So I ordered Dominos today since I didn't feel like dressing up, and leaving the house. The double fail came when I realized that I had to still dress up to answer the door. This was pretty pain in the *** considering all I had on was a robe, and panties (because it makes me feel special). That and my hair was also messed up, and I smelled like fruits and strawberries (again, because it makes me feel special).
Anyway, by the time the delivery guy came, I remember that stupid You got 30minutes commercial on TV. I decided not to bother with dressing up. I answered the door with my robe half opened, let the breeze blow against my hair, grinned at the guy, and ask the delivery guy, "Guess what I did with my 30 minutes?"
The fat **** that delivered my Pizza didn't even bother walking two steps to give me the pizza. He just put the box on my porch, and asked for the money. Anyway, that two steps thing reminded me of Panic. What a fag.
why did this bring tears to my eyes
<3
Some pretty awkward ****.
I just went to my sister's room, and saw a birthday bag. I figured I might as well give it a try. So I went to the living room where my sister was, and wished her a happy birthday. She told me it wasn't her birthday, and I was a douche for forgetting when her birthday was. Anyway, I still remember that two step thing, so Panic is still a fag.
oh ny
It's still good.
This isn't much of a joke, it's more like a silly thing that happened to me a few months back. You know those stupid jokes that end with a trick question? An example would be, "Are you gay?" and no mater what your answer was, the next question would be, "Does your mother know you're gay? It's these types of stupid jokes I'm talking about, the ones where you're sort of at a lose-lose situation.
A few weeks ago, while waiting for a TV commercial to end, my friend decides to ask me one of those trick joke questions. I don't remember it word for word, but the gist of it was: "Say you're going to a camping trip with a few college roommates, and in the morning after, you wake up with your pants down, and lots of Vaseline smeared all over your anus. Would you tell anyone?" I thought about it for a moment, and replied with, "Though that probably wouldn't happen to me, I don't think I would tell anyone I was butt-raped in the wilderness." After hearing that, he starts giggling and takes it to the next level of retardedness. He asks, "Well, want to go camping with me?"
I what-the-****e to myself, "I can't let this douche pull this douche-beggary on me." So I did the awesomeist (yeah it's a word now) thing that darted into my mind. I held his hand, looked into his eyes, and responded to his offer with, "Yes, I'd love to go camping." The idiot suddenly starts flipping out as if I just told I killed his mother or something. He calls me a faggot and stampedes out of my house.
that was patrick, that black guy right?
man, those niggas always gettin up in yo ****
waifu~~
dude
guess you forgot I have ****** running in my veins, good to know I'm just a pet :(