bees

STORY TIME

FLASHBACK, ABOUT A WEEK AGO:
A friend and I see tons of bees flying out of this hole in the rock wall next to the garage. That evening we take a flashlight and try to see inside, but fail miserably. We spray a little bit of Raid in there, too, but nothing happens.

bees 1
us 0

A FEW HOURS AGO:
The same friend and I went at the rock wall with a vengeance. He moved one big rock that seemed to be covering the nest and really ****ed off the bees, but we still couldn't see any nest at all. He also finished off the can of Raid in the same place as before, and got stung on his ear in the process. A few minutes later I got stung on top of my foot while we were driving to another house.

bees 2
us 0

ABOUT HALF AN HOUR AGO:
We gear up and launch a detailed plan to take out the bees for good. He dons a ninja mask and cape, along with a collared shirt and some thick jeans. I put on a thick coat tied off with a belt followed by gloves and cowboy boots. Each man gets one HUGE can of Raid and we share a flashlight between us. I park my car so the brights light up the entire rock wall and we set to work.

First we moved a few rocks that seemed to be in the way. A handful of bees were upset by this, and we tactically fled until they calmed down. Next, we got in our first good attack of the night. Twenty or so bee carcasses flowed down rivers of poison onto the ground below. A steady rain kept the bees deep in their hexagonal caverns (which we still hadn't found yet). At a loss as to what to do next, we just put a fukken hose in there and washed everything out. Tons of mud and **** came pouring out of every hole in the rocks, and it looked to be a success... Until afterwards I leaned into the rocks and could still hear the sound. BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ HUMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

bees 2
us 1 (?)

I don't know how the hell they could survive the flood of righteousness we poured over them, but they're still in there somewhere. Buzzing. All I know is that entire wall is coming down if that's what it takes to kick some bee *** around here.

The bees have evolved and taken on the endurance of roaches.

sounds like quite an epic battle against nature. I support your attack against these bees! May it lead you to future glory.

you should become the pain

I am Slade's mom! I shall send you to a world of anguish beyond your imagination - the mountains, without bowls! Let's get started!

You'll never destroy my bees! Nyahahahaha!

burn them all

"HOLY ****, MAN"
"WHAT"
"I DEFINITELY HEARD BUZZING"
"OKAY, HERE TURN AROUND... I DON'T SEE ANYTHING"
"I THINK IT'S IN MY CAPE"


So... this is Day 2. In about an hour I'll go see if there is a steady stream of bees flying out of there like usual.

Just pour lighter fuel down the cracks and toss and match down there. Shouldn't be a problem, even if your house is close by. Assuming it's all rocks and nothing burnable like dry grass, etc

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2243176

This.

That was ****ing epic. Holy ****.

Haha wow! I like this guy.

TOMMY GUN

My *** that was amazing.

Pile o' bees is amazing.

Roasted bees. Sounds delicious.

[quote=Vampiro V. Empire;885706]That, or kill the queen.should have expected this from the alien fan

You could always get some sort of expanding foam and spray it into the hole. Those bees won't be coming out ever again.

maybe they're part dog. that might explain it.

get a dog to eat the bees. then he can shoot bees from his mouth. win win.

I dunno. Bees are pretty clever. Except against the powers of fire, I guess.. But a crack somewhere and they'll get out.

Edit: Oh **** this.

****ty pretty house if there's cracks everywhere.

You never know what it looks like on the insides!

Guys, it's his wall, not his house.

So? My walls are hollow. Can hear neighbors ***** or moan pleasurably from time to time. Pretty sure I've heard something inside the walls, too.

houses are usually made out of walls

okay how does any of this relate to the war I'm waging here


Sounds more like people wasting their wasted time on the internet! Apparently the bees are still alive, and I'm almost out of ideas. Somehow they've built a nest where I can't hose it out or spray it with poison, let alone see it.


ARE YOU GONNA LET THEM WIN?!

dusk, can of smoke, move rocks, destroy the **** out of it.

Sounds good, but what's a can of smoke?

Explosives always work. And otherwise I guess you call some sort of pest control and ask them what you can do.

a CAN full of SMOKE

Oh, I was picturing a tin can full of smoke. canada etc.

you can also burn something that gives off a lot of smoke (something damp etc) and toss it near the hive/down the crack in the rocks. Should work just as well.

