Hunter




Posted by Wally The Weird

Ok, I have rewritten the story in the third person, tell me what you think. First part of the thing anyway.
Oh, and this character is based on Sin City Marv.

The Hunter

Two thirty five A.M, the heartless freak was making his way merrily down the dark street when he was suddenly caught off-guard by a whirring sound right behind him. Nobodies are a lot faster then normal people, he ducked.
“You’re fast, freak. Not too shabby all things considered. Return the heart you stole from that little boy and we’ll call it a day, otherwise I’m going to have to get nasty.” The shadowy figure threatened as he caught the keyblade as it spun back to him like a boomerang.
“To he!l with you and your keyblade, bounty hunter. It’s selfish people like you that selfish nobodies like me exist. I am keeping the heart!” A dim red light flashed in the nobodies chest where the stolen heart was. No matter how many they stole, they still have yet to fully integrate a heart into a nobody. That didn’t stop them from trying of course.
The big, dark figure clutching the black keylade was reminiscent of a comic book character. This man was freakishly fast and powerful, several times that of a normal man. Dragon fangs would break on his skin, swords shattered, and shields splintered under his might.
Yet still, the nobody had an advantage. He was a nobody, a non-mortal. Killable, and doomed to return to the nothingness, yet still beyond the powers of mortal men. Even the weakest of ‘flesh’ nobodies could topple mountains.
The mountain of a man chuckled, his face cracking an odd looking smile. His grip on his weapon tightened, and a street lamp flickered. His weapon was much longer and more massive then an ordinary kingdom key. Though similar in shape, his blade was longer, around five feet in length, and a half inch thicker, and stained the colors of the shadowy creatures he killed.
“Time for the hard goodbye then.” The giant finally responded. His arm went way back, and then he flung the keyblade with tremendous force. The weapon spun faster then a buzz saw and a cyclone gathered around it. The nobody went straight up and summoned a staff into his hands, his weapon of choice.
“Pyroblast!” From the tip of his weapon, the nobody conjured a giant ball of molten lava. When it reached the size of a basketball, the spell shot off like a rocket and sped for the giant bounty hunter. The giant grunted and raised his hands up in some sort of odd gesture, and then brought them back down. A flash of light from each palm, and he now gripped two new keyblades, Oblivion in the left, and Oathkeeper in the right.
As if to respond to the look of absolute terror that spread across the nobodies face, the giant’s smile grew back, much larger. The molten ball of lava struck his keyblades, and was then forced back towards the nobody, who dodged it easily, but was still stunned.
“Trip keyblades, freak!” The giant proclaimed. The blood drained from the nobody’s face, and he turned around. Trip keyblades meant that-
Before he could finish is though, the keyblade he thought had been dispelled slammed into his chest on its round course and he lost consciousness for a few seconds, sending him right into the ground. The giant released his keyblades, and they levitated around him while he caught his first in his right hand.
“Goodbye.” The giant said before striking the nobody once with his black kingdom key. The nobody cried out in pain briefly, and then collapsed into a heap of a corpse that quickly became nothing at all.
The giant remained only for a moment, to make sure the heart was sent back on its way to the child from whom it had been stolen. When the corridor of light closed, the giant turned, dispelled his keyblades. He lifted his hood, and then walked away, the shadows of darkness around him providing a slimming effect, making him appear much less massive then he really way.
Above him, a man in a white coat watched silently, observing so silently, only one person had even noticed him.
The giant, who he had been following for some time now.




Posted by Wally The Weird

Is it really so hard to read it and say it sucked? Or it was good? ANYTHING?!




Posted by Arcadios

Heh, Wally; I could say the same thing about my side story and Sak could say the same thing about her fan fic.
=/




Posted by Sak

[quote=Wally The Weird;563389][COLOR=white]Is it really so hard to read it and say it sucked? Or it was good? ANYTHING?![/COLOR]

[COLOR=white]I don't enjoy stories in the first person, and what Arc said.[/COLOR]




Posted by Wally The Weird

I'll write more a bit later, but just so the signal gets out, I have re-written the first chunk.