This thread is meant to call for more intelligent posting/less spam than the "post something random" thread. Just post a line or two or three, or a few pages if you so desire, about what you're thinking/feeling/doing at the moment.
I am enjoying chocolate liqueor and am about to watch a movie called "Sideways." I also just recently determined that I'll probably be taking a trip all along the western states of the U.S. in June and July.
Have they discovered how Mitch Hedberg died? It's been nearly three weeks since his death, and I still have yet to hear about the cause. Talking about him among some of my friends gets them depressed, as it does me.
So you know, Raptor, Sideways isn't a good movie. It's just another one of those romance movies with the same ingredients as all others.
Brandon (a.k.a. "Admiral Anthrax") is such a chatterbox. :p It's not that I mind it at all; in fact, it can be quite entertaining, but when I walked him outside to his car while I was half asleep, he started talking about cars, and... let's just say I almost fell over on his car because I was so tired. But he's a great guy... we've had some great times together, yes siree.
And on another note, I've noticed that I go through a little phase of extreme drowsiness every night at around 9:00, then if I'm able to stay awake during that, I perk up again at about 9:30. Sometimes I'll also go back into the really-drowsy-almost-fallen-asleep stage again at around 11:00, but then I soon break out of that too. It's not until I hit the third stage of drowsiness that I finally give in and go to sleep, usually at around 1:30-2:00.
And now I'm just gonna let my Winamp playlist run, with the bass and volume turned up a lot. And yes, I'm aware of the fact that it's almost midnight and my window is wide open... but I don't care.
I'm quite tired...I just got done watching two movies - "Return of the Living Dead, Pt. II" and "National Lampoon's Senior Trip". They were both decent I guess, but I kept falling asleep by the end of the second movie.
I don't want to go to sleep but I guess I'll have to shortly.
Other than that, I'm hoping to get my paranormal, mysteries, and mythology board on Game Wire that I had asked Hyper for sometime soon...
I'm also getting quite fascinated with wolves, werewolves, and just nature in general.
I'm thinking of writing some kind of Xenogears/Xenosaga story up, or possibly some kind of paranormal-themed short story; just because I haven't really written anything in a long time...
...I want to play Xenogears...
I just woke upabout 10 minutes ago. I feel kind of odd that as soon as I wake up I get a drink and get on the computer. My vision is a little blurry. It was actually blurry since a few weeks ago whenever I played any video games. Besides my eyes, another thing nor working would be my internet. I'm using a router right now, but very often, the internet will shut itself off. This is especially annoying when I'm playing any online games with fellow VGCers.
I somehow got a laugh out of reading something on my homepage, msn.com. It was "10 men and 10 women who give love a bad name." Number one was Homer for men, and Helen of Troy for women. Pfft, like they matter. I found it funny though how Little Debbie got on the list. She can be quite the bitch, stuffing you full of unhealthy foods and dissapearing when you have a heart attack.
Yesterday my cat was constantly getting on top of me while I was on the computer. Affectionately licking my ears and rubbing her nose on my face. Eventhough her tongue has been on places most humans can't reach themselves, and her nose has been in some odd places too, I enjoyed the show of affection and savored it. I scratched her back, she raised her tail, I set her on my chest, she purrs, and goes straight for my ears. Gosh, I wish my other cat would have the same effect when I hold him. Although, I feel more happy around him. He doesn't purr often, nor does he lick my ears. However, we both enjoy being together usually. We both like looking out the window from my bed, laying on a soft, furry blanket. He'll bump his head into me and lay next to me and bathe in the sun. He's easier to satisfy, but I guess with much different results.
Right now, I'm feeling extremely paranoid. Since I recently moved into a new house, there's construction workers all around. But now they're closer to my house than ever. In the front, back and on both sides. Since I haven't got the blinds up yet, I fear they may be watching me and what I do. Of course, I have enough common sense to do private things elsewhere, but it's still a odd feeling. As if I were being watched by some voyeur. Certainly uncomfortable.
I just came back from a school raffle, and won three things: A toast rack, a Chinese ornamental plate and a flowery pencil tin. I spent ten quid at the fete on silly stalls and food, but I don't feel any remorse about not having spent it on anything worthwhile. Odd, I'll probably end up regretting it tomorrow morning when I also realise I haven't done any of the coursework I was meant to.
Also, my thoughts have been fluctuating wildly between "I want a new iPod" and "I couldn't care less about a new iPod" recently. I got a large sum of money a few days ago, and I'm not sure about whether or not to save up and buy a 40GB off ebay, or to spend it all on CDs and wait awhile.
I just woke up, and my mouth is dry. I tried to drink some water, but I cannot quench my thirst.
I have to babysit in a few hours, until later tonight - and I'm not looking forward to it.
Wow, I do not have a lot on my mind right now...
I've just realised that I cannot get enough of the Agalloch song "She Painted Fire Across The Skyline". It's infectious.
I don't want to go back to work in 30 minutes. But I guess I have to even though I won't be doing anything. So that leaves me to think...I'm sad :(
In a few hours, my friend Kat and I are going to see Sin City. She's been ranting and raving about how good it is, and I trust her taste in movies, so that makes me more inclined to see it. We'll also hit our favorite restaurant, Ruby's, and maybe hang out at the arcade for a bit. Also, Spencer's Gifts should have some good stuff for us to blow our money on, as usual!
Only thing is, I'm not feeling too well right now. I have all this shit that's been dripping down into my throat because of my ever-lingering sinus infection, and lately I haven't been able to walk very far without coughing and spluttering. I missed laser-tagging last night, because of it. :mad: But I still think I'll be all right... I'm nauseous as hell right now, but I think something to eat will help that greatly.
And it's also cloudy out, at noon. That's nice... you usually see the sun beating down at full force this time of day. What a welcome change.
My musical's over... that's a shame. Jon was holding Merry against his body before she left... his lips were on her forehead. I should've told her how lucky she was, how she didn't know that I would give my right arm to be in her position. Oh well. Now that it's over I wonder what I'm going to do with my life. That was about half of my freshman year dedicated to the musical.
Sean forgot to call me. "Forgot"? HAH. I'm sure he just didn't want to because he was too busy getting sucked off by Destanie or something. Asshole.
My hair is untamed... I need to eat something.
Sigh.
Got home from work a little while ago. Had to pick up some Timbits (free of charge) because yesterday they made the same mistake twice. Anyhow, someone plugged a toilet in the women's washroom at bk, and it started to come back up the drainage system in the kitchen, so we had to close down the dinning room. It wasn't pleasant, but luckily it happened 10 minutes before my shift ended.
I'm also going to call Microplay later on and hound them about a job.
I wonder what I should post in http://vgchat.com/showthread.php?t=3324
Other than that, I'm thinking of "ono im about to be band what do i do now how will life go on i think i want to kill myself im not accepted by a certain subculture oh no, etc."
My toe is rather tingly because I just got a fourth of the nail removed because it was ingrown and the numbing is wearing off. God damn that shot hurt like hell.
"I was worried about germs... and my daughter!"
"We used to flush and pray. Now we use Rid-X."
Yup, this was all in a commercial for Rid-X I just watched. Personally, I'm worried that the script writer was on crack. Or maybe Rid-X really is meant to be a substitute for flushing and praying.
All these chat rooms these days have some packs of idiots using little automated scripts that say a bunch of things for them when they press a combination of keys. Not only are these automated messages already cut down to the Internet slang that apparently "saves time", but it defeats the purpose of actually even cutting down the message to begin with. What time is there to save? I just raised this point openly to the room I was in, well, actually, I just expressed my dislike for the messages, since they're defeating the purpose of coming into a room to chat. Then suddenly some moronic user decides to increase their power to "host" level, just to attempt to make me feel intimidated (whilst failing misserably - I couldn't have felt more empowered).
They attempt to give me warnings to "be nice", yadda yadda yadda and I had simply said, "I'm just expressing my opinion. I looked over your own rules and the ones provided by the chat providers. What I am doing is not in breach of any rule thus far." Mind you, one of that particular rooms rules were, stupidly, "do not annoy the hosts or chatters", something the host decided to bring to my attention, at which point, I couldn't be any more amused at the amount of intelligence held within that rule and the host of that channel.
My response couldn't have been anything other than, "Your automated messages are annoying me, a chatter. Why isn't the rule being enforced?" I suppose the host couldn't think of anything that actually could justify their idiotic actions and stupidly strict power-hungry needs, so I was banned with the message attached to "read the rule of the chat providers", something I had already done and pointed out beforehand. I'm beginning to become amused by the bans, as they are always unvalid the very next day; I think I will make it my entertainment, to point out their stupidity and have a laugh about it.
Life is grand.
On a side note, what's also on my mind is... well, I did have something else on my mind but I forget. Oh well, a new episode of The Simpsons should cure it.
Ugh. They asked me to go into work tomarrow on my day off. Fuckers. So I think I'm just going to sleep and wait till they call me tomarrow...which they prolly will. And I'll think of a good reason then to why I didn't go in. Cause fuck I was tired all day today, and I'm going to sleep in damnit. Ants need rest too... :(
Right now I'm amassing a list of all the funny flash movies I know. My brother and I often quote them to one another just for laughs, but I have a similarly goofy friendship with a classmate and tend to quote the same movies with him. He can find usually humor in them even without knowing the source, but I'd like to present him with all the movies anyway.
I'm exhausted with school right now. Though I'm only a sophomore, I'm starting to get what they call "senioritis", where all you're doing is waiting for the end... in my case, just for the summer. If it were earlier in the year, I'd change my attitude, but summer's so close that I'll wait for the relief.
My toe looks like big fuzzy lightbulb ever since I re-wrapped it. Underneat though, it looks like a gooey mass of blood and flesh. I think the doctor cut the nail unevenly. Nuts. :(
You know, this air conditioner is far too cold and I probably shouldn't even be sitting this way. Why did I buy water, too? I didn't really feel like water at the time, but it was exceedingly cheaper than a soda of the same size. Well, a game for several hours will make my mind turn into a unresponsive unit that reacts only to henchmens and things that I must collect or kill within each game.
Funnily enough, I'm wasting my Internet credit at my campus just to browse this forum but I could just as easily wait until I get home in a few hours and make my posts then. Nah, then I'd be forced to do some work, of which I don't feel like tackling right now.
specopssv44 amuses me also, as does his typing style. All that stupidity in such a small boy.
Work sucks, but that's not important right now. In fact, nothing really seems to be important anymore. I haven't the time for anything, period. Not even to be typing all this bullshit that's on my mind, but, who cares. Life is being pointless reight now so I feel like wasting some of it. The chair I'm in is uncomfortable. I dislike it. Where'd I set the zippo? Screw that. I'm thirstly, so I'll drink the last drop from this empty cup here. Unsatisfying. Sort of like life. Much like it, actually. Fuck, I have tomorrow off; what am I gonna do? Something that's a total damn waste, I bet me. I have a strong dislike for the arrogance that is so abundant on this forum, but that doesn't keep me away. I suppose stupid people are like a drug or something. Not that I claim to be intelligent, but, people who are my inferiors. And the holier-than-thou personas of two particular VGCers are also annoying because it seems like the trendy first year college students pre-packaged personality courtesy of their student union or something, which these people use to tell everyone they're inferior and that their opinions are invalid but that in turn, the very opinions these people subject upon "the masses" or whatever catch phrase they use for everyone who has not completely cast aside popular culture, doesn't have excess sex, and who listens to bands that have a label, should in turn be respected and that they're clearly right. It's so condesending it's sickening. But, hey, it's the socially exceptable high road to popularity here on good ol' VGC. Considering how many things actually bother me about his damned board, I wonder why I stick around. Probably just like the terrible mind-altering drugs I subject myseld too; addicted. And I realise I've ranted, not posted, well, nevermind. My mind is just one long rant about why everything that is not me is clearly in the "less than" sector of my grim existence. Sort of like trying to dig through forty feet of concrete with your forhead just to find upon success you're rewarded with a titanium plated safe, padlocked, blast-proof, and all the works. Such is existence. I bore myself, but even that won't prevent his from ending, not now. My dissatisfaction with vending machines is a itchy spot on a chunck of C4 I want to rub vigourously with sulphur in order to detonate it.
I wish I could sum all this up without sounding like a gothy Hot Topic cliche. So I won't bother. Welcome to Katalinaville; population 1/2.
You ever eat so much Chinese food that your face starts to tingle and your belly feels like it's going to pop? I am having one of those moments. It's bittersweet. :drooling:
Hmmm Pancakes ^^
Currently, I'm thinking about how stupid the "homos are mentally ill" theory is. Personally, I think that being a homosexual is a random flux, like being left-handed. I'm also thinking of proposing this idea to a whole bunch of right-wing republicans at my school.
Now, for the obvious: That oh-so-special month, June, is what I await.
I'm trying to figure out how to get out of a financial pit right now. Turns out that the 100 quid I got a few days ago was for a new phone. I found this out half an hour after I'd paid all my ebay people. Crap. I'm screwed unless I think of something by next saturday.
I just got back from Hooters. Family restuarant, pfah. They use their succubi to lure you in and have you pay for meals that fill you up far too much than they should. And then my friend's dad says that it's my birthday and they had me stand up on a chair and "flap" my wings. I don't mind breasts, I like them, but I'd prefer them on a girl I'm in love with rather than a girl who's payed to flash their cleavage everywhere.
Hmm, how can I make a compromise with Judge to make myself live/go back to normal?
I want so badly to leave and never return right now. From what it doesn't matter. Maybe I can get the family head to send me to Europe. Not like that'll solve anything but I want a blank slate.
Holy crap, am I wired. And I only had one energy drink. I kicked arse at laser tag, though... did the best I've done in a long time. But then again, I learned a few key things today, so that greatly improved my overall performance. Too bad AA went on a different team the last game only to try and obliterate me, but it was I who obliterated him!
Aside from that, I'm just gonna kick back with some orangeade and listen to music like I usually do on Saturday nights. And maybe go outside a bit later to get rid of some of this excess energy I have.
Yep. Today was a good day; a good day indeed.
Jesse's attempt at screwing with the forums always seems to fail misserably or turn out to be crap. Well done for being such a complete, deliberate and utter retard, Jesse; if there was an award, I'd give you it.
Orange juice is kind of nice to have at the moment, it would be a change from my usual orange and mango juice.
I really should start posting more intelligently.
I'm slightly tired at the moment, but I have to finish playing this part of Xenogears, so that I can save it and head to bed. My fingernail feels a bit sharp, since I just scratched myself on the neck...
Hmm...*draws a blank*
My laptop's arriving on thursday... My first dual-boot computer for three years. It's got windows xp pro and enlightenment 17 on it, I think. If all goes well, I should finally be able to get my head 'round a linux-based OS that ain't kde.
Enough with the geek talk: WHEE LAPTOP
G0d of War....G0d of War....
Then I come screaming back to reality, which is the mound of homework I must do.
what happens next?
It's raining. I'm ****ed off, because now my feet are soaking wet. I always wear sandals from april onwards until it gets cold again.
I watched The Amityville Horror last week. It's made me paranoid about the dark corners of my house. I really wish I saw Fever Pitch instead.
I'm ****ed because two of my friends are turning into complete anti-socials because of their new girlfriends. It's a real pain in the ***. Additionally, I need to clean my room and study, neither of which I want to do. We got spanked in soccer yesterday by the University's club team, which sucked, and today we're playing another equally good team. I hope we beat them, and I hope the African guys pass the ball this time.
I need a pee.
And I didn't get spanked in soccer today.
I'm greatly looking foward to Revenge of the Sith, because AOTC is playing in the other room.