We have to do this pretty much every year at my house.

Bees are nice when you don't have nests on your property. Can't beat all that pollination they're willing to do FOR FREE! Enjoy my sweet, sweet nectar, my dear bees.

All this talk is making me want to put my hair up in a BEEhive and be cool like Amy Winehouse!

the battle begins... TOMORROW. due to the fact that I totally forgot where they're coming from, and I don't want to rip down more huge rocks than I have to.

you know what was a pretty good movie? Bee Movie.

and buck bumble was a pretty cool game. but bees still suck


also, [IMG]http://images.elfwood.com/art/t/i/tigerpixie/fcbuzzcl2.jpg[/IMG]

**** yes, that was a great N64 game. No clue why I bought it when I was a kid, but I'm glad I did.

Made me laugh for some reason.

But yeah, beyond the BEE WOMAN SEX thing it was a lot better than I would've ever expected. OH JERRY, YOUR COMEDIC DELIVERY MAKES ANYTHING FUNNY

It was so corny it was good.

SWEET BEEMOTHER my foot itches so bad right now. It's all purple and red where I was stung, and pretty much the entire surface is both itchy and numb.

YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS, SCOUNDRELS

I'm dying to know the end of this story, Slade. Give us an update.

I spotted a hornet's nest in the arch outside my front door.

They're taking over.

Edit - also, while playing Mega Man IX, I yelled "BEEEEEEEEEEEEES" like a maniac every time I used Hornet Man's power for any reason.

bloody sploicers

top up yerrr adam

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES


I suppose both sides are now regenerating forces. Neither of us are confined to peace, but we don't have enough to go on, either. I'm in great need of intelligence as to the whereabouts of the nest, and they're probably just breeding an even larger army for the next fight.

As for attack plans, I've considered dumping some gasoline and a damp rag in there and lighting it. I have to decide whether or not I'm going to pull more rocks out of the wall, too. Hopefully tonight I'll be able to find a willing soul to aid me in my... nay, mankind's greatest time of need.

Problem is, I'm not sure where to put the gasoline or the rag. I'll probably end up trying it tonight, anyways.


Don't worry, if my house catches on fire, I'll run in here and post "MY HOUSE IS ON FIRE" before the router melts.

protip: smoke makes bees chill out. try lighting something to create a great deal of smoke around then wall, and you should (no promises here, mang) be able to take rocks out of the wall relatively unhindered. Remember to wear long sleeves and long pants. For added protection, tuck your shirt into your pants, and your pants into your socks. You'll look dumb as all hell, but have an added layer of safety. After doing battle, remember to immediately wash the clothes you wore, just to make sure that any lingering BEEWARRIORS get killed in the wash.

Good lock, and *** speed brother.

CRAZY IDEA: Do this during the daytime :O

video tape it

that's not a bad idea! I'm still trying to recruit warriors for tonight, and I think one of them has a video camera.

"What do you want on your cheeseburger?"

"I'll have some bees...please" *wink*

1 million hit youtube video

you gotta smoke em out so you can safely remove rocks to find the nest

winning a battle is often a matter of superior intel on the enemy. you have to find them to win.

Maybe you should inform your neighbors/fire department if you're going to smoke them out.

maybe he should smoke a bowl and forget about the bees...please.

i support ants suggestion

perhaps getting the bees stoned will be of some service

nooooooot reeeeeaaaaaaaadiiiiiiing thaaaaaaaaaat

well I already read it once but I won't read it agaaaaaiiiiiiin because I'm ignoooooooring iiiiiit

ignoring what, WEED?

[COLOR="Yellow"]Smoke[/COLOR]

[COLOR="Lime"]Smoke[/COLOR]

[COLOR="Red"]Smoke[/COLOR]

[COLOR="Blue"]Smoke[/COLOR]

[COLOR="Magenta"]Smoke[/COLOR]

the rainbow smoke is the most powerful kind

3*10^8 smoke refracted light every day

Just do it, Slade. It'll make you feel better.

dont let your mooooom catch yooou

what you a ****ing beekeeper yeah thought not shut it

got a bee in your bonnet huh

DO HO HO CLEVER

faggot

I'm just waiting for one of you to ask for an update so I can ***** and moan about my friends not taking this situation SERIOUSLY enough.


