how often do you fap




Posted by Lord of Spam

i work 40 hours a week while living in my moms living room


not very often




Posted by The Judge

Often, but probably less than you think.




Posted by Ant

Heh, I remember when coro made this thread awhile back. Good times...good times.

In any case, idk, twice a week, maybe thrice.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

Same as Ant I guess. Two to three times depending on how often I get something other than my hands.




Posted by Captain Cleanoff

One to two times a day nowadays. I'm a VERY horny bastard. Didn't Coro say he did it 5-6 times a day?




Posted by Sapphire Rose

Maybe once every couple months?

I dont know.




Posted by Zeta

1-2 times a day.

I need some action. :(




Posted by The Judge

I'm with Zeta and Freddy. I'm a lusty bastard.




Posted by Slade

I was with Zeta and them until like two weeks ago. Haven't fapped since. :/




Posted by Stalolin

About once a day.

Anyone thats says less than that is lying.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

or has a girlfriend :-*




Posted by Crazy K

About once a day.




Posted by Dexter

Never.




Posted by Slade


Quoting Dexter: Never.

I don't blame you. It'd be hard for me to fap with paws, too.



Posted by Ant

I actually find it hard to believe how you could surpress such things...




Posted by Xenos

Believe it or not, never. :(




Posted by Slade


Quoting Ant: I actually find it hard to believe how you could surpress such things...

If I'm completely lonely, then I don't even want to go to all the effort of suppressing teh want 4 seckz... but if I just got a gf(even if not getting any at the time) then for at least a while the urge just leaves completely.



Posted by Ant


Quoting Xenos: Believe it or not, never. :(


Yeah, it's not that hard to believe. Same for Dexter.



Posted by Slade


Quoting Ant: Yeah, it's not that hard to believe. Same for Dexter.

Yes it fucking is, dude.



PAWS!!



Posted by sniper

Yeah, some males are just naturally asexual. No desire for that sort of thing.

Upwards of 500 times a year.




Posted by Xenos

I just never really understood this urge or horniness ordeal to make people fap. I never really understood the pleasure in it either.

I must be void of personality! :eek:




Posted by Slade

I know a Catholic kid who is that way.

Nicest kid I know, btw. Coincidence?


edit: ninja Xenos...




Posted by sniper

No, you're female. It's a disease, but you'll have to bear with it.




Posted by Slade

Sometimes I think if I was a woman I'd be a complete whore. :/




Posted by Xenos

Now my cock is throbbing and no, I am not Catholic, though I was raised as a Catholic and lived in a very rugged-traditional Asian household. :(




Posted by Zeta

fappin' right now




Posted by sniper

In that case you are destined to live a life without sexual desire.




Posted by Xenos

awesome




Posted by Zeta

Xenos' rep and post count are the same, 'cept the 1 and 9 are swapped.




Posted by Slade

Yeah, good luck every having fun since SEX is the only cool thing to do. /MTVamirite



edit: stfu and fap^




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

I just finished fapping actually... good times, good times.



Quoted post: Xenos' rep and post count are the same, 'cept the 1 and 9 are swapped.


**** you



Posted by Zeta

XENOS IS IMPOTENT.

E: what did i do vamp? :(




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

It's more of a general **** you as in "**** you, I just made your post lose all meaning."

Which is more of a specific **** you than a general one I guess...




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

idk :(




Posted by Stalolin

k, fap tyme.




Posted by Linko_16

I hit one off in between every post.

Mr. Nintendo's posts.




Posted by InYourAtmosphere

Little anecdote - Once I stayed home from school. A private, deeply religious Christian school. Guess what I did during my day off.
Not like, all day. Just sayin'




Posted by Klarth

Usually once a day, occasionally twice. Occasionally not at all.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire


Quoted post: I hit one off in between every post.


I lol'd so hard at this. Maybe because it only came from Linko, but either way... lol.



Quoted post: Not like, all day. Just sayin'


Shoulda been all day. By the tenth time it becomes quite a chore. Which, in the context of fapping, is pretty odd .



Posted by Ant

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I just now got that joke that Linko made.

In which case, ****.




Posted by Dreadnought

Daily. Usually once or twice.




Posted by Lord of Spam

esus christ, i didnt expect real answers you sick ****s. I was waiting for "lol fapping right now" or "lol all the time".

I have to burn my eyes now.:(




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire


Quoted post: I was waiting for "lol fapping right now" or "lol all the time".


Those were said, more or less.



