K, so I just fineshed writing a new song. I wanted some comments on the lyrics.
Where did the love go?
Over time it fades.
Where did the pain go?
Over time it numbs.
Where did my life go?
Over time its for-got-ten!
*Solo*
Where does this road go?
Does it lead to you?
Where does this road go?
Does it lead to pain?
Where does this road go?
Does it lead to a-ny-thing?
Because I'm lost in this world of pain!
I'm lost in this world of names!
Can't you see?
I just need some place to be.
I need some place to be, O can't you see?
I need to find my meaning
I'm wanderfring searching for - searching for anything!
Because I'm lost in this world of pain!
I'm lost in this world of names.
Can't you see? I just need some palce to be.
I wrote this song about my life right now. It's kind of all over the place. And I'm searching for an answer.
You could probably be in Linkin Park.
edit: if you take out that badly placed solo.
You don't need a solo.
Alrighty then. No solo. I never liked playing it. So it's all for the best I suppose.
I don't believe that you could play it at all anyway.
Why the hell does everyone doubt me?
I HAVE BECOME SO NUMBLY INSECURE LOSING MY HEAD LOOKING FOR SOMEWHERE I BELONG IN THIS WORLD OF PAIN CRAWLIN' OUT OF MY ANGSTY LITTLE MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIND!!
I need a mic :(
Can you record it?
Hey, I just wrote a song too!
DICKS DON'T GROW ON TREES
NO THEY DON'T NO THEY DON'T NO THEY DON'T NO THEY DON'T
DICKS
DON'T GROW ON TREES
NO THEY DON'T NO THEY DON'T NO THEY DON'T NO THEY DON'T
YOU ONLY FIND THEM ON VGC
THIS ONE'S FOR YOU, KILLER JORDO
[insaaaaane guitraar breakdown!!!~1#'1]
Dude, that song is awesome! We should totally form a band. I can play the gong!
Never talk to me again. Ever.
... what the **** is with the random solo? Not only does it sound like it doesn't even belongs in that particular song, it's not even in the right place.
As for the lyrics, lol. Work on them a bit more. But I don't expect much from someone your age. Should improve after you grow up a bit.
I have no problems with that suggestion, because you don't understand what a joke is.
... are you talking to me?
No, I was joking, again, because he said don't talk to me. By saying I would comply, even, I was talking to him. It was supposed to be funny, but like a lot of what I say, it only turned out funny after someone misunderstood it.
Thanks Vampy, I'll think about that. Yeah I took the solo out. I think I'm going to take my acoustic guitar to school and play this in class. Every Monday, and Friday someone has to do something creative. Like recite a poem, draw a picture for the class, or paint, or sing a song. I'm going to sing and play guitar. No solo though. By the way. Stone Cold Crazy, stay out of my topics kthxbye
I think it's cool. And its clean so thats a plus.
When the hell did Linkin Park become my favorite band?
I listen to their music, but I'm not like OMG LINKIN PARK. Where as I'd be like OMG BEATLES STUFF! With the Beatles. I actually ran uptown after I went home and grabbed my wallet just so I could buy a Beatles banner. This happened 5 day's ago. And I am in love with this banner.
Also, I don't care much for alot of swearing in songs. Sometimes it's good to use it. But other times it can just ruin the song.
I think the last thing people will think of when they read that is the Beatles.
makes me jealous you can write songs =]. i was never any good at them or any poetry for that matter. heck, even haikus/acrostics made me pull my hair out. my poor hair.... *rambles*
He can't though. That's one of the main problems with his song
I'm sorry but those lyrics are horrible. Absolutely nothing original in it...and the solo out of nowhere?
I took the ****ing solo out. Read the **** thread. Next, I wrote it do to the fact that I don't really have a home. No I don't write music like the Beatles, and yes it may resemble LP. But that does not mean I based it off of LP writing.
It doesn't matter why you wrote it, really. Because, no matter what the situation or the conditions of your life, you could have been a lot more creative and deep. Those lyrics you can get from just about any mainstream band these days. If it's personal, make them personal. Makes sense, right?
I love it.
I'm probably going to be considered an invader, since he told me to stay out, but I'm not really out to get him like he thinks. It was a good first try for someone who has never even attempted to write a song before. It's not an instant classic, but it's a decent first shot. I doubt he intends to release it or anything. He could work on it a little more. I say he deserves credit for writing a song that he probably knows isn't like a Lennon-McCartney, but he was still willing to share it.
Anyway, even though you like the Beatles, this song shows no real influence from them. It's kinda angsty and it's really simplistic, so it shows more of an emo or the like sort of influence, such as what you might get from Bands like Linkin Park, so since you listen to them, it's probably influenced by their songs. There's nothing wrong with that. They're successful, even though they're not quite my taste. By the way, he took out the solo after he realized it was weird there.
For examply, I listen to the Beatles, Queen, Led Zeppelin, and a variety of folk rock and blues artists, but I also listen to bands like Soundgarden and Nirvana and metal artists like Ozzy Osbourne. I have a feeling that if I wrote a song it would probably be something like a grunge song or some kind of metal. I'm not saying I'm the equal of those artists lyrically, but I would probably try to shape a sound from what I heard them do first because I'd be more comfortable.
That's just me, though. I guess you could say that my defending him here is my way of kinda making up for the fact that I might have been harsh on him elsewhere. Keep working on it, it'll come to you with practice. Most of the best songwriters started with simplistic arrangements before moving into something like "Hey Jude" or "Bohemian Rhapsody", ya know?