Warning: Long post, be prepared to read. Posts saying "tl;dr" only show your laziness and ignorance.
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So a lot has changed with me since the last time I was here.
I've matured a lot. My outlook on life has changed.
My political views have generally made a shift towards the right.
Picked up a few nasty habits: smoking, getting inebriated a few nights a week (in fact I'm still buzzed as I write this), generally being a douchebag, etc.
I've made new friends, lost old ones. Made experience, shared experiences.
I'm here to share the experience that's been plaguing me for a few days now,
hopefully I can get some useful advice from some people that I know (Corrupt, Raptor, Freddy or whatever his name is this week) and some advice from people I don't.
Well the story goes like this:
About a year ago, I was sitting in class on a Monday morning, feeling pretty downcast about the beginning of the week much like everyone else. I woke up from my customary first-period nap and the bell rang. I walked out, headed towards my next class and find a few friends to chat with for the brief passing period. I descended down the stairs and I was walking something- or someone- caught my eye. The new girl. To be short about it, I was instantly physically attracted to her, definitely the definition of pulchritude if I’ve ever seen it. She seemed pretty popular for being here the first day. There were a few scrubs trying to talk to her and, being a typically attractive girl she put up her b-tch shield and dispersed them. Of course, knowing the “three second rule,” I approached her. She seemed pretty cold at first, but I’m a pretty golden game-spitter. I worked through her defenses and through the time constraint of the passing period got her number and a kiss on the cheek. To keep with the theme of the board, I guess you could say that’s a +3 Charisma.
We started having some decent conversations on the phone (though somewhat irregular.) I hardly ever got the chance to see her in the halls, really, but from time to time she’d find me and, at times, skip class to see me when I was working as an attendance aide. I never really thought much about it. I much preferred being single at the time, seeing it as a burden. In consequence, I never got the privilege (or more accurately, she never got the privilege) of getting very close. At the end of the school year, she told me she was moving back to California and that, chances are, we’d never see each other again. She took my hand, gave me a kiss on the lips, and said “Keep in touch, you know the number.”
I didn’t. In fact, I had completely forgotten about her until several months later, surprise, she messages me over Myspace telling me that she’s back in town. So we start seeing each other again, though much less frequently being that she lives on the other side of town and now going to a different school. One day when I was at her house however.. things got a little, well, crazy.
So we still kept in touch, though not very often. I had moved past my stage of feeling that relationships were fruitless and had recently ended a relationship when one Saturday night she called me, crying. It was around midnight, I was drinking with some of my friends (nonessential note: They were passing around a pretty large blunt, I might add, but from previous experience I passed on it and have been clean of it for quite a while. Don’t do drugs kids.) and having a good time. Well, she wasn’t just crying, she was devastated. We’re talking about train-wreck devastated. I ask her “Baby, what’s wrong?” She tells me nothing, everything’s alright. Taking cues from the commonly seen chain-bulletins about women’s feelings on Myspace, I tell her “No, it’s not. I can tell it seems like your world crashed onto you, now tell me what’s wrong.” What happens next is pretty Clerks 2-esque: “Jason, I’m pregnant.”
I drop my beer onto the ground and glass shatters, bringing all kinds of unwanted attention to me. I tell the guys to go about their business and walk to a more quiet area. “Jesus.. who’s the father?” At this point, she started sobbing harder than I ever imagined was possible. I kind of figured it out for myself. “Wow.. well. What do you want to do? Do you think we should keep it, or should we have an abortion?” She tells me that her religious and moral beliefs put an abortion out of the question. Besides, her parents are going to find out either way eventually. I tell her everything is going to be alright: I’ll father the child and care for and love it unconditionally, support her and the child, blah blah. Of course, it was pretty bittersweet seeing as I didn’t feel ready for a child. But what the hell can I do.
