Just a mess of things video games teach you. Talked to Linko about this, and he said it seemed like a fun idea to put it in General Gaming.
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[LIST]A mute can take on armies and attract fame and followers better than anyone else.
[*]Escorted people want to die.
[*]Your enemies will patiently wait for several minutes for you and your companions to decide your next course of action. You will unwittingly return this favor.
[*]Touching medical kits or eating food heals compound fractures and bullet wounds.
[*]Law enforcement will kill you at the drop of a hat for minor infractions.
[*]Professional soldiers are no match for young upstart teenagers.
[*]A man is a miserable little pile of secrets.
[*]Room full of enemies? Trying to snipe one? Whoops, they all immediately know where you are and can aim directly at you within .5 seconds of the killing shot.
[*]Everything dies after hitting it 3 times, regardless of location.
[*]You know that huge, indestructible enemy that's currently beating your skull in? Aim for the magical glowing red spot on its back/stomach/forehead and it will die instantly.
[*]The very tool that I need to defeat the colossal evil creature at the end of a dungeon is always located in said dungeon for no adequately explored reason.
[*]If you go around a corner then double back on yourself, all of the dead bodies in the previous room vanish.
[*]The universe can only handle up to 20 bullet holes at a time.
[*]The general public like to repeat themselves when prompted.
[*]It's perfectly safe and normal for ten year olds to venture out into the harsh, unforgiving wilderness with nothing but a pet and a digital encyclopedia.
[*]Wild animals, even hundreds of miles from any human settlement or trace of civilization, will be carrying large amounts of gold and miscellaneous pieces of armor, weaponry, and magical artifacts.
[*]The strength of armor designed for females is inversely proportional to its surface area.
[*]If you're an evil lord and one day you want to slaughter a village for ****s and giggles, you better make sure you take out the adolescent do-gooder youths first.
[*]Poison doesn't do anything if you stand still.
[*]Being confused causes you to repeatedly punch yourself in the face.
[*]You can survive multiple gunshots to the chest, neck, and groin, but if a small-caliber bullet nicks your ear, you're dead.
[*]All females are either generally attractive, romantically interested in you, or senile old sorceresses.
[*]How powerful you are is directly related to how many belts and/or zippers you wear. If no belts and/or zippers are present, then you had better be fruitier than a banana daiquiri.
[*]Breaking into strangers houses, smashing their pottery, and looting their stuff is usually responded to by giving the offender advice or comments about how the king seems odd these days.
[*]A sword that kills your whole party with the wind from its swing will invariably do 10-15 damage when looted from the boss's corpse.
[*]Some bosses may be capable of taking over the world or destroying planets, but they will always be reduced to just two or three predictable, moderately weak attacks when you fight them.
[*]A gigantic robot/golem/dragon stepping on your entire party at once and visibly crushing them into the ground will still only do a few points of damage if you've got armor on.
[*]An enemy must be within 5 feet of another enemy to notice death or loud gun noises.[/LIST]
I learned nearly everything about tennis from Mario Tennis on the GBC.
No matter how much you do to help a city, they'll still charge for inn service.
Human-like bosses are always 3-4x taller than you.
Age and height will never be determining factors in bra size.
All items are weightless and can be concealed effortlessly.
You can't use magic AND have muscles.
Staying in water for 5 seconds is more deadly than gunshots, bombs, and stabs to the face.
No matter how much power you have, you will never be able to jump over that waist-high fence or blow up that locked door.
Spikes kill you, even if you fall between them.
Hell, poke so much as the harmless side of one and you will ****ING EXPLODE.
Mine cart tracks are always constructed in very impractical yet entertaining ways.
The only way to pass an arrangement of small rocks is to solve an intricate puzzle spanning over 5 maps.
Vampires can be killed with garlic, sunlight, stakes through the heart, and whips, apparently.
Important items will glow or sparkle, even with no visible light source.
Anything that doesn't glow or sparkle? You won't even be able to touch it.
Turning on the news will allow you to hear the story you need right from the beginning, without having to wait for it to repeat.
A good night's sleep at an inn is all you need to recover from crippling injuries and poisoning, and if anyone with you is dead, they'll be alive when you wake up in the morning.
