Ask a Sailor




Posted by Lord of Spam

So about a week late, I'm going to jump on the "ask..." bandwagon with something that none of the other faggots can offer: the military view.

Ask anything you want, and I'll answer (ask a stupid question, expect a stupid answer). Some things to keep in mind: I'm in the navy. Dont ask me about the army/airforce/marines. I dont know about them, I'm not in them. Feel free to ask about what I do for the navy, but dont expect too many specifics, because most of what I do is classified (before anyone asks the obvious, I'm a mechanic on nuclear powerplants). I haven't been in terribly long (even though it feels like it [little over a year to be specific]).

So, any questions?




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

marines have oorah, army has hooah, what does the boat force have?




Posted by Lord of Spam

hooyah

also, boat refers to a vessel which is incapable of ocean travel*, ships are vessles which are large enough, sturdy enough, and stable enough for open ocean travel. The coast guard has boats, we have ships.

*subs are also called boats as a joke that they arent seaworthy. go figure




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

wow, you boat force fags sure got the short end of the stick with those chants, eh?




Posted by Lord of Spam

Nobody really uses them all that much. Its more of a "oh hey something kinda nice happened, sarcasm mode engaged" HOOYAH




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

so when do you start flying some subs for months at a time? Ever?




Posted by Lord of Spam

Ive got about 5 months left in prototype. At the end of that I'll be qualified as a full radiation worker and allowed to stand watch on any nuke vessel in the navy. I've requested orders for fast attack subs stations mostly in pearl harbor or guam, so chances are i'll be somewhere very warm this time next year; either on a lovely beach, or in a 110 degree engine room.




Posted by Shade

how gay does your uniform look? scale of 1-10




Posted by cool gamer dad

what would you say to someone who's considering their nuclear program, out of my own interest and because I know a guy who's thinking about it.

like, the good, the ****ty. THE WORKS.




Posted by Bj Blaskowitz

does wearing that goofy white uniform around town (the one with the neckerchief) get you laid? Because sailors always seem to wear that **** out to bars.




Posted by BLUNTMASTER X

how does it feel to be the marines taxi service




Posted by Lord of Spam


Quoting Shade: how gay does your uniform look? scale of 1-10


http://www.vgchat.com/showthread.php?t=29876
you decide, but see below for more information


Quoting cats: what would you say to someone who's considering their nuclear program, out of my own interest and because I know a guy who's thinking about it.like, the good, the ****ty. THE WORKS.


be prepared for lots and lots and lots of school. seriously, lots. It can be kinda rough in terms of never having any free time, and in terms of how much information you have to cram down your throat to make it, but overall its pretty rewarding. If you think you can handle EXTREME delayed satisfaction (I didnt really start enjoying it until about half way through powerschool, about 6 months in) then rock out. As for boot camp advice: shut up, do what you're told. Thats all it takes. Do that and its the easiest and possibly most fun 8 weeks ever.

Oh, and you get paid ****tons of money. My enlistment bonus was $16k (and that number has gone up now) and I'm now making $35k a year, half of which isnt taxable. Not too shabby.



Quoting Bj Blaskowitz: does wearing that goofy white uniform around town (the one with the neckerchief) get you laid? Because sailors always seem to wear that **** out to bars.


Very yes.


Quoting The X: how does it feel to be the marines taxi service


The modern US navy is the single most powerful fighting force the world has seen. One trident missile submarine has enough nuclear payload to end the world. We have quite a few. Air craft carriers are floating 4acre juggernauts of death and destruction, capable of controlling zones of engagement the size of some large western states by themselves. Plus, marines are ****ing stupid.



Posted by Vampiro V. Empire


Quoted post: and I'm now making $35k a year,


What will you be making if all goes to plan?



Posted by Lord of Spam

well, depends on what i do. If I go ocs (officer candidate school) and keep my nose on the grindstone, 6 figures easy, with a 50% retirement after 20 years. If I end up a master chief (more likely) then its around a hundred grand a year (50% again after twenty).

Full payscales can be found [url=http://www.navycs.com/2008-military-pay-chart.html]here[/url]. These figures may seem lower than what I'm talking about, and they are. Thats because this doesnt take into account basic allowance for housing ($1000 a month for me) or basic allowance for sustenance ($250/month). It also does not take into account things like hazardous duty pay, combat pay, submarine service pay, etc.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

Wait, they give you money for food and shelter? Unexpected.




Posted by BLUNTMASTER X

do you guys have a gangplank




Posted by Dexter

Don't go to Guam. It sucks, especially compared to Hawaii. It takes 3 days to grow tired of Guam, unless you're seriously captivated with the G-Spot (strip club). ewww

Anyway, if you're subs, you'll most likely go to Pearl, since they have more subs. Try to get attached to the USS La Jolla 701. It's about to get back from a west pac and be in dry dock for an entire year! This is good if you don't want to go out to sea right away. Also, if you get Pearl, then you won't be far from where Raptor and myself live. Happy times, hooyah!

