So here's my chapter, Wally. Not as long as I wanted it to be, but whatever.
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The Blank Page Remix - Chapter 3: Frozen and Berserk
-- Vecks’ Gummi Ship: Training Room --
“You’re not going to beat me, Anara.” Leaves flew at her, abnormally sharp and hard as if they had been forged from steel. “We’ll see, Angela; we’ll see.” Anara dashed out of the way with ridiculous speed, and leaves followed. “****it.” She spun around in her tracks and batted them away with a few quick swipes of her daggers. Surprisingly, Anara’s daggers actually caused the leaves to go flying into the walls. Her cocky smile appeared across her face, and she ran at Angela. Angela laughed, “Did you really think that you would get to me that easily?” She slammed her staff onto the chrome floor and closed her eyes. Bits of rock formed and encased her in an earthy shield. “No, I didn’t, Angela.” Anara thrust her daggers into their sheaths at her waist and bit her left thumb. Blood dribbled down from it, and she slammed it into the ground, making a strange mark with her blood. Immediately afterwards, she began making hand signs that were so complex that only a few people in the universe knew how to use them and mumbling in a strange, guttural language. Her hair grew longer, dark fur grew all over her body, and her green eyes flared blood red. Her arms grew longer, and her slender fingers became thicker and sharper, morphing into claws. Anara roared, slamming both of her enlarged fists into Angela’s protective rock shield, shattering it.
-- Vecks’ Gummi Ship: Bridge --
“C’mon, Aurie! Please let me examine it!” “No!” Aurie said, pulling her ice katana out of the reach of Vecks’ hands. She was an two or three inches taller than him, so it really wasn’t that hard to keep it away from him. “Please!” Aurie rolled her eyes. Ever since Koori had been purified, and Aurie had received her katana, Vecks had transformed from his usual, quiet self into a crazy madman, willing to do anything to examine it. Vecks reached for it again, “You know that if I had an ice katana that I’d let you examine it!” “But I wouldn’t want to examine it.” “Well how about the amulet, then…?” Aurie instinctively pulled her wrist that the amulet was on away from him, “No.” Vecks groaned, “Come on!” “No! Now if you don’t want me to stab you with this thing, leave me alone!” He groaned again, “Fine… I guess I’ll just go examine that goop that I found…” Aurie sighed and plopped down into a chair. “So what’s up with you two?” Mateo asked, leaning on the wall next to her. As usual, he looked like he had just gotten out of bed. “Me and Vecks? You’re kidding right? There’s nothing between us; we’re just friends.” “Riiiiiight.” “Don’t make me freeze you in 10 feet of ice!” Mateo chuckled, “Like you’d be able to.” Aurie rolled her eyes, “There is nothing going on between me and Vecks.” She got up from her seat and began to walk down the hallway. “Keep telling’ yourself that,” she heard Mateo say behind her. She rolled her eyes again and walked into her room, slamming the door shut behind her.
-- Vecks’ Gummi Ship: Training Room --
The rock shield that Angela had put up in front of her crumbled before her very eyes. Anara stood a few feet away, her hand outstretched in a fist right where the shield had stood. Wait, was that Anara? Angela couldn’t quite tell. The beast, er… woman, that stood in front of her was covered in dark fur, with long hair, and, from what Angela had seen of Anara already, Anara didn’t have either of those things. Still, the woman was wearing Anara’s clothing. Just to make sure, Angela grabbed her amulet in her free hand and focused on thinking about Furigana. Almost instantly, everything around her slowed to a standstill and became shades of black and white. A woman with skin the color of tree bark and hair that looked as if it were made of leaves appeared in front of her. The woman’s eyes, lips, nails, and clothing were all the same shade of forest green. On her forehead rested a simple circlet made of twigs with a glimmering, green gemstone in its center. “Yes, Angela?” she asked. “Furigana, is that Anara or what?” Angela asked, pointing to the werewolf-like woman standing a few feet away from her. “Yes.” “Well what the hell happened to her?!?” Furigana chuckled, “She’s a Berserker.” “Ber..serker…?” Furigana chuckled again, “Yes, a Berserker.” Angela gave Furigana a weird look, “And what is a Berserker?” Furigana chuckled a third time, “Berserkers are human beings, um, ‘gifted’ with the ability to transform into beastly versions of themselves. In that form they have about, oh, let’s say… at least double their normal strength and speed. They’re a bit rare nowadays; I actually think that some believe them to be completely extinct.” “And how am I supposed to beat her?!?” Angela frantically asked. Furigana chuckled a fourth and final time, “You don’t.” With that said, color returned to Angela’s surroundings, and time moved once more. Anara roared a few feet ahead of Angela and charged at her.
