i work 40 hours a week while living in my moms living room
not very often
Often, but probably less than you think.
Heh, I remember when coro made this thread awhile back. Good times...good times.
In any case, idk, twice a week, maybe thrice.
Same as Ant I guess. Two to three times depending on how often I get something other than my hands.
One to two times a day nowadays. I'm a VERY horny bastard. Didn't Coro say he did it 5-6 times a day?
Maybe once every couple months?
I dont know.
1-2 times a day.
I need some action. :(
I'm with Zeta and Freddy. I'm a lusty bastard.
I was with Zeta and them until like two weeks ago. Haven't fapped since. :/
About once a day.
Anyone thats says less than that is lying.
or has a girlfriend :-*
About once a day.
Never.
I actually find it hard to believe how you could surpress such things...
Believe it or not, never. :(
Yeah, some males are just naturally asexual. No desire for that sort of thing.
Upwards of 500 times a year.
I just never really understood this urge or horniness ordeal to make people fap. I never really understood the pleasure in it either.
I must be void of personality! :eek:
I know a Catholic kid who is that way.
Nicest kid I know, btw. Coincidence?
edit: ninja Xenos...
No, you're female. It's a disease, but you'll have to bear with it.
Sometimes I think if I was a woman I'd be a complete whore. :/
Now my cock is throbbing and no, I am not Catholic, though I was raised as a Catholic and lived in a very rugged-traditional Asian household. :(
fappin' right now
In that case you are destined to live a life without sexual desire.
awesome
Xenos' rep and post count are the same, 'cept the 1 and 9 are swapped.
Yeah, good luck every having fun since SEX is the only cool thing to do. /MTVamirite
edit: stfu and fap^
I just finished fapping actually... good times, good times.
XENOS IS IMPOTENT.
E: what did i do vamp? :(
It's more of a general **** you as in "**** you, I just made your post lose all meaning."
Which is more of a specific **** you than a general one I guess...
idk :(
k, fap tyme.
I hit one off in between every post.
Mr. Nintendo's posts.
Little anecdote - Once I stayed home from school. A private, deeply religious Christian school. Guess what I did during my day off.
Not like, all day. Just sayin'
Usually once a day, occasionally twice. Occasionally not at all.
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I just now got that joke that Linko made.
In which case, ****.
Daily. Usually once or twice.
esus christ, i didnt expect real answers you sick ****s. I was waiting for "lol fapping right now" or "lol all the time".
I have to burn my eyes now.:(
I deleted all my loli yesterday, so I'm reduced to fapping to Vamp's Haruhi avatar and crying. The tears make the orgasm all the more worthwhile!
I kept it up for three and a half hours once. I fell asleep pretty fast afterwards.
Someone needs to bar graph who beats off the most.
I admire your tenacity, Klarth. Maybe I should pity you for such a feat, though. In any case, I'd fall asleep long before that. Night time is the right time.
I remember one time I was home with the flu and was(supposedly) fapping, but could only remember waking up with my hand in my pants and my web browser open to Vamp's public profile.
PENIS PENIS PENIS ^_^
I fap whenever I feel like it, which is usually 1-3 times every couple days.
I'm a lonely, lusty man with lonely, lusty needs.
SECONDED
I hate you
Hurrah for sex. I'm a horny ****, so like, after I have sex, I have sex again, and then a third time. Then when my girlfriend goes home a few hours i get horny again, so I gotta squeeze it out
You're lying.
Protip: act like an *******. Stupid horny women love it.
I didn't say that, fool.
I'm fapping right now. Not kidding. No matter how often I announce it, Dread is unfazed.
as long as no balls are touching its all good
im not wearing pants right now
make of tha twhat you will
I'm not either! LET'S GO JOIN THE NON-PANTS CLUB!
too late, put pants on after i took a dump
Hey, do you want to go to the pants party?
shorts
Zero Suit
jeans for everlasting win
I haven't worn shorts in years. Jeans4lyfe.
At this point, i have nothing against shorts, but have more pressing things to spend my money on.:(
I recently lost a pair of shorts. I wasn't too happy about it. Grim even.
you're too (a)pathetic to be grim
I do it like once a week, but one long fap. I start masturbating and then I have to stop because I get bored with the porn I
do not want
Ambidexterity for penile pleasuring purposes. I don't which is more impressive; that, or my beautiful alliteration.
It's more of a case of carrying over something I've been able to do since I was six to something that involves stroking my dick to porn. It's part of maturity. In that I took a skill I've always had and applied it to something more practical.