I wish my computer was capable of playing World of Warcraft. :( Ah well, it won't be long before I can afford a better graphics card. On looking out of the window, I noticed it's incredibly gray and overcast: I really hope it rains today, even moreso that it storms.
World of Warcraft didn't appeal to me so much, I was much more content to stick with Final Fantasy XI.
I'm in the fourth quarter, now. but I'm not very happy about it. My first and only year with Jon was wasted by me being an emo kid. And then it wasn't wasted. Because I got to know a bit of him, instead of just admiring him from afar. I'm planning on writing him a note sometime near the end of school... just telling him some stuff. I'm not sure what exactly I'm going to put in it. I know I am going to thank him for somethings... apologise for others. And then what of the end of school? Academic-wise, this year hasn't been very fufilling, and I'm not too proud of myself for it. I've been extremely lazy just in general and I hate it. I have a feeling it's me still dragging from that bit of depression, but then I can't help think that maybe I'm just a stupid lazy girl? I don't know.
Final Fantasy annoys me, greatly. Oh, and I probably should start looking at random blogs.
So anyways, I just put my 52nd hour into FFX >_>
Generally sick of school, yet have two more months of it. I really wish I could be doing something more meaningful with my time.
I don't want a job, but I want to get money. Curses. While my grandma-ma is hospitalized, I don't have to worry about my parents badgering me about getting a job, but I think it'd be in my best interest to have one before she comes back home.
So Ms. McCann lost my **** AGAIN and I'm failing her class because of it AGAIN and I hate her! :mad:
And we're playing Slither by Velvet Revolver in the talent show tomorrow so yeah. :cool:
[quote]
And we're playing Slither by Velvet Revolver in the talent show tomorrow so yeah.
Haha. Awesome :cool:
I'm not really thinking about much, other than the fact that I'm bored and still tired. I had a pretty bad nightmare that I woke up from a little while ago. But I was a badass in the nightmare so yeah ;) But my mother got her throat stabbed and I got shot-up full of bullets, but I still took out the entire mafia all by myself. :)
Damn straight it's awesome.
Oh, and I hate the fact that I always have to stay in the school building till at least 5:00 every day since my mom teaches at the same school I go to (which sucks a bunch, even if she is teaching 7th instead of 8th). :(
I FINALLY HAVE THOSE ****ING BRACES OFF.
I wonder what Wayne Gretzky looks like naked.
I'm sick. I got to go home early today but my stomach really hurts. :(
I don't want to go to college tonight but I have to because I can't afford to miss another class.
I really wish I didn't have to see and hear the word "awesome" five thousand times a day.
There's only two weeks of my spring semester left, and I have quite a few projects to accomplish by the last day. I am finally feeling as if I can manage it all, though. Then the summer semester starts three days after that, and I'll be going to school five hours a day, five days a week until the 9th of June. I am looking forward to taking an online class in psychology and a course in composing, arranging, and remixing music on the PC.
I don't what I'm going to do with my 2 sisters and my father heading out over to Nigeria for a month. It's a bit unsettling because my little sister is going to be bored, meaning she'll be up at me while I'm trying to play a game, do homework, or anything, really. She gets so bored it's annoying, but then when you excite her, she begins to act obnoxious-- touching every little thing to try and get a reaction out of you untill she hurts herself, or almost breaks something. If I am lucky, she will start play by herself (i.e. pretending she's a doctor something best done on another floor of the house). I'm not sure what me and my brother are going to do with her half the time...
Not only that, but I have to go to the dentist halfway into may. I'm no exactly oriented with the downtown area of Winnipeg in which to go there, especially since my father would always drive me there. I think I have to take a bus, but I'm not sure where the place is myself. Plus an aptitude test 4 days later with the throbbing pain... eugh. May is gonna be one tough month.
Well yesterday, I got called "a smelly hooker who hangs out with pirates."
I want to play the Sims right now but if I play it on my pc it freezes my pc (never use to do that). I could play it on the ps2 but the person who owns the ps2 is not home to ask and I dont want to waste money txting her just to ask, hopefully she will be home soon. I guess I should do my school assignments but I can't be assed doing that either, although I've have to do it over the long weekend comming up. I need to write in my blog later but for now I guess I'll just do a bit more surfing on the net then either read a book outside or go laydown & read a book. Wish I had the money to hire some decent DVD's out.
I have this twingy pain in my right temple. I'm too drowsy to be awake. Hands look strage in the light in this room.
Tomorrow I have to assimilate images that reflect me together. I've chosen some of my personal favourite works, a few photographs, and some really ****ed up creations of my most inner lack of workings. It's going to be fun. I also plan to waste all of the colour toner in the printer because I want to print some lovely things tomorrow. Indeed.
I concur.
I fell on my ankle this morning and sprained it. It seemed fine at first, but by the time the sun began to set, I couldn't even walk anymore. My mother wants to pull me out of school tomorrow to see the doctor, to which I have no complaints.
Well what I have on my mind is what to post on whats on my mind..
I'm thinking about really old threads that could be deleted or something.
Sometihng smells in here. [thread]
@ Phlynthe: Why should they be deleted?
Oh yes, I'm also wondering why did he bump with topic.
Some of the old topics end up being forgotten but still are needed, meethinks.
I'm going to punch your balls off.
Then I'll shove them in Your mouth.
"Can't wait for the Silent Hill movie"
"I have stuff on my mind but I don't really feel like saying it"
"Jesus, The Wild was a ripoff of Madagascar"
"And A Bug's Life was a ripoff of Antz... Or maybe it's the other way around; I forget which came first."
"Lol, and Shark Tale is a ripoff of Finding Nemo. DREAMWORKS IS A RIPOFF OF PIXAR, **** IT."
"They're like Pepsi and Coke, 'cept not with cola."
"I could have a good night and put off my homework until tomorrow morning, but by tomorrow morning when I'm stuck with all the homework I put off, I'll wish I could go back in time and punch myself in the face for putting it off, but since I know that such a thing would be impossible, I can safely put it off without having to worry about my future self coming back in time a few hours just to punch him/my/ourself in the face."
"Where could it be?"
I lost something very precious to me and sadly irreplaceable. :(
"Your Virginity?"
Lol just kidding.
"Man, I really do have gay smooth skin."
"how else can I kill-off this story chracter?" and "****, I am in serious trouble."
"I made a neat sprite of the Wii controller a few days ago, and now I can't ****ing find it!"
Way, way too much stuff. I'll say that I'm very much enjoying War Of The Worlds, though, and that the start of Red Weed 1 is beautiful. It's chilling.
"Klarth needs more signatures with the N64 kid"
I cant tell whether I'm hungry or not.
"I wonder if Shadow Elf still hangs out with her scary friend?" :(
Dang! I just got this really wier cold wave...
"I wonder if Jesse had to put up with this **** in the RPG Inferno."
Reference to the fact that I've spent that last 5 hours of game time fighting identical enemies to beat one incredibly tough boss.
I still hate black people.
"Gah! Ice skates make your feet hurt ;_;"
I'm ****ing hungry, and I want to fight something. Also, I want rum. Sweet, delicuous rum. Preferably before I fight whatever it is I want to fight.
"Hot cakes taste good with soda."
"I hope the snakes win this time!"
Falling in love with a close friend...
Oh *** I have VGcats fever....
On another note, Kupo
i ****in hate halo
"It seems to me that everyone else I meet with the name Ian is a funny, intelligent individual."
Yeah, but maybe consider that your location has something to do with it? ;)
"You know Ian, you've been up all f*cking night. You really should get to bed."
how come the xbox 360 is white when all the other systems are black
"I should name my kid Ian."
" i should KILL everybody named ian"
"Where is my mind? Where is my mind? Whhhhhere issss myyyyy minddddd? Way out in the water, see it swimming."
"Why do so many people have VGCats comics in their sigs and avys? What are they, racist? It's not like I see anyone with VGDogs, dang it."
"Portobello mushroom pizza makes for an absolute oral orgasm. My god."
"How come nobody ever gets my jokes? I mean, take the stereotype thread for example. STEREO-TYPES. TYPES OF STEREOS. HA HA FUNNY. But no, all my sad attempts at funny are completely ignored. Maybe I'm just paranoid, and people actually think I'm serious. Maybe I'm losing it... hey, what does this post quick reply button do?"
[quote=GameMiestro]hey, what does this post quick reply button do?"
"YOU SPOT A LARGE GRUE. YOU RUN EVEN WITH THE KNOWLEDGE THAT THERE IS NO ESCAPING A GRUE. YOU GET EATEN BY A GRUE."
Aside from that, the thing that's caught my mind right now is that my mother says she's going to bring my grandmother home so she can die here.
Not a clue when she will, but apparently it's soon. :(
"Hey, Stalolin didn't put quotation marks around his response. So maybe I can counter him with a technicality. I wonder where he got the name Stalolin from. Hmm... maybe he just took Stalin and stuck lol in it... by george, I think i've got it!"
" i wonder how the tv always knows what im thinking"
"Oh man. Miestro knows where it's at. And what my name is made of."
"LA LA LA I'm bored"
" holy **** those kfc mashed potato bowl things are good... so much better then sex"
"...wonders if juliebriggs has ever had sex..."
"Maybe I should by some KFC mashed potatoes..."
-rubs face- "I should really consider shaving today"
Say you love the cock! Do it!
Say it, say you love the cock!
"****, I hate when people make huge spaces in their post like that."
"ufc should have never changed"
"sh[COLOR="White"]it[/COLOR] I left my english homework at school."
I been thinking a lot about tomorrows and Friday's exams, I can't wait any longer to get school over with this year.
I've been thinking ALOT about my Quebec trip on June 6th.
" 3 more days til my new laptop gets delivered. yay!"
"Sony's ghey."
"Gay people are ****ing homos. Fags on the other hand, are gay."
All white people look the same
i just got 15 bucks because i'm sexy
All black people look the same
every 33 minutes somone dies from smoking in canada.
All asians look the same
beaners wear pointy boots so they can fit their shoes through the holes of the fence easier.
All hispanic people look the same
I'll rip your lungs right out of your ass.
"why are new laptops such a pain in the butt"
"I want to go dori-dori but lo, I have front wheel drive"
Detective Conan has to be one of the best animes I have ever watched.
"Hah, I bet that's the lesbian I see slapping girl's *sses at my school all the time."
"Gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay."
tired
Now im feeling more tired////////need red bull
When I was born/ It was sworn/ I was never gon' be ****/ Had to pull the opposite out this *****/ Had to get my ri-ide on/
Hmm... I'm hungry. I'll eat when I find the time.
Almost got all the hearts on Majora's Mask. Now I just have to do the ****ing Anju and Kafei quest. You spend more time waiting for the right time to do something than actually doing anything...
I wonder what episode of Aeon Flux will be on tonight... Probably one I've already seen it. After all these years they've decided to re-air it? Likely 'cause the movie came out a while ago.
You know, the post is really starting to look like a blog. Man. Maybe I should get a MySpace account and go emo. Then I'll cut my wrists, wear all black, and drink coffee. It'll be awesome... nah.
Red Bull's are extremely small and pathetic. Probably because if you drink to much your taste buds commit suicide. I'm trying to explain this to my mom, and that's why I always get Full Throttles. I just can't seem to convert her though.
In fact, the only thing Red Bulls are good for are Jaeger Bombs. Mmm...
"SH+T... I'm about to try and transfer $120 from an account only holding $45... maybe too late to cancel?"
Seriously, I never checked before I set that up. I hope I don't enter the negatives...
I wonder what would happen if you strapped a jetpack to a chicken?
I think this picture sums up my feelings as of now quite nicely:
true Dat...I guess.
True dat!
I wish I was a mutant... I wonder what it's like to fly.
Maps take forever to dl in CS argh. I need to start playing roms again.
the maps in Halo 2 get somewhat boring after awhile.
CS is overrated...
Exams are tomorow. I hope I don't fail. I can't wait to throw that cottage cheese balloon at my English teacher.
I should've thrown a cottage cheese balloon at my English teacher. Dumb ***** accused me of plagarism because I appearantly had to cite my sources THRICE! I got half credit on this biggest paper of the year. THAT PISISES ME OF SO MUCH! A:KFJADK:FJDS:KJFSDGDSGPIU!
[quote=Paper Mario]What's all this Hubbub about?
.
I wish I could turn back time. I miss you. A lot. It seems like everytime I feel better, you come back. I wish you'd believe me. I wish you'd see.
Whats on my mind. Right now, as soon as im done posting this, im going to take a shower. Running 3 miles in 85 degree/75% humidity weather at midnight is next to no fun. Im profusely sweating all over and...yep, a shower is in order.
What an amazing night. I didn't think we could do it. I'm glad we made it though. What a great weak. I wish I wasn't still catching feelings. Well, I dunno. Should I should I not? Ahhh c'est la vie.
Im thinking if there are any good looking chicks here on vgc. I highly doubt it.
im sick of night flying.
Why am I catching feelings. I shouldn't be thinking of you. Why is this resurfacing. I thought I was doing so much better. I hate this feeling. I miss having someone to talk to late at night on the phone, and hear their voice, and fall asleep to. I miss a lot.
vagina
60% of that 60% are just lying about being female.
I love those you-tube people who make their own original acoustic songs. Some of them are really nice sounding. Ahh sometimes a melody can just make you all nostalgic and good feeling inside.
Why are you trying to be friends. I don't know if I can handle that, but I can't handle you leaving either. ****.
i really need to get a more comfortable chair.
I want to go do something, but I feel like waiting around the phone. But then again, that's retarded. I should go buy a box of twinkies, or play some rpg all night.
JEEPERS I wish a close friend was online.
Tomorrow should be awesome in a totally legal and not bad at all way.
edit: GRRRRAAARRGHHHH this is the 3rd day in a row I've forgotten to put the sheep in.
Hmm...I wonder what Mr. Miyamoto is up to these days....
ASFJKFNBIKJTLF,CXZ M AHHHHHHHH
I SWEAR, how the hell could I not guard myself and see this coming. What the hell happened to my sense of defense. Ahhhaposlkjhfdf it's like everything I know has been questioned. What's right what's wrong. Old me new me WHAT me. ****. Who AM I anymore?
retainers suck
Why the hell am I on the internets and not asleep?
I can't believe I just filled up a 240 gig hard drive
I have work in 7 hours and I've been up for 34.... life sucks. :(
"Sometimes I swear I could spend all night looking at beautiful, bizarre psychedelic art while simultaneously listening to music that has that same quality. Music and art are two of the things I value the most in my life... I don't know what I'd do without them. ...okay, I do know that music IS an art, but I couldn't think of a better way to rephrase the previous sentence.
And ahh, there's nothing quite like the satisfaction that comes with burning a new CD for yourself, a loved one, or a good friend. As far as I'm concerned, it's always something to look forward to."
I wish my parents would stay out of town for a bit longer, maybe another week.
I hope I can get those 100-odd viruses off my computer...
I wish I had found that clean keygen just a few minutes earlier.
I'm losing my love for cats very quickly.
I just had too much to eat and now I am feeling sick.
I was just insulted by a very religious man. Weird.....
My mom bought me condoms.....
I bought 3 video games at EBgames yesterday, and they only charged me for two. I got BLACK for free.
I want to start thinking a lot more. Just stop for some time, and lie in bed face the ceiling and think. Also, I want to look out the window more. I'm always occupied with something, I don't have time to just think. I miss my imagination, it seems like it's been hiding lately. I hope you come back imagination.
