Ok, so Big Fuggin' Dave is walking towards you, with intention to Anally rape you, torture you, and kill you. Desperatly, yuo try and commit suicide, what would you do?
and no you cant kill Big Dave. You have to kill yourself.
Personally, i would franticlly run around to the back of my computer, and start desperatly gnawnig through the power wire.
Wow thats quite the silly situation.
Its funny you cant kill the guy.
I'd probably jump out the window...
Assuming I had anything I wanted with which to do the job? Bullet through the head seems most painless to me.
overdose of morphine.
Punch him in the balls and run. Or take it like a man and find some pleasure in it.
oh wai-
Choke myself on my sock.
Mass papercut myself and die in a pool of blood.
I'd have so much sex I died of a heart attack.
shove my fist up my ass and fart.
or
headbutt the wall.
No idea, bite my tounge - assuming I have no weapons with me.
Jump out the window sounds good if I have no weapons or anything...
Bullet to head if possible.
If nothing is available to top myself off with, Window seems like my only option.
Turn on my car, open the hood, snip the fuel line, and burn like a witch. I don't have public trans here, so I always have my car nearby. Either that or GUNZ LOLOlZ. Although seriously, I mean, c'mon. I could just UZI Joe or run him over. Or both.
Oh or id slam my throat on the corner of a table or chair
Immediately run into my kitchen a slam one knife up my [COLOR="black"]a[/COLOR]ss and one in my throat.
If it happened right here, right now, I have no clue. Since fighting back apparently isn't an option, I'd run for the window. However, I'm only on the second story, so I wouldn't die. That would probably mean he would just catch up to me and continue raping me.
In a real situation like that, if he wasn't in between me and my room, I'd run there and grab a knife or sword(s) which I keep in there and kill the guy. If he was in between me and them, I'd try to get to the kitchen for the knives. Otherwise I'd still jump out the window, try to fall so I don't hurt myself too badly, hop in my truck and drive off and/or run him over.
You can't kill big Dave, he's immortal. :)
The amount of replies involving self-inflicted anal penetration is pretty upsetting.
I guess something quick is best. I just hope he doesn't rape my corpse after I kill myself! :(
If I had to commit suicide right here, right now, then I'd jam this huge piece of peach pie down my throat. At least it'd taste good as it killed me.
die fighting like a soon-to-be-less-of-a man
I wouldn't commit suicide. If I'm going to die anyway, I might as well have some hot anal sex beforehand.
EDIT: Why is this funny? I'm totally serious.
WHOOAAAAHHHH new location.
So I'd totally jam this stapler down my throat. Or maybe do the Judge thing and staple my anus shut before killing myself.
Jump in front of a train.
I wouldn't care. Shitting on someone would be too hilarious for me to give a damn. Him acting like Buffalo Bill or rubbing it on himself would only make it that much funnier. Unfortantely/fortunately, I'd be dead so I couldn't laugh. Fuck the details I say.
i'll IMMEDIATELY pull down my pants and take it like a Man. You SISSYs want the easy way out.. pfffft..
Um... I'd probably take a heavy weight I have from my weight lifting set and hold it over my head then drop it. No wait that would probably just hurt really bad...
Um STAB MYSELF WITH A PENCIL..
I'd stick a paper clip in the power outlet.
i will take the hugest **** in the world and roll around in it. that way he does not want to anally rape me or even come near me. then i run away...and if he still wants me then a nice crack of the neck will do.
I would find a suicide booth from Futurama and select " quick and painless ".
I would use a weapon of mass-destruction. That oughta do the trick.
ummmm why the hell cant u kill big dave are you tied up or something??? bc i plan on ****in big dave up
I'd just press my 'Self-Destruct Button.' I'd have to do it instantly though, because it takes ten seconds for the countdown. By that time Dave would be next to me, and he too would die in the process.
Better?
Yeah, I'd say so. He's a real ****** now.
Pills. Syonide.