It's an assignment, and you're going to do it for me.
Joke must be narrative with a punchline, not knock-knock or "what do you get..." type jokes that require audience participation. Besides that, anything goes.
linko likes dickgirls
Panic
you know you can just search for one of the joke threads in GBS and probably find something good right off the bat. buuuut thanks for thinking of us first <3333, and for that I'll reward you with one of my recent favorites:
why are there almost never any jokes about the jonestown massacre
[spoiler]because the punch lines are too long[/spoiler]
Thank You Thank You
- Corrupt
HA!
YESSSSS!
love that enthusiasm! gonna bust that one out during social gatherings now, buddy? I'm sure it'll be a hit
Just Bel-Air the whole class.
Get high and make a post at vgc. Next day, wake up and look through your post history for the funniest post. Guaranteed laughs.
[quote=Vampiro V. Empire;929719]Get high and make a post at vgc. Next day, wake up and look through your post history for the funniest post. Guaranteed laughs.
it's true
this works pretty **** well
i have had many a day where i wake up and review my posts only to find that i have said some really ****ed up **** and or nonsensical garbage
but it's always funny
so this family walks into a talent agency, a mom and dad, a teenage duaghter, a young son, and their loyal dog.
The dad looks at the agent and says "man, have i got the act for you"
The agent looks at him and just scowls "family acts arent in anymore, man. you dont have a chance."
The entire family looks nervous of being thrown out, and the dad quickly responds "trust me sir, I think you're gonna like this. its a really unique act"
The agent says alright and gives them 5 minutes.
As soon as they get the chance, they bust into action. the son takes out a stereo and starts playing a cd of bethoveen, while the sister begins to undress and masturbate. The dad grabs the mom, shoves her to the ground, and violently rips her clothes off. the sister at this point is masturbating furiously, and begins to moan as the son walks over to his mom and unzips his pants. the dad begins to pound the mom as if her pelvis owed him money, and the kid starts ****ing all over both of them. the sister at this point is pretty much just cumming all over the place, and this has gotten the dogs attention. the dog comes over, hard as could be, and starts to rail the girl. the dad pulls out and cums on the mom, and then the son takes her and flips her over, then starts pounding her *******. the dad gets underneath her *** and starts to try to catch the juices and **** that are falling to the floor. the sister reaches back and starts to finger the dogs *** right before it cums in her. after the dog pulls out, the duaghter walks over and kneels in front of the mom and lets her eat the dogs load out of her. the son cums in his moms ***, and pulls out. the dad catches the biggest log anyone had ever seen as his wife lets all teh **** her son was holding back go. the dad then gets up and his daughter eats it out of his mouth while jerking off the son. in the meantime, the wife is putting on a strapon, and comes over and starts ****ing the husband up the ***. he begins to thrust as he gets close, and the son reaches over and starts slapping the **** out of his dads cock. the dad blows his load all over his daughter and then drops a massive log of his own on the ground. They all take five steps back and do a running slide through the now massive puddle of **** and **** and cum and end the slide on their knees doing jazzhands.
"JESUS CHRIST, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT" asks the agent
they all pause half a second and respon "THE ARISTOCRATS
~~~~~~~~~~~~
/thread
That joke is really only funny the first time unless you're actually a comedian.
a printout of exoxile's post history
hahahahahaha
I'd rep a lot of you guys, bu-POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOST MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE
idk, even your unhigh posts are pretty funny. Just sit down and think of something in your life and then go off on a tangent. Or go find that goat story you posted and use that. Remember finding that pretty funny.
Sheep
same difference
...K.
haha how was that for a "****ed off girl" post. So anyways I need something with a setup and a punchline, can't involve questions or anything otherwise I'd use something like Corrupt's(<333). Not sure what GBS is or I'd check it out... but I basically need a joke in the form of LoS's, just... different. Vulgarity is cool, I mean we just had a discussion about the word "cunt" last class, but yeah. gimme somethin magical
By GBS I mean SomethingAwful's "General Bullshit" subforum, and I even went to the trouble of finding the particular thread I had in mind: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3058133&pagenumber=1
From what I remember, as long as you skip past all the generic crap that most of us have all heard before, there are actually some pretty good ones. Just don't get too put off by the "welcome to the republican partY!!!!!" shitfest either. boy gibbis sure does know how to run a joke. into the ground.