I'm starting work tomorrow. Ugh, I hope I have fun. Gotta study now, think about colleges, so much stress. Let's see how things go. Here's to my last night, as an unemployed kid.
I haven't had much time to think, because I'm seemingly always working. I put in 20 hours this weekend alone, but... I don't object to making $120 for 8 hours of work on Sunday. However, after five more days of work this week, I do get next weekend off, and that's when I'm going to hit some mountains by day and some beaches by night just to get back in touch with nature and my feral side.
It's nice to sit here and just think.
I'm thinking about my friends, and how much they mean to me. Most notably my best friend, Maegan. I owe her more than she believes. More than anyone knows.
:)
It is a good time to think right now indeed.
Edit: In all honesty, it feels like I'm rolling right now too. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's nostalgia. But no matter the cause, it really does.
yeah sorry raptor i was talking about the blowjobg thing sorry didn't pay attention that it was a sig
**** im a dumb ***
"Man, that chaser3592 sure is a dumb ****.
...and that's a beautiful sunrise outside. Too bad that the nice, calm feeling of early morning will give way to crowds, cars, planes flying overhead, and blinding sunshine. Just like every other ****ing day. I can't wait for winter."
So I hear you like me, but you have a bad rep, I mean you ARE kind of slutty. I like talking to you, but I dunno I don't want to do anything, but I feel lust, but I don't want to get wrapped up. I think I should stay away.
Who would **** klarth? Most likely if there was money involved and heavy amounts of alcohol has been consumed prior to the event
too much ice cream, bathing suits, boner, lil spoon
help me jesus
and thank god for cock.
I have a feeling that you're doing really well, especially in terms of guys. Well, I really gotta resist this other chick, she has a bad rep, and I know it's for a reason. I'll just be friends with her. Hopefully I can meet a lot of new people for the rest of the summer. I love to make new friends. I feel kind of sad tonight, I don't know why. I like this music I'm hearing from "The Spill Canvas". Good stuff to me.
I need to get back on a regular sleeping schedule. That and I realized im impatient with lvling on KO.
I was watching a random pack of stuff I downloaded from the History Channel [I want to get back just to watch those shows], among them was one about the samurai and how they are romanticized, it just came up in my mind how much I romanticize the American Wild West, Colonial Era, 1920s [yes, I know there is something romantic about the Valentine Massacre]. Though I was raised in a culture so different from the typical American household, I seem to love the nation's past moreso than the inhabitants there. :-[
Man, tonight's been weird. All of a sudden you IM me, after I try to rid myself of you from my AIM and such. Oh well. My boy had an amazing talk with me today.
He reminded me, in order to survive, gotta learn to live with regrets. He told me to read Siddhartha, I think I will. Looks interesting. I definitely wanna watch a movie tonight, but damn I have work tomorrow. Maybe I'll try to watch one.
That's your fault, how many times you forgiven me?/
How was I to know that you was plain sick of me?/
I know the way a nigga livin was whack/
But you don't get a nigga back like that!/
**** I'm a man with pride, you don't do **** like that/
You don't just pick up and leave and leave me sick like that/
You don't throw away what we had, just like that/
I was just ****in them girls, I was gon' get right back/
They say you can't turn a bad girl good/
But once a good girl's goin bad, she's gone forever../
I'll mourn forever/
**** I gotta live with the fact I did you wrong forever/
stuck in my head for some reason.
Huh, are you Hispanic or something? I usually don't see Caucasian people use the term boys much, at least in this area. Mainly Asians, etc.
Oh yea, I know what it means - just asking.
Anyways, I thinking about how I need to pee. brb!
" S[SIZE="2"]h[/SIZE]it, man. Last night was great. "
" I kinda smell. "
" 'Brina's got great tits. "
" I should shower. "
" Awesome. I get paid tommorow. I bet I won't even break $100. I need to get a handle. I get to see 'Brina tommorow. "
" I'm pretty thirsty. I gots no KOOL-AID,yo. "
" These boxers smell horrible. "
yea so those are recurring thoughts in my head in the past hour.
I remember when I took Communication Studies 1A, I named my speech team, "YummyDrumsticks" [my AIM sn]. and my professor, who is female, fyi, said, "You know, you can take that in a different way."
The class fell silent. [/truestory]
****fukfuvfkuvfvkufvhsk;afaw;i;lfdmoiclmcoia;lkdmc'xpoj****
IM ABOUt TO LOOSE IT
****ing NO
NO
NO
***
****
****it
I installed a nice subwoofer in my car, and it feels like I'm truly enjoying some of my music for the very first time. Besides giving me much more bass than I need, it really fills out the sound and does my hard music justice. I'm definitely looking forward to rolling down to the beach (maybe it will even be as beautiful and rainy there as it is here) while checking out all these new CD's I received.
Finally got Final Fantasy VIII running near-perfectly on my Xbox, so I'll probably be playing through it for a few hours later tonight. In the meantime, I'm wondering when Paypal is going to start working again.
Why must everything always go wrong? Oh, great, my sister's friends are here- how I just adore the little wretches. When is Chelsey going to get home?
I feel a little better. I can't let you out of my life. You taught me a good lesson last night. Detach. Hopefully we can be good friends. Time to stop living in a fairytale kid. Come on man, grow up. You matured so quickly when you were a kid, and now you get distraught over this? You've been thorugh everything and love is the thing to break you? You're stronger than this. Stay up.
Hey, my friend just finished playing a game called Turok, and he said it was pretty cool. He said it was a 7/10. Have any of you ever played it before? I want to know before engaging in a ****ty game. Also, how can I post pictures, and what are avatars?
Whats on my mind...
Work.. I work everyday this week...
My Ex GF Kali because she's supposed to see me Weds..
Getting my car inspected
College Football
Yeaa..
I did it again. I don't liek to drink because I feel that I shouldn't be oding it, i just feel bad afterwards. i dont want to anymore i dontkn ow i just dn'ot like it, i mean i did it, i thin kafter summer's over no more. i hope i fin da nice girl soon. i never used to drink,. i think just becuase of the summr and everything i started but no more. i do it once every twp weeks or so, but i don't like it. no more. i think i'll say w/e ajpaens happens this summer, but after that no more.
Before I begin spewing my incoherent bullshit all over this thread again, I would like to say that Kamek is NOT, in fact, stupid. Just clearing that up.
"Huh, I just got back from having to walk on sharp rocks with my bare feet and hardly noticed a thing. I guess that's what sleep deprivation does to me; makes me feel like I can take on [URL="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v283/Retro_Ratchet/1150332754296.jpg"]THE WORLD[/URL]. How long has it been now? 30 hours? 35 hours? And sleep, you say? What the hell is this sleep that you speak of? Enlighten me... whoever you are. And you know what I really wish I had right now? A nailfile. ****it.
And now I have the song from the first level of Castlevania II stuck in my head. Better go listen to it before it really starts to annoy me. And on the plus side, we're all out of drinks WOOOOHOOOOOOO
...yeah. I don't feel like I'm making sense. har"
Waking up sucks nows. Whenever I do i always feel like **** for atleast an hour.
Get your composure kid.
I've got "Piano Lessons" by Porcupine Tree in my head, and I can't get it out for the LIFE OF ME. I'd have to say it has probably the catchiest bass line ever.
So it's not exactly a pressing issue on my brain or anything, but I'm planning on whipping something interesting together for lunch today... Namely [url=http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/ec/Egginabasket.jpg]this[/url], because eggs plus toast equals ****ing tasty.
Oh, and if anyone can guess the source of the image, they win cookies. :D
She right cliked properties to get that.
And I'm not sure what's on my mind right now. :(
Right now, all that is going through my head is the lyrics to the song on my media player:
"I'm going down in flames, I'm diving into this again; I'm going down in flames..."
**Edit
Woops. Yeah, I guess missed that... *Walks away*
[COLOR="Black"]"School starts soon... eh. That new girl is fukken' mine. Hohohoh, if not I'll get some random hawt loli. And kill that fat loli."[/COLOR]
School starts not very soon and all the women hate me. Well, except for the ones I'm actually friends with, but they think I'm asexual or gay. :( I only ever find action at parties or outside of term anyway.
Clerks II had better be good. :mad:
I also really, really want to do something, but I'm not sure what. :(
Right now, I am thinking about how much I actually hate my sister and the fag lives in my house refered to as my dad, and how much I want them to die.
I hate the fact that I am hated, for being who I want to be. Just because I am different from everyone else, does not mean that I should be shunned. The people in my town hate anything that is different, or the opposite of normal. Shunned, or not, I plan to stay the same no matter what anyone says.
I know how that feels Sanaxis.
Going to get my new phone by the end of the week....and I have to pay my friend back 50 bucks because he bought me the DS Wi-Fi connecter and some other things. :(
John Mayer's "Love Song For No One" is really describing how I've been feeling of late. I'm really happy I'm working and getting money, but I can't WAIT for school to start. I really gotta start prepping for senior year, and getting college ish out of the way. I just want to meet new people. I'm tired of the same old faces, same old ideas, lack of imagination. I'm tired of it all. I can't wait to just break free, meet some new people. Have more adventure. I miss adventure. ****, bro , what happened to your sense of adventure. Why are you content just staying home and doing nothing now? We used to have so much fun.
i'm thinking about some wierd dream about giant lobsters taking over the world i had last night.
I just had one of the most pleasant experiences that I can recall at The Egyptian Tearoom, the favorite hookah bar of Freddy G and I. We had arrived earlier in the day when the place wasn't as crowded, but as twilight approached, more and more people started coming in. There had been quite a few times in the past where I'd just sit there with the hookah and a bottle of Honest Tea and not talk to anyone, but this time it was very different. The atmosphere was wonderful; cool, cloudy evening with the whole place lit up, people sipping their hot mochas and relaxing in their chairs with their laptops, or just striking up a friendly conversation with the person sitting next to them. For once, I was actually involved in this friendly chatter, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Brandon and I would just start conversations with all the other hookah hippies, talking about everything from our favorite flavors of hookah to our friend Phil's radio show. All the while enjoying the timeless chocolate-cherry extravaganza that is the Cairo hookah. (the premium hookahs are all named after things relating to ancient Egypt; Pharaoh, Luxor, Cleopatra, and so on. I really like that. The whole decor of the place is also great)
There was also an art exhibit, and a live band performing out on the deck. Their name was Squiddo, from what I recall; while their music was fairly catchy, it all sounded the same and wouldn't really be worth putting money into buying a CD. The one thing that stood out for me was the vocalist, a really sweet German girl that had a beautiful voice. I complimented her after they were done playing, and she was very nice about it. The other band members were assholes though, and just frowned when we waved to them on our way out. :mad: Although maybe it was just because they thought they did a bad job on the performance. Whatever. Another notable highlight of the evening was a cream-Italian soda with raspberry and vanilla syrup mixed in. It was something you would've had to try, believe me. :D Absolutely DELISH!
A while later, after stopping by a 7-11 to pick up an energy drink and Brandon heading home, I was alone again. Now I'm just sitting here typing this, listening to music, and I can safely say that I feel... sad. I've had my fun, and now I just get to deal with the same old shit I do every night. The usual stuff that's gotten incredibly boring over the past few months. While some of it can still keep me entertained, I just really wish I had something to do around here. I miss the days where my friends Chris and Dan would randomly call me at 2 AM and ask if I wanted to go down to La Jolla Cliffs, or maybe even chill out at Denny's under the air conditioning over a Grand Slam, all the while making jokes and pulling pranks on Dan, who would always have trouble staying awake. Then we'd just sit back and relax in his car with his monster sound system, driving around various parts of the city with good tunes blasting. Good times. I sincerely hope that once college starts up again in September, those fun times will be had again.
I can't wait for autumn, and especially winter. This summer has been miserable thus far, with the heat and the humidity being close to unbearable. Living in a house without air conditioning doesn't really help, either! I really wish that I could get over my stupid obsession of having to spend money whenever I go out somewhere, and just enjoy the walk for what it is... a walk. Then again, it's not like you can go out and see anything new after you've done it a thousand times already, and with the summer comes excessive crowds of people, which makes you feel like you can't go anywhere at all to escape. Even the beach, which would normally be my place of refuge during the autumn and winter months, are packed with people and their bonfires at night, shouting at the top of their lungs with their 12 packs of Bud Light. Frankly, I'd be much more content shoving them into the fire! Then maybe the area would actually get some, oh I dunno... peace for once. And as I said before, I can't wait for autumn and winter. Tourists, kindly pack up your fucking bags and get the hell out of here. Take your fat, pasty white asses back to El Cojones and Miramaricón where they belong, you stupid motherfuckers. We won't miss you.
But on a positive note, I have my music, my games, my cat, my friends, my thoughts, and my sanity. I can make do with these things now, and I know things will improve tenfold in the coming months. I'll be in school, and soon enough I'll be getting my own source of transportation (a.k.a. a CAR! oh joy). And I must say that having an amazing and dare I say, killer meal at a great Thai restaurant before seeing a good movie makes my entire night. I've really been wanting to see "A Scanner Darkly" lately, and I might just do that tomorrow or the day after. I want to see movies that'll either make me think or laugh; not all the lame bullshit that's being spewed all over the place like "Little Man" and "You, Me, and Dupree." Fuck that shit, man. Fuhgeddaboutit.
The last two things I'll say will be that I'm not going to go back and correct any typos/grammatical flaws in this post. Hell, I'm pretty sure no one will really even bother reading the whole thing, anyway. TL;DR ROFLLLL :rolleyes:
And lastly, Kolo is one of the most unoriginal, bland, retarded dipshits I've ever seen on any forum. And believe me, that's saying a lot. Hell, you were better off as "xawmeyd00b" when you weren't so fucking lame and full of yourself. You try waaay too hard, kid; I suggest you either make a decent effort to shape up or just rid this place of your presence altogether. In fact, I'd prefer the latter, as would at least several other people. Just a friendly reminder. ^______^;;; Hell, as far as I'm concerned, the entire "Black Sun" crew can suck it, with maybe one or two exceptions.
Thank you, and good night.
I was bored enough and read through your post. For some reason I enjoyed it. Except for that part about "no one will read this lol" =(
And currently, after looking up Flowers for Algernon when I saw it in the Betterman thread in the anime board; I'm now determined to buy it and read it.
Or pirate it, but I can't stay entertained with a book unless I'm holding it.
After seeing them, I really do want to get married one day. Not the kind where you divorce soon after, but real love marriage that'll last.
On a side note, I HATE this ****ing ambient light. ****, the moon is amber tonight and this ambient light is killing my mood.
I AM THE CLIT COMMANDER!
I'm watching Jay and Silent Bob: Strike Back, at the moment, and it rules!
I need to get my permit. :(
Summer school is a bummer. That's top on my list. Also, when all your best friends are out of town together on a road trip and you're stuck at home doing homework... man it takes a lot to keep going strong.
Lately I've just been... existing... I don't really feel like my life has much meaning right now except as preparation for going to college. It'll be a lot of work, and I wish my parents would understand that even with all that work there can still be some FUN. I can still get out, I can still go do whatever the hell I feel like doing with my friends.
As long as they agree it's alright.
I need to find a way to cope for two more years doing this routine- making it through the day, the weeks, so that at night I can talk to who I really want to talk to, and when they leave town so I can do what really makes me feel like life is worth living. Things they'd call crazy- that going out to do whatever with friends at 2 in the morning stuff. Sitting outside in the middle of the night, just listening. Blasting music, making everything lively, fun. Not this monotony.
Time to return my PSP for another one...
Well, there are a lot of things on my mind at the moment, so lets get started, shall we?