Definitely. Masturbation is so much more important than writing.
I AGREE 100%
Hemmingway's "couldn't get any, so I had to do it myself" years produced some of the best works of literature that exist today. Few know this, but he actually blew his brains out because of arthritis. Not because it stopped him from writing, but because it stopped him from WANKING.
At this point, I'm just hoping you picked up on the fact that I was completely unserious.
Do you really think I'd even continue to post if I thought you were serious? That'd just be fuking pathetic.
I'm speechless.
How did you get here, anyway?
[quote=Vampiro]
Do you mean the party in your pants?
...DO YOU WANT TO GO TO THE PANTS PARTY
I WOULD LIKE TO EXTEND TO YOU AN INVITATION TO THE PANTS PARTY
You're an annoying peice of crap. Is that so hard to understand, you loli-****ing-freak?
Idk, is it?
And his humor has dulled so much that even if he realized I was joking when I said that, he couldn't bring himself to laugh.
[quote=Ant]Eh
just punch him.
he only pretends to have the powers of darkness and death.
Spoilers: Tomorrow a thread will be made describing the death of Ant as "horrific".
Spoilers for tonight: My pants.
i just looked at stalolins sig, and i caught it at the begining. I immediately thougth that it was a fap gif. Then, when it wasnt, I lol'd. Then, I realized that probably only /b/tards would get it, and fap'd at the hilarity.
Yeah, I expected a cumshot. Then lol'd the genius of it.
Yeah, I've seen the "others" on /gif/. What I don't get is why they're popular. :/
But, bol'd and win'd, 'Lolin.
-kissie face-
I should make a gif of me fapping to a gif of me fapping to etc
I managed to link someone to ****ting dick nipples last night. i bol'd pretty hard
fap paradox
additional discussion peices.
WHAT DO YOU DO WITH YOUR OTHER HAND WHILE EXECUTING THE PROCEDURE?
AND
Do you clean up after or during orgasm?
my right hand does nothing. And I clean afterwards.
what the hell would you clean up for?
oh wait. guys make a mess.
UR A GURL? HOLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY SH[COLOR="Lime"]I[/COLOR]T!
YESSA.
I don't have anything witty to say right now. Tired. Vampiro can mod-ify this with something more interesting.
NO HE CAN'T
All vampiro understands is how to be a fagpiro.
No, vampiro knows how to love in ways you never could. His life is the basis for an inspirational movie starring Richard Gere entitled "To Dream At Last."
Yup. That's a fact.
I'd rather not look it up.
[quote=Stalolin]
WHAT DO YOU DO WITH YOUR OTHER HAND WHILE EXECUTING THE PROCEDURE?
AND
Do you clean up after or during orgasm?
[spoiler]I hold my balls[/spoiler] with my right hand [spoiler]to keep them from smacking me in the ***.[/spoiler] You probably don't want to unspoiler that.
And I don't clean up ;o
Gross
I fap with my left hand mainly. The joints in my right are turning arthritic, I think :(
lol old man klarth
I've done more fapping in four years than most old men do in their lives. :cool2:
You are very lonely. Here, I got you this:
Aww, thanks. I hope she has a dick!
She does.
....and she doesn't clean up afterwards, either. Might wanna shower after that encounter. And burn your sheets.
My sheets used to be black. Now they're a glossy shade of laminated grey.
Make of that what you will.
gawd, how can you stand to sleep in that? *** forbid, if a girl ever slept in those sheets she'd wake up with a fertilized ovum.
rofl
I never do it in bed. Not only would that be incredibly icky, but I share a room with three other guys, so it wouldn't exactly be condusive to their comfort.
So what, you drag your sheets into the bathroom?
And from what I hear, your roommates are plenty familiar with your manhood as it is.
What do I do with my other hand? Well, I close my eyes really tight and lightly put my pointer finger in my mouth and chew on that nail.
...
No, I don't do anything with it.
As for cleanup, I ejaculate dust, so I just take a rag to my cabinets every few months.
As if I needed to talk to anyone? Come on, it's all over the thread. Anytime you mention your own penis someone pops up to talk about how overexposed you are. Fukin shameful, man.
Jared.
Everyone wants my cock. Fact. Look it up.
However, at least I'm capable of avoiding genital tragedy.
Unlike Dread.
I, personally, do not want your cock, and thats a fact you can take to the bank.
The money bank. Of doom.
So I've been meaning to post it here for a bit, but I used to get songs from church stuck in my head whilst fapping. NO REASONABLE EXPLANATION