People tend to know only one or two sentences.
People don't mind when others are breaking and entering.
Shops can stay in business with 3 different items.
Shops only need YOU as a customer to stay in business.
You can never just let **** work itself out.
Saving the princess doesn't guarentee getting in the sack.
If you stomp on a small animal, you'll get a giant gold coin!
Entering a pipe can lead you halfway across the world.
Bottomless pits always loop back to the beginning of the room.
Turtle shells are naturally slippery and fatal while in motion.
In the future, high-tech doors will be triggered by weapon fire. If you lack the proper weaponry, you're ****ed.
The secrets of resurrection are held in objects shaped like your head.
I learned I'm really good a Solitaire.
If you've been shot a couple of times, you'll be perfectly healthy again as long as you sit in a corner and suck your thumb for a few seconds.
When getting shot, you will see red regions that point to the direction of the shooter.
My princess will always be in another castle. :(
If you die, you can go back to just before when you died and try something else.
You can tell how happy a person is by the color of the crystal over their head.
Yellow camouflage works against a rock even if the enemy is 2 feet away from you.
Smoking INSTANTLY reduces your health.
Smashing a car into a building at top speed harms you in no way what so ever.
The man who taught you every thing you know is killed by a ******* with a wooden stick within 2 minutes of your first mission.
That same man is also the bad guy.
Stores have unlimited money to buy the stuff you want to sell... no matter how hard they say times are.
A pistol can blow up a tank if you shoot it enough times.
The cake is a lie.
I've yet to play it.
When online, all teammates are potential enemies.
crates, Crates, CRates, CRAtes, CRATes, CRATEs, CRATES!
Wherever you go, just look for a crate.
Messing with old oriental men with long white beards is not conducive to a long, healthy life.
If you think you might die soon, just look for big slabs of gold that have your last name spelled out on them.
Finding a dismembered head that resembles your own grants you another chance at life.
Eating mushrooms and wild fauna is a good idea.
Once you've completed something, dispose of all the equipment you used, even though one day you may need it again.
I hear it's amazing when the famous purple stuffed worm in flap-jaw space with the tuning fork does a raw blink on Hara-Kiri Rock. I need scissors! 61!
If I suck my enemies into my mouth I am able to obtain their special abilities.
Insanely intricate and advanced circuitry for a biological supercomputer can be repaired by firing a beam of concentrated plasma at it.
No matter how much you die, you can always start over. <3
If your ever confronted by a monsterous bio-wepon that is hunting for a specific viral compound, wait for a shadowy figure to throw a machine gun to you.
If a girl character is flat at the beginning, she will have at least C cups by the end of the game.
Don't forget that girls always know all of the healing magic, too, whereas some guys may only know the basic one, but will always know Fire.
Yeah, dude. Girls always excel at wisdom and intelligence and guys always excel at combat and athletics. Just like irl!
All Rhino looking creatures explode if you poke them enough
There are tubes everywhere.
If you enter the right phone number into your cell phone, cars, weapons, and armor will fall like manna from the sky!
if I swing my sword at a watermelon suddenly hundreds will appear out of no where
no matter how much I shoot a wall , the wall will always heal its wounds
A spider with sneakers jumps realy high.
A ticked off rhino will not hurt you...
DON'T STEAL A MONKEY'S BANANA!
so long as I'm on an adventure, I don't have to eat, sleep, or drink.
Enjoy torturing chickens for a bit, but beware... they are organized and will strike back.
No matter how many monsters I slay with a sword, puncture with quivers of arrows, blow up, watch them fall to thier death, or run over with a horse, I'll never see a drop of blood...
I do a sumersault to temporarily gain invunerability...
I jump on or shoot a fireball at a waking brown mushroom with eyes and a mouth to kill it.
A dollar buys an extra life.
If you find yourself stranded on a strange planet, don't worry. All aliens speak perfect English and accept your currency.
If your ray gun says "Click!" instead of "BANG!" you might want to drop it and retreat to a bomb shelter.
Bug-catching nets repel evil magic.
That japanese-designed 18-year-old-looking chick? She's 12, and might have a penis.