First of all, I am getting sick and tired of my sister. She is 10 years old, and she is the laziest, most ignorant person I have ever had the displeasure of meeting. She yells about everything, cries until she gets what she wants. She is constantly eating. I understand that I am also overweight, but I realize that its not healthy, and I am trying to change. Anyway, she will sit on the couch watching TV and be like "mom! get me some water and popcorn!" or dinner will be done in like 5 minutes, and she'll be like "just gimme a little snack before dinner" stuff like that, ya know? Then she wont shut her big fucking mouth long enough for you to say anything to her. She thinks she is always right. I am so surprised that no one has kicked her ass yet! I am about an inch from doing so.
Next, my cousin Candice. She has been living with us during the summer while her mother is coming back from Lousiana to find a house here. She wasnt so bad at first. Someone to talk to. Then, she met my friends, and "fell in love" with one of them. Adam is his name. So now I gotta hear shit everyday about how she misses Adam and crap. I tell her to shut up, but she never does. Then she talks like a fucking three year old, because she thinks its funny. She uses words like "findle" for finger, "leah" instead of yeah, "aww, toot toot" for aw, thats cute. Stuff like that. It gets so tiring after a while. She is 14. Grow the fuck up. She eats all damn day too. Whenever I want to eat something, there is no food. She uses so much toilet paper when she goes, that when I gotta take a crap, I gotta wipe my ass with tissues. She complains about being overweight, then sits on her ass and eats and plays Nintendo DS. I ride my bike all the time during the day. Why dont she do that? Its healthier than freakin' Nindendo DS. Finally, she is always on MySpace. I mean, she will litterally sit on MySpace for 3 hours straight. There isnt that much to do on MySpace. I am on there for like 10 minutes at the most. If I am editing my profile, maybe 30 minutes at the most.
Next up is my mom. She isnt that bad. The only skinny one in the family. She is always complaining about being fat though, although she isnt. Now I understand that she goes to work three days a week, and she is tired, but everytime I ask something of her, she always has an excuse. I wanted her to take me to my friends house last week. She was too tired. I want her to take me to Ocean City tomorrow. She doesnt know how to get there. Now I know what some of you might be thinking: "why dont you drive? your 17" reason I wont drive: She wont let me get my permit because she is scared. Also, she wont let me get a job. She has anxienty attacks when I am gone from home for too long.
Next, my dad, if you could call him that. I dont consider him my father. He has never treated me like a son. I will be 18 in March. That makes me legally an adult. Not once did he take me to the park, a movie, anywhere that a father and son might go. Only time he ever talks to me is to critisize me or yell at me for something I did.
Next up, my uncle BJ. He still lives with his mom, going on 30 years old. He has a wife and two kids. They also live with his mom. They drive her nuts. She cant kick him out because he gets mail there. Its complicated. Anyway, she can evict him though. She just wont do it. I dunno why. He says he is saving money for a house. He doesnt have a job. He picks up junk off the street and takes it to the junk yard for money. Then the money he makes, he buys weed with it.
I guess thats about all. This is the longest damn post I have ever made. My fingers hurt like hell now. But hey, it felt good to get that all out.
Hey beautiful. How are you. Your eyes are really deep. I know they're brown, but they're really, I don't know. They're just entrancing. Your hair is long, it's really gorgeous. I love your sense of style, the clothes you wear everything. I just wish you weren't so conceited. I mean you are beautiful, but you don't have to act stuck up. Eh, you're leaving for college anyway, no matter.
What's going through my mind is basically, "ZOMG!"
I get to visit my brother, and if I can manage to get an instrument or two down there we'll spend our time recording, mixing, making sweet music. This will be an amazing retreat after a whole summer of homework and procrastination. I'll also get to longboard down there, which will be sweet. Maybe I can get kind of, you know, good at it.
Frick, it'll be so awesome. I just have to put an onomonopeioa type thing before every thought I have about it. Like, BAM visiting my bro. POW gonna mix some beats. SHAZAM mad saxaphone electronica coming your way.
****, work tommorrow for a **** week. **** **** ****, I still need to finish off some things at home. I dont even want to ****ing work, just stay at home. SIGH :(
[COLOR="Cyan"]Kiss Of The Dragon, the movie came on TV tonight. I remember watching this movie before on DVD hired some years ago from the video shop. Jet Li is a small man with lightning speed reflexes. Action speaks louder than words. Jet Li doesn't say much or waste time with long talk, but he can dodge a bullet a couple of feet away. The villains suddenly become clear - that 'I know that bad guy that tried to kill him' action scenes appear frequently in the movie. A Chinese James Bond with Bruce Lee martial arts skill but without the high tech gadgets. If he did have these extra life-saving gadgets then it would thrill fans even more.
When the movie finished, my brother put a CD-RW in the dvd player, not yet in the cinema, a pirated movie called ULTRAVIOLET - another Wonder Woman comic heroine. The CD images was freezing on and off. My old dvd player doesn't play CD- or DVD- RWs. My brother removed the CD and decided to play it in his DELL home computer. [/COLOR]
Oasis is an amazing band.
As I sit here, reading this passage I wrote for a friend I can't help but smile. Not just a simple smile, I mean one of those Kool-Aid smiles. I can't stop it. In here is all the advice I should have taken myself. I can't believe I used to write like this. Wow. What happened I used to be such a nice writer. But this advice, this advice :) hahaha. Oh man, I guess no matter how much one can be empathetic, you never know what it's like until it truly hits you. I wrote such good advice, and it would have helped, but I'm sure at the time my friend was going through hurt then. Wow this just makes me :).
The coolest sound ever is produced by putting the bottom of an empty Snapple glass up against your ear and pushing on the safety button.
"Oh man, ohh ****ing man. That loli fell for me. SHES SO FUKKEN CUTE. Hohoh un beso para mañana I think... eh? Yeah, thats a must. lol at Nexidala's edit."
Most recent thoughts.
"******* i want my computer to get hooked up."
"******* i want my uncle to get me the patch for Guilty Gear X2 #Reload."
"******* i have to go to my new school and set my class schedule up tonight."
"******* i need to take a shower."
"******* i should post in that 'what's on your mind' thread."
Killing Bill Nye, the science guy. Bill Nye shall die. That's what is on my mind.
Nothing is on my mind. Why should it be.
Oh yeah, actually taking the time to think about things is overrated, man. Why do people even bother?
"I just put clean sheets on my bed, I'm wearing some nice, brand new clothes, there's a steady ocean breeze blowing in through the window, my cat is snuggled up on my desk right next to me, and I have a glass of fresh pineapple juice. Heh, summer is actually treating me well for once."
*plays elevator music in head*
Ugghhh I am so tired. Though I solved my migraine problem by eating - I just realize I completely forgot to do it. :(
I wish i was a majestic unicorn, flowing in the wind.
"Eh, loli or make-out. I haven't made out in a fukken while... but **** it, if I do that-that loli will get jealous or something. Meh, I'll go with making out this time. You can't have a serious relationship in the teenage years so meh, making out for fun is the better option."
I have just had, quite possibly one of the greatest days I've ever had in a summer ever. The thing is, it's so bitter sweet. I know things might not ever be again, but just being there, and then the moment that thing happened, the moment we kissed, the rain began to fall hard. There we were in the rain. The beautiful falling rain, caught in a thunderstorm. Lightning strikes everywhere. Only us. Only, ****ing, us. As the rain began to fall I could only think ****. What a beautiful feeling, what a beautiful night. I can't get attached. Why? Because it's not mine. It's funny, because she said you're someone elses now. Who am I's? It's so sad so bittersweet, yet so fairytale. I wont forget this day. Only with her. I don't think experiences like this will ever be duplicated. We have something special. Too bad she doesn't remember that.
When I woke up today I was happy about something that was going to happen today. I must have had a good dream, although I don't remember it.
FURRYKITTENSMEWMEWMEWMEW
School starts on Wednesday. Holy ****.....Ugh. Wonder who I'll meet. Going to a new school so I don't know anyone.....
The trick is, kick someone's *** the first day, or become someone's *****. Then everything will be all right.
Nah, I plan on making a good impression and letting people come to me....Plus, I'm sure they'll have a crappy "Getting to know people" type class period, so that'll be another chance to meet people.
Though, even though I'm not one, I'm guessing there are going to be a lot of geeks in my Homeroom because of the advanced classes I'm taking. It's hard stuff.
haha, my school starts on the 22nd! I need to go hunt down people like dog before school starts.
Good, I dont want to go to work so **** fast lol. :D
****. Today was another great day of summer. I got some inspiration. Then I come home to this? I just feel like crying. ****, I see he's back from his month long vacation. We were best friends again for so long, but I know she'll go right back to him because it seems like he's replaced me as her best friend. I wasn't attached at all for the longest, and now she's gonna, I know it. She misses him already. ****. I really let my guard down yesterday. I bet she didn't give it a second thought. Man ****. Then I come home to this? First her now this? I haven't come home to this in years. Come on kid, keep your composure. Use your instinct, and trust yourself. You'll get through anything.
I'm going to co-host a game show tomorrow. That should be interesting. Also in the process of restoring my old website, since I miss it and haven't felt like constructing a new one from scratch.
Need to talk, and do some work. Like mafia work but legal yet harder.
I am kind of hungry and am wondering what I am going to have for breakfast or lunch since it is already noon and I just woke up.
I'm bored. I want to meet new people on the first day of school and I can't wait. :D
Wow, I met my boy's girl and she is gorgeous and sweet. I think there are others like her out there, and I'm definitely gonna find me one. I gotta stop worrying so much, things will fall into place once more like they did before I hope. We'll see how it goes. I know what me and her had was amazingly magical, I mean so story book and movie like even when we aren't together, which is reall amazing. I know people who search their whole lives for that. I'll have to just work extra hard to get it.
On a side note, "How could you" by Mario, has a hot video. I love the kiss on the cheek he gives her at the end, leaving her with the bracelet.
I gotta stop worrying.
I'm in Hilo right now, enjoying a splendid evening of chirping frogs and pouring rain. Evening wanders in this town are always the best as far as tripping around urbanised areas go. There are so many creepy abandoned buildings to be intrigued by, not to mention the nice, cool nighttime temperatures and perpetually damp weather. I photographed and facilitated a successful event at the cultural centre yesterday and will get paid for it, though I mostly did it for the enjoyment factor. We like our chances of perhaps getting a spot on local cable access (wayne's world rotflol). Tomorrow, there's a chance I may have my name and/or picture in the paper, but either way, we're going out for sushi.
I've been in bed for two days with gallstones. The area around the right side of my pelvis hurts like hell, and whenever I move it gets even worse. I haven't eaten in two days, and I have absolutely no appetite - All I can do now is drink a lot of orange/grapefruit/other citrus fruit juice, and hope to flush the things out. I'm hoping I'm feeling slightly better tomorrow so I can go to the bank and sort out my bloody Livecash card...
Life really is a series of ups and downs.
Sometimes you're riding the high of a happy time in life, the next things go down. I guess who you are as a person depends on how you handle those things.
I miss videogames. It seems like I've lost interest in them so much. There hasn't been anything to catch my eye in ages, since Kingdom Hearts II a while back, and before that I can't even remember. Even that felt a bit unfulfilling. I'm looking forward to Okami, the art direction is so sexy. Hopefully the Wii will restore some fun back into gaming. Nothing seems to be fun these days.
Wow I just got kind of an adreanaline rush. I dunno what it was. I think I was thinking about the fact that I want to go to the city a lot more. Even if my friends don't want to go, I think I'll just walk around by myslef. I want to do some soul searching the rest of this summer. Maybe I'll sit on the steps of the Met, and make some friends. I just feel like being there. Being free. Summer's almost over. Freedom will go soon. I'm going to miss it.
I need some new music. I've been dying for some new music. Something melodic. I'm not one to care about what's cool in the online scene or not, just whatever makes me feel something or sounds good.
If you guys wanna PM me what you're listening to that would be cool.
I want to take more pictures. I want to be successful. I want the night to last forever. What the hell happened to nights. Why are they so short. I remember they used to feel so long. Now it's like what the heck? I blink and it's morning. Oh well.
Better get some sleep soon. Work tomorrow.
Argh. Reading posts like Raptor's up there make me feel willing to kill to get out of here and be on my own. Sure, I don't want it to happen all of a sudden, but I want to see at least a little progress toward independence, not to mention moving out of here. My parents give me some freedoms, I abuse them to further my own happiness out of desperation(I'm getting more selfish I know it) and so I can actually feel like I'm experiencing life, but they never find out. This makes me wonder why it feels like they are clamping down on me. The things I do are not wrong or bad in any way, just what other people around here take for granted and have free access to without a stressful talk with the parents first. Ah, as soon as finals are over this week, then I'll be able to do everything... except for what I want to do most. I really ****ing need to find a way to say to him, "Hey Dad... you know that girl, the one who above all others you do not want me to have anything to do with? Yeah, we're going out tonight. I'll be back by eleven."
FUCK THE CONSEQUENCES amirite? All about the now, and this isn't actually going to hurt my "later" unless my parents make such a flaming big deal about it that they literally take away all my freedom until graduation(which is perfectly expectable).
Except it's foolish to think it's all about right now, and the right thing to do is to forget and move on. Hahaha oh yeah I forgot, I can't for some reason! Probably because our relationship never really fails, it just gets pressured into submission for certain periods of time by parents or other friends. If everyone would just chill about it, I'd be a much happier and more satisfied man.
So I was in downtown earlier today, hanging out in front of Bear's Coffee for awhile, gazing over the Sunday classifieds while having my mp3 player on shuffle mode and enjoying an overcast and breezy day. When I went back into the cafe to get another peach-mango iced tea, the server (whom I hadn't seen before) pointed to the wolf talisman I was wearing and said, "now that's an animal I wish more people could appreciate the beauty of."
***, I love this town.
Brotha be talkin about him hangin wit his home boy and his home boy's lady friend. Yaeh, fo sho!
Meh, i like saying things like that sometimes.
whats on my mind- is anyone planning on deleting that twenty questions thread :s
Found a new energy drink in Longs Drugs yesterday... that's always fun. It's called Coolah, and it has such a pleasant tangy lemon flavour. Kind of like carbonated lemonade. Very smooth drinking and very refreshing, especially on a hot day. And did I ever get a kick from it, too.
I'm looking very forward to that camping trip this coming weekend... getting away from everything for a few days and letting myself go as I get lost in nature.
I've been looking around for new energy drinks, but considering my current health it's not a great idea right now... I'm debating on whether I should try the new Sprite one, but I'm also looking around for somewhere I can order different stuffs online. Corrupt was telling me awhile back that Steven Seagal now has his own brand of beverage, which should be fun to order a case of just for kitsch value.
In conclusion: Energy drinks rock. Hard.
fukola cola. i believe that's how it was spelled, anyway. This stuff is like the chuck norris of energy drinks....supposedly. least thats what i heard.
It's overrated and deluded script kiddies who think they're cool won't shut up about it?
Deep in my heart, I do believe that we will never talk after this night. I think that was it. That was the nail in the coffin. That was the final closure. That was it. It was over. Why? Because I can't be perfect. I can't be Superman. I can't control human nature. I can't believe she is so ****ing stubborn and blind. You'll never find another me? No ****. You'll also never find another me.
I loved your innocence. I loved your youth. You really need to grow up. You REALLY ****ing do.
I feel so bad. I feel like I'm the old me. I can't do this. I feel like the old me. The me all my boys want me to be, but the me I'm not anymore. I can't do this. Then i'll let them down. I'll lose their respect. No, I have to be true to me, I don't care what they think. They'll support me regardless.