Posted by Klarth

I deleted all my loli yesterday, so I'm reduced to fapping to Vamp's Haruhi avatar and crying. The tears make the orgasm all the more worthwhile!




Posted by InYourAtmosphere


Quoting Vampiro:
Shoulda been all day. By the tenth time it becomes quite a chore. Which, in the context of fapping, is pretty odd .


What, you mean like, continuously? That'd be pretty fuking hard. You'd either have to have no imagination or an actual love life to keep that one going. Or be Sting.



Posted by Klarth

I kept it up for three and a half hours once. I fell asleep pretty fast afterwards.




Posted by The Judge

Someone needs to bar graph who beats off the most.




Posted by InYourAtmosphere

I admire your tenacity, Klarth. Maybe I should pity you for such a feat, though. In any case, I'd fall asleep long before that. Night time is the right time.




Posted by Slade

I remember one time I was home with the flu and was(supposedly) fapping, but could only remember waking up with my hand in my pants and my web browser open to Vamp's public profile.




Posted by Arcadios

PENIS PENIS PENIS ^_^




Posted by Corrupt

I fap whenever I feel like it, which is usually 1-3 times every couple days.




Posted by The Judge


Quoting Klarth: I kept it up for three and a half hours once. I fell asleep pretty fast afterwards.

My hand would hurt like crazy and I would be extremely bored.



Posted by mis0


Quoting Linko_16: I hit one off in between every post.

Mr. Nintendo's posts.


Win, lock thread.

This thread only had two posts yesterday, so, geez. You guys really enjoy pleasuring yourself. I guess. I'll go with the SapphireRose answer and say very seldomly. It's a lie to say never, but every day? C'mon now. :/



Posted by The Judge

I'm a lonely, lusty man with lonely, lusty needs.




Posted by sniper

SECONDED




Posted by Lord of Spam


Quoting Klarth: I kept it up for three and a half hours once. I fell asleep pretty fast afterwards.



someone else kepy mine up for like 5 hours over the course of about 8 hours once. Good times.



Posted by Klarth

I hate you




Posted by Pit

Hurrah for sex. I'm a horny ****, so like, after I have sex, I have sex again, and then a third time. Then when my girlfriend goes home a few hours i get horny again, so I gotta squeeze it out




Posted by Klarth

You're lying.




Posted by Lord of Spam

Protip: act like an *******. Stupid horny women love it.




Posted by Arcadios


Quoting Klarth: PENIS PENIS PENIS ^_^


???



Posted by Klarth

I didn't say that, fool.

I'm fapping right now. Not kidding. No matter how often I announce it, Dread is unfazed.




Posted by Lord of Spam

as long as no balls are touching its all good




Posted by The Judge


Quoting Klarth: I didn't say that, fool.

I'm fapping right now. Not kidding. No matter how often I announce it, Dread is unfazed.

If me and my friends saw each other's dicks as often as you two do, I'd imagine we wouldn't be phased either. :cookie:



Posted by Lord of Spam

im not wearing pants right now


make of tha twhat you will




Posted by Ant

I'm not either! LET'S GO JOIN THE NON-PANTS CLUB!




Posted by Lord of Spam

too late, put pants on after i took a dump




Posted by Klarth

Hey, do you want to go to the pants party?




Posted by Xenos

shorts




Posted by Zeta

Zero Suit




Posted by Lord of Spam

jeans for everlasting win




Posted by The Judge

I haven't worn shorts in years. Jeans4lyfe.




Posted by Lord of Spam

At this point, i have nothing against shorts, but have more pressing things to spend my money on.:(




Posted by Ant

I recently lost a pair of shorts. I wasn't too happy about it. Grim even.




Posted by Lord of Spam

you're too (a)pathetic to be grim




Posted by Poison

I do it like once a week, but one long fap. I start masturbating and then I have to stop because I get bored with the porn I




Posted by Boner


Quoting Slade: I don't blame you. It'd be hard for me to fap with paws, too.



Oh, it's possible though.
[URL="http://www.bofunk.com/video/299/cat_masturbation.html"]LINK[/URL]
[URL="http://www.collegehumor.com/movies/1675517/"]LINK2[/URL]



Posted by Ant

do not want




Posted by Slade


Quoting Opeth: Oh, it's possible though.

I didn't need to know that. :(




Would've been hilarious if the dog just jizzed all over the camera though.



Posted by Linko_16


Quoting Misoxeny: Win, lock thread.


I was starting to think no one had gotten it. :/



Posted by Pit


Quoting Klarth: You're lying.



