ITT we preserve precious bits of CP, like the Willy Wonka one, the George Zimmer skit, the Fresh Prince, etc.
This is our arsenal of amazing /b/tardedness. Do not fail us.
Lets begin:
"Does master want Suiseiseki to give him a footrub-desu?" she purred.
"No thank you," I said. "I'm rather tired. You should retire to your box."
"But master-sama, Suiseiseki doesn't like her box-desu! I want to sleep in master-sama's bed-desu!"
"Not tonight. You'll do as you're told."
"Why doesn't master-sama have real girls in his bed?"
"What?!"
"Is master-sama's [COLOR=#156DE1]PENIS[/COLOR] too small for real girls?"
"Why aren't you saying desu?"
"Does he have to use dolls instead?"
"SAY DESU! SUISEISEKI FINISHES HER SENTENCES WITH DESU!"
"Master-sama showed Suiseiseki his [COLOR=#156DE1]PENIS[/COLOR] once."
"DESU! MASTER-SAMA SHOWED SUISEISEKI HIS [COLOR=#156DE1]PENIS[/COLOR] ONCE DESU!"
"It was too small even for dolls."
"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! YOU'RE NOT SUISEISEKI!"
With my right hand I snatched a pair of scissors from my desk and mashed them continually into her face. Her little body was smashed into kindling but I did not stop. Until her screams began to sound a bit like my voice, and I remembered that dolls did not scream, and they did not bleed. Suddenly there was feeling in my left hand for the first time in weeks. I lifted it out of the doll's wreckage, covered in splinters and dripping from scissored wounds. How long had my hand been inside there? How long had I been inside here, alone in my one-room apartment, talking to myself, going mad? The bolt scraped rust from the latch as I stepped outside. My eyes hurt, *** the horizon ... it was a deal larger than 19 inches diagonally. But after five steps my breath quickened and my chest tightened and I turned back. Enough for today. Tomorrow I would try for six. A distant memory told me that when I reached two hundred and eighty, I would make it to the bus stop. And then I'd be free of this apartment, of this prison. And then there'd be nowhere in the world I couldn't go. Least of all the refunds counter at Moemart in Akihabara. For f[COLOR=Black]uc[/COLOR]k's sake. Suiseiseki finishes her sentences with desu.
She approached the bathroom and got into the shower. She turned on the water. I was convinced that this was the one moment I had been searching for. This was my chance to cross over into the other world described in Utena; the fabric of reality was thin. I could taste it. In many of my anime programs I had seen the seemingly normal characters, like me, enter into a world of magic and joy.
I rolled out from under the bed and bounded into the bathroom. She saw my large form approaching through the glass of the shower and started screaming. I was having epileptic flashes; the screaming sounded just like "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" I was having trouble walking, my steps staggered. I couldn't feel the floor. My meaty hands slammed the shower door open, but she sprayed me with a jet of water. The water triggered another fit and I seized, falling into the bath. She tripped and fell on top of me. As she was screaming and my blood filled the bath, it swirled around reality, and intermingled in my mind. Her screams, the blood, my sweat, the uniform, Japan, schoolgirls, magic, tragedy, terror, and hope all become one to me. For one moment, I could taste it. The anime reality. It was here, like a precious jewel perched between my meaty, sweaty pectorals. And then, gone.
SO yeah I like anime.
lol internet
I swear, man, if you regurgitate this **** in september I'm going to wreck your nutsack with a crowbar. And especially since we've got the top extension room next term, a term of LOL CP is going to be less than fun.
mother****er
waitwaitwait, you know the rooms now?
The end room???
THE END ROOM?? WE???
Yes. We. Us. We decided. We get top extension.
Unless George and Macintosh decide to go totally black on us and force us into one of the rooms at the top of the house - You know, the ones we had in fifth. For some reason we're getting them in 6B now. :/ Only extension rooms the fifths get this year are top and bottom end rooms.
"omg its like reading harry potter"
First thought. Think of it what you will.
Huh, that makes a lot of sense.
BRITISH = FAGGOTS
What is all of this ****? are you guys raping young girls again or something?
Nah, just discussing dorms for september :) I've got a room with Dread next term. WOO HOO, WE WON'T GET ANY WORK DONE. AGAIN.
Too busy with sodomy and fapping to bridget, amirite?
