Actual Warnings




Posted by Delilah

First off, I have to give away the honorary "WTF" Award. It goes to:
"DO NOT HUMP" - Seen on a list of precautionaries on traincars. My sister and I saw it this morning, on our way to town. We laughed for five minutes straight.

"DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP WITH EITHER HANDS OR GENITALS." -Seen on a Chainsaw

"THIS FLOODLIGHT IS CAPABLE OF ILLUMINATING LARGE AREAS, EVEN IN THE DARK." -Komatsu grader manual of rear lights

"DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY." -Rowenta Iron

"DO NOT USE AS AN ICED CREAM TOPPING." -1980's Revlon Hair Dye package




Posted by Killer Jordo

Lol, it's amazing how stupid some companies can be. :p:




Posted by Boner

The best part about warnings like those is that there is usually some explicit reason for them going into that much detail. (ie. idiots have actually done those things before).




Quoting Killer Jordo: Lol, it's amazing how stupid some companies can be. :p:


The companies are not stupid. they are forced to put those warnings on their products as a result of being sued by retards. Remember when Mc Donald's was suied by some old lady who spilled hot coffee on her crotch? The result: "Caution. Contents is hot and may cause burns!"



Posted by junior senior

"WASH HANDS BEFORE EATING OR GOING TO THE BATHROOM" -Fertilizer




Posted by Zeta

Who the **** tried to stop a chainsaw with their genitals?




Posted by Trigger

"Do not fold pram whilst baby is still seated within." - Baby pram/stroller.

"Do not put baby in microwave." - Microwave.




Posted by Delilah


Quoting Zeta: Who the **** tried to stop a chainsaw with their genitals?


That is what I am wondering.



Posted by Sapphire Rose

"Do NOT blow dry in sleep!" My mothers blowdryer.
"This product moves when used." A Razor Scooter.
"Keep out of children." This stupid knife in my kitchen.
"Do not use as flotation device." On Lifesavers packs.
"Does not give ***-like powers." A Hercules costume I once had.




Posted by Delilah

Lol I went as hercules one year.




Posted by Trigger

"Do not use blow dryer whilst in shower." - Hair dryer.




Posted by Boner


Quoting Zeta: Who the **** tried to stop a chainsaw with their genitals?



That was me. It broke the chainsaw and they refused to reimburse me. Apparently those things weren't designed to cut through something that is as solid as brass. So, I sued. Hence the warning.



Posted by Linko_16


Quoting SapphireRose: "Do not use as flotation device." On Lifesavers packs.


This is the funniest one in the whole thread.



Posted by mis0

"VEHICLES MAY BE UNNOCCUPIED WHILE IN MOTION" - a sign near a trainyard. Real comforting.




Posted by Zeta

"OPEN OTHER END" - In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles.




Posted by Malevolence


Quoting Opeth: The companies are not stupid. they are forced to put those warnings on their products as a result of being sued by retards. Remember when Mc Donald's was suied by some old lady who spilled hot coffee on her crotch? The result: "Caution. Contents is hot and may cause burns!"

I'm assuming the idiot thought it was OK to spill hot coffee on her crotch?



Posted by Linko_16

I'd assume it was her accident, but some people do try to do stuff like that on purpose. At Fry's, we're warned to never leave spills until they're cleaned up, or announce it over the intercom, because there are indeed people who will "slip" and sue us for it if they spot a lone puddle.




Posted by WILLETH FOR MONTHS

I got a set of Christmas lights once. It said 'FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.'




Posted by The Judge

"Costume does not allow you to fly" -Superman Costume. My father is a member of the nuclear children who gave this warning validation.
"To be used outside" -Preparation H
"Lather, rinse, repeat" -Most shampoo. And you know some moron doesn't know when to stop.




Posted by Speedfreak

The booklet for my mp3 player instructs me not to "incinerate" the battery.




Posted by Axis

[IMG]http://www.wilderdom.com/images/RiskSharpEdgesSign.jpg[/IMG]




Posted by Klarth





Posted by Linko_16


Quoting The Judge: "Lather, rinse, repeat" -Most shampoo. And you know some moron doesn't know when to stop.


Wasn't that one of Brain's plans for taking over the world? Render the world helpless by instructing them to lather, rinse and repeat forever?



Posted by Zeta





Posted by junior senior

I don't get it?




Posted by Klarth

I lolled my ****ing socks off.




Posted by WackoHater2

This isnt really stupid.. but it made me laugh. If you've ever played Grand Theft Auto Vice City, there is a sign on the loading screen that says "No Trespassing: Violators will be shot, survivors will be shot again"




Posted by Klarth

Not funny!




Posted by WILLETH FOR MONTHS

Oh, GTA humour is awesome. It's because a lot of it, you don't get immediately, and then you re-read it and realisation dawns. Like TransFender in San Andreas, for example. In LCS, there's a supermarket called Fidl. And so on.




Posted by Hyper





Posted by Kent Traffic Cop

Please don't tell me this thing is real...

[IMG]http://www.woofd2.com/photogallery/FunnyVancouver.jpg[/IMG]




Posted by WILLETH FOR MONTHS

I think it is, you know. I've seen that somewhere before.




Posted by cas


Quoting Kent Traffic Cop: Please don't tell me this thing is real...

[IMG]http://www.woofd2.com/photogallery/FunnyVancouver.jpg[/IMG]



It is. I've seen them around, although not lately.

and not in North Van.



Posted by Zeta



I NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED!

EDIT: **** anti-hotlinking.




Posted by Arczu

Yeesh... I didn't even know such warnings existed.

It's almost like people are intentionally trying to find the flaw in anything to see if they can get some bucks out of it.




Posted by Delilah

Yes, that sign is real. There is one at the lake that I take my dog to.




Posted by Delilah

Yes, that sign is real. There is one at the lake that I take my dog to swim at. ((Sorry if this is a double post: my computer is being rather wierd today.))




Posted by Kit



Edit: Just remembered:

"Do not drink alcohol, smoke or operate heavy machinery after consuming this product." - Boot's Children's Cough Medicine.




Posted by Delilah

lol, doctored but cute.




Posted by Dark Seth

ello dragon rider. this is Inferno. I took your advice. there are alot of rude people here like that yachiru and the other 2 I was chatting with.




Posted by WackoHater2

On some lotion somewhere in my house there is a warning on it that says "for external use only" I dont understand how you'd go about rubbing it on the inside of your body.




Posted by WILLETH FOR MONTHS

You could drink it, or stick it in your pooper.




Posted by WackoHater2

Thats disgusting.. this is a bit mean.. but maybe they put it on there as a warning for gay guys....




Posted by Delilah


Quoting Dark Seth: ello dragon rider. this is Inferno. I took your advice. there are alot of rude people here like that yachiru and the other 2 I was chatting with.


Told you. Anyway, they may be rude, but at least they're not idiots like on GT... lol but i like this site. 'Tis addictive.