*bee-tch
**bee-riously

there's an update?

good *** man, out with it

Oh... not really, I haven't done anything with the bees in the last couple days. BUT MY FRIENDS SUCK

okay hypothetical situation: you're recruited to fight a war. suddenly you don't hear about the war for a couple days. WOULDN'T YOU ASK SOME QUESTIONS??!

so either they don't understand there's a war going on, or I didn't make it clear that they're recruits in this war.

just tell them you're goin out and waging war on bees. surely they will follow if they value their lives

Who needs friends to **** up some bees. You a wimp or something? Need backup? BOO HOO

Rule 53. You a wimp or something? Need backup? BOO HOO

I'd be alright with that, but every time I make up a new rule I'm still calling it #53 since that's what we've been on for so long.

yeah? huh

why not do it with your new girlfriend? i think that would actually be a pretty ballin first date

YES. BEE HUNTING ON THE FIRST DATE

UNFORGETTABLE

Who knows, maybe his chick likes to hunt bees!

try putting some bees in her panties. i hear they like that.

I can almost feel the stings myself. :(

[youtube=6dQa_HpZn34]6dQa_HpZn34[/youtube]

bees on crotch

This is your future, Slade.

Jesus, why?

have you never seen that show before or something? The best.

so slade's future is a boner-off? that's pretty badass.

haha that was the first episode of Kenny VS Spenny I saw. I love that show. Makes me laugh everytime.

Glad to see it's just as retarded as I thought it was based on the commercials!

How could you not think that show is funny? Man.

vamp gets huge boner looking at huge man muscle tits

what show is that anyway?

kenny vs. spenny iircwipd

What the hell happened to the bees anyway?

They're still in there. Can't see myself doing anything to them until after this weekend, though, since it's raining and cold. I need a good hot day to figure out where they're coming from.

also, my dad emailed me like "use POISON POWDER" so I might end up doing that. venusaur OUT

i'm becoming the lord of spam

not quite doodads yet.

whoa wait whats going on?

ONE OF US

ONE OF US

soon you shall enjoy the wonders of nerdrage and machinery, which combine into the fine art of DOODADS.

Hey guys, we're all very intelligent men here. Let's solve this dispute with introspective, intellectual discussion.

NERD

hey matt miller what time is it

0830

half past eight a m

does that make you angry matt

it's 8:30. there's no oh-eight about it

You know how people say 0800 as OH800 and los was all YOU HAVE TO CLARIFY WHETHER IT'S A ZERO OR AN O OTHERWISE PEOPLE DIE? kinda funny they say it that way then.

actually, navy doesnt say OH EIGHT.

its zero eight. because otherwise people might die.

edit: i think you'll find that most of the time you hear people do that theyre in the army, a branch which does a remarkable job of getting killed. I rest my case.

Here I assumed matt miller would come in like "oh yeah lol, I remember when I regurgitated that RIGHT after they drilled it into me... people dying... oh lol"

Little did I know...

can we please talk about bees again. like how they can lift a plane up?

fun fact: according to science bees should be aerodynamically unable to fly!

We've all watched Bee Movie thanks.

I was just gonna say that! BEE MOVIE IS BASED OFF ACTUAL EVENTS

i have never seen bee movie

i am so ****ing sick of CG kids movies

yes. it did.

it also had a hot shower scene.

Made me think of Mafia and the sheep.

EVERY TIME

I'll have some bees...please.

Linko Sixteen (6:51:50 PM): someone on ZP was talking about firing "hornets" at people, which I guess is a piece of paper shaped into an arrowhead and made deadly by adding layers of tape.
Linko Sixteen (6:52:06 PM): I did the only thing I could do
Linko Sixteen (6:52:07 PM): http://www.zeldapower.com/forum/showpost.php?p=793130&postcount=13
Dystorce (6:54:39 PM): BEEEEEEEEEEEES

Well I lol'd. Pretty good powerup if I do say so myself.

your avatar is scary linko

Doesn't look all too happy.

In the night, when the lights go out, just imagine that face.

