Ridiculous excuses




Posted by Ch

Yea so I skipped my math class last Thursday at school and left to go to McDonalds. I finally got apprehended for it today and my administrator called me down to his office and he asked me... "Where were you for math last Thursday?"

"This is really embarrasing. I was in the bathroom the whole period. Stomach bug."

He just kind of gave me a mortifying look and sent me back to class. I didn't get in any trouble.

I BOL'D all the way back to class.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

That's not so ridiculous. I remember back in grade eight, there was this kid named Adam, he brought a lighter into class and flicked it on when the teacher was out, another just happened to be walking by and saw the flame. She asked why he had it, and I **** you not, he said he had to take it because his mom ran out of room in her closet. He was suspended for a week, extra two days for lying. It was hilarious.




Posted by Poison

I’ve once tricked a girl into having sex with me (twice), she thought I would bring her to the United states with me. I came in her both times. Me > Stupid asian chicks.




Posted by Lord of Spam

[QUOTE=Poison]I




Posted by Poison


Quoting Lord of Spam: Would you be interested in having a religion formed around you?

Only if:




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

I'm game.




Posted by Sapphire Rose

No lie:

"Matt! Why are you sleeping in my class?!"

"Because you're a fat faggot."

Ten minutes later I was part of in-school suspension. Best three weeks ever.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

SR wins. Oh ***.




Posted by Lord of Spam

Wait, rose's name is matt? WE MUST DUEL TO THE DEATH. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE.




Posted by The Judge

You're 5head. He's Gay Matt.

Problem solved.




Posted by mis0

I remember once the school security guard asked me where I was going (leaving campus early) I just looked back over my shoulder and said "wild sex".

They actually didn't stop me. :cool:




Posted by Lord of Spam

Well duh, nobody wants to tackle someone that has wild sex on their mind.




Posted by Slade

That story is proof that Miso is a womenz. Sorry, LoS.




Posted by Lord of Spam

Thats not true at all. Anyone can yell about wanting wild sex. it doesnt imply gender at all.




Posted by Slade

Here, I'll analyze the post...(lol ANALyze)


Quoting Misoxeny: I remember once the school security guard

Here a guy would use the term "dumbass mother****er" instead of "school security guard."
[quote]asked me where I was going
Everyone knows that security automatically yells at guys because they're definitely going to be skipping. No need to ask.
[quote]I just looked back over my shoulder and said "wild sex".
A guy would have to accompany that statement with wild pelvic thrusting. That would involve turning all the way around and standing there for a while. So because she's a girl the guards are like "wtf hawt" and just stand there thinking about how hawt it is, while if it were a guy he'd get tackled and punished, etc.



Posted by sniper

Miso is an asexual male.




Posted by The Judge

Slade has a point.

I dunno, yesterday I skipped class to go to a meeting at "work."

And by meeting I mean hanging out.

And by work I mean a friend's house.




Posted by Lord of Spam

Slade, you couldnt be more wrong. First of all, nobody describes school security as dumbass mother ****ers unless they were a total retard, which miso is not. So that could just mean hes a reasonable intelligent guy. Second, if you look mellow and like you have a reason to be where you are, (thats the confidence thing again, look nervous and people assume that you're up to something. Look calm and they dont think twice, even if you're up to no good), chances are even the most uptight guards will only ask. Third, it is possible to not hump wildly like HADO GEI DESU HOOOOOOOOO~ everytime you mention sex. I have said the word sex many a time without humping anything. And finally, the biggest point. School security gaurds are very lonely men, since they're complete and total losers. Thus, if a woman were to mention wild sex, they would become intruiged and seek more information in the hopes that they could be part of said wild sex. However, should a guy mention wild sex, it would only make them depressed while they thought about all the wild sex they arent having. Thus, if miso WERE a chick, she would have been acosted and subsequently hit on by the guard, whereas if he was a guy (which i posit is the case), the guard would have been so overcome with a sense of failure at his pathetic life that he would be too busy crying tears of shame to give further pursuit.




Posted by The Judge

You're both trying to state stupid jokes and stereotypes as facts.




Posted by Lord of Spam

Dude, stereotypes are facts. As DnD players who also visit 4chan, neither of us has eer talked to a girl without either paying or climaxing after saying "hi". Ant, as a heftier fellow, is always jolly and in a good mood. Vamp likes to kill things and rape chil... wait a second...




Posted by The Judge

That's me :grrr:




Posted by mis0


Quoting Lord of Spam: Slade, you couldnt be more wrong. First of all, nobody describes school security as dumbass mother ****ers unless they were a total retard, which miso is not. So that could just mean hes a reasonable intelligent guy. Second, if you look mellow and like you have a reason to be where you are, (thats the confidence thing again, look nervous and people assume that you're up to something. Look calm and they dont think twice, even if you're up to no good), chances are even the most uptight guards will only ask. Third, it is possible to not hump wildly like HADO GEI DESU HOOOOOOOOO~ everytime you mention sex. I have said the word sex many a time without humping anything. And finally, the biggest point. School security gaurds are very lonely men, since they're complete and total losers. Thus, if a woman were to mention wild sex, they would become intruiged and seek more information in the hopes that they could be part of said wild sex. However, should a guy mention wild sex, it would only make them depressed while they thought about all the wild sex they arent having. Thus, if miso WERE a chick, she would have been acosted and subsequently hit on by the guard, whereas if he was a guy (which i posit is the case), the guard would have been so overcome with a sense of failure at his pathetic life that he would be too busy crying tears of shame to give further pursuit.

There were a pair of said guards; one overweight Mexican and another even fatter Black woman, both female. There are a few male security guards but the typically run the detention hall, and the women guards typically held the gate post, sometimes with the fuzz, too.

I think. I don't really remember because of all the brain damaging wild sex. :cool:



Posted by Lord of Spam

If you can remember the party the next day without pictures or video, it wasnt fun enough:cookie:




Posted by Arcadios

There was a kid in the 10th grade math class that went by the name Ryan Smith.
He light a lighter near a girls hair during class and it caught on fire but only for like a seoncd before it went out. My teacher freaked out on him and asked "What the hell are you doing?!", he responded "I was showing them how it worked.". Afterwords he was taken to the principles office and the room smelled like burned plastic. I have yet to see him since I moved out of that school but he was expelled for the year.




Posted by sniper

Queer. I know a Ryan Smith who is the type of person that would do the same thing.