I would assume that klarth would be the one toh have to wear the bridget costume. I mean, hes got the coloring, and he's british, so he's halfway to being a woman already.
My hair's returning to brown. AND I DO NOT LOOK FEMININE GOD****INGDAMMIT
sorry ma'am.
Dude, when I finally get the ******* pics loaded, you'll see how frighteningly feminine I am.
So, wait, Jack, are we in Farrel/Birley? Cuz I kinda wanted the one with the ladder and cave.
Boarding school sounds magical!
sounds one like hueg mantrain
[quote=Dreadnought]So, wait, Jack, are we in Farrel/Birley? Cuz I kinda wanted the one with the ladder and cave.
k, they changed a load of ****, so the dorms we have this year are:
- The two rooms on the ground floor near teeton's study
- The rooms at the end of the top extension and the end of the bottom extension
- The two attic rooms we had this year (you know, when I had one with Laz and you had one with Walter)
Wilkinson (the room with the ladder) is now either a 6A room or a fifth room. Can't remember, but it's pretty gay!
There was a tale of incest on /b/ last night that ended in a candle jack. It was hilarious to watch all the cries of ZOMG MOAR PLS that followed.
Candle jack?
someone says candle jack and then everything sto
haha wtf?
its from freekazoid. Download and watch it, and you'll understand.
I remember Freakazoid from back in the day. It was a pretty funny cartoon, actually.
I watched Freakazoid a few times in, like, 1995. 90s cartoons were weird ****.
Ren and Stimpy, Rocko's modern life, and Beavis and Butthead are seriously the basis of a religion just waiting to happen.
Ohhh man, yeah, Rocko. ROCKO'S MODEEEERNNN LIIIIIFE! rocko's modern liROCKO'S MODEEEEERRNNN LIIIIIFE!
Chokey chicken is people.
I remember Rocko too.
That was classy. You let us know you remember, but were so grim about is that you didnt even feel the need to quote it.
I have watched [COLOR=Black][COLOR=black]nigg[/COLOR][/COLOR]ers destroy the little town I live in. Anytime the city makes an improvement, [COLOR=Black][COLOR=black]nigg[/COLOR][/COLOR]ers [COLOR=Black]fuc[/COLOR]k it up as quick as they can. New basketball court? [COLOR=Black][COLOR=black]Nigg[/COLOR][/COLOR]ers steal nets, spraypaint the backboards and courts, then cover the place in crack pipes and McDonald's wrappers. New club open's up? Some[COLOR=Black] [COLOR=black]nigg[/COLOR][/COLOR]er shoots some oth[COLOR=Black]er [COLOR=black]nigg[/COLOR][/COLOR]er, and the club gets shut down. Is there a restaraunt in town? St[COLOR=Black]upid [COLOR=black]nigg[/COLOR][/COLOR]ers (redundant, I know) get in food fights, steal garbage cans, and break windows. Then they ***** at the city council meetings about how the racist white people in town (20% of the population, including 1 council member, but no other elected officials) are holding them down and oppressing their culture and not giving them enough food stamps. Then they drive back to their subsidized homes in brand new $60,000 SUVs with 24" spinners to eat the filet mignon they bought with their $400+ worth of food stamps, and wash it down with expensive yuppy beer (paid for with their welfare checks). Eventually they go to bed, then get up after noon and stare sullenly at me from their porches as I drive my beat-*** pickup truck home to eat lunch. I bust my *** 6 ****ing days a week so I can pay enough taxes to support these lazy mother****ers. When my friend that worked at the restaraunt the [COLOR=black]ni[COLOR=Black]gg[/COLOR][/COLOR][COLOR=Black]ers shut down tries to get food stamps, she has to fight tooth and nail just to get $150/month for her and her daughter. FUC[/COLOR]K [COLOR=black]NI[COLOR=Black]GG[/COLOR][/COLOR][COLOR=Black]ERS. I WISH THEY WOULD SUPPORT ME FOR A WHILE, SO I CAN RELAX AND ENJOY THE GOOD LIFE. I've got no problem with black people, but stupid [/COLOR][COLOR=black][COLOR=Black]nig[/COLOR]g[/COLOR]ers that are so caught up in being [COLOR=black]ni[COLOR=Black]gg[/COLOR][/COLOR][COLOR=Black]ers that they forget to be people...well, they have just got to go.