No, seriously I'm not. I mean, I don't have sex every day as I see my girlfriend maybe 4 days - 5 days a week, but I fap a lot. And when I try not to fap, i get horny and fap anyways.



Posted by Vampiro V. Empire


Quoted post: My hand would hurt like crazy and I would be extremely bored.


Learn to you use both. That's what I did, problem solved.



Quoted post: Hey, do you want to go to the pants party?


Do you mean the party in your pants?



Quoted post: you're too (a)pathetic to be grim


I've recently discovered how terrifyingly grim Ant is. Oh, and apatheticness plays a big part in the Art of Grim.



Posted by InYourAtmosphere

Ambidexterity for penile pleasuring purposes. I don't which is more impressive; that, or my beautiful alliteration.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

It's more of a case of carrying over something I've been able to do since I was six to something that involves stroking my dick to porn. It's part of maturity. In that I took a skill I've always had and applied it to something more practical.




Posted by InYourAtmosphere

Definitely. Masturbation is so much more important than writing.




Posted by sniper

I AGREE 100%




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire


Quoted post: Definitely. Masturbation is so much more important than writing.


Indeed. I mean, since I've been out of school, I've written maybe a total of two proper paragraphs. And that's over the course of about 2-3 years. Who needs writing anymore?



Posted by InYourAtmosphere

Hemmingway's "couldn't get any, so I had to do it myself" years produced some of the best works of literature that exist today. Few know this, but he actually blew his brains out because of arthritis. Not because it stopped him from writing, but because it stopped him from WANKING.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

At this point, I'm just hoping you picked up on the fact that I was completely unserious.




Posted by InYourAtmosphere

Do you really think I'd even continue to post if I thought you were serious? That'd just be fuking pathetic.




Posted by sniper

I'm speechless.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire


Quoted post: Do you really think I'd even continue to post if I thought you were serious? That'd just be fuking pathetic.


Yes, actually. It helps knowing next to nothing about you.



Posted by Dreadnought

How did you get here, anyway?




Posted by Klarth

[quote=Vampiro]
Do you mean the party in your pants?
...DO YOU WANT TO GO TO THE PANTS PARTY




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

I WOULD LIKE TO EXTEND TO YOU AN INVITATION TO THE PANTS PARTY




Posted by The Judge


Quoting Vampiro: I've recently discovered how terrifyingly grim Ant is. Oh, and apatheticness plays a big part in the Art of Grim.

Grand as that may be via the internet, it makes him annoying at best in person.



Posted by Klarth


Quoting Vampiro: I WOULD LIKE TO EXTEND TO YOU AN INVITATION TO THE PANTS PARTY

BRICK ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY THAT THERE'S A PARTY IN YOUR PANTS AND I'M INVITED



Posted by Ant


Quoting The Judge: Grand as that may be via the internet, it makes him annoying at best in person.


Eh



Posted by mis0

You're an annoying peice of crap. Is that so hard to understand, you loli-****ing-freak?




Posted by Ant

Idk, is it?




Posted by The Judge

And his humor has dulled so much that even if he realized I was joking when I said that, he couldn't bring himself to laugh.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire


Quoted post: Grand as that may be via the internet, it makes him annoying at best in person.


Luckily I don't have to experience that so my perception of his grim isn't ruined by this... this... "real life"... whatever that is.




Quoted post:
BRICK ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY THAT THERE'S A PARTY IN YOUR PANTS AND I'M INVITED


I honestly didn't think we'd ever make it to this point. Fukken finally.



Posted by Stalolin

[quote=Ant]Eh

just punch him.

he only pretends to have the powers of darkness and death.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

Spoilers: Tomorrow a thread will be made describing the death of Ant as "horrific".




Posted by Poison

Spoilers for tonight: My pants.




Posted by Lord of Spam

i just looked at stalolins sig, and i caught it at the begining. I immediately thougth that it was a fap gif. Then, when it wasnt, I lol'd. Then, I realized that probably only /b/tards would get it, and fap'd at the hilarity.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

Yeah, I expected a cumshot. Then lol'd the genius of it.




Posted by Ant


Quoting Lord of Spam: i just looked at stalolins sig, and i caught it at the begining. I immediately thougth that it was a fap gif. Then, when it wasnt, I lol'd. Then, I realized that probably only /b/tards would get it, and fap'd at the hilarity.


I did too. And I was like "omg he isn't getting banned or anything" then it moved away and hit and I lol'd and yeah i thought it was super cool



Posted by mis0

Yeah, I've seen the "others" on /gif/. What I don't get is why they're popular. :/

But, bol'd and win'd, 'Lolin.




