1-805-581-1666




Posted by Ant

a great day for racism to be sure.
[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v496/AntmanMadness/da6.png[/IMG]




Posted by Linko_16

Way to @#$% it up by making a new thread, dick.




Posted by Slade

I'M GONNA CALL YOU




Posted by maian

lol




Posted by The Judge

Bug people in the shoe department for Alligator shoes.

Or better yet, dragon scale.




Posted by mis0

RIND RING RING RING RING RING RING PONOS PHONE




Posted by Ant

spoilers: that's the phone number to the walmart in simi valley lol. delightfully evil




Posted by Slade

I hope to


Note: I don't know where I was going with that, but I almost subconciously typed it as soon as I clicked on this thread.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

666 = racism? huh




Posted by mis0

I guess satan hates blacks?




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

guess so




Posted by Ant

fine. a great day for slayer and the omen?




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

slayer sucks and the omen is meh




Posted by Ant

There's just no way of making you happy is there? Call the number and ask for shoes and demand snake skin boots.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

Will do.




Posted by The Judge

Dragon Scale or nothing.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

I'm going to call and ask if they have cat scale boots.




Posted by Slade

Then interrupt him with a good MEOW! when he tries to answer.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

lol brilliant




Posted by Slade


Quoting Vampiro V. Empire: lol bri-MEOW!

if only i could edit po-MEOW!



Posted by Linko_16

I drew a picture of Satan on my notes for Dante's Inferno in Humanities.

It turned out really cool. I might scan it up for you guys.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

Have him on a cellphone dialing that number.




Posted by sniper

How the **** do you draw someone dialing 11 numbers?




Posted by mis0

The number for hell is 611.

no, wait, that's telephone repair. sorry. :(




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire


Quoted post: How the **** do you draw someone dialing 11 numbers?


Show the screen with "1-805-581-166" and him pressing 6 again.



Posted by Linko_16


Quoting Vampiro V. Empire: Have him on a cellphone dialing that number.


His hands are trapped in ice.

Judas could do it for him, I guess... get a moment's relief from being infinitely ground up in the mouth of the center head.




Posted by Lord of Spam

i like how really uptight christians seem to get all ****y about being mad at the peopel that killed jesus (jews, or judas, etc). im always like "so you would rather he didnt die?" "OF COURSE WE DONT WANT JESUS TO DIE HES SO GREAT ETC" "you realize that if he hadnt, you know, done the whole DEATH FOR YOUR SINS thing you'd be up **** creek according to your own religion, right?"

at that point they usually realize how ******* stupid they are and kill themselves.




Posted by Ant

praise be to science.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire


Quoted post: at that point they usually realize how ******* stupid they are and kill themselves.


More like: at that point they realise how ******* wrong you are and rant about how you don't understand their religion.



Posted by Lord of Spam

that too, but mine was the way it SHOULD go down

also im right stfu




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

Nah, I'm right because that's how it happens.




Posted by Linko_16

110% of the time, baby.


Quoting Lord of Spam: i like how really uptight christians seem to get all ****y about being mad at the peopel that killed jesus (jews, or judas, etc).


I don't entirely get why Dante gave Judas the supreme punishment of all Hell. Yeah, the ninth circle of hell is for betrayal, and betrayers of *** have it worse than anyone else... but it's supposed to be that only unrepented sin lands you in hell. From what I understand of the gospel, Judas felt pretty @#$%ing terrible about what he did.

Also, around the time the this was all written, the Romans were still in charge and Christians wanted to stay on their good side... so they wrote into their gospel how noble and innocent Pilate was, who was quite a brutal Roman ruler in historic records, and instead showing how it was those nasty Jews who yelled out, "Crucify him!" But these verses have still been a doctrine over the centuries to stamp out the Jewish religion.

EDIT - It specifically says in Matthew, the second gospel to be written and not too badly obscured by retellings, that Judas repented. But he did hang himself. Poor guy.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

I think there's a line you cross where repenting won't do you much good. And that just happens to be betraying and being the cause of the Lord's death. That and then killing yourself... not a good combination.




Posted by Linko_16

Meh, I'd guess it to be more along the lines of what LoS said: people just seem to thing you should get @#$%ed in the @#$ if you mess with Jesus, even if it makes no **** sense at all.




Posted by Stalolin

I think that right now all of DA should agree that if there is an omnipotent being, he isn't the Christian ***.




Posted by Ant

vampiro it is then lol




Posted by sniper

VAMPIRO FOR OMNIPOTENT BEING '06




Posted by The Judge

Linko: Feeling pretty @#&%ing bad about something != repenting. And like Vampiro said, there's a certain point where repenting does nothing anymore. Like betraying the Lord.




Posted by Ant

science.