I eventually calmed her down to where she, though still pretty distraught about it, seemed to at least sound alright. Days pass, and I’m talking to her more than ever before, every night for hours. Talking and planning about our future, asking each other if we should be together for the child, etc. Unfortunately, I never got to talk to her in person because I’m not yet financially independent enough to afford a car. And it’s not like I could just go up to my father and say, “Hey. I got a girl pregnant, drive me to her house.” But eventually fate smiled upon me, though briefly, and she was coming back to my side of town to spend a weekend with her old friends. She comes to my house on a Friday night and me, being pretty well buzzed already, had a chat with her and told her to go off and have fun with her friends for the night and try to make it back and spend some time with me. Eventually, around 2am or so, she calls me and tells me she’s walking to my house from her friend’s, around six miles away. I disagree with her about making the walk but she insisted and me already being pretty blitzed just agreed with her.
So she shows up at my door about an hour and a half later. We spend some time talking and she was pretty worn out, so we decide to retire to my bed together, me holding her in my arms.. fingers locked with hers. Well let’s say, kissing leads to making out, making out to other things and apparently it all happens again. Protected this time though, we don’t want twins. (nonessential note: I brought my face up from between her legs to kiss her stomach, but she pushed my head back down with the force of a nuclear weapon. I swear, my neck hurt the next morning. And also, it was kind of a struggle being pretty drunk, mini-me was having some trouble with the alcohol and that was pretty embarrassing. Moving on. Oh, and I dickslapped her. I’ve never had a tear run down my cheek from laughing so hard.)
We wake up at around nine and I make her breakfast while she’s on Myspace. A bunch of unimportant stuff, building rapport, etc happen.. fast forward a few hours. A few friends come over, see a girl on my computer. “Who’s this?” ‘Oh, that’s my friend.’ “Did she spend the night?” ‘Yes.’ “Oh nice.” He leans in to whisper: “Be sure to keep it wrapped, we don’t need little Jasons running around.” They eventually leave, and guess what happens when we’re alone. Yeah you guessed it. Let’s just say I satisfied her better than I did previously. (nonessential note: As in, in the hour and a half it lasted, she came three times and I wasn’t near finished. But that’s really more information than anyone really needs to know.) While we’re going at it, though.. I don’t know what happened. I think it slipped out: “I love you.” She tells me she loves me too, and suddenly everything felt right with the world. She leans in for the best kiss I’ve ever had (yes she was on top you pervs.)
And so I shower. I think my father saw me walking to the shower in my boxers and kind of wondered what happened. Well we drop her back off at her friend’s house. I didn’t get out to say goodbye like I should have, but I was planning on seeing her later that night. Unfortunately, those plans fell through. My father drops me off at a local show, asking the same questions over and over: “Who was that?” I tell him the name. “Is that your girlfriend?” Nope, just a friend. “How do you know her?” School. “What are those bruises on your neck?” Uhh.. hickeys?
So he drops me off at the show, tells me not to do anything too irresponsible and drives off. I never see the girl the rest of the night, apparently her friends couldn’t get a ride there. So we call each other again and two nights later (New Year’s Day) I finally ask her to be mine. She enthusiastically agrees. While I did keep regular touch with her, being romantic, blah blah, I never got to see her again. For over two months. My father refused to drive me out there, he figured he knew what was going to happen and said if I wanted it badly enough I’d find another way there. Never found a way.
So things have gone downhill since then. She’s sick. She’s been having a lot of stress problems due to her job, arguing with her mother, the baby, and school. She’s always too busy with her job, school, and modeling to really make room to see anyone. As a result, we drift apart. Compounded with a few other things I don’t feel comfortable talking about on a public forum, I decide I want to end it with her. Of course I’d still be a great father, be there for her and the child always.. but things just looked like they wouldn’t work out. I decided it was best to act on it now than let it ruin both of us. Well let’s just say she doesn’t take the breakup well. She’s in tears while I reassure her that I’ll still be there for them. Feeling terrible, I decide to go to sleep and end the day, thinking that was the worst of it.
I get a call yesterday morning from her cousin, saying she’s in the hospital. What? What the hell happened? “Well, when she woke up today there was blood everywhere. Don’t tell her I said this, but I think it’s something with the baby.” Oh Jesus, no. “We’re going to pick her up in a couple of hours and I’ll let you know the news.” The next two hours are the longest of my life until I finally get a call back: “We just came back and there’s terrible news. It was a miscarriage, the doctor said it was due to stress.” While I feel mildly relieved of the burden of having a child, I feel terrible. “I know you want to talk to her right now but she’s really taking all this extremely unwell. She doesn’t want to talk to anyone right now, she won’t even talk to me.”
