Live Commentary from Dora's Friendship Adventure




Posted by Linko_16

... Or whatever the hell this movie's called. I'm so turned on to the idea of really cool bad guys turning to the side of good, I actually decided to watch this thing about Sniper joining forces with Dora to return all the Friendship bracelets he stole from around the world. If everyone wears them at the same time, a giant rainbow or some crap's supposed to appear.

Commentary #1: Man, Swiper's getting high tech. He swooped in from a @#$%ing helicopter to steal these bracelets.

Commentary #2: The map may be able to tell you where crap is, but he sure blows at navigation. They have to go to to Frace, some country in Southern Africa I don't remember, Russia and China, in that order. Jesus Christ, that's going way out of your way. Even if you went from France to Africa first, you'd think you'd hit up China on the way to Russia.

Commentary #3: Either the ocean is very small, or the Eiffel Tower is really big, 'cause you can see it all the way from Mexico (or whereever they live).

Commentary #4: Ocean Liners have giant faces on them. It's a fact, look it up.

Commentary #5: Looks like they moved the gargoyles in Paris from the cathedrals onto these crappy little stands in the middle of the street. Now they give directions.

More to come. This is some funny @#$%.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

Wait, what show?




Posted by Linko_16

Dora the Explorer. It's a "Prime Time Special," which is dumb because kids young enough to watch this regularly are already in bed.

Commentary #6: Tanzania was the name of that Southern Arfrican country. The lions there hug very gay-like.




Posted by Linko_16

Commentary #7: Dora and her African friend are currently riding an African Elephant. Don't these people know anything? African ones will tear you apart if you do that.

Commentary #8: Jesus, don't they have law enforcement anywhere in the world? Aside from Swiper, there's a criminal mastermind in every country. In Africa, it's Sammy the Hyena... back in France, it was Fifi the Skunk. Cousine to Pepe?




Posted by Slade

So this is on TV, and it's meant for little kids? It sounds a lot more like some video you'd find on the internet.


But I do love my Dora the Explorer.

SWIPER NO SWIPING, SWIPER NO SWIPING, SWIPER NO SWIPING

AWW MAN




Posted by Linko_16

Commentary #9: At first I thought this program just didn't have commercials, since it was going a very long time without it, but it looks like they just waited for ages so they could play a half-hour of commercials. Dicks.




Posted by mis0

Animals are criminalistic. That's why we have to shoot them with a double barrel shotgun. To keep them from theiving.




Posted by Linko_16

Commentary #10: I just noticed that I misspelled "Swiper" as "Sniper" in my first post. I lol'd at the thought.

"Do you see Sniper? If you see Sniper, yell 'Sniper, no Sn-'" BOOM HEADSHOT




Posted by Linko_16

Commentary #11: "Hello" in Russia seems to be "afraidyet," pronounced "freed-yet." Bad-***.




Posted by Slade

Oh it's all your own commentary. I get it now. In that case, funny stuff.




Posted by Linko_16

Commentary #12: The thief in Russia is Fumka the Dancing Bear. I haven't laughed so hard this whole show.




Posted by mis0

Maybe Steven Colbert is on to something with these bears?




Posted by Linko_16


Quoting Slade: Oh it's all your own commentary. I get it now. In that case, funny stuff.


Yeah, I probably should've said of instead of from in the title.

Commentary #13: I already know that "hello" in Mandarin is "ni hao," but what I didn't know is that you're supposed to say it to inanimate objects such as pa***as and bamboo.

Commentary #14: Every child in China is an olympic gymnist.

Commentary #15: They had to do a "Super Jump" to get over the Great Wall, which sounded like a videogame move, but the speed lines actually made it look more like something out of DBZ.

Commentary #16: YINYING THE WEASEL.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

I bet there's a raccoon who steals stuff and has a very black name. Like Jamal the cherry stealing 'Coon.




Posted by Linko_16

Commentary #17: To get past the gate troll in Russia (forgot to write this one down when she was there), you have to make him laugh. Swiper makes the best funny faces ever.

Commentary #18: The gag at the very end is, after they get everyone a friendship bracelet, there's one left for you, which they hold out for you to take. Made me think, what if there were two kids watching? Would they fight over it?

Commentary #19: In conclusion: Swiper the Fox is cool... but it'd be even more awesome if he was a sniper, too.

EDIT -


Quoting Vampiro V. Empire: I bet there's a raccoon who steals stuff and has a very black name. Like Jamal the cherry stealing 'Coon.


I actually invented for my friend, who creates anthropromorphic characters (not furry, take it from me), a thieving character by the name of Jasper Coon. I felt very unoriginal when I went home that day and saw a commercial for Sly Cooper 3.




Posted by sniper

teh fukc am i doing with dora




Posted by Ant

I thought this was actual commentary from the movie dvd...what a disappointment.




Posted by Slade

The LotR commentary is awesome, is it not?

"It's a box of spices from good ol' Took(can't remember his full name)."
"Oh, so what's in it?"
Marijuana.