Posted by Slade

...But if he didn't betray the Lord like he was supposed to none of us would be able to go to Heaven. :S

THANK THE LORD FOR JUDAS




Posted by Lord of Spam

praise *** for jesus's's's's's''s death




Posted by Ant

He'd have died eventually.




Posted by Slade

Yeah, wouldn't that make a lame story? If he had ended up dying of old age, then everyone would have been like, "Why didn't you kill him sooner so we could stop sacrificing ****?"

'Cause back then it would have taken like 300 yrs for him to die.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire


Quoted post:
...But if he didn't betray the Lord like he was supposed to none of us would be able to go to Heaven. :S

THANK THE LORD FOR JUDAS


All Judas did was identify Jesus (lol with a kiss, what a fag.) Though he betrayed Jesus, Jesus would have eventually been identified and killed. Plus, Jesus didn't even want to die, it was an angel that gave him the strength to die for us. So he's a pussy of a martyr.



Posted by Ant

Talking badly about jesus? TO HELL WITH YOU!




Posted by Zeta

Purgatory or bust.




Posted by The Judge

...What?




Posted by Zeta

She meant suicidal children don't get a pair of dice. The afterlife is just one big casino, with heaven giving you a higher chance of winning than hell.




Posted by The Judge

What if Hell was just a place where bad people got to do what they wanted as well?




Posted by Slade

Then who would they be killing/raping? Bad people who like to be killed and raped?




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire


Quoted post: What if Hell was just a place where bad people got to do what they wanted as well?


Then the whole concept of life and G[COLOR="White"]o[/COLOR]d falls apart. Assuming G[COLOR="White"]o[/COLOR]d is real, you'd also have to assume that his antithesis exists, in one form or another. Due to that, you'd have to imagine that his dwelling would be the antithesis of G[COLOR="White"]o[/COLOR]d's in both concept and form.

So Hell would most likely be the Hell Christianity describes.



Posted by Slade

The latest thing I've heard at church is that Hell is a place of complete isolation from ***, not necessarily fire-y or torture-y or any of that.

That line in the Bible about much gnashing of teeth in Hell does sound pretty intense, though.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire


Quoted post: The latest thing I've heard at church is that Hell is a place of complete isolation from ***, not necessarily fire-y or torture-y or any of that.


That's exactly what it is now :cookie: Hell as people have known it for years is rarely used by the Church now. Yay controversy.

In Catholicism there's Purgatory, those that reach salvation, but haven't paid penance; and Hell, a place you stay for eternity without any hope for redemption or salvation. Christianity's view had been a place of endless proportions and torment. But yeah, now it just seems to be separation from G[COLOR="White"]o[/COLOR]d. Lame.



Posted by Linko_16

Dante wrote that Purgatory is also a place for those who repented, but waited until the last moments of their life to do so. Their admittance to heaven is long delayed; because they ignored Jesus for so long, he's going to ignore them for a bit. That's the contrapasso, the way in which their punishment mirrors their sin in some way. For instance, those who were slaves to their appetites (lust, gluttony) supposedly had no control over their body, so in Hell, they literally have no control as they're eternally whipped around in fierce winds. I know that doesn't sound as bad compared to something like being forver gnashed in Satan's mouth, but that one's only in the first circle of Hell... sins of the flesh are less severe than sins of the mind.


Quoting The Judge: Linko: Feeling pretty @#&%ing bad about something != repenting.

[QUOTE=Linko_16]EDIT - It specifically says in Matthew, the second gospel to be written and not too badly obscured by retellings, that Judas repented.


[quote=The Judge]And like Vampiro said, there's a certain point where repenting does nothing anymore. Like betraying the Lord.

I still think that's bull****. All aspects of Christianity suggest that Judas should've gotten off... How two of the gospels claim his brayal was due to possession by Satan, ***'s undying forgiveness for any who repent even if they once turned their backs to Him, Jesus's prior knowledge/calm acceptance of Judas's betrayal via omnipotence and how it was worked into his plan all along, et cetera.

It's all because, as Jews across the world can testify, those zany Christians have to find somebody to punish for the death of their Lord. You don't, you know, follow his example and love your neighbor or any crap like that.

"I do love my neighbor. That's why I don't live in a neighborhood with any **** Jews."

Shut up, Christian-Stereotype Man.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire


Quoted post: I still think that's bull****. All aspects of Christianity suggest that Judas should've gotten off... How two of the gospels claim his brayal was due to possession by Satan, ***'s undying forgiveness for any who repent even if they once turned their backs to Him, Jesus's prior knowledge/calm acceptance of Judas's betrayal via omnipotence and how it was worked into his plan all along, et cetera.