Raping you.

In the night, firing up your gomtv.net player, just imagine that face...

FLAAAAAAAAAAASH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GORDON! Saviour of the Universe.

if anyone is ****ed off post here

deku nut scrub

Yeah, we're going through an even more retarded time than usual over at ZP. Some new members who are either trolls or retarded six-year-olds are spamming everywhere, and the administration, since they insist that ZP is a "friendly message forum open to anyone," won't get rid of them.

That's why I don't join other forums anymore. They all suck.

ESPECIALLY Zelda Power. wow.

i used to bounce between four forums at the peak of my posting career, now i'm down to just VGC and SA

I've always been a two or three forum guy. Now I'm down to one and occasionally lurk a couple others.

Thing is is that ZP is my one other forum, and even though it's falling apart right now, I don't just want to up and leave all my other friends there. I kinda wish they'd, like, immigrate over here so I could ditch that place.

Sounds like polar opposites these two forums. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT

Yeah, basically.

Baaaaaaaaaaw.

Idk, some people might actually get along around here.

tell them to join and see what happens.

OR MAYBE I'LL JOIN THERE AND TURN IT INTO HERE YEAH

Vamp the Corrupter.

NO VAMPIRO MUST REMAIN EXCLUSIVE


or we could trade him for a retarded 6-year-old

same post quality amirite

haha zing

yeah, seems you're right

Yesss, I will invite all VGC-compatible ZPers over here.

Rules of Entry:
You must be at least twenty years old.
You may not be in any way entertained by XKCD.

I think that covers everyone desirable on ZeldaPower.

XKCD, a humorless webcomics written by and for pretentious nerds. WAY too many people on ZP are totally enthralled by it.

http://www.xkcd.com/

EDIT - Okay, it's not humorless, but the general douchebag feeling the comic has and the amount of douchebag fans it has makes it generally hard for me to like.

[IMG]http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/going_west.png[/IMG]


holy **** this is terrible

bahahahaha that was ****ing great

not. ****ing. funny.

you're 19. which is basically 20.

fuuuuuuuuuuuuck

also yeah xkcd gets fellated by every idiot in my CS course who thinks they're ****ing awesome. though one fella who loves it had this exchange with a professor the other day:

prof: 'yeah, so we edit this variable here to change the line's width...'
dick: 'THAT'S INCONCIEVEABLE, A LINE CANNOT HAVE A WIDTH'
prof: 'uh.' *adds variable and runs program*
*line gets thicker*

fuuuuck you

How could a line not have width. I don't get it.

a line is defined as a collection of points arranged in a perfectly linear pattern. points have no dimensions, ergo no width, ergo a collection of them has no width.

technically, geometrically the kid is right. he is also, however, a total ****wit moron.

oh, math

well math is stupid

agreed. if only because matt miller has ruined it for me.

Math is the bane of human society, and religion its savior. Praise G[COLOR="black"]o[/COLOR]d, dissenters be d[COLOR="black"][COLOR="black"]am[/COLOR][/COLOR]ned.

quivering with rage and lust

the two are unrelated.

Wonder if g[COLOR="White"]o[/COLOR]d would be mad if you prayed to him in math...

"Dear ***. I divide thee by zero."

just like I like him.

***s kind of a dick in the old testament

It's a different ***.

same ***, just cared back then. Think of it as a mod here at VGC. At first they try to do good, be kind and respectful, then they get annoyed with all the garbage and **** floating around so they go on a massive clean-up spree, only to see it all return days later and that nothing changed expect people are ticked off at you. You may try it again, you may not, but eventually you just say "**** this I'm outta here" and just don't give a **** about the place anymore.

That's where ***'s at right now.

he's to earth as iris is to vgc

So some people don't believe Iris exists, and other people believe certain members have her powers and worship them?

Will SOMEBODY please think of the bees!

i like bees. bees have eyes.

MANY eyes.

lord sauron has many spies

many spies with MANY eyes

MANLY EYES

He's just compensating, since he himself only has one, despite it's MANLY SIZE.

brace for ****ty pun

IT COULD ALSO BE SAID THAT HE KEPT HIS EYES ON THE PRIZE

Lies.

salmon

are fished for with FLIES