I am among the night; the moon hides high upon the air like a man in an opera seat. I feel a stab of hunger; I am as a wolf, nurtured from heaven's shine. I feast my eyes on her, as she lies raging as an open fire. The air sheds around the room like smoke and heats the moment like an inferno. Without a second thought, I grab her neck and place her body upon my lap; I don't blink or speak. I look down at her; she is to be taken.
I latch her body around my torso, instantly turning her on. I dive into her without even noticing and unleash my fury. I rip into her neck, letting my creativity flow as if her beauty could be played note for note. Her sounds flood the room with screams and yells. The tips of my fingers bleed aross her neck; I cannot stop. I am focused on my prey -- she keeps up with me just as easily as I create melodies and harmonies, as if they are sung straight from her body. The night grows...the power she has over me slips away. My anger rises, I ravage her completely and fling her onto the ground. Sounds of feedback jolt from her body and neck as I bend down to pick up the string that lies beneath my feet. It sadens me to see her break away like a puppet from my strings; but it happens every time.
By Dave! (Me) -- Descriptive fun without adj.! =p
"Open" is an adjective.
Nice though!
Ok, well I tried! Thank you though.
The line "instantly turning her on" feels out of place.
Good. :cool:
No adjectives? I remember this stuff from creative writing. Turned out a lot more difficult that I thought it'd be.
I guess I'll just tell you guys -- I'm reffering to talking about turning my guitar on, playing it...getting frustrated and a string breaking. Simple.
I liked the poem a lot actually. Keep at it!
thank you guys...im going to talk to my tutor at uni...see what she says..
I really should have done somthin about it before sept..but anyhowz...ill talk to her and think about what i want to do..
and again thank you all