real black person, is it their soul?




Posted by Vampnagel P. Wingpire

gangsta talk. and the swagger. some other things




Posted by Dark Bulb 4.3

like the way they groove, and their "rhythm"?




Posted by Vampnagel P. Wingpire

more like the way they talk, wear huge *** chains and **** and point their finger at you whilst screaming 'yo nigga'




Posted by Dark Bulb 4.3

wow, I've never heard you say things so racist, what happened over the last few years :O!!!




Posted by junior senior


Quoting BLUNTMASTER X: the worst smell is pulling back foreskin after you aint showered in a few days

not that you guys would know. what with circumcision and all




let me see



Posted by Ant

DEJA VU.




Posted by BLUNTMASTER X

I CANT FIND THTA **** PICTURE




Posted by Dark Bulb 4.3

i dunno what circumcision is




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire


Quoted post: vamp, just get your kitty spayed. usually pretty cheap if you can find the right place plus then you don't have to worry about sick kitty/kittens


Been meaning to but it's not my job to do. Sister's supposed to do it and I refuse to out of principle.



Posted by junior senior


Quoting BLUNTMASTER X: I CANT FIND THTA **** PICTURE


of your penis



Posted by BLUNTMASTER X

[quote=Vampiro V. Empire;935505]Been meaning to but it's not my job to do. Sister's supposed to do it and I refuse to out of principle.i just got a vision of your sister doing the spaying herself and you all like 'ewwww that is so nasty' and chuckled




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

lol

nah, if I did it I've have to pay for it. So not going to happen.




Posted by Vampnagel P. Wingpire

wouldn't be hard to do it yourself. so i hear




Posted by junior senior

kitty birth control




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire


Quoted post: wouldn't be hard to do it yourself. so i hear


haha, oh *** no. not doing it myself. Gross.



Posted by Vampnagel P. Wingpire

wear gloves!




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

Not worried about stuff getting on me. Just seeing it.




Posted by Vampnagel P. Wingpire

bet it's so easy you could do it with your eyes closed




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

can't imagine surgery being that easy. Unless I can do it chemically.




Posted by Vampnagel P. Wingpire

experiment and see