He was possessed by Satan because he was weak of the mind. Plus, though it worked into his plan, that still wouldn't exactly excuse the fact that you were the cause of the Lord's death. There's gotta be a line somewhere, and I think selling out your Lord for thirty pieces of silver crosses it by far.

And assuming he committed suicide, that right there grants you a first-class ticket to hell. So it wouldn't even matter if he repented or what have you.



Posted by Zeta

In b4 delete.




Posted by Slade


Quoting Kiyoshi: As I said before if you commit suicide, you don't go to heaven. But Judas would have been forgiven had he not commited suicide.

I happen to be writing an essay about assisted suicide at the moment, so I've recently done a little bit of research. Apparently some guy(priest of some sort) in the 1700's decided that when the Bible says, "Thou shalt not kill," it includes killing yourself. Then he said, "Well, since it's against one of the ten commandments, you're doomed to Hell if you do it." So the Bible really doesn't ever say that suicide = eternal ****ation. Plus, hardly any Christians(American, at least) nowadays believe that if you break one the of the ten commandments you are going to Hell, anyways. Maybe people say that because since you're dead you never repent..?

It's interesting to me how common suicide was in ancient Greece and such. According to some writings, people were jumping off of tall buildings everywhere. When I think of it, I imagine a Monty Python skit.

"Aye, hello there, and welcome to Athens!"
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH" *splat*
"Oh, try not to mind them, they've simply lost the will to live."
"NO ONE UNDERSTAAAAAAAAAANDS" *splat*



Posted by Lord of Spam

it would be rather hypocritical for *** to set in motion a plan tha requires the betrayal by judas and then punish him for it. so either judas gets off scott free, or *** is a spite little ****e not worth worshipping. your choice.




Posted by The Judge

[IMG]http://i135.photobucket.com/albums/q130/DVirusVX13/fingfreaky.gif[/IMG]




Posted by Zeta

I'd hit it.




Posted by The Judge

I figured no one would watch that until the gif kicked in.




Posted by Zeta

Oh wow. Completely missed the animation.




Posted by Shade

I told the lady who answered the phone that I wanted shoes made out of dragonscale, and she asked me what size I wanted.

Californian asians really are retarded. :cookie:




Posted by Zeta

They've gotta be retarded if they don't know what size you want.




Posted by Stalolin

picture from last page is from series of books with short horror stories in them that i used to read as a child

after looking at the pictures in the book i was no longer afraid of horror movies because i spent many a night awake in my bed wielding a flamberge named desire




Posted by Shade

Flamberge? More like Vorpal Sword.




Posted by The Judge

Flamberge = type of sword
Vorpal = enchantment put upon swords

It could very well be a vorpal flamberge




Posted by Shade

*sigh* You need more Tales of Phantasia.




Posted by Ant

nice job with the dragonscale shade.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

Oh ****, I remember those books. I still have them in my closet.




Posted by Shade

That gave me the urge to read Harry Potter, for some odd reason.




Posted by Linko_16

What books are these? I <3 horrors and would like to look them up.

She seems rather cheery for being so ugly.



Quoting Vampiro V. Empire: And assuming he committed suicide, that right there grants you a first-class ticket to hell.


Dante does have a circle of hell for those who commit suicide. *** probably got him on that technicality because, indeed, no where does it suggest that He couldn't forgive you even for that... he was just cheatin' his own system.

I still think Judas deserves to get off and, if there is truly a kind and loving ***, he had to have.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

*** doesn't seem all that kind and loving at times *shrugs*




Posted by Slade

Yeah, like throughout the whole Old Testament. I just think everyone thought there was a *** out to get them during that time, and later some people were like "hey man where's the love?" These people became known as Christians.




Posted by Linko_16

Old Testament = Hebrew Bible. And the Hebrew ***'s a bi[color=indigo]tch. The only reason the Pharoah resisted Moses for so long was because *** kept "hardening his heart" or some crap.[/color]




Posted by Slade

I think it says Pharaoh hardened his heart against ***'s attempts to show him with all those miracles and wouldn't let them free, actually.




Posted by Linko_16

The wording's different in the Christian version... what we read in class last year was directly from the Jewish one, and it indeed said that *** was the one doing it.

Also, relevent strip from SMBC, which I was linked to earlier:





Posted by Lord of Spam

religion is the biggest pile of fail known to man




Posted by Linko_16

You're just saying that because there's no debate on whether or not you're going to hell.




Posted by Lord of Spam

nah, all religion is bs.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

The interpretation of the bible is so horrible. Hell, on the topic of Judas, there was a misconception for a long time that he fell down a hill and his guts exploded. Hilarious.




Posted by Linko_16

Muslims refer to all translations of the Qu'ran as "interpritations"... which is a pretty acurate term.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

Too bad a ton Christians refer to it as the direct word from ***.