Anyway, works starts in about 5 hours, so maybe I should get some sleep instead of *****ing to /b/tards who'll just turn this into copypasta anyway. G'night ****tards.[/COLOR]
Day 1
Mommy, I am only 8 inches long, but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it, I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby.
Day 2
Mommy, today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me, you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here.
Day 3
You know what Mommy, I'm a girl!! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too, and I cry with you even though you can't hear me.
Day 4
Mommy, my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine, but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes, and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too.
Day 5
You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion?
Day 6
I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy!! HELP me!! No . . .
Day 7
Mommy, I am okay. I am in Jesus's arms. he is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy?
There is no such thing as rape. Any female who leaves her rightful place in the house and the kitchen is ****ing begging for cock in her holes. If she gets the cock she so badly is asking for, it's not ****ing rape, it's a **** slut getting what she ****ing deserves.
Males still rule this ****ing world. In most of the world, a ****ing ***** can get killed for looking at a man straight in the eye. In America and Europe, every day dumb sluts get their holes penetrated without their so-called consent, which isn't rape, just them getting the ****ing dick they deserve up their asses.
Sexual abuse is on the rise, spousal abuse is on the rise and more *****es die every year. ****ing ****s. I am so glad I was born a man. I am so glad there is a bunch of retarded sluts jumping trough hoops just to get my cock.
Haha, females are so ****ing sad. We treat you *****es like ****, and you still spend time, money and effort on trying to look good for us. Way to be a good slave, whores. Now keep acting like sluts and sucking our cocks. And if you change your mind after you leave the house, too ****ing bad, you're getting your holes ****ed and there isn't **** you can do about it because that's your only ****ing purpose in life..
Hey guys, I'm from the 4chan meme committee, this image attached to this thread is going to be popular pretty soon, so you better save it now.
HEY.
I NEED SOMEWHERE TO ****ING LIVE FOR THE REST OF THE SUMMER.
HEY. I'M IN THE US FOR THE NEXT MONTH.
HEY. WHEN ARE YOU GETTING BACK.
HEY, GO TO FLORIDA. ALL THE COOL KIDS ARE.
HEY. I DON'T KNOW WHY WE ARE YELLING.
BECAUSE YOU ARE IDIOTS.
sometimes i have PROBLEMS CONTRoling the VOLume of MY VOICE.
Cracky's so ****ing cute and sweet. I'd treat her to some fancy restaurant, then take a long romantic walk with her, holding hands and talking about philosophy, art and dreams. Then I'd invite her to my home and ravage her hot *** for hours, and forcing my cock down her throat so she choked on both the throbbing cock and her own rectal juice. I'd then proceed to cum on her cute innocent face. Then, as the ultimate love gift, I'd carry her in my arms to the tub and let my **** wash away the semen and last dignity from her. I'd whisper "I love you" and give her a tender smile, and cut her throat from ear to ear with a knife. Covered in her own warm blood, she'd look straight into my very soul, forgiving, understanding. A bubble from blood and saliva would burst between her lips, then she'd die. After some additional lovemaking, I'd stuff her in a bin bag. Three Weeks later, some playing children will find her mutilated and desecrated body in the forest. They will be scarred for life.
OH MY ****ING ***. I haven't laughed so hard for a long time.
i like how he says he plans to **** her even after he ****s on, ****es on, and then kills her.
I suck cocks for a living because I like the taste.[URL="http://berkeley.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1231179&l=433916fba5"][/URL]
I have literally not read a single post here, and I think the prime reason is that it started off with an unusually long post.
And I don't ever intend to. Every time I see it has a new post in it, I want to delete it just to get rid of it, but I never do.
What should I do, DA?
BE LITERATE.
just pretend it never happened. that's what I always do.
*Restrains deletion urge again*
what about when you post. Thats a new post, isnt it? DELETE YOUR OWN WORDS OR YOU ARE A COWARD, SIR.
WHERE THE **** IS MY CP?
the copy pasta is everywhere.
I think he wants loli cp, loserOFspam.
whoa, man, too far. TOO FAR.
k, nvm, found sum
enjoy your fapping/partyvan
Oh, I will.
jails closed due to aids.
wai-
I'll enjoy my AIDS too.