-- ?????? --
Sean walked down the poorly lit hallways of his father’s castle. The walls and floor around him seemed to be made of obsidian, and his footsteps echoed throughout the corridor. Ahead of him he could hear the voices of his father and someone else… a woman. He walked up to the partially open door and knocked. “Oh yes, come in!” his father’s gruff voice shouted from within. Sean pulled the tall door open and walked inside. “Hikari, get off of me,” Sean’s father laughed. Hikari gave him a swift peck on the lips and got up, “Seeya later, Snook-ums.” She grabbed her naginata from the floor beside her and shuffled out the door. Sean shuddered; the fact that a woman like Hikari would even think to have a relationship with his father freaked him out. After all, Hikari was a beautiful woman with flowing, blonde hair, and sparkling blue eyes. Sean’s father was pretty much the exact opposite; he was an ugly, wrinkled old man with long, gray hair and a short, gray beard. He wasn’t exactly the nicest person in the world, either. Despite all of this, he was still a powerful man, and he didp/I] control several worlds throughout the universe. “You called for me, father?” He got up from his chair, “Oh yes. I do believe I did, Sean.” “Is there a reason that you called me in here?” He paced along the room slowly, “Yes. I wanted to let you know that there are some [I]rebels fighting against us.” “So? It‘s not like we haven‘t stopped a group of rebels before.” “Sean, these are very powerful rebels; they’ve taken care of two Guardians already. Two Guardians!” “I still don’t see what the problem is; they’ll probably just get defeated by the Guardians that they happen to run into.” “Did I forget to mention that these rebels have the elemental control of Koori, Furigana, and Septero?” “I still don’t see what the problem is. All we need to do is send Nowaki to take care of the one with Furigana’s power, Hikari to take care of the one with Septero’s Power, and Kasei to take care of the one with Koori’s power. We could send a few more Guardians as back up, just in case.” “Ah, I guess I was overreacting a bit. That sounds like a good plan.” He patted Sean on the back, and Sean smiled a little bit, “I’ll go alert the Guardians.”
-- Vecks’ Gummi Ship: Training Room --
Anara dashed at Angela, her claws held out in front of her. She jumped up into the air and slashed downwards. Angela blocked the move with a small rock, but Anara broke right through it. She landed on the ground and, with another loud roar, attempted to stab Angela in the stomach. Angela barely dodged the attack and swung her staff in Anara’s direction only to find that she was above her once again. Anara, using both of her legs, launched herself off of Angela’s back, knocking Angela to the ground. Angela grunted and quickly rolled to the side, barely dodging another attack from Anara. Angela flung rocks at Anara with Furigana’s power, but they shattered when they hit Anara. “****it,” she muttered under her breath. Angela got up from the ground and swung her staff at Anara again. Anara dodged and jumped backwards a few feet. She crouched down on the ground on her hands and feet and dashed at Angela like a mad animal. Angela sent rocks raining down upon Anara’s back, but each and every one of them broke. “****it,” she muttered again under her breath. Anara continued dashing and quickly reached Angela, jumping up into the air and grabbing Angela by the neck. She ran towards the wall, still holding Angela, and slammed her against the wall. Anara smiled a hell of a feral smile and her features began to revert to how they were before she activated her Berserker abilities. Her hair returned to its normal, medium length, her eye color reverted back to forest green, the fur around her body shrank back to reveal her pale skin, and her claws shrunk back into fingers. She chuckled and let go of Angela, “And you said that I couldn’t win.” Angela rubbed her neck, “Yeah, yeah; don’t rub it in or I’ll cause an earthquake.” Anara chuckled again and helped Angela up from the floor, “Nice match.” “Yeah, you too.” The two girls shook hands and exited the training room.
-- Vecks’ Gummi Ship: Aurie’s Room --
Aurie sat down on her bed and took out her journal, throwing her ice katana off to the side. Sure, today hadn’t been the most exciting day in the world so far, but it still deserved at least a page in her diary. She opened up to a clean page and took out a blue pen from her pocket. Then, she began to write. She wrote about the entire day so far, not leaving out a single detail. It definitely wasn’t the most exciting thing for her to do at the moment, but she wrote in her journal every day. Her older sister had given her the journal before Aurie’s entire family had been slaughtered, and writing in it somehow made Aurie feel closer to her. Aurie’s sister had been a rather unique girl. He name was Tehmaka, which, unlike Aurora (Aurie’s real name), their parents had made up completely. Tehmaka had been born with an electric blue streak among her raven black hair as well as the ability to generate and control ice. Aurie chuckled. She remembered one time when she spoke to Tehmaka about how she wanted to see snow on her birthday. Tehmaka, wishing to make her younger sister happy, focused her power hard enough to cause a blizzard on the tropical world that they lived on. It snowed so hard that they were stuck in the house for a week. Their parents eventually found out that Tehmaka had caused the blizzard, and she was grounded for two months, only allowed to leave the house for school. Aurie sighed, it was a shame that - BOOM! The entire Gummi Ship shook. “EVERYONE TO THE BRIDGE!” Vecks’ voice said over the intercom. Aurie didn’t need to be told twice; she grabbed her ice katana, flung her door open, and ran as fast as her thin legs could take her towards the bridge.