Posted by Linko_16


Quoting Ant: I did too. And I was like "omg he isn't getting banned or anything" then it moved away and hit and I lol'd and yeah i thought it was super cool


Same here. Personally, those gifs gross me out in the first place, so when I saw it, I was like "wtf was he thinking? Now I have to go get rid of it."

Then I remembered I was in the DA clique and I have to give you guys all my favoritism.




Posted by Ant

-kissie face-




Posted by Klarth

I should make a gif of me fapping to a gif of me fapping to etc




Posted by Lord of Spam

I managed to link someone to ****ting dick nipples last night. i bol'd pretty hard


Quoting Klarth: I should make a gif of me fapping to a gif of me fapping to etc



trippy AND gay. hardcore



Posted by Ant

fap paradox




Posted by Stalolin

additional discussion peices.

WHAT DO YOU DO WITH YOUR OTHER HAND WHILE EXECUTING THE PROCEDURE?

AND

Do you clean up after or during orgasm?

my right hand does nothing. And I clean afterwards.




Posted by InYourAtmosphere

what the hell would you clean up for?

oh wait. guys make a mess.




Posted by Ant

UR A GURL? HOLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY SH[COLOR="Lime"]I[/COLOR]T!




Posted by InYourAtmosphere

YESSA.

I don't have anything witty to say right now. Tired. Vampiro can mod-ify this with something more interesting.

NO HE CAN'T




Posted by Ant

All vampiro understands is how to be a fagpiro.




Posted by InYourAtmosphere

No, vampiro knows how to love in ways you never could. His life is the basis for an inspirational movie starring Richard Gere entitled "To Dream At Last."
Yup. That's a fact.




Posted by Ant

I'd rather not look it up.




Posted by Klarth

[quote=Stalolin]
WHAT DO YOU DO WITH YOUR OTHER HAND WHILE EXECUTING THE PROCEDURE?

AND

Do you clean up after or during orgasm?
[spoiler]I hold my balls[/spoiler] with my right hand [spoiler]to keep them from smacking me in the ***.[/spoiler] You probably don't want to unspoiler that.

And I don't clean up ;o




Posted by The Judge

Gross




Posted by Klarth

I fap with my left hand mainly. The joints in my right are turning arthritic, I think :(




Posted by sniper

lol old man klarth




Posted by Klarth

I've done more fapping in four years than most old men do in their lives. :cool2:




Posted by InYourAtmosphere

You are very lonely. Here, I got you this:




Posted by Klarth

Aww, thanks. I hope she has a dick!




Posted by InYourAtmosphere

She does.

....and she doesn't clean up afterwards, either. Might wanna shower after that encounter. And burn your sheets.




Posted by Klarth

My sheets used to be black. Now they're a glossy shade of laminated grey.

Make of that what you will.




Posted by InYourAtmosphere

gawd, how can you stand to sleep in that? *** forbid, if a girl ever slept in those sheets she'd wake up with a fertilized ovum.




Posted by Klarth

rofl

I never do it in bed. Not only would that be incredibly icky, but I share a room with three other guys, so it wouldn't exactly be condusive to their comfort.




Posted by InYourAtmosphere

So what, you drag your sheets into the bathroom?
And from what I hear, your roommates are plenty familiar with your manhood as it is.




Posted by The Judge

What do I do with my other hand? Well, I close my eyes really tight and lightly put my pointer finger in my mouth and chew on that nail.

...

No, I don't do anything with it.

As for cleanup, I ejaculate dust, so I just take a rag to my cabinets every few months.




Posted by Klarth


Quoting InYourAtmosphere: So what, you drag your sheets into the bathroom?
And from what I hear, your roommates are plenty familiar with your manhood as it is.

...This is the point at which I ask who you've been talking to!



Posted by InYourAtmosphere

As if I needed to talk to anyone? Come on, it's all over the thread. Anytime you mention your own penis someone pops up to talk about how overexposed you are. Fukin shameful, man.




Posted by The Judge

Jared.




Posted by Klarth

Everyone wants my cock. Fact. Look it up.

However, at least I'm capable of avoiding genital tragedy.

Unlike Dread.




Posted by Lord of Spam

I, personally, do not want your cock, and thats a fact you can take to the bank.

The money bank. Of doom.




Posted by Slade

So I've been meaning to post it here for a bit, but I used to get songs from church stuck in my head whilst fapping. NO REASONABLE EXPLANATION