So I haven’t really had much contact with her since then. I’ve explained the story to a few of my closest friends and I’ve been told something that I might be starting to believe: “Well, she didn’t take the breakup very well.. so maybe the stress from that may be the straw that broke the camel’s back. I’m not saying it did, and I’m not trying to make you feel bad, I’m just trying to give my logical explanation.” Oh thanks a--hole.
While I still do feel strongly for her, as she does for me, I don’t know what I should do. Should I get back with her? My heart says yes, but the rest of me is telling me “well that ordeal’s over with, time to move on.” If I were to want her back, will she think it’s because the baby’s gone?
And though unlikely, is it possible that it really was the “straw that broke the camel’s back?” Did I indirectly, inadvertently kill my own unborn child? Sure it’s compounded with other things and it’s not all my fault, but I can’t help but feel it is.
Discuss. What are your feelings about this? What would you do in my position?
That story had everything, except a bel-air. Which I was half-expecting.
ANYWAYS, in all honesty, if I were in your position right now I would feel relieved beyond belief. Perhaps that's the caustic ******* in me speaking, or just common sense? But having a baby at such a young age is going to pretty much ruin your life. And your friend was probably right about you wanting to break up with her being the last straw, but since it got you off the hook, you should consider yourself lucky.
As for getting back with her, if you were going to break up with her before she lost the baby, why would you stay with her after? It doesn't really change things, if anything it just makes things worse. Move on, and consider it a huge step in maturing to adulthood.
And here's a Protip: Try not to get drunk so much, it's only going to lead to bad things. Not saying to stop completely, but more than once a week seems a bit much.
Wow, your life has certainly taken a spin since the last time you were on here ...
How old are you, anyways? Have you really tried to talk to her about it? I don't necessarily think that its a bad thing since this is probably the time where she needs help and support from people around her; however, if you try to talk to her, it would probably have one in two effects, it will alleviate some of her stress and pains, or you will remind her of her losses - either way, its up to you whether you want to experiment at this time or not. If I were you, I would do it, but then again, I am a WOMENz and some people might find me irrational, but if you already had a close bond like this already, it would be a waste to just let it go ... unless she really sees you as a burden or a reminder of her miscarriage. Though from what you've talked about up there, it kind of bothers me that you two could drift from each other easily, though I am implying that from the manner you are talking in.
Out of curiosity, how old are you, anyways?
Do you believe in divine intervention, Jason?
That'll teach your stupid *** not to forget to use protection again.
Pretty sweet: she refused to get an abortion, so you found a way to abort it yourself!
I'm ignorant.
Ant- Yes, I do feel relieved. However, I did lose my own child and I’m finding it difficult to look at it from a very optimistic perspective. Maybe it’s the pessimist in me, maybe it’s the conservative in me, but I just don’t see myself being very happy about the loss of my own child no matter the circumstances. As for getting back with her, I broke up with her for a few reasons but, in retrospect, none of them seem very important at all after what we’ve gone through recently. After the miscarriage, and without me.. she just seems lost. Closed herself from the outside world. I still care about her and, though she hasn’t directly said it, I know that the only thing that would make her happy is if we were to get back together. Of course, I could tell her to get over it and move on but I’d feel like kind of an a--hole, no?
And about getting drunk, I do keep it in moderation. I don’t remember being drunk more than once a week in the story. Well, I do.. I just don’t remember writing about it.
Xenos- Eighteen, but I don’t see why it matters. And yes, I’ve had contact with her since then, last night in fact. We were talking about what had happened, getting back together, and our feelings. Well, she said she’d call back but never did. She could have been busy, she could have forgotten, or maybe it’s a sign she wants to move on. Who knows Xenos, one thing about guys is that they overanalyze every single thing a girl does. Well she doesn’t seem to be very unhappy to talk to me and I’m not a burden to her.
Fate- No, not really. But I believe in Karma. And, well.. Fate.