A single missile inside a glowing orange canister somehow allows you to carry five additional missiles at all times.
There is money in grass , rocks , and pottery...
RE4 lessons:
If the president's daughter ever got kidnapped, the president would only send one agent...just one.
Cults don't believen fire-arms, but catapults and cross bows are ok.
Zombies will charge at you from a distance, but will start walking slowely once they get close.
Teenage girls resort to being a ***** during times of crisis, regardless of how scared they should be from pending possible death.
Amunition is just scattered all over small villages.
Helicopters will only land in places you know you can't get to in time.
All the evil plans shouldn't be in a safety deposit box, or in a locked desk, or destroyed shortly after being read, exc. They should always be out in the open.
Evil parasite cults really liked the slave digging scenes in Indian Jones: Temple of Doom.
You can catch fish in a bottle with one swing...
Arrows keep going forever and ever when shot at the sky......
You can swim in water forever....
People don't freak out when you walk in their house.......
You can glide if you jump off a building while holding a chicken above your head......
Shops sell bombs to kids......
Change to wearing blue to breath underwater...
Change to reading red to survive heat stroke...
See that shield you're usin'? Notice any dents in it? No? There you go: Shield no longer get dented.
A boomerang is considered lethal...
The one thing that games have instilled in me is that I am capable of overcoming any challenge if I put my mind to it. It might not be realistic or particularly healthy, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
No matter how many times you stab someone in the face, they will never die unless you've stabbed them a certain amount of times
mushrooms make you bigger, turtles are much more dangerous than one would think, and plumbers are very heroic
no matter how many times you kill or defeat the villain in your local area, he always comes back the next day,week,month, or year just to have you beat him again
life depends on 3 gold triangles
i learned how to use a sword
never make plumbers angry, especially if they're italion
i learned how to fly a plane
aliens are real
zombies, vampires, and witches are real too
i learned how to slow, stop, or reverse time
i also learned how to dance, sing, or play an instrument
oh, and if i ever get shot, stabbed, or hurt in any way, all i have to do is go to sleep and i'm all better, especially if i was poisoned
the odds are 200-1;NOT A PROBLEM
The Government will allow children to have pocket monsters that could easilly kill thousands, but handguns are still a no no.
Happy enemies are more dangerous and move more quickly than normal enemies. [spoiler]/princess peach ds[/spoiler]
your hero may sometimes be a pansy, emo, or just very depressing..
never ever be alarmed when an animal talks to you
All stores are open 24/7 and never take a holiday break.
Bikes can be assembled and taken apart and stored in a backpack in less than a second.
Backpacks can hold 99 rare candys 99 potions 99 earthquake tms and 10000 + more items
I always get the girl ;)
Only pay for a room at an inn if you plan on going to sleep immediately after paying.
It's better to blow than suck
A tent can fit an infinite number of people as long as they are the same size as the tent.
As long as there's hope, there's a way. [IMG]http://vgchat.com/images/icons/icon6.gif[/IMG]
hedgehogs will always be the fastest animals on the planet
in most cases, violence is the answer
Lol, my little brother learned where the oil filter is on a vehicle by playing Medal of Honor: Frontline.
After a while, you can swim in lava.
Aliens with jetbacks tend to blow up easy.
If you're realy famous and get into a fight, your fans will fight for you.
the wind never messes up your hair , no matter how windy.
You don't need a sweater , no matter how cold .
Pokemon are real !
I can control the wind
[quote=ExoXile;849180]No matter how much you die, you can always start over. <3
[quote=Aeroshadow5098;851000]
I live more than once
Covered that already. ;)
In times of crisis, all I have to do is find more quarters
If you see a giant mushroom, NEVER EVER EVER let that get away.
Plasmids will make you go crazy.
when your nervous about moving forward , press pause and relax a bit.
The weather is either snowy , rainy , hot , misty , humid , or just right.
When fighting a bigger guy , use Z targeting to get a lock on his nuts.
-When you play a sequel you still start off with nothing regardless of what you did prior to starting.
Yes, you can jump in midair.
If someone is about to shoot you, do a barrel roll.
Sand can reverse time.
