... Or whatever the hell this movie's called. I'm so turned on to the idea of really cool bad guys turning to the side of good, I actually decided to watch this thing about Sniper joining forces with Dora to return all the Friendship bracelets he stole from around the world. If everyone wears them at the same time, a giant rainbow or some crap's supposed to appear.
Commentary #1: Man, Swiper's getting high tech. He swooped in from a @#$%ing helicopter to steal these bracelets.
Commentary #2: The map may be able to tell you where crap is, but he sure blows at navigation. They have to go to to Frace, some country in Southern Africa I don't remember, Russia and China, in that order. Jesus Christ, that's going way out of your way. Even if you went from France to Africa first, you'd think you'd hit up China on the way to Russia.
Commentary #3: Either the ocean is very small, or the Eiffel Tower is really big, 'cause you can see it all the way from Mexico (or whereever they live).
Commentary #4: Ocean Liners have giant faces on them. It's a fact, look it up.
Commentary #5: Looks like they moved the gargoyles in Paris from the cathedrals onto these crappy little stands in the middle of the street. Now they give directions.
More to come. This is some funny @#$%.
Wait, what show?
Dora the Explorer. It's a "Prime Time Special," which is dumb because kids young enough to watch this regularly are already in bed.
Commentary #6: Tanzania was the name of that Southern Arfrican country. The lions there hug very gay-like.
Commentary #7: Dora and her African friend are currently riding an African Elephant. Don't these people know anything? African ones will tear you apart if you do that.
Commentary #8: Jesus, don't they have law enforcement anywhere in the world? Aside from Swiper, there's a criminal mastermind in every country. In Africa, it's Sammy the Hyena... back in France, it was Fifi the Skunk. Cousine to Pepe?
So this is on TV, and it's meant for little kids? It sounds a lot more like some video you'd find on the internet.
But I do love my Dora the Explorer.
SWIPER NO SWIPING, SWIPER NO SWIPING, SWIPER NO SWIPING
AWW MAN
Commentary #9: At first I thought this program just didn't have commercials, since it was going a very long time without it, but it looks like they just waited for ages so they could play a half-hour of commercials. Dicks.
Animals are criminalistic. That's why we have to shoot them with a double barrel shotgun. To keep them from theiving.
Commentary #10: I just noticed that I misspelled "Swiper" as "Sniper" in my first post. I lol'd at the thought.
"Do you see Sniper? If you see Sniper, yell 'Sniper, no Sn-'" BOOM HEADSHOT
Commentary #11: "Hello" in Russia seems to be "afraidyet," pronounced "freed-yet." Bad-***.
Oh it's all your own commentary. I get it now. In that case, funny stuff.
Commentary #12: The thief in Russia is Fumka the Dancing Bear. I haven't laughed so hard this whole show.
Maybe Steven Colbert is on to something with these bears?
I bet there's a raccoon who steals stuff and has a very black name. Like Jamal the cherry stealing 'Coon.
Commentary #17: To get past the gate troll in Russia (forgot to write this one down when she was there), you have to make him laugh. Swiper makes the best funny faces ever.
Commentary #18: The gag at the very end is, after they get everyone a friendship bracelet, there's one left for you, which they hold out for you to take. Made me think, what if there were two kids watching? Would they fight over it?
Commentary #19: In conclusion: Swiper the Fox is cool... but it'd be even more awesome if he was a sniper, too.
EDIT -
Quoting Vampiro V. Empire: I bet there's a raccoon who steals stuff and has a very black name. Like Jamal the cherry stealing 'Coon.
I actually invented for my friend, who creates anthropromorphic characters (not furry, take it from me), a thieving character by the name of Jasper Coon. I felt very unoriginal when I went home that day and saw a commercial for Sly Cooper 3.
teh fukc am i doing with dora
I thought this was actual commentary from the movie dvd...what a disappointment.
The LotR commentary is awesome, is it not?
"It's a box of spices from good ol' Took(can't remember his full name)."
"Oh, so what's in it?"
Marijuana.