I don't feel like typing this whole thing out again, so I'll just post the conversation that Sabre and I had on AIM, and you guys can figure it out.
Feion Caztor: Hehehe. No, it's okay. My girlfriend has gone crazy again.
Feion Caztor: Literally, crazy.
Feion Caztor: She talks to herself about the Aryan Nation, Singapore, and Israel for days on end.
Feion Caztor: And about her daughter, her ex-boyfriends, and her mom too.
Feion Caztor: And I can't get her to go see her doctor.
Feion Caztor: So I think I may just leave.
Feion Caztor: But that's really hard to do when you love someone like I love her.
Dreamgate Sabre: That's terrible. :-( I don't know much about this stuff... but, just, don't leave.
Dreamgate Sabre: That's my heartfelt advice. You'll regret it, she'll only get worse on her own. Call the doctor in if you must.
Feion Caztor: I've tried.
Feion Caztor: there's no way I can do anymore
Feion Caztor: I'm just going to go get high as hell, quit my job, drop out of school, and spend some time thinking.
Feion Caztor: Since I'm driving her car, if I leave her, I have no car.
Feion Caztor: Thus, no way to get to work/school
Dreamgate Sabre: :/
Dreamgate Sabre: Hold on, if you leave her, where will you stay?
Feion Caztor: My Dad's
Dreamgate Sabre: Does he have a car you could borrow, maybe?
Feion Caztor: No, but he knows people who are selling their cars.
Feion Caztor: And I may buy one of those
Dreamgate Sabre: I really wouldn't advise ditching your education and job, especially not when you love her so much.
Feion Caztor: But if I leave her, I can't work or go to school, not for a little while. I'm seriously wishing I was dead right about now. I really need some ****.
Dreamgate Sabre: Why is leaving her a necessity? Not only would it be pejorative to you, but she'll have another helping hand less. :/
Feion Caztor: Pejorative?
Dreamgate Sabre: I probably malapropised, but it means not good, to put it simply.
Feion Caztor: Hehehe. Just like Dex.
Feion Caztor: But back on topic.
Feion Caztor: It is necessary mostly because of her children, specifically, her youngest daughter.
Feion Caztor: You see, if I stay with her, I don't get to have my own children.
Feion Caztor: I just get to have her children, and raise them as my own
Feion Caztor: And I'm willing to do that. I'm willing to sacrifice my chance at having children
Feion Caztor: But she won't let me act as their father, so if I stay with her, I don't get to raise them like my own, and I don't get to have my own.
Feion Caztor: So I'll never be a father if I stay with her.
Feion Caztor: And that's something I can't do.
Feion Caztor: I have too much to offer people to never raise children.
Dreamgate Sabre: Yeah... that's definitely a problem.
Dreamgate Sabre: And I see where you're coming from
Dreamgate Sabre: What a dilemma. :/
Feion Caztor: I know.
Feion Caztor: But I do know this. I want to have children.
Feion Caztor: Someday, I do.
Dreamgate Sabre: Yet, you love her.
Feion Caztor: And if she'd let me act as their father, and treat me like their father, I'd stay.
Feion Caztor: Yes I love her.
Dreamgate Sabre: Stuck between a rock and a hard place, so to speak.
Dreamgate Sabre: :/
Feion Caztor: But the last thing my granpa said to me before he died was a simple phrase:
Feion Caztor: "Look out for number one"
Feion Caztor: He meant when it comes down to harming yourself or someone else, choose to harm someone else and save yourself.
Feion Caztor: Especially because I'm 19.
Feion Caztor: And she's 34.
Feion Caztor: She's not gonna impact anything now. Her chance is up to change the world.
Feion Caztor: Mine is just beginning
Feion Caztor: If I waste away here in misery, I'll never have the chance
Feion Caztor: And someday, I'll be 34 having never done anything
Dreamgate Sabre: Yes... you're correct.
Feion Caztor: But as you said, I love her.
Feion Caztor: Truthfully, I love her more than I love myself.
Feion Caztor: And she has done so much for me, I feel as though I owe her some misery to make up for what she's been through on my account
Feion Caztor: But I really have to leave her. I just don't have a way to get by without her. I need her to continue living, but I can't continue living with her. Ironic, eh?
Dreamgate Sabre: Yup... it's a paradox, really.
Feion Caztor: And here I am, absolutely screwed.
If any of it doesn't make sense, let me know, and I'll fill in the holes.
Fei-on