Kodachi- kthx 4 yr halp. What a way to set an example for yourself and your fellow moderators by making direct and personal attacks on someone. Stupid and drunk are two similar, but completely different things. I guess I should clarify something that, in my drunken stupor and state of mind, I had simply forgotten to write into the story. She said she was on the pill, and that it was alright. When I first heard from her that she was pregnant, I asked her "I thought you were on the pill?" and she replied "Well apparently it doesn't work." I still haven't figured out if she was setting me up for it or if it really didn't work, contraceptives of any kind aren't one-hundred percent reliable.
Draxamus- Your unusual point of view is strangely comforting.
VVE- Oh dear, then I'm afraid that post was a simple PC+1?
Maybe she's not ready to talk to you again. Though you said you'd be there for her, you knocked her up and broke up with her soon after. Give her your support, but also give her lots of space. I'd assume she's not ready to forgive and forget, even if she acts cool and understanding about it.
I agree with Iris. She likely feels betrayed, but if you really do love her, then you shouldn't give up hope on your relationship. Also, WOW you're still alive I figured you were gone forever.
Iris- I talked with her yesterday and she had acted as if nothing had happened. We talked about it a little bit and I was probably more torn about it than she was, because of our differences in points of view. She was happy that she didn't have to have a child so early in her life, and that her parents didn't have to find out (She was with her friend and her cousin at the time and they took her to the hospital.) She seems very open to the idea of renewing our relationship, though a little reluctant because she feels I'm only getting back with her because she's no longer pregnant. However, she seems a little close to one of her ex-boyfriends again, and if we don't get back together then she might go back to her ex. Yes I want to be with her still, but if she chooses him over me it's fine. I can understand she should want to move past this and not have me as a constant reminder of this whole situation. I worry more about her happiness than mine.
Misoxeny- As for her feeling betrayed, she understands why I broke up with her. I kept that from the board because it's a little too personal to explain exactly why I ended it, but if it says anything I was more comfortable talking about our 'experiences.'
And thanks everyone for greeting me back, but I don't plan on staying. When I said I was done here I wasn't lying. I'm only here to get anonymous advice in my current position and time of need.
Was she your cousin?
Question, can having unprotected sex with girl who's already pregnant lead to more babies? Future reference.
tl;dr
Shade32- What kind of question is that? No, she's not my cousin. As for your second question, no you can't get "more" pregnant having sex during pregnancy. Period stop during pregnancy, and so does ovulation. Women get their menstrual cycle to "flush" out the egg. When a woman becomes pregnant, there is no purpose for a menstrual cycle since there is no ovulation.
Eh, I saw the whole, from the south thing and couldn't resist. My bad. ^^;
And wow... you're certainly informed on the subject.
I was serious. THE MORE YOU KNOW.
did you kick her in the stomach
If you learned one thing from this, it should be...Don't get in bed with a chick until AFTER you say 'I do!' and are on that Honeymoon!!! None of this would of occured if you had done that!!!!
what's the fun in that, Jesse?
Zac- Unfortunately not, but next time I see her I won't forget.
Jesse- You'd change your outlook on that if a girl would ever let you get anywhere near her, much less have sex with her.
BURRRRRRRN
That sucks balls man. I always figured miscarriage is one of the worst things to happen to anyone and Im sorry it happened to you. Hopefully things will work out for the better between you and this girl.
Sounds like you have had it rough. I would say that if you do indeed love her, you should work to get together again. Sounds like you two hit it off, and some bad things happened, but that is what relationships are all about. Working through the bad **** and staying strong. Hope that helps.
Zarg: Nothing in particular. Its easier for me to understand the condition that someone is working through when I know their age ... at first I thought you were a college student [well, at least one in their twenties], but being eighteen makes it seem much, much more difficult. Then again, viewing this from a fairly different cultural schema, my perceptions might be a little warped.
Bebop- Yeah, it's pretty devastating to me. I hope things go better as well, and she does still feel the same way about me but I think she wants to get back with her ex. More power to her, I guess. I've found myself thinking for the past three days (including today), with 750mL of Jager in hand.. "****. My baby's dead.. I killed it. And my woman is getting back with her ex.. this sucks."