Fire will not mess up your hair, or destroy your clothes.
Zombies can bite you an infinite number of times, but only the non-playable characters will turn into zombies.
Small girls can, in fact, whoop you silly without breaking a sweat.
You run faster with a knife?
Sometimes a shot to the head or running them over doesn't kill them, so always make sure to do it a second time just to be sure
Unless it's in the head, you can usually take a good ten-twenty bullets before dying, unless you are a NPC civilian or playing Counter Strike.
Your helmet does nothing.
I slice someone with my sword more than twice, yet it's only after I kill them when I see at least 1 or 2 cuts...
Swords can pass clear through an enemy and only do a few points of damage rather than dismembering the enemy.
If I enter a tournament, my childhood rival is always who I'll face in the finals.
You can save the world.
With a party between 1 and 10.
No one dies during battle. Ever.
Your home town/city/village is going to be destroyed, so you shouldn't get too attached to it.
Bitterness won't prevent some one from crawling back.
Bitterness begets someone crawling back, more evil and powerful than ever before.
If I lure a rabbit into a cave, then jump it with five, overly powerful friends, I will get stronger.
Shooting all of the bad guys in a vehicle will cause that vehicle to burst into flames and explode, whether it is in motion or not.
If I jump twice, crouch twice, move left,right,left, and another right, punch nothing, kick nothing, and then stop all movements, I become ***.
Guards really like to obliviously blab out passwords, the locations of keys, and other such hints.
To charge your sword, you must jerk it up and down multiple times
no matter how many shots my squad members take, they will live longer than i do.
Squadmates seem to die way faster than you do. Unless they're important to the story. Then you can use them as meatshields.
no one sells rare candies.
i have the choice to be a girl or guy , but not both
I decide the fates of my own worshipers, but not others..
First place is the most dangerous position in kart races.
If you neutralize several foes in rapid succession, a deep voice will bellow up through the core of the planet, announcing that you have just ULTRA KILLed your opponents.
Need to use the bathroom? Nah.
Bad guys have a fondness of the 'Glowing Eyes' accessory, particularly the red ones.
- No matter how many times you kill them, if you leave and re-enter the room, the enemy willalways be there again.
- certain songs on the ocarina can control time.
Eating mushrooms will make me increase in size, unless I'm in a vehicle, in which case I get a momentary speed boost for some reason.
It increases the size of the fuel, forcing bigger molecules to fit into a regular size combustion chamber. The force of the liquid being forced into said chamber causes massive explosions and thus massive propulsion.
drrr
But that's not how it wo- oh wait, OFCOURSE IT IS!
Yeah, that's how it'd work. I mean, it might not make a whole lot of sense irl, but keep in mind, we're talking about a mushroom that moves on its own accord and a little italian plumber racing against a skeleton and a turtle and a dinosaur. So it works.
That creepy guy who sales masks? Sure, you can trust him.
Ancient civilizations had better technology than us.
If you happen to find a rhino trapped in a box , release it and it will help you get you your destination .
ropes are constantly moving back and forth , never losing momentum .
If you accidentally bump into someone you're automatically labeled as an assassin and sentenced to death.
Collect 100 of something and you gain an extra "life"
50 little morsels and you get an additional Mario.
If you jump on something, it tends to flatten or explode.
Just like real life.
Monsters carry around money asif they were planning on going to town at some point to shop.
Money and equipment. Equipment they'd never be able to use.
Stars are perfectly toucheable, and can be collected without any adverse gravity effects.
going through a big [M] turns your pistol into a machine gun.
Tanks can only take three hits before you must eject yourself and it explodes.
Touch water , and you die.
blond hippies are your friend.
Limited Edition metal tins contain the same game for $10-$500 more than regular editions. If they don't come with 1:1 scale replicas of Something Cool don't buy them.
Arriving at the end of a game is desireable. If you fail at this, it is the controller's fault, not yours.
Go ahead, jump into that painting. It's a world of magic that awaits you (not a trip to the ER)!
The moon has a face.
The judge will always allow me five times to make an idiot of myself before I lose any one trial.