**** this. A lot was your fault kid, but a lot was hers too. Let her think what she has to. She's done a great job of convincing herself of what the truth is. The truth. The truth. What an abstract concept. There is no such thing as the truth. There really isn't.
I let my guard down way too much. I really did. She has the upper hand. I just shouldn't care anymore.
But I do. And I will. And I don't know how long for.
Glad I learned a lot though. I really, truly am.
That was actually a very pleasant trip home. We had a very deep discussion on things before I made my leave, and that left me in very good spirits. Left my friend's apartment around 11, got here about 12:40 am. Listened to [i]History of Eurotrance Disc 4. What a superb musical assemblage, and it sounded so incredible on the road. I also had a bottle of ITO EN blueberry green tea with me. Delicious. I have a few tasks and projects to tackle tomorrow, but for now, I'm just chilling out and unwinding in preparation for a good night's sleep.
I had WMP on shuffle, and I didn't realize my speakers weren't on and I turn it on, and it's a Blink 182 song.
"Look to the past and remember her smile/
And maybe tonight I can breathe for a while/"
I like that line.
My friend sent me an MP3 of the opening theme of the old Sonic the Hedgehog show (the one based on the comics). I haven't heard it in 12 years and now it's stuck in my head!
I can't wait till I stop working this week. I need to have the most amazing end of summer ever.
Fuc[COLOR="White"]k[/COLOR] yea. I've been up for days and I've partied every night except tonight. I wish I had something to munch on. I need to listned to new music. Maybe I'll go to sleep. Sleep it is.
Football in the street is crazy tiring.
I'm furious out of worry.
I have this immense hatred for doctors. I don't trust them.... at all. My best friend had to visit said doctors for surgery today. She promised me she'd call after the surgery. Or at least have Matt and Alex call.
My phone has remained silent all day.
I hope nothing happened to her.
Softball try-outs next week for school. I went to go practice a bit with my cousin today, and I'm sure I have nothing to worry about. :D Seriously, how many girls are good enough to be first basemen, 4th batter (clean-up) in a travel team? Ha, I wanna see all the little diva's at my school try out! "OMG! The ball is coming at me! *shriek* what do I do?!?!" hehehe.....
Hmm.. not a whole lot right now. Basically, I am wondering why my sister is still not in bed.. thats about it.. oh, and my awesome kelly green pants in my room.. and my black and pink shoes.. and when the guy said "when the fuck did we get ice cream?!" on The Ringer.
Did you get the inverted colors Panic? The green on black?
Not yet. They are too much money at the moment. I gotta wait until I get a job and I can afford them.
I wonder why the money in Kingdom Hearts is called Munny?
i wonder why red wonders why in KH money is called munny.
I'm wondering when my Paypal account is going to be unlocked so I can finally order my makeshift DS devkit.
Well resently I went out and bought a PS2 Slim, but my parents were completly against me getting a new game system. So they grounded me from TV, video games, and computer (My dad stepped out of the house for a moment) for I don't know how long. The thing that ****es me off was that I bought it with my own money that i WORKED for, and on top of that they returned the PS2.
I sympathise. Hell, you're not much younger than I am, and since I was thirteen or so I've been just about completely independent from my mum, both physically and as far as rules etc go - Nowadays I do as I please, and my mother has no problems with what I do (hell, she's even said I can drop out of school and drink myself to death if I preferred, which perturbed me somewhat). I'd only be able to understand them if you already owned a PS2, in which case it was a little silly. I vote that you call bull**** on this one.
As for what's on my mind... The plastic fan grille on the side of my laptop just entirely snapped, and it was hanging by a tiny fragment of plastic... I pulled the rest off, and it doesn't look so bad apart from two stubs at either end. I suppose there's some kind of advantage in that I can now hopefully have more airflow and further incidents of overheating, Plus, there's not any space whatsoever for **** to get trapped - Hell, all the grille did was increase the probability of something being lodged between the plastic and the fanopeningthing.
...And yet, I'm somewhat despondent about it. Maybe I'm sad that this thing is slowly falling apart (I have to slam the cd bay to get it to shut), the right click on the touchpad is barely functional, the board which links the hotkeys at the top of the keyboard to the mobo is dead, and something's caught somewhere inside the fan, which is making it heat up a whole lot more...
Oh well. If all goes well (and I sincerely pray that it does), I'll have another one of my mother's old machines this autumn. This one's a Sony Vaio with a built-in webcam, a gig of ram and a decent gfx chipset... Although the hard drive is smaller than my current one (I swapped in a larger one myself), so I might have to do some fiddling with mini-IDE cables sometime soon.
i feel disgruntled a bit.
first of all, it's after 5 am, and i'm still not asleep. i HATE waking up very late, and being up this late is not going to help me wake up earlier. i also need to go to the bathroom, but i don't want anyone to know i'm up now, or they'll be all 'LOL U WERE UP @ LIKE 5 U SUK LOL XDDDDDDDDDD' tomorrow.
it also sucks that i finally feel like I can settle down and stay here for awhile but the only truly active parts of this forum are the partswhere post count don't go up and mine's measly (though i know post count doesn't matter etc) i can only hope that with the best of my ability i can somewhat help the place become less like 4chan jr. -- it's been TOO long since i actually cared about / put effort into my posting at the whole VGC/VGS twin boards, y'know?
also if you really wanna know what's on my mind I wish I had more people to talk to online :( i think that's one reason i came back pining for a forum to hang on, just about all my online friends have randomly disappeared or something.
[COLOR="Cyan"]A company that washes plastic fruit crates realise how troublesome sticker labels that do not wash off easily because the surface of the crates is flat and smooth. New crates out now have a dotted lumpy surface so that the sticker labels can come off easily when workers use scrapers to scrape them off. Problem is that a company cannot get rid of the old crates yet since money from clients are absorbed in costs such as wages and monthly electric power bills. The new crates also have a label insert where clients can insert a label. But this label insert's plastic surface is flat and smooth and can be mistaken for a sticker label. This is a serious design flaw and the manufacurer that designs the plastic crates will have to make the label insert a dotted lumpy surface to avoid the sticker problem.
A GIB plasterboard company has no special safety equipment to lift GIB board by hand. Each man is able to center and grip their hands on the edge of the board while leaning the flat surface of the board on his shoulder. Problem is that getting the board through the doorway of the building, the board must be lowered to avoid hitting the timber above the door. A man who is short can manage to get the board through the door. But a man six foot or more would struggle by lowering his legs to get the board under the door timber, putting a lot of pressure on the leg muscles. I remember Superman starring Christopher Reeves standing on the glass window of a building and he shocked the burglar who used suction cups to grip the surface of the glass. These suction cups gave me the idea to find some way to grip the center of the board without gripping your fingers under the board. I hope the company will find this useful idea a safe answer to this problem. [/COLOR]
Today me and my friends in my neighborhood are putting on our bathing suits and having a water ballon fight. It's going to be really fun since it looks like a really nice day out. :D
........take photos.
.........No.
****it
Pervert. Anyways...As we were about to start, it started to rain and we said "Why have it today since it's already raining?" So we are going to do it tommorow and my other friend is going to bring his 20 pound super soaker. The thing is huge! Can't wait! :D
****.
You know what beautiful, we would. We really would. So what are you waiting for?
Not now right? You don't know right? You weren't supposed to let me know how you really feel right? I don't blame you. I don't ever know with us either.
There are so many complications, especially what everyone will think. I mean when things ended people had really different views and ideas and assumptions.
All I know is, I don't know anything at all.
And it's kind of bittersweet.
I can't shake this feeling that I screwed up somehow. It's really annoying. Chances are I did. I wish I knew what it was.
I need a second job. I hate money. I don't feel like being homeless again.
Maybe some taco's will calm my mood.
I hate being sleep deprived.
I keep trying to sleep, but each time I do, the same ****ing nightmare starts up again.
It needs to stop. My head hurts. I just want to sleep for once.
Going to highschool. People can ****ing suck.
Experienced a [i]wonderful hiking/camping trip in a remote valley the past three days, though it was raining and flooding and chilly most of the time, and now I'm back browsing this miserable place. Delightful!
I didn't know four Smirnoff Ice Triple Blacks could get me this buzzed, either.
I wonder if anyone actually reads thee things ppl post in this thread :s
You did what I couldn't do. You are guarding yourself from everything. How you feel- just everything. Yeah, I guess we were moving in that direction. That direction that made me really happy, because the last few days have been amazing- like old times, but better. You thought you wanted it too, I think you do want it. I think you're just scared.
Now you don't want me to get the wrong idea.
The only idea I have in my head is that, I think a little part of me, will always, be 16 years old in love with the girl a train ride away, who I had a storybook time with for a very, long time. I don't know if I like that.
I got caught in between and I couldn't handle it. I had to make a decision about the two most important people in my life, and I couldn't handle it. I came across one of those life defining moments, one of those moments who make you who you are, and I couldn't handle it. Now I'm left with nothing but me. I lost it ALL because I got caught between. Maybe I should have made a decision. Maybe I should have betrayed one of them. At least I'd have one friend left. Nah, I couldn't. I choked. I didn't know what to do. For the first time ever, the kid who's been through it all, couldn't handle something.
I always thought I grew up too fast, and I hated it. Maybe I'm more of a little kid who needs help than I thought.
But I don't have a best friend anymore. I just have me. I don't even know who I am, or what I think, or what to do.
I guess with the last few remaining weeks of summer, I have to figure me out.
Raptor, read Nexidala's post before jefferey shalome's, and the dereps will make more sense.
Anyways, I've got a lot of stuff I need to do soon. I need to mow the grass, read the driver's manual, plan a party, bus downtown to get a new wire for my snare drum, and practice for a show on saturday. Which is why I'm sitting at my computer telling you all about it.
About to go to High School, which is, essentially a whole new chapter to my life. I'm sure I will have tons of fun, and fights, but in the end it'll be worth it. I'm really looking forward to it.
Oh man, good luck with that interview. Don't worry, it'll be impossible for them to resist you! [spoiler]and how about you call me once in a while? =([/spoiler]
"Yeah, getting lost in music would be nice right about now. Only thing is, I've got an appointment in about an hour. But thankfully, the car speakers aren't total crap, and I'm armed with a Bookoo. Two great energy drinks for a buck? Yeah, don't mind if I do. And we've finally been getting that marine layer in the evenings again; I'm really looking forward to all the evenings when the clouds start to roll in and things cool down, instead of having the sun blazing in my eyes for an extra two hours. Welp, gotta go now, but there's one more thing on my mind...
YEAH YOU MAKE ME FEEEEEELL... LIKE I'M ON FIIIIIIREEEEE
Thank you, Ferry Corsten. Thank you."
Lose yourself in the music, the moment you own it, you better never let it go. You only got one shot do now miss your chance blow. You better lose yourself.
...what?
Arts!
SEX SEX SEX!!!! IT'S ALWAYS ON MY MIND IT'S ALL I THINK ABOUT.. well that and masterbation
Looking back at that last post I made in this thread, I think it was the most heartfelt thing I ever wrote on these forums in years. Today resurfaced a lot of old feelings. As we looked at each other, I knew she has something to say. She kind of gave me that bittersweet smile. That, "I love you, it's true love, but...I can't" smile. That, we're too broken, we just are smile. Yet at the same time it was a "I feel the safest with you" smile, an "I think I like you" smile, a "I want to try again, but I'm just not sure" smile.
What will happen in a week? What will happen when school starts, and the Romeo and Juliet act ends? There's no where to hide in school. I guess it'll all be over then. I know I'll be hurt to death, again.
So why am I going along with this? I promised myself I wouldn't get attached again, but to see her get a little attached, it...it made me crack a little.
My head is spinning with feelings again sometimes. I'm scared. I'm scared I'm going to just end up hurt and lost like I was before.
Maybe it's the swan song.
Maybe this is it. Maybe she wont ever, ever believe that what I said was true. Maybe she will still think if we got together I'd just forget about her after I graduate this year. I just wish, someway, somehow everything would fall into place.
Fat chance.
I feel alone. No best friend, no anything. I have so many friends, and yet no magical friends lately. I miss that.
New York City is such a beautiful place. Maybe I spent too much time in summer wasting it, instead of achieving something. I should have done more. College is coming up, SAT's again, and I haven't even begun to prepare. Life is trying to ****ing run me over. I don't want it to.
I gotta fight it back, full force.
UUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhh?
meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow mix make the world much better
I wonder if Keyartist takes daily showers?
A few hours after making that post, I now begin to feel what I feared. I hate this feeling.
I want to go to the city tomorrow, but where? I'll figure it out later.
Meh, College almost up. Hope I do good, alittle panicked about it. Meh.
Less than a week until I go back to school. Most of my friends are going to UNM, so they've already gone back, but CNM doesn't start until the 28th. And even then, I found out I get something they don't - three day weekends, every weekend. For the vast majority of us, four-day schedules are the norm, even if our classes are longer than theirs. *** I love Central New Mexico.
I wanna do something fun for Labour day weekend. Maybe drive up to the Guilliver tunnels with my friends. They're in the mountains in an area with lots of open hot springs. It might be fun.
As of late I've felt.... odd. Like, not myself. More down than I usually am.... which is never. It's been a stomach churner.
I realized why.
My whole world changed. For the better, of course. It was such a fast change, though. But I've finally smoothed things out.
I'm happy again.... I'm back.
Scared I'm not going to be able to talk to Erica and Zara.
High school is making me more nervous as it gets nearer.
First day of classes starts tomorrow. Im not looking forward to it, but hey,
at least this is my Juior year, so only one more year of College and its time to
make some money.....Did I turn the oven off last night?
Heh, school is already getting un-interesting. Let's see if something nice happens tomorow... I bet not but eh.
****in need to be more creative.
Well, first day of my Junior year in College is over, and it was
ok, but seriously, who actually likes going to class? **** that
****!
Gah I hate taking Dramamine or whatever that motion sickness crap is. I'm so tired and blurry and not with it right now.
I've got a few hours till the parents come home. Heh, I remember when I would have immediately poured all my efforts into meeting up with people I'm not supposed to be around. But then after doing that a couple times I realized that it's not worth the risks to go listen to a bunch of drama that has no end. When people stop caring, they just wander in stupid circles with the same stupid people. I'd like to either do something, or enjoy doing nothing at all, but I don't want to hear about the fifth time your abusive boyfriend has dumped you and asked you back out again. Maybe it's time for you to actually do something about it, hmm?
Whatever, you people don't care about yourselves. You say you're out there to help other people, but you must do it **** wrong because soon everyone has lowered their morals and standards, and then you're part of a wallowing pit of idiocy and repetition.
Self-respect necessary.
The world feels like it's out to ****ing RUN me over. Everything goes so perfectly SO **** good, and BOOM.
I gotta cut you out of my life. You were my brother for 7 years. Not anymore. Not any more kid. If you did this I swear I'll kill you. We're no longer friends. Guilty or not. I swear, I wont.
And to you, beautiful, I'm so, so sorry. It seems like everything around me always ****s you up. No matter if it's not my fault. I hope it wasn't them.
.....man that is just depressing.
all my grandad had to do was show up at the dmv and take a test. now it takes an act of congress just to get a learners permit.
Man these Art classes of mine are gonna be fun...plus there are
some hotties too...don't see much of then in computer classes..
Dang, it's been raining a lot. Wonder when it will stop?
"There goes my baby" by the Drifters is a great song. It's on repeat for the 100th time.
there goes my baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaby
"Job searching wouldn't be so unpleasant if it weren't for all the irksome formalities."
