just post any joke you thought was funny
"I think the NES is the best Console there is. One reason: if it won't work, all you have to do is blow in it!"
"Umm... I don't know what the weight is.... and I don't know what girth means... so what's the procedure now?" from Brian Regan's "I Walked on the Moon" DVD.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=8ZHt9pbGzvk
"this dude got hit my a car, which was a dodge by the way. I thought that was pretty ironic." by Dane Cook.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvJFcgTXnCc
"What are these? They're orange...oranges! Well then what are these? Oh $#17! Long-pointies?" by Demitri Martin.
I wrote a script and gave it to a guy that reads scripts. And he read it and said he really likes it, but he thinks I need to rewrite it. I said, "**** that, I'll just make a copy." - Mitch Hedberg.
"You're a comedian, tell me a joke! You're fat, eat some food!"
"If I wanted to fucking read, I'd pick a book up. Television is supposed to exist so I can play with my nutsack and not have to think about a damn thing."
Lewis Black
"Have hot pockets for breakfast, hot pockets for lunch, and be dead by dinner. Dead pockets!" by Jim Gaffigan.