Mixman- While she claims to still love me she's still a little cold towards me. She doesn't seem ready to get back together, or for any relationship really. Your advice does help though, and I appreciate it.
Corrupt- Thanks for the advice on AIM, I'll definitely take it to heart and see what I can do in this situation.
Xenos- Yes, I used to lie about my age a while back but I've moved past that. I was extremely immature back in my old days, as you could tell from most of my posts. And yes, I definitely think this is more difficult for me now than if it were to happen several years from now.
lol, zarg is only 18.
Hopefully things get better.
I'm nearly 20, yo. I thought you were older than me.
uh...
wb :cool2:
Wow, a hard time for you indeed. You shouldn't feel responsible for the child's death. It wasn't your fault. Yes, you many have contributed to it a bit, but not intentionally.
It's sort of like smoking, you do it, but you don't mean to get cancer. It was a mistake, an accident. Maybe this all worked out for the best. a burden off of your shoulders. I know that me saying 'Don't get down on it mate!' will not help you that much. but you shouldn't blame yourself for all of this.
Oh wait, a kid died? This story just might be interesting.
Dude, that was one of the most epic stories ever. On a social and length wise, of course.
Fate- Well I probably misled you- I used to lie about my age before I realized age is only a number, not a social status. Try not to make this a "lol he's young" thread.
Killer Jordo- While I understand what you're saying, your analogy is a little off. Being a smoker myself, I know the repercussions of my habit and am reminded of it every time I light a cigarette. So I really don't think getting cancer is a mistake, it's more of a cause/effect thing.
VVE- I find that if you really have nothing positive or particularly insightful to say in this thread you should stay out of it. This is the only board that I know of in which trolls are not just tolerated but respected. So either be a person who deserves their part in this discussion or say something witty and humorous to lighten the mood like Draxamus and Zac. Don't post just to post and make yourself look like an idiot, that's Jesse's job.
l0z 1 iz an id3o2!!!! I iz da |
Posted by Vampiro V. Empire
I can't help you with your girl troubles, Zargathos. To me, girls are like designated parking spaces for the handicapped. I nonchalantly pass by them all over the place, and regardless whether they are taken or not, I have no desire to squeeze into one and risk being punished for it.
What if it was a furry? :-*
you truly are amazing.
[color=lemonchiffon]Wow. Firstly, SUP J-DAWG?! But that question's already been answered. Seriously though, wow. I've missed ya, Jay. And life never fails to surprise you, does it? Holy ****, man. I need to update you. Though I must admit, my stories aren't nearly as good of reads as yours are.
About your whole girl situation, dude, if your heart wants to be with her, act on it. It may sound clich
Misoxeny- Believe what you will. Obviously I've been honest enough so far, why lie about the outcome? She did take it better than I would have thought, though.
Aesthetic- Thank you for your words and insight. Of course, you know my AIM so feel free to talk to me when you can. While I don't miss the attitude and general maturity level of these boards, I do miss many members from it.
[QUOTE=Aesthetic;555946][color=lemonchiffon]
About your whole girl situation, dude, if your heart wants to be with her, act on it. It may sound clich
Women shouldn't give advice. Period. You'd be surprised at how many women go back to abusive men, because, deep down, they still love him and know he doesn't really mean it :rolleyes: Bad experiences are not good. Especially if they can be avoided. Especially if you know, chances are, it's going to be a bad experience.
P.S. haven't actually read any of his long posts. But I have a feeling CC is right, and Aesthetic not so much.
But we do it because we love you. Duh. You also **** us off. Stop it.
Why do you make us hit you? Do you think we want to hit you?
This is lame and boring. What originally started out as a story of where Zarg's been has now turned into a sexist debate. Point being: Sexist debates are some of the most annoying and boring possible arguments in history.
****ing stop.
They're only boring because women can't argue.
Haha, sexism is fun. I was really stuck between that and quoting kodachi and saying "RUN ALONG, HUN, THE MEN ARE TALKING"
It could happen... on a Black War Bridle Steed, at least.
Were you drunk when you typed that?
I want to put it in the buttses of the girls in this thread [spoiler]save trigger[/spoiler]