I'm glad I'm missing first and second period this morning.
I've got another week until school, starting Year 11. I've had over 5 weeks to finish my English Coursework on "Nicholas Nickleby." And I still haven't done it. Darn procrastination. Except this time I can't find the work I've done so far, meaning I have to start again. Except that I can't start again because I can't find the Coursework instructions either. So I'm screwed. I have no idea what to do. :(
What am I gonna do this weekend?! It's still raining! I hope it stops soon.
gah Highschool is less then 2 weeks away, and I'm hating to have to start it, anyone wanna place bets on how many times I get initiated (pardon my spelling) I bet twice at most, but I'm hoping for none.
Detach. Detach. Detach. Detach. Detach. Detach. Detach. Detach. Detach. Detach. Detach. Detach. Detach. Detach. Detach. Detach. Detach. Detach. Detach. Detach.
"Da[COLOR="White"]m[/COLOR]mi[COLOR="White"]t[/COLOR], I forgot to feed my bird."
"I'm tired, yet I can't pull myself away from the computer. **** you, internet."
Heheh, I feel the same as Zeta... The internet is a human magnet.
Fukken 3am, and o shi- party tomorow.
That doesn't matter. I think that he's an idiot. That's why I wrote, "You are an idiot."
Anyways, I'm heading to volleyball camp tomorrow for a week. I'm going to start packing now.
ps. drop it.
I had softball try-outs last week. The coach isn't posting the names up until Tuesday, but he said I was a shoe-in! I'm glad because I feel like I have something to prove since I'm new to that school. Hope all goes well.....
"It's very still outside when it's usually breezy, quite muggy, and some awfully dark clouds are forming... approaching storm? It certainly has that atmosphere. I haven't checked the forecast, but I certainly hope so. An evening of thunder and lightning in Hilo, or even just heavy rain, would be sensational. Oh, and my friend there said he heard thunder. Suh-weet, time to hit the highway!"
w007!
Im just really feeling down right now
Its like i have no spark, i dont care about anything any more
I dont feel love for the people loving me.
Havent got the strenght to even care about love
I rember the time when i could look in the miere and be okay with what i saw.
The peace off slumber, lures me with it's promiss of not having to face the day.
I see al my faults clearly in the words off my friends.
I know i should be happy, since there is defenately so much for me to he happy about..
But no matter how hard i try to feel that happieness that should be mine, i just feel numm
Just wanted to know iff any off you others have been like this? I have tryid it. I am very tried off it.
But its been like this for almost 2 weeks now and im sick off it
School starts again today. I'm pleased and displeased with the end of summer. Certainly is means less freedom, but it structures me a little bit better than I usually am. Gives me more meaning I suppose. At least I'm living to do schoolwork.
I'm scared. I feel scared. I hate the future. It crept up all too quickly. Time to buckle down, face these fears, and delve into the college prep world.
SCHOOL CANCELLED! YAY! Ernesto is coming, so school is cancelled for the time being. Anyways, I noticed I am having more fun around the kids at my new school than my old friends. I guess it's because of the refreshing feeling of not seeing the same people you've been seeing for the last 5 years. I really love it here. :D
I'm getting nervous about High School :S
Here I am on the verge of crying, but more like, a stupified feeling. I let my guard down, now it feels like I've been stabbed in the heart. You said you loved me, you said you liked me, and then boom. You're going out with him on Thursday. I did it a ****ing gain. It feels like *** is trying to toy with me or something. Give me hope, then at the very climax of all hope, shoot me down.
I wish there was someone, anyone, out there for me again. Someone to grow up with. Someone to have adventures with.
If I ever find you I'll hold onto you.
****ed over again. I gotta be smarter. Smarter. ****ing Smarter. Come on kid, what's wrong with you. Why did you give in like this. You really set yourself up for hurt.
:(.
[COLOR="Cyan"]Each night I watch the Discovery Channel to find out man's greatest construction on MEGASTRUCTURES. Tonight was about Malaysia's vehicle and flood tunnel. Two levels of roadway will be built in this tunnel. If a flood happens, the bottom level will close to let the water run through to a river not far from the city shore. If the flood gets worse then both levels will close until the flood dies down. Hundreds of concrete ring-shaped sections are placed in the tunnel - looks like something out of scifi movie where a subway bullet-train is used to quickly get passengers from one country to another country. I can imagine what kind of future tunnel technology will be like. Many new changes from past mistakes will greatly improve tunnelling.
I see a massive tunnel city - a world first in New York City - tall skyscrapers, hotels, shopping malls and subway trams. Instead of ring-shaped concrete sections, the sections are pentagonal (five-sided) for extra protection against a severe earthquake. Vehicles in the tunnel must only be battery powered - no petrol or diesel powered vehicles allowed because of cabon monoxide poisoning from the fumes. I always fantasize about the future and if 'heaven' from the bible is a fantastic city then I believe that this would be man's beautiful work of art in construction.[/COLOR]
Ernesto is here. It's starting to get cloudy and drizzle. Hope nothing serious happens.
Huh, Maileen should of called me already. I wonder why she's talking so long to fukken call me. Heh anyways, loving the Max Forever song. Amazing Remix. Thank you sir Corrupt.
"It's rather disheartening when another one of my former contacts admits that the reason they haven't bothered to talk to me in months is because they got sucked into the despicable scumville known as myspace, which I wouldn't touch with some pedophile's 50 foot hard-on for an 11 year-old gurl named Jessica Lee Locklear from 523 Stalkme Street, North Carolina 23245 who likes sex, english and cabbage rolls."
"Haha, you may be my boss, but that does not matter. Touch her. Look at her funny. Say something. I dare you. She's had enough pricks like you to last a lifetime. I'll have no remorse. Straighten your act out. Or else."
I'm pretty ****ed angry.
Apparently the NASA and the president have made plans for a moonship during the middle of a war where we're spending too *******ed much already. On top of this, Bush has stated that pulling out of the war would be absolutely disastrous. And certainly, there's a possibility that a "terrorist organization" could gain control of Iraq, which is exactly what angers me. He's placed the country in a position where leaving the war would mean leaving more terrorist paranoia upon the country.
It's pretty much "I hate the government" night. It's caused me to be very anti-social and ****ed off. I had a hard time sitting at the table with my family when we were eating because of it. Initially though, I'm not sure if it started because of the actions of our administration, but it certainly got pushed in that direction.
I got her back.
High winds and a cloudy day, niiiiice. I just love a nice thunderstorm. :cool:
Also, Raptor has pretty interesting thoughts.
I saw a hypnotist the other day and I'm wondering if it was actually real, everyone up there seemed to be acting and speaking very loud and clear...it must've been reall but I'm so confused :(
I think I'm going to run up to BK and get some chicken fries. Mmmmm... chicken fries.
aaahhhh! where is you is?
After listening to John Mayer's "Clarity" and the leak of his new album, I have to say, I am a fan of his work. He seems like a pretty cocky guy, but I like his music.
As for other things, let's see where this goes.
I also haven't even been able to contribute to this thread like I used to like to. :( Maybe I will again soon.
****ing headache. It's plagued me constantly for almost six years now. When it lasts for a week at a time at full force, that's when I start to think it's not worth it to live like this. My *** it hurts, looking at this screen hurts, but I think it's off-set by the little bit of distraction I get from browsing around. I hope it's gone when I wake up tomorrow.
I wonder what I want to get out of life right now... I'm far too picky. I can point out a million things that I'd never want to live for that I see people around me working towards every day. Hopefully this pickiness will come in handy when I find out what I'm looking for. Logically, if I'm not satisfied with what most people around me are satisfied with, it's because I want something better.
I figure I'll either find it and be amazed and glad, or I'll desensitize myself to that want, just existing through life without ecstasy or peaks of happiness. I have to remind myself, though:
Every moment can't be a mountaintop experience.
****ing headache.
Living life is not simply breathing, sleeping, eating, and repeating. Life is a full-force adventure that should be enjoyed like everyday is your last. Breath with a clarity that purifies your soul. Sleep as a method to rid yourself of the days negatives and to replenish your energy. Eat with a hunger to fulfill your goal in life. And, repeat with a joy like a child continuosly going up and down on a roller coaster.
Life will kick you down and make you feel like scum. It will have you feeling like you aren't good enough, like you aren't worth a second glance. But, do not fret. Out there, a light dimmed by the darkness is waiting to shine bright. Waiting to be charged and re-charged, so when time comes, to blast with a light so powerful that the weak are left blind. A wise person once said, "what doesn't kill you, will only make you stronger" and I fully believe this, whether it be physically or mentally.
Popularity, from which most teenage lives revovle around. For some, who were naturally born with the aura that one cannot resist but be attracted to, this comes easily. Like a sunflower turning towards the sun. But for others, who do not have this natural aura, life can be more of a struggle. Yet, do not misread, because I said natural. We humans, have learnt that if it is not already provided for us, we must make it ourselves. So my advice to you is.....Create your own aura! Do not let the unwritten laws of todays teenage society keep you down! Scribble on those laws, make fun of them, draw circles and X's around them. People will be attracted to a care-free nature, one that radiates positive energy. As I say, if you weren't lucky enough to have this natural aura, create it yourself.
Wow. I really had a lot on my mind. Helps to let it loose.
I ****ing hate sleep. I really do. I hate being tired even more.
It'd be nice if I never slept again.
NeXidala agrees: Headaches will eventually fade....
Eh, thanks, but mine only fades and stays a dull roar. It's never "gone away," except for once when I had a few quadruple shot mocha latte things.
And I feel dang good today, I woke up with more energy than I've had in a while... but it's nice that I'm not having too good of a day. I always get anxious when I have a really bad low followed by a superb high. Makes me feel bi-polar, and I see enough of that crap to be wary of it.
"Tomorrow should be exotic. A long mountain bike excursion from dawn 'til dusk up in the lovely cloud forest. Years have passed since I last went on that enchanting journey. It's always soggy up there but hopefully it won't be constantly socked in with fog which would prevent me from getting some views and photographs of the beautiful valleys from high above. I should start packing now so I don't have to when I get up, but that would involve kicking myself in the rear to get motivated."
I HATE WOMEN MORE THAN ANYTHING IN EXISTANCE
Considering the tough guy attitude I've seen you take so far while I've been here, yeah. I think I COULD call that "irony."
ironic aint it?
The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, is blasting in my room, and I have to say, this is definitely one of the most influential albums I've heard. Something about it... the sound the songs...they're all on point. The production is bangning yet, the lyrics and the fact that I can relate to some cuts on this record a lot...man. I'm definitley feeling this album.
School is tomorrow, and I'm really hyped. Senior Year stresses will be there. I'm really nervous about the whole applying to colleges thing becuase I don't really know how everything works, but hopefully I can go to a good college in the city.
I can't wait to see some of my old people. I want this year to be the best ever. I gotta be very fresh and clean, it makes me feel good. I have a lot of hard classes, but I know I can handle that. I'm worries about the SAT's and SATiis but I'll somehow manage. Just gotta work on my math. Reading/Writing is not a problem.
AHH I can't wait :)
I hope I have frees with my friends.
"My god his face was bleeding. Haha, well, so was mine. He started it. It's not my fault. This is what he gets for trying to sell clear around my work, much less to Batman's son. At least he only got my nose. It still hurts. I don't think it's broken, though. I wonder if he's still there. I hope he is, and I hope someone runs him over. Yeah, that'd be cool."
I wish all I needed to depend on was ME. I wish i wasn't so scared of being lonely in the future. I wish I just had everything under control. I used to.
Everything is slipping away from me. I dont know WHO I AM. I don't know what I believe in anymore, and worst of all, I don't know how to find any of these things out.
"PEELS blueberry pomegranate malt beverages sure are good. They come in four 10 oz. bottles. 40 ounces to freedom! Just enough for a pleasant buzz."
Time to light the fire.
Spark Time.
I ned more.
High school sucks. I mean, I love seeing so many of my friends and hanging out with people that I haven't seen for a long time, but it's just so much wasted time. I'm glad I only have one high school class this year and the rest are at a community college, but still, that one hour and a half of my life per day is so stupid. I'm not suprised I felt like I was going crazy last year.
I wonder if it'd be worth it to brave another year of kindergarten Spanish with a troubled teacher, or if I should just take two years at the college instead... Come to think of it, I bet the Spanish teacher is on antidepressants. She acts a lot like my stepmom.
Oh well. School, college hunting, and work to do tomorrow. Note to self: Do not procrastinate.
[i]"Nothing like pulling a full moon all-nighter and being wasted on white russians at 6:49 in the morning!"[,./i]
"I have got quite a few copies of my resume, cover letters, and applications to submit today. I'm sure it's going to be very tiresome. Though, later tonight, we're all going out and likely seeing Tom yum goong (The Protector) at the mall theatre, then go carousing around the island all weekend. At least I have something to look forward to after the work is done. By the way, it would be splendid if more people were interesting enough to post in more personal topics like these rather than 'say wut teh member abuv u sed backwerds' or 'do u use a mouse or tab key 2 engage submit butten LOL'"
"I don't want to trade shifts tomorrow and work the night shift. He says he's the bestman at a wedding for his reason for wanting to trade with me, but I'm pretty sure that's bull. Looks like he's ****ed"
''So I'm supposed to go out with 2 girls today and none of them call me.. I wonder wtf is up.''
"Is it weird to sit infront of a boxfan to dry yourself off after a shower?"
I'm so hooked on Machinae Supremacy....
**** when you walk you have to look at the person ****.
It must be the old time blues, though I have not been in the best state of mind - the most annoying thing is, I cannot figure out what the problem is. No tragedy plagues me nor is there a million small predicaments that annoy me enough. I suppose I feel as if I am drifting away from this place more and more as I feel a lot of the people seem somewhat alien to me. I suppose I've grown tired, which is one of the reasons why I am tempted to just declare that I am going to leave and let this site find someone who is more well-liked, capable and popular so I won't keep this place behind. It seems to me as if most people won't notice my departure and would hope for a door to hit me on my rear end as I make way.
Young girl's and their sudden change of feelings and strong insecurities makes me sad and concerned so you better not leave! :(
"Either bring your unruly little children under control or put them on a leash. You wouldn't let your dog run aimlessly all over a restaurant, whining and barking loudly around many patrons trying to enjoy their meal, so why let your stupid little worthless piece of scum child do it? They are no more civilized than untrained animals, after all, and someone should start making shock collars for such little monsters. And for ****'s sake, stop buying them those trendy little shoes with rollers in the heel; it just encourages them to run around more and be rolling little ****tards. Maybe I oughta grab them by the nostrils and mouth and chuck them down a bowling lane to see how far they roll. I am amazed, and sorely disappointed, I haven't seen one of those kids fall flat on their *** yet. Also, babies are just nauseating to look at and be around. Googoo, gaga, GO FLICK THAT MYSTERIOUS SWITCH NEAR THE SINK AND TEST YOUR FIT IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I HATE KIDS!"
"You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you."
"If there's one thing that I find awkward as hell, it's laying in bed and trying to fall asleep as dawn approaches and light starts to creep in. It's 5:13 AM, so I had better get my ass in bed now before that happens. I have quite a few plans for Saturday, though... I'm looking forward to them.
...oh yeah, and it'd also be really nice if songs didn't get stuck in my head on repeat for hours."
"Nothing like driving off just after midnight to break into the computer and control rooms of an abandoned power plant just for the thrill of it. That **** hadn't been touched in years... and everything was just left in messy piles. It's as if everyone who worked there just got up and left and never came back. Strange and creepy, and I shall not dare mention what came to be when I opened the refrigerator in the break room. Ah well, I found some fantastic software just lying around for finders keepers, and admittedly the most entertaining aspect was truly feeling like I was in some video game trying to complete mission objectives, a la GoldenEye. There were so many quality tools for the taking, and so many tools that could be used as weapons. That place is so fascinating."