-- Vecks’ Gummi Ship: Bridge, Kasei’s Point of View --
Kasei blasted the side of the whip with a ball of fire beside his comrades: Nowaki, Guardian of Wind; Hikari, Guardian of Light; Ikazuchi, Guardian of Thunder; Mizu, Guardian of Water; and Oinari, Guardian of Spirit. They were the last remaining Guardians that were not in the posession of the rebels. Aphasia was currently without a body, so they couldn’t bring him with them. The flames burned a hole in the side of the ship, and all of the Guardians walked in. Hikari chuckled behind him, “My, my, my; it seems that they’ve been expecting us. You all know your assignments!” Kasei looked over at the girl wearing Koori’s amulet around her wrist like a bracelet. He was assigned to take care of her. After all, fire melts ice. Oinari grabbed onto the back of his arm, “Let me take care of her.” “But I’m the one assigned to kill her; I’m most powerful against Koori’s power.” “Just let me handle it.” “Fine, I’ll handle your little Berserker, then. Why do you wanna take care of her so badly, though?” Oinari chuckled, “Because, my dear Kasei, I’ve been picking around in her head this whole time. I know how what will make her weak.” “If you say so, Oinari.” He chuckled again and walked behind the rest of the Guardians for a brief instant. When he emerged again, he looked like a teenage girl with raven black hair with an electric blue streak running through it. His robes had morphed into an open, violet vest, a white tube top, a denim miniskirt, and a pair of sandals. He chuckled and said, “Oh, this is going to be fun.”
-- Vecks’ Gummi Ship: Bridge, Aurie’s Point of View --
Aurie shifted into a fighting stance, holding her ice katana directly in front of her with both of her hands. Her face was relaxed and calm; the exact opposite of how she felt on the inside. She took a deep breath. A group of Guardians stood in front of her; Vecks, Eiyuu, Mateo, Angela, and Anara stood on either side of her, but that didn’t matter. All that mattered was that she was about to go up against one or more of the immortal and merciless Guardians of Atlantis. She took another deep breath and grabbed the hilt of her katana even more firmly. A familiar figure walked out from behind the Guardians with an electric blue streak running through her hair. “Tehm?!?” Tehmaka smirked and said nothing. She pulled her hand back and threw shards of ice at Aurie, faster than lighting. Aurie attempted to swing her katana to smack the ice away from her. “No!” Koori’s voice yelled in her head, “Use your control over ice!” “Right, right,” Aurie muttered under her breath. Her brown eyes turned icy blue, and the shards went flying into the floor of the ship, shattering. From the corners of her eyes, Aurie saw her friends go off to fight the Guardians. “Why didn’t you send them flying back at her?” Koori asked in her head. “That’s my sister!” “Appearances can be deceiving, my dear.” Tehmaka ran at Aurie, quickly forming a pair of shing blades on her wrist made of ice, “Think fast, little sis.” “And now she’s using my sister’s signature weapons. That’s gotta be her!” Aurie mumbled. Koori sighed in her head, “That is not your sister. Your sister is dead.” Tehmaka swung her shing blades at Aurie. Aurie attempted to block it. “Don’t try to block the attacks! Try to deflect them!” Koori yelled in Aurie’s head. “Right, sorry.” Aurie’s eyes turned icy blue once more, and she focused on Tehmaka’s shing blades. The shing blades stopped just as they were about to slice Aurie’s leg off. “Good, now shatter them into shards of ice.” Aurie nodded her head and focused her mental energy even harder on the shing blades. They shattered into hundreds of tiny shards of ice. “Very good, Aurie. Now form them into ice needles and fling them at our opponent.” “But-” “That is not your sister, Aurie. If you don’t get past that fact, then this battle will last forever.” “But-” “Ask yourself this question: if she was your sister, why would she be fighting at you like she’s going to kill you? Why would your sister be traveling with the Guardians of Atlantis?” “Right.” Aurie’s eyes turned icy blue and she focused her energy on the small shards. Slowly, they fit together and morphed into needles made of ice. Aurie pointed her hand at Tehmaka, and the needles flew at her. Tehmaka pointed her hand towards the ground, and that’s where the needles went. “Damn it,” Koori cursed in Aurie’s head, “This is going to be harder than I thought.”
-- to be continued --
Interesting chapter. Though I am not so sure about Sean in this, seems a little too....One liner. "I don't see a problem" got real old real fast, especially considering the level of power that the guardians have!
Well, I will get to work. Don't expect all the guardians to die though!
Have it up soon!
Take your time. :p:
Might I make a suggestion?
Go ahead.
Paragraphs. The breaks in writing and placement of each thought make things much more coherant. It's similar to a type of punctuation, like commas and semi-colons - it denotes a break in thought, as well as differentiates who is speaking. I'd be much more inclined to read and give my critiques on your work if I didn't feel like I was reading a block of text.
Alright, I'll do that next time.
It's what I've been doing for a long while now!
I'll start on the next chapter tomorrow. Again, not all the guardians will die, and I may or may not introduce another character not new, and I will build more of a back story to the seldom if ever seen Mechlore, Veck's brother.
WEEEEEE!
he won't show up yet though....Maybe....
No, Wally, you just have a big block of text. The "tab" key has no effect on your text in this forum, so you can't tell when you have a paragraph unless you put spaces in between each one.
True.
What I meant was that there is a break between characters speaking. I'll look back into doing a double space.