Thanks for the link, dude, I've been skimming that thread off and on for a while now. Pretty sure I'll be able to find something that's got that magical, usable "me" feeling.
Found a fukken huge, drawn out and epic version of what LoS posted, too. this is probably all well known but I've never really been into jokes so it's new to me!
I never really told jokes either. More of a situation man myself.
observational humor and messing with people are the easiest and usually most effective types of humor
Whereas puns are almost universally hated.
despite being hard to make sometimes. WACKY
at most I'll acknowledge that it was well thought or give credit when it's due. but that's all I'll do for puns.
...I'd never sit there and deliver puns, unless it was in a style where I'm just being annoying and doing it austin powers style. But it's hilarious to me when I choose the wrong word to describe something and it ends up being... hilarious. OKAY IT'S HILARIOUS
so what joke did you pick
Eh... class is in 6 hours and I haven't decided for sure. gonna cruise that thread again and see what stands out
hoooooooooope thaaaaaaaaaat's enouuuuuuuuuuuugh tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime
jokes are pretty lame. Like, joke jokes. Usually don't find them funny and I have to humour the teller. It's like how comedians don't tell jokes they tell funny stories.
I told the one about the guy with the big orange head. It was honestly the funniest joke I read in that thread, and I didn't feel right aiming to please the audience and delivering something... stupid. Needless to say, everyone was completely silent and confused except for one or two people chuckling to themselves, and one guy who stood up and clapped. definitely could have improved delivery, but judging from the crowd... I couldn't have expected much more of a reaction. anyways I'm already the guy with the weird sense of humor so it totally works :cool:
you know you have to post the joke now
I told this one but mixed it with another version so basically the guy was talking to a doctor, since I didn't understand the point of a bartender.
Second one sucks, but I got a good laugh out of the first one.
naw, it sucked too
Yeah, I really liked that first one. :cool:
i'm not even sure i get the first one
i mean, it seems like one of those jokes where the punchline is funny because it's obvious as hell rather than subtle but...
it wasn't
elaborate (woof)
funny
Yeah it's not really a joke at all because there's no AHA! moment. which is what I like. nonjokes > jokes
oh man, theres on that goes like, you walk up to someone and tell them to say knock knock. then, when they say it, you say "whos there?" and just stare at them.
9 times out of 10 they're just like wtf?
or be like, "hey ask me if im a car" then when they do say yes/
then be like "ask me if im a truck" then when they do you're like "no you ****ing moron, i just told you i was a car"
edit: last one- ask me if im a tree
answer: yes. then just stare at them. another lol inducer for only the teller
there's nothing to get in that first joke.
The joke between the lines is that the guy figured (by some weird strain of logic) that wishing for a giant orange head was a good idea, and in reality he realized it wasn't.
However, the inherent joke is that you're expecting a clever punchline (probably a pun or a misunderstanding) but instead you get the most obvious blunt answer. It's a betrayal of expectations. It's like saying "How many George Bushes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A ton because he's [COLOR="black"]fu[/COLOR]cking stupid."
But in the end, dissecting jokes destroys any humor the joke might have had.
yeah that's p. much what i thought
thank you, the judge. justice has been served yet again. *slade's joke is led from the dock in handcuffs, sobbing gently*
:judge:
judge pretty much said what my original post said except I couldn't say what I wanted to say (namely "It's a betrayal of expectations") so I edited it out. THE JUDGE is a smart guy
*solemn, serious nod*
frasier crane this guy
heh, now i imagine ant and judge's place as a new york apartment with an old guy hanging out