I feel as if most parents today are so incompetent. If it isn't spoiling their kids, its leaving them at daycare each day. This makes me somewhat concerned about my current generation, which seems to be worse. It was always my dream to adopt kids rather than have my own and raise them to be good people and hope they do the same when they grow up. I don't care about passing genes when ideology is lacking.
do i have a member of my family that is gay or lesbian?.....
wuts up with life... g0d dont fukking exist.. get real people.. This morning i felt like i was flying and i was like '' i hate life '' and i realy do but wut can i do...
It's been less than a full week of school and already I've had more work than ever. How the hell am I going to finish this AP US FRQ when it's 10 09, and I want to listen to music and relax. Tomorrow's the only day I have 7th free, so I'm looking forward to having lunch with her.
Ahh I just want to listen to music not do homework. I hate American History. Global History or European History is so much more interesting to me.
[quote]"Do you have any photos, artwork and literature pieces?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHY HAVEN'T YOU DONE ANYTHING YET? NO UNIVERSITY FOR YOU WITH YOUR EMPTY RESUME. MCHS WANTS YOU TO
SEND YOUR FREAKIN' WORK TO:
[EMAIL="Mchsyearbook2007@yahoo.com"]Mchsyearbook2007@yahoo.com[/EMAIL]
We won't pay you if you do, but whatever. It's a high school experience, you greedy kids. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT? :)
" This is a promotional poste for yearbook I made and printed on neon paper. THIS SHOULD CATCH ATTENTION.
Heh, nice.
"Prying open locked doors, breaking into offices and computer rooms of an abandoned power plant where current no longer flows, signing the chalkboard, marking corners. Hearing the surf pounding the shore in the moonlight hours, frogs chirping in the trees, wind and rain pounding the steel and fiberglass siding, entire building creaking and groaning, saturated with decades of inhumane humidity. The black centipede crawling out of the neck of a terribly out of place severed doll's head with her bundle of eggs, proudly anticipating the miracle of hatching. Breathing in the must of years-old air and the stench of various rotting food items that marched well beyond their expiration dates in defunct breakroom refrigerators. Taking nothing but a couple photographs, an unused 1977 date book, and a nifty DO NOT OPERATE tag. Climbing the moontower of spiralling rusty ladder rungs under the influence. Finding an aquarium full of silverfish inside and a banana stock full of three inch-long bananas outside, the best I have ever tasted, fashioning a hat from the peels. Control panels featuring a vast array of dials and knobs and buttons and switches and levers to turn and toggle and push and slide and shift. In my imagination they all light up like raves, and happy nostalgic video game music starts playing from the P.A. system as I slam my fist down on the button of burgundy mayhem and destroy several Texan counties."
for once my life doesnt suck. HOORAY!
No matter how hard I try, no matter how hard I grind, I just can't meausre up. I just can't be good enough. I just can't do it.
I wish *** would help me. I'm trying to do the best I can, but it seems like it's not good enough. I always have something else to prove.
I need that best friend to help me out. NO NO I dont. I need to stop depending on others and be the old me.
Lone Wolf style.
that, my friend is not the true road to happiness.
I'm listening to "Breakdown" by Jack Johnson. It's exactly how I feel right now, especially the last verse.
I was just realizing how much childish dreams inspire me. Then I started to wonder why I feel so bad for having so many childish dreams of my own instead of feeling inspired by them.
I hate it when my mother makes fun of my large feet. Maybe I should cut it off! gee, that's what she always wanted.
"That song, A, brings me so much memories. Hahah, ****ing ex GF's.
AND I LIKE THE WAY THAT SHE SAYS SHE'S GONNA CALL ME BUT DOESN'T. Oh god, **** her then. Now I won't have to listen to silent conversations."
I want to ask this girl to homecoming. Yeah.
"On the way to Kona today, I saw a woman beside the road trying to take a picture, talk on her cell phone, and eat a cracker all at the same time. What the hell has our society come to? At least she wasn't driving to top it all off."
Last night's dance made me furious. After spending a few nights chilling in hotel rooms listening to the best music in existence, I had to sit through Big N' Rich and all this stupid rap? And worse yet, be expected to awkwardly wobble around this pulsating mass that is desperate to touch anyone, anything. I love to dance, but seriously, come on.
Oh yeah, can't forget my glorious escape from that place- cruising the bottoms at 150 mph. That was pretty sweet, but still not as grand as I'd have hoped for some reason. It seems like it takes a lot to get me really pumped up anymore. Sitting around while dumb guys desperately try to "get somewhere" with clueless girls is almost painful. But then again, it always seems like that from the outside. So very desperate and empty. Find someone else.
Then, what am I doing? Just trying to have some fun? I guess so. I used to care that it was dishonoring other people, using them, but now... They want to be used, and to equally use me. I'll settle for this for now, but eventually I really do want a relationship with substance. Quick, before I lose hope!
I better buckle down and expect much more of the same from almost everyone.
I need something to do today. And I hope tomorrow goes good.
I have a runny/stuffed nose, I was planning on having a lot of fun today, but it was cancelled thanks to my ****ing nose. I hate runny/stuffed noses the most, they really annoy the **** out of me. It ****ing sucks.
I want to go out with this kid, but I'm afraid of what might come out of it since he isn't considered BF material.........*sigh*...........I'm so used to just having him as a friend, but now I want to be more.......:crying:
I am currently thinking of absolutely nothing. My mind is completely empty.
... Wait, nevermind, a tumbleweed just passed through my mind.
****, we were going for it and then I just ****ed it up. Gawd I just ruined my chances.
On Friday I finally talked to this girl I like even thou it was only for 5 mins.
The thing is I got so tired of think about it so I just did it and figured out it's better just to do it but now that I'm actually thinking about talking to her tommorrow, I might choke.
Curse myself. =(
I did that today but it was worse than talking :(
Worse?
Edit for monday*
I choked.
I thought about it too much.
:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(
Violence, Work, and Homework I need to do.
I just need time to sit and THINK. I just need a sanctuary. Maybe soon. Hopefully soon.
I hope I get to make a convo with the girl I like.
I failed todaybut tommorrow I can talk about the Math test we had today.
I better not think about it too much thou or else I'll get caught up.
I hope I do so.
I go mad when I regret things seconds after I didn't do them.
I'm trying to build a friendship but my......weakness' hold me back.
So meaningless yet such a problem.
I only talked to her once before last friday but she sounded lie she wanted to talk to me.
We keep making eye contact and I feel like I have to take the oppertunity to talk to her.
But yea, you're right.
Can't let this things set me back.
I like this boy, this other boy likes me, I kissed a different boy 2 days ago.........WHAT TO DO!
"The sunsets have been gorgeous the past couple days. Today, it was foggy toward the evening, but it cleared just enough to reveal a beautiful sky of wispy, swirly clouds glowing intense orange, and in a few minutes everything around me started radiantly glowing orange-pink. Very magnificent. It quickly fogged right back up, but it was really breathtaking to take in. I live for this kind of thing."
"I still loathe college football just as much, if not more so, than I ever did"
I keep on missing my opportunities to start a decent relationship with a good girl. Someone my parents just might approve of, perhaps...? Of course, not FOR them, it's just for me in a roundabout way. Less stress, and I'd love to find someone stable anyways.
k maybe deep down...
Well I got to talk to the girl I like again.
I have to make the conversations longer but for now, I'm sticking to asking questions about classes.
maybe in a wekk or so of talking I can ask more personal questions.
I gotta thank ya, Kamek.
I kept your words in mind and got the courage to do it. =)
So, I wasn't any help? I'm kidding. Anyway, I'm happy for you Arcadios. I'm glad you've got it all figured out. :)
At the moment, I'm in a state of peace, but knowing my house it probably won't last too long.
*** you looked so beautiful today. I wish my camera wasn't being so horrible, we would have taken a great picture. Ahh :( I hate it when you look so good it hurts me. I feel so inferior next to you. I don't know how you're mine, but it's been more than a year and a half, and I'm not complaning.
um...some certain people....the football game friday, and how all of the people i hoped would be there aren't going to be there =[
also myspace since im on, and AIM too. i guess lawl
I talked to my crush again and we smiled at each other.
Made me feel good.
I hope I can keep this up and get somewhere soon.
This relationship I'm forming with... "Kate," is so different than any others in my life right now. It's so old fashioned, I guess. Wow, to think that I've only seen her twice, and that those are the only two times we've ever talked. Basically, if I want to talk to her, I just go to the library at a certain time of day. I keep up all my other friendships through the internet, so it's a nice escape from all of that. She makes me feel pretty comfortable, too, considering how I really don't know her at all, which is nice.
For the first time in years someones personality has been the first thing I noticed.
"I got an interview tomorrow with Paws University. I hope it pays well enough and I can get enough hours to be worth the commute. Also, another stormy day would be splendid. I'm looking forward to more pies, and relaxing from all the business I've had to take care of lately. I could never handle all the paperwork associated with an office job."
super death bliss death bliss
pain bliss death death
death hurt pain ouch bliss
black rose beath pain death sad
slit slit slit
"There are quite a few stupid asshats in Hilo. This evergrey permadrizzle must make quite a few people dim and moody. I, for one, can't seem to tire of the rain. It's just a [i]little damp out there today. **Shakes and sprays water everywhere** I don't kid you not. It hasn't stopped raining for eight hours.
Also, I've been getting back into NIN's The Fragile. It was once my favourite album of all time, and for good reason. Especially the dreamy "Even Deeper," because it reminds me one of my very first moonlight wanders. I remember being amazed at how well it's somber spine-tingling dreamlike melodies so closely matched the barren moonlit landscape that I had become one with.
I feel this thread may be more appropriately placed in the off-topic forum. Quite a few posts in here have much more substance than the rest of the topics on this board."
Im going to this girls birthday party but I wont even know anyone there. 4 hours of sucking hardcore, better try and make the best of it. *sigh* -_-
I went to the first concert in my life today (i refuse to say any band names because people are always very VERY stupid concerning music and find ways to make me feel like an idiot for listening to any given band in the known universe for any given reason) and it absolutely ****ing ruled. atlanta hifi ampitheatre. ****ing insanely awesome, especially the feeling you get when you're in the middle of thousands of people out on, for all intents and purposes, a bare lawn under the night sky listening to music so loud it rocks the ground itself.
also i feel kind of retarded for various reasons (lol see the admit stuff about yourself or whatever topic) and im sleepy as hell.
I hate being sick. It used to happen regularly, but it's been awhile since something as small as a cold has made me feel this crummy. I'm bored, too, since I don't feel like sleeping, doing homework, or enjoying a video game.
I'm seriously thinking about downing a lot of cough syrup and just lying down to listen to music. I've never hallucinated before, and I don't know when a better opportunity than now will show itself.
But then I say to myself, "Wait, that's just because this weekend wasn't all you wanted it to be, you're stressed about stupid pointless things you can't control, hormones, etc."
I think I'm actually beginning to make a habit of procrastinating. I'm horrible about it. There's work I could be doing right now, but instead I am wanting to put it all off until tomorrow when I'll have two hours to do it or I'm screwed. I need to put some time into my essay tonight.
I find that many times I won't feel like goofing off at all while I have "free time" to do so. Instead I have these irresistable urges to do so as soon as work comes up, or I am expected to do something. I need to get out of my own world.
Also, I agree whole-heartedly with what Raptor stated at the end of his last post.
Unfortunately, most people will call it spam and render it useless - however, I agree. I've read many interesting post on here so far.
Today was rather annoying, I went to take a relative to go shopping for their dance. When I entered this store, I asked the woman on the location of a Junior section, she replied with, "We have a petite section." I politely told her, "Madam, I meant if there was a section for teenagers here." She told me, "I am sorry, we don't. Our clothing are catered to American women only." For a minute I was rather offended, yet I choose not to say anything about it and smiled, thanking her "1/100 heartedly" and exited the store before I screamed, "What a ****er!" I find it funny she emphasized American - I firmly believe that I am more "American" than she is simply due to the fact that she could treat someone in such a way.
I grow annoyed of Anti-Americanism, yet at the same time, I am irritated by patiots. I love the country for what it is - the mountains, Bay Area, yet I can pass by without being a total moron about it. I feel as if very few people out there really cares anymore, but its all good. I've set out a life goal to restore a sense of dignity in, at least, a small pocket of people - or orphans from an unfotunate background. I've grown tired of some of the comments on this board, certain things people tell me just doesn't help it either. I suppose it just reminds me of certain things about people that I wish were not true.
It's funny how anti-corruption can corrupt the minds of others and push them onto the anti-bandwagon bandwagon.
In the end everything and anything is considered mainstream by those who are too fooled by stereotypes to give anything a chance. And also those with too much of hard heads that think they are doing themselves a favor by neglecting mainstrem.
It's all very amusing.
Also, couldn't you be considered a poser if you pretend to neglect mainstream....yet you watch and do mainstream things everyday?
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You need not completely comprehend the words but let your body go with the flow that the melodies of the songs place upon you. Songs can mean different things to different people depending on their emotions and their ability to comprehend what they truly mean. Songs are not about listening to each and every word, but feeling it inside of you and relaxing within the clear waters of what it means to you.
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Just voicing my thoughts.
It's funny how anti-corruption can corrupt the minds of others and push them onto the anti-bandwagon bandwagon.
In the end everything and anything is considered mainstream by those who are too fooled by stereotypes to give anything a chance. And also those with too much of hard heads that think they are doing themselves a favor by neglecting mainstrem.
It's all very amusing.
Also, couldn't you be considered a poser if you pretend to neglect mainstream....yet you watch and do mainstream things everyday?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You need not completely comprehend the words but let your body go with the flow that the melodies of the songs place upon you. Songs can mean different things to different people depending on their emotions and their ability to comprehend what they truly mean. Songs are not about listening to each and every word, but feeling it inside of you and relaxing within the clear waters of what it means to you.
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Just voicing my thoughts.
[quote=NeXidala]Also, couldn't you be considered a poser if you pretend to neglect mainstream....yet you watch and do mainstream things everyday?
I refuse to use the word "mainstream" anymore. Same with "bandwagon." Both terms have become much too trendy and if I used them just like everyone else I wouldn't feel nearly so unique and special. Then again, the word "trendy" is trendy too. So is using the English language. I could try typing in a different language, but most internet users already do that, and even then typing with a keyboard could be considered trendy. AHHHHHH I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS SO I THINK IT'S TIME TO GO LISTEN TO THE EVIL DEMONIC VOICES IN MY HEAD AND CUT MYSELF IN A DIFFERENT AND UNIQUE PLACE SO I DON'T LOOK CONFORMIST.
[quote=NeXidala]Songs can mean different things to different people depending on their emotions and their ability to comprehend what they truly mean.
This is pretty much stating the obviously obvious, but yeah, true.
lol ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What the ****?
(For a lot of reasons)
Today during math I was looking at a hand out of your progress and I looked at my crushs name and it seems she has a middle name.
I instantly asked her what it was but she gave me a face like she didn't want anyone to know so I didn't ask again.
Then when I looked back she told me and I felt like she trusted me a bit so I told her mine but that wasen't saying much.
Whew... just found out my parent's return will be delayed by several days. This makes me happy. I've realized that when they are around home, there's this prevading stressful feeling. I hate it. Maybe it's their expectations that I'm resenting, or something else. I think it's usually this feeling of the words "I would be spending my time differently" being on the tip of their tongues at all times. I love it when they're not around so I can just chill and feel at home in my own home for once.