By the way, the Navy uniforms about to change to something more military like. I believe this change is supposed to happen before the end of the year. Can you confirm this for me?

Are you going to be a lifer?

Do you have a Togetherweserve membership?

When do you get your orders?




Posted by Lord of Spam


Quoting Dexter: Don't go to Guam. It sucks, especially compared to Hawaii. It takes 3 days to grow tired of Guam, unless you're seriously captivated with the G-Spot (strip club). ewww


Well, I was thinking of guam as my unmber one slot, but maybe i'll hit up pearl instead.


Quoting Dexter: Anyway, if you're subs, you'll most likely go to Pearl, since they have more subs. Try to get attached to the USS La Jolla 701. It's about to get back from a west pac and be in dry dock for an entire year! This is good if you don't want to go out to sea right away.


Nukes tend to get ***-slammed in dry dock. Most of our equipment cant be accessed while operational (since its encased in ****tons of shielding) so we do all of our work while in dock. SO **** that noise.


Quoting Dexter: Also, if you get Pearl, then you won't be far from where Raptor and myself live. Happy times, hooyah!


Maybe I will stick to Guam.


Quoting Dexter: By the way, the Navy uniforms about to change to something more military like. I believe this change is supposed to happen before the end of the year. Can you confirm this for me?


They've been about to change for ever. Nobody knows what the **** is going on. The new uniforms look stupid.


Quoting Dexter: Are you going to be a lifer?


Cant honestly say yet. If things keep going as well as they have, I could see myself doing 30 (75% percent retirement **** YEAH).


Quoting Dexter: Do you have a Togetherweserve membership?


nope


Quoting Dexter: When do you get your orders?


about 5 months



Posted by Kendra, Warrior Babe

What state is your power plant in?
((Because I have this sinking fear that you work with my father...))




Posted by S

I ran into some guy at a gay bar (Girlfriends best friend is gay. Finally met him, etc etc.) that was IN THE NAVY. How's that work out? Gay, navy, all that jazz.




Posted by Klarth

Do you know where the clitoris is located?




Posted by Lord of Spam

[QUOTE=S




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

Never did understand that. Well, I partially understand it in the way that some gays would be like "WHOA BUDDY" but to actually disallow gay people? idk. They got blacks, so why not gays.




Posted by Klarth

I bet you wanted to see what was written here, didn't you? Bite my dick.




Posted by Lord of Spam


Quoting Kendra, Warrior Babe: What state is your power plant in?
((Because I have this sinking fear that you work with my father...))


I do no work at a nuclear power plant. I work on a nuclear submarine. Bit of a difference.


Quoting Vampiro V. Empire: Never did understand that. Well, I partially understand it in the way that some gays would be like "WHOA BUDDY" but to actually disallow gay people? idk. They got blacks, so why not gays.


Its got to do with sexual harrasment, etc. Men and women have to have seperate quarters and heads for that reason, so if the military sticks its fingers in its ears and goes LALALA I CANT HEAR YOU about gays, it doesnt have to do anything about it. That and its just a holdover from when there were no blacks. THats my guess anyway.

buffet



Posted by BLUNTMASTER X

who is the resident slut who's ****ed everyone on your lil dinky sub




Posted by Tyler Durden

Stupid question: Have you ever gotten drunk and tried to eat cereal from your sailor hat?

Smart question: Why do they pin your last names to the rear of your utilities ("work blues")?

Why is it a smart idea to keep your pillow/bed dress in your foot locker while away from quarters?

Are you afraid of having irradiated genitalia?

Who has made passes at/hit on you more while in port/bars; men or women?




Posted by Lord of Spam


Quoting The X: who is the resident slut who's ****ed everyone on your lil dinky sub


there are no sluts that i have come across, though for the record in the fleet submarines are all male. Women are forced to serve on the surface fleet.


Quoting Tyler Durden: Stupid question: Have you ever gotten drunk and tried to eat cereal from your sailor hat?

Smart question: Why do they pin your last names to the rear of your utilities ("work blues")?

Why is it a smart idea to keep your pillow/bed dress in your foot locker while away from quarters?

Are you afraid of having irradiated genitalia?

Who has made passes at/hit on you more while in port/bars; men or women?


1)No, but now I probably will. Thanks, *******.
2)Not sure, but I would guess so that if you need to shout someones name for something important you can know what it is easier (work environments on a sub are mother ****ing hazardous as ****).
3)no. While deployed on a submarine, I will recieve less radiation than you will. I have craptons (exact amount probbaly classified, not sure) of shielding between me and the one source of radiation. You have nothing blocking the sun. Enjoy:cookie:
4)I have not been hit on by a guy since joining the navy, oddly enough. I would occasionally get it before I joined, but now that I'm in, nothing. Though that might have something to do with the fact that I'm located in a far more redneck area.