If you shoot something, it turns into jell-o that you can absorb into your body.
swallow the enemy to attain their powers... ( black guys = super speed ) OMG oh no he didnt
[spoiler] jk , jk [/spoiler]
[quote=Vampiro V. Empire;859612]Oblivion right?
Portrait of Ruin.
Oblivion
You should always hit its weak point for MASSIVE damage.
You learn that from Sony, not vidyagames.
Actually it's been along for a very long time. Just instead of weak spots they used to be weak to a certain magic element.
No... weak spots have been around forever. Think back to Zelda and StarFox and pretty much every old game with boss battles who would expose a massive glowing region on their body.
Massive damage was sony though. :(
Still part of a video game, still applies to many video games. Sony just made said words into an internet meme.
Works for me.
Big corporations like to make people into zombies.
Yes, you only need five buttons to play guitar.
Three cops can take on an entire crime syndicate.
In the sequel, two cops, a professional wrestler, and a kid on rollerblades can take on that crime syndicate, again.
Gold-armored aliens are always more powerful than blue-armored aliens.
People have to wait for their ATB meter to fill before they can perform an attack/heal/move back.
When you are hurt badly in a fight, your limit break will turn the tables in your favor.
Boxers move in predictable patterns.
You only need to defeat four boxers to move up to the Major Circuit.
When the music gets scary, there's a boss nearby.
Slippers are *gasp* SLIPPERY!
It only takes three shots from a pistol to kill a man, but it takes 30 from an assault rifle.
Your pistol is just as accurate as your sniper rifle.
Speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out.
Earthworms wear space suits.
You always have a chance of getting a critical hit.
Using the right element agains the right person, you will deal extra damage because IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE.
I thought mis0's painting thing was a Super Mario 64 gag...
Treasure chests are rarely ever locked.
"Oh, cool, another treasure che--JESUS CHRIST IT'S A MIMIC WE'RE ****ING SCREWED"
In Tales of Symphonia, they thought it would be a good idea to throw a Mimic in the first dungeon.
I think it took me like 30 minutes to kill it the first time I played the game.
Man, I remember that. Super ****ed up.
...Didn't you guys level?
I remember playing it through with Mr. Numbers and we didn't have any problems defeating it.
I probably was underlevled, actually.
I'm replaying it right now with no Grade Shop add-ons (first time I've done this since the first time I played the game in 2004). For the first 10 or so hours of the game, I felt like everything was a bit harder than I remember, especially for Normal mode. I checked a guide, and it turns out I was 10 - 15 levels under the recommended level for each area.
I didn't grind until the wind boss.
We always grind in RPGs, much more satisfying that way.
Also, if you see a floating golden ball, hit it before anyone else to deliver your final smash.
For that love sensation.
I remember fighting that Mimic for a few hours. Was fun. Kind of a ******* thing to put in in the first place, but we beat it. I don't think it gave any decent reward though, which was disappointing.
Divide-All.
Extremely useful.
...Or maybe it was All-Divide.
Pulling a sword out of a pedestal can trap your soul for seven years.
Stop making **** up, you become the king of Engl--Oh wai-SHEEEEIT
Haha, didn't see that one coming.
It's for whenever 360 addicts wants to go outside and get some fresh air.
My bad.
Noone took that opportunity to have a play on words except the Swede, inwhich he Englished wrong?
[quote=Vampiro V. Empire;860222] It's being unaware you had missed out on one really awesome RPG.
opt.
hahaa, oh boy, I had fun der.
[quote=WillisGreeny;860357]Noone took that opportunity to have a play on words except the Swede, inwhich he Englished wrong?
[quote=ExoXile;860115]Stop making **** up, you become the king of Engl--Oh wai-SHEEEEIT
In this?
Punctuation, maybe.
Otherwise I guess I just suck at English, huh.
I never pulled a sword except the master sword. :awe:
Drinking + Helicopters= No
-GTA 4
And besides, simpsons already showed us that.
What haven't the Simpsons shown us?
An episode of Family Guy...
Turtles are all bad and they try to hurt you.
Some species of turtles can fly.
Finding football players in full gear in the open , yes they will try to kill you.
Finding 100 coins... Priceless