I should work on fixing that. Either I'm causing the problem, or they are crazy and it's impossible to please them so I should just ignore it.
Another thing: School. Why don't I have an enormous amount of drive to not only succeed but do exceedingly well in my courses? Well, most of my classes right now are very basic so maybe I just haven't found a strong interest in anything.
I'm so scared of the future. It's like everyone wants to be a doctor. I mean I like hematology, but the doctor route isn't for me. I guess that's what I get for going to one of the top 3 NYC High Schools. Everyone around me seems to have their life all planned out. Why don't I even know what I want to do yet?
I want to be able to support myself, and live comfortably. Science has always interested me, especially physics. Maybe I can be an engineer. I always liked theoretical physics though. Psychology also interests me. Being a teacher is something I said I'd never do ew, teachers, but I think I'd really make a good teacher. I love working with people and influencing them.
Everyone says I'm a good writer. I know you probably can't tell from message board posts, where not too much revision occurs, but I always felt I was a good writer. Maybe I can do something with that.
I want to get into my city's college honors program. They give you a free laptop, a scholarship grant, a study grant so you can go abroad and so many other perks like broadway tickets for free, free jazz concerts and so much more. Oh how I'd die to get accepted. I have great classes, and my average is good, however I was never one to do too well on standardized tests that last 4 hours (read: SAT's). Hopefully they'll love my essay and I can get in. Oh man, I'd love that so much.
I'm so scared of the future. I don't know what it'll bring.
And to beautiful, thank you for being such a sweetheart this week. You really were so nice to me, so comforting when all the drama occured and you're just the greatest. I don't appreciate you nearly enough. I now people would kill to have someone like you, and that's not just a cliche, I really truly whole heartedly mean it. I need some time to myself to clear my head, play a little Okami, and get good.
Okami is a ****ing sexy game. It feels so epic. I love it.
I wish I was good at guitar. I'm going to practice like crazy.
I want to read "The Fabric of the Cosmos" but I barely have time. I bought it so long ago, I really should. I'm interested in that kind of thing.
Maybe Physics is the way to go for me after all.
Business seems liek another thing too, I hear there's a lot of money in it.
Whatever I do, I have to do it well.
Hopefully I can get some rest now.
You know this culture has gone way downhill when a rap tune starts playing somewhere, and everyone around you responds by checking for incoming calls on their cell phones.
I've been thinking about what it would be like to be a people and society-oriented person, as almost everyone else seems to be like, rather than an earthly and nature-oriented individual as I always have been... and I've concluded that I wouldn't want to be any different than I am now. There is nothing like walking down to a wide, secluded beach of fine white sand underneath the moonlight, being the only one there to enjoy it, and feeling free to do whatever I please and behave any way I want. The reflection of the moonlight on the sand was rather bright even with the moon concealed behind heavy cloud cover, and it even poured rain for a little while, and drizzled much of the rest of the time. Both the rain and the clean, aquamarine sea water was so very warm. It was a fantastic experience.
I didn't get home an hour later than I intended last night, as the police closed the stretch of highway home due to flash flooding. I ended up having a couple margaritas at the restaurant my mother works at, which wasn't half unpleasant, and she was there to serve them. I got to watch the highlights of the Tigers vs. A's game. Tigers all the way! Turns out the flooding wasn't that big of a deal, though... it rained like hell while I was there, but there wasn't a greal deal of debris on the road, and I was driving a 4WD anyway. I would have gladly driven across flooded culverts, but of course, the cops usually have nothing better to do here than use the slightest excuse to set up flares and close roads. It reminds me of Earthbound.
For the record, I'm drunk as hell.
The biggest problem with driving is having to trust hundreds of thousands of other drivers not to have an irresponsible moment or a freak accident at the wrong place at the wrong time. Whenever I drive on the highway, I unconsciously place my life and well-being at the mercy of countless others, and knowing the way many people out there are, that isn't a very comfortable thing to think about.
I don't appreciate the scum that reads these to try to use them against me, or against those I care about. I don't even remember if it was this thread or some other one, but it was definitely info directly from VGC. But hey, you mean nothing pleasant to me, so I'm not going to waste time thinking about you. If I have to go occaisonally say a word or two to you, I'm willing to do so, but that's it. You might call this acting "cold."
It really has been nice being away from the high school. This way I get to choose who I'll spend time with instead of being forced to spend hours with the sad, sorry people who try to latch on to or use me. Evading them used to by my chief concern, but now I can relax when it comes to that.
I really like my friends. They're the best I've ever had.
I really don't want to go to work tomorrow. I'm tired of picking up people's slack. People calling off, chatting with friends instead of working, using their cell phones when they should be working, purposely spraying Windex on their belt so the customers come in MY LINE, asking for a break and they've been there like an hour, and I've been there about 3-4 and I didn't get my ****ing break yet, just generally ****ting around.. *** it ****es me off.. I should get paid more than these ****ers.. I do my work AND theirs. I think the one just wants to have a kid so she can quit her job.. She's only 18 or 19, too.. and dating some guy that looks older than my frigging dad.. and she's been with him only five months.. oh.. HE LIVES WITH HIS MOM. ..Idiot. She's the laziest ****ing co-worker ever, too.
And I agree with Raptor about drivers. ^_^
Life is woe. I had a fender-bender earlier this week and it is going to end up costing me about $1,800ish, which I'll be paying out of pocket, but thankfully I wasn't ticketed nor was the fault ruled against me. I'm not sure about the car. I don't want to incur any debt (I won't have any even after this accident) but I think that I might be better off with a stronger car because I drive so much in heavy traffic that another accident is fairly likely. Maybe a used Land Rover Discovery would work? Worst thing is, I re-injured my neck (I had whiplash from a previous accident where I was the passenger) and it doesn't seem to be getting any better.
I'll probably be leaving my job soon, at the end of this year. I like my co-workers and boss, but the job itself is just getting too chaotic. I might get to be a photographer for a local paper, and that would be a lot easier than what I do now, not to mention significantly less stressful.
The college transfer is driving me insane. It's like the purposely throw every obsticle they can in my face just for laughs. This week has been miserable, and I really wish things would lighten up a little for me. I'm nearing the breaking point trying to juggle a lack of car, crazy job, 3.75GPA & college classes, transfering to a different college, and my social life. Like Hell I'm gonna do this for much longer.
I'm thinking I like this thread. I'm also thinking about how my friend commented on how much I've improved at guitar playing since the last time he heard me, which was months ago. That was good to hear. And why does the doctor have to prescribe expensive medication for this cough I can't get rid of? None of it has worked so far and I've been kept up all night for 3 nights in a row now due to this. I HATE BRONCHITIS. And because I have/had bronchitis, I missed an entire week of school. So I have to work all weekend doing make-up work. At least I missed the week before fall break, so I ended up with 2 weeks off. I dread going back on Monday though.
I witnessed a funnel cloud at work, today. It's very rare to see one of those here, but it happens. It was dropping down from an upper layer of dark clouds, and came far from touching the ground, but it was still fascinating to watch. And then a few minutes later, it started pouring down on us like a mother****er. Fortunately, we weren't trying to sun-dry tomatoes.
A close friend of mine is going through a crisis... helping him through it is going to be quite an adventure.
Raptor's post reminded me of this small dust devil I saw next to a building about a week ago. These dry leaves were swirling around slowly, and I wanted to stay and watch it, but everyone else was walking.
Huh, I just remembered somehting else. My response to the dust devil was shouting at everyone to look at it. Maybe a year and a half ago I would have been silent. I've really gotten louder, and sometimes I hate it. I would have never gotten the attention I get now, but I really do like being in the background sometimes. Most times. Just me and maybe two others. One on one is my favorite, though. Talking about everything, just chilling.
Tonight was fun. I'm buzzed, so I'm in really good spirits. I met some cool people, listened to good music, and found out I can still school *****es at Halo. But then again, I got owned by a girl at Smash Bros. Well I guess you win some, you lose some.
It never stops.
My crush has developed in a good and bad way.
When I thought it was all lost and gave up she made her move and the eye contact increased, she began conversations and I tried my best to continue them. This is pathetic, I know that but I asked her for her screenname on aim and she said her comp was messed up and that she would give it to me during math or science. I was so happy that I got that far even thou it was hardly a move. I didn't care. For that day I was completely happy. I have to keep this up and not get cold feet. I want to ask her if she has any periods free so we can take a walk outside or even meet up after school but damn it. I want to do it and go further then a peice of shit screenname. I can't lose this opportunity but it's difficult. In society's veiw of being a man is to have no fear and not be a coward but......I just don't know. It isn't that easy. Sometimes I think that I'm too low for her and that she's too good for me. Maybe I should quite while I'm ahead and save myself the rejection. Rejection is my fear but her eyes keep drawing me back. She looks directly at me and I do the same but I've learned that eyes can lie just as easily as lips do.
I want this weekend to end.
I want to go back to school because I feel so contained.
I have to let this out before there's no chance to.
I can't get her off my mind.
I can't really say it's love since I don't know much about her but I want to.
I don't believe in love at first sight
.
Advice: If it turns out she doesn't like you as more than a friend before too long, DO NOT KEEP TRYING. You'd be setting yourself up for an emotional breakdown.
Yea, I know.
Thanks for the advise.
It's funny how I seem to have infinite patience for animals, no matter how annoying or stubborn they're being, whereas I am very easily agitated and short-tempered when it comes to humans. It's probably because I can't help but love animals, regardless of anything. It's impossible for me to get mad at them, apparently. If I do experience a flash of anger, it doesn't last long. I have absolutely no reason to resent innocent creatures with harmless intentions. On the other hand, babies and children I have absolutely no patience with [i]at all, and I want nothing more than for them to shut up and get the **** out of my face.
What thing goes into which genre? Should this be classified here or there? How should this be organized? Where should we file that under?
This must be what it means to be human. To give a flying **** or not to give a flying ****, that is the question.
More than ever before, humanity is bondage.
Well it doesn't matter what I have on my mind when I open this thread because I completely forget it by the time I read everyone else's responses.
Now what I'm thinking is I miss having a crush on someone to a certain degree. Sure it's painful if it doesn't work out, but I feel like taking a risk. I've got nothing to lose by trying.
So I'm off to meet new people. But where? School? I suppose I'll wade through the idiots and morons looking for a real gem of a person. Someone who honestly has good intent. Someone who is open and truthful about everything no matter what "guilt" or "insecurity" she feels. Someone who will wrap her arms around me and shove her tongue down my throat.
Yes.
:(
**** human nature. I hate life so much sometimes. I hate my mind, I hate thoughts I have sometimes. I mean I guess it's normal to think things to doubt, to feel stressed, but I just HATE it.
I feel like breaking down. I just want some time to be by myself.
Gravity
Is workinggg against me
And gravityy
Wants to bring me downnn
This song just sums it all up for me. John Mayer playing this acousticly with that Jazzy touch is just great.
I hate that lump in your throat. The one where you want to cry but cant or want to scream but wont. I rarely even stop by VGC anymore, aside from this thread. I want to just run awa I want a sanctuary where I dont have to be afraid of my own mind, my own thoughts. I want to be happy. I want to feel alive. Where are these feelings?
I have school in 7 hours after 2 full weeks of being away. I absolutely dread going back, considering I'm still sick, I didn't do all of my work I missed, I'm probably failing most of my classes now, and I've got a case of insomnia going on so I'll be drained as soon as I wake up.
drfaust****it (12:02:52 PM): first thing I do when I get to work is find out I issued a job wrong on friday
drfaust****it (12:02:57 PM): then our inventories are ****ed up
drfaust****it (12:03:02 PM): then we can't find specific parts
drfaust****it (12:03:08 PM): then I get *****ed at all ways
drfaust****it (12:03:13 PM): my dogs currently undergoing surgery
drfaust****it (12:03:17 PM): my parents might split up
drfaust****it (12:03:19 PM): problems with my ex
drfaust****it (12:03:26 PM): I have a mid term due tomorrow that I need to finish today
drfaust****it (12:03:31 PM): which I have about 1 hour to start and complete
drfaust****it (12:03:40 PM): I have a math test today and none of the homework done
drfaust****it (12:03:45 PM): and I'm failing in most of my classes
drfaust****it (12:03:50 PM): plus I have my driver's test this friday
That sums up my day. As for everything else, I wish my ex would be wiped from the face of the earth, I wish my ex before her would be mine, I really REALLY want a lot of money, I want everything in my life to go dandy at the moment, and I want the stress to stop.
THAT'S WHAT'S ON MY MIND.
So I'm worried about the seven papers I have to hand in at the beginning of term. And I'm also ****ed that I've spent £160 since the end of August; there goes my Wii fund.
Although, if the girl I'm interested in also likes me, then everything could go well - She hugged me for longer than seemed normal before she got into her taxi to the airport, and looked back as it was pulling away, so I'm doing some thinking... And I'm missing her. I'm in Chile, you're in Hong Kong - The world is a big place.
Alright.
I'm living with my boyfriend, who I happened to have wavering feelings for. I work at McDonald's and a retail job, Wet Seal.
I have to decide whether not to finish my last year and a half of high school or get a GED. I have to decide whther or not to move out with said unsteady, oblivious boyfriend. Move out on my own with my ****ty pay. Go to Texas and live with my mother who can't support herself.
That's what's mainly on my mind.
I'm in a pretty good mood. While sitting here in the library when I should be in my math class that I recently dropped. Perhaps if I did the homework in there I might still be there meandering my life in the great cause that I like to call Intermediate Algebra. Regardless of that though, I'm just feelin' fine. Work is it's typical mundane day to day routine, although the manager is kind of a tight-a[COLOR="Lime"]s[/COLOR]s, but that's to be expected I suppose. Life with my woman is going smoothly. And even though I'm unsure of my future, I tend to just live my life in the present without worry. Maybe that'll come back and bite me in the a[COLOR="Lime"]s[/COLOR]s in the future or even near future, but I'll deal with the problems as they arise.
I'm sitting here with this year's first glass of eggnog. Right now there's nothing I'd rather be doing. This morning at four I had two papers to write, but I've now narrowed it down to one. The other, I figure, I can write later tonight and still get full credit. Class starts in half an hour, and I've got to put the finishing touches on this fine piece of workmanship.
During the small bit of time I spent in the high school today, I saw her for the first time since last week sometime. She's having lots of trouble, apparently. Something is really wrong. It is part of the routine now to have days when I just have to let her ignore me and cry off by herself or something. Give it a couple days. I need to sort out why I care so ****ing much. It's not like I regret caring or wish I didn't, but it amazes me how much I really do care and yet I very rarely worry even when she's in horrible situations. I figure that's because there have been so many bad situations she acts like it's an everyday thing now. I would like to define these feelings I have for her.
I hope I have time to hang out with most of the youth group krew this week.
Sitting around playing games with friends and being the only one my age with a beer in my hand is a strange feeling.
I an unbelievable amount of respect for this other girl. Could she be any less the typical high school girl? Man we need to hang out more because it's so awesome.
Gah homecoming dance Friday night. Will I subject myself to the worst music in existance and the general "zomg were hiskoolerz" attitude in hopes of getting a little action? I doubt I can stand it, really. I get so ****ed off when they start playing Pour Some Sugar on Me. On the other hand, Promiscuous Girl is so dang catchy. I bet that's the only song they play that I like.
Maybe I can find something more exciting to do that night.
****ing eggnog.
"****, these people posting in italics are really annoying..."