Posted by Tyler Durden

[quote=Lord of Spam;886115]
1)
2)
3)
4)

I believe I asked 5.. No, FIVE questions?!




Posted by Lord of Spam

Oh, right, the pillow thing. Only things I can think of is the typical "stow for sea" thing, and the less official "because people will **** with your ****" reason. Havent really heard that, so I cant say.




Posted by Tyler Durden

Well, a few vets told me after basic that it was because; "people will **** with your ****", but more likely they'll use your pillow to fap on to pictures of their boyfriends, and your bed dressing just needs to be stowed to keep their dirty sweaty sailor asses off of.




Posted by Klarth

Do you know where the clitoris is located?

(note: this question is not directed at solrok, his level 38 anime valkyrie swordmaster heretic, his grand spear of ragnarok, his underworld slayer of the apocalypse, his shield of darkness, his breastplate of light, his autogynephilia, his




Posted by Lord of Spam

above the entrance to the vagina, covered by a kyoot little hood

i know, because your mother did me the favor of showing me hers




Posted by Kutlass

Should I join the NAVY or the Air Force? No biased response pls.




Posted by Tyler Durden

If you're a complete dumbass?

Best to just play it safe and go with the Marines or Army, if you're not sure on how to answer that.




Posted by BLUNTMASTER X

shoop the woop, why so serious and that's racist

****ing hell tyler you hit a new low buddy




Posted by Lord of Spam


Quoting Kaptain Kutlass: Should I join the NAVY or the Air Force? No biased response pls.


...First of all, its impossible for me not to be biased. If I thought that the air force was a better choice, I would have joined it.

Second, it depends heavily on you. If you cant decide which is a better choice, go look into both. Talk to recruiters from both branches, get materials from them, and look over that. Then, go do independant research. See which looks better, and make a choice.

Just dont take everything recruiters say for 100% truth. They have quotas to meet, and while they wont lie, they will mislead. make sure you read your contract carefully, maybe even ask for a copy to take to a lawyer or something.

Whatever you do, just keep in mind that its a decision that will cahnge your life for several years at least. Dont rush into it, and make sure that its what you want for SURE before you join.



Posted by Tyler Durden

[quote=Lord of Spam;886814]...First of all, its impossible for me not to be biased. If I thought that the air force was a better choice, I would have joined it.

Second, it depends heavily on you. If you cant decide which is a better choice, go look into both. Talk to recruiters from both branches, get materials from them, and look over that. Then, go do independant research. See which looks better, and make a choice.

Just dont take everything recruiters say for 100% truth. They have quotas to meet, and while they wont lie, they will mislead. make sure you read your contract carefully, maybe even ask for a copy to take to a lawyer or something.

Whatever you do, just keep in mind that its a decision that will cahnge your life for several years at least. Dont rush into it, and make sure that its what you want for SURE before you join.

You forgot to mention to seek a possible mentor of past military experience for a second opinion on the matter, LoS.
For me I chose three; one an older personal/casual friend, another being an old relative, and the last- my best friend. It's hard to get a biased answer when you hear it three times from different worlds.

And yes, most recruiters will lie through their bloody teeth (or try to butter your balls) to get you in the sack with their respective branches. Mine took me out to a lobster dinner on the second visit.

[quote=The X;886609]shoop the woop, why so serious and that's racist

****ing hell tyler you hit a new low buddy
I love you too, Xy..
[spoiler]**hint* Imma too lazzy to editz mah profilez..[/spoiler]




Posted by Y2kMISFIT

This thread is as pointless as a screen door on a submarine... HAHhah.ha....hah..ha...ha??




Posted by Tyler Durden

[quote=Y2kMISFIT;886819]This thread is as pointless as a screen door on a submarine... HAHhah.ha....hah..ha...ha??

Says the guy that faps to pictures of old people gettin' crunk!




Posted by Lord of Spam

there are actually numerous screens on subs.

...they just happen to serve as filters for seawater inlets :D




Posted by s0ul

are there really yellow submarines and if so did the beatles live in them




Posted by Lord of Spam

I am sure that there was, at one point in the earth's history, a yellow submersible.

I am equally sure that the beatles never lived in it. Stupid hippies would never be able to get that **** to work.




Posted by Tyler Durden

[quote=Lord of Spam;887050]I am sure that there was, at one point in the earth's history, a yellow submersible.

I am equally sure that the beatles never lived in it. Stupid hippies would never be able to get that **** to work.

But stupid RICH hippies would be able to get some other, technologically educated dumbass to do.
amirite




Posted by Slade

Are subs designed to be sunk without the nukes aboard going off, or is it sort of an "all-in" deal? I mean, if one gets sunk by torpedoes or something, will there doubtlessly be a freaking huge explosion when it happens?

or do nukes not even work that way




Posted by Lord of Spam

not even close. They arent armed all the time, and there are interlocks and safeguards to prevent accidental detonations.

There ARE, however, proceedures to jettison a missle underwater without launching it if need be. Sorta a banking dive, pressurize the tube, and pop the top.

Its sorta like sharting a bomb :/




Posted by Tyler Durden

****-farting a bomb sounds fairly painful..




Posted by Ant

too much fight club




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

do you know the launch codes for the nukes? Will you ever?




Posted by Klarth

Is there such a thing as a launch code?




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

I have to assume so. Nukes have always had launch codes as far as I'm aware. I just can't imagine there being a little button you have to press to end the world.




Posted by BLUNTMASTER X

i was always under the impression it was a bunch of keys that had to be turned simultaneously so nobody could do it alone




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

launch codes plus keys. that was my impression




Posted by Tyler Durden

[quote=Vampiro V. Empire;887810]do you know the launch codes for the nukes? Will you ever?


WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT METAL GEAR!?
[youtube=ecG5rijJQUk]ecG5rijJQUk[/youtube]




Posted by Lord of Spam


Quoting Vampiro V. Empire: do you know the launch codes for the nukes? Will you ever?


no, and no. I work with nuclear propulsion. Bombs just take a ****load of nuclear power and splooge it all at once. I make that **** last for mother ****ing YEARS.


Quoting netman: Is there such a thing as a launch code?


Dont know, think so


Quoting Vampiro V. Empire: I have to assume so. Nukes have always had launch codes as far as I'm aware. I just can't imagine there being a little button you have to press to end the world.


probably, though a button labeled "end world" would be pretty awwright



Posted by Bj Blaskowitz

do you feel more confined during anal sex romps with your buddies on ship as opposed to on shore leave? Yes or no, please, I don't care for trivial irrelevancies.




Posted by Lord of Spam


Quoting Bj Blaskowitz: do you feel more confined during anal sex romps with your buddies on ship as opposed to on shore leave? Yes or no, please, I don't care for trivial irrelevancies.


i dont need shipmates, my memories of your mother are enough

supplementary edit: technically there are females stationed on the same boat as me currently (several of which are actually attractive!), so you're going to have to be more specific if you're trying to call me gay ;)



Posted by Vampiro V. Empire


Quoted post: no, and no. I work with nuclear propulsion. Bombs just take a ****load of nuclear power and splooge it all at once. I make that **** last for mother ****ing YEARS.


What do you do to make it last?



Posted by Lord of Spam

limit chain reactions, essentially. we intentionally design the core so that its loaded with things that poison the fission chain reactions.

note: this is getting kinda close to stuff i probably cant talk about. There is [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pressurized_water_reactor]a wiki about it[/url] if you're interested, but it is HORRIBLY simplified. Then again, Ive spend a year now studying this, so maybe thats just my take :cookie:

edit: this one also contains a (yet again, very simple) discussion of the poisons i alluded to. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nuclear_reactor_physics#Reactor_poisons




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

Is the Navy tracking everything you do?




Posted by Lord of Spam

No, but on the off chance that there is somehow a report that I'm disclosing classified information, I would be hammer fucked.




Posted by BLUNTMASTER X

would you get the firing squad for betraying our great nation in *** we trust




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

Delete any reference to your name and images of yourself. How would they know it was you?




Posted by Klarth

not really sure they'd have quite the resources to go after some dude posting on a video game message board

get behind seven proxies and tell us all you know




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

They'd need to find this place first. Good luck with that!




Posted by Tyler Durden

[quote=Vampiro V. Empire;888389]They'd need to find this place first. Good luck with that!
True that.
Nearly everytime after the great haxors, it takes me three good googlin's to hit this place up again..lest I has good bookmarks saved.




Posted by Lord of Spam

I have no doubt I would never get caught. I'm just not willing to do it because

a)IF on the ****ing bajillion to one chance i got caught, HAMMER TIME
b)it IS classified for a reason. you ****ers dont need to know it.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

what would happen? Go to military prison for life?




Posted by Tyler Durden

[quote=Vampiro V. Empire;888463]what would happen? Go to military prison for life?
You should play the military/Army sim game they hand out when recruiters try to get you to join. I shot my drill instructor in the face on the combat firing range, and I had to stay in the brig for the 14 hours I left my pc on until I rebooted it. Curiosity eh..

Oh, and LoS-
[URL]http://www.stripes.com/article.asp?section=104&article=31111&archive=true[/URL]
I think you're in the clear...so far.




Posted by BLUNTMASTER X

oh come on dude you gotta spill the beans




Posted by Tyler Durden

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE BEANS!!