I guess, in a way, this is like a mini-live journal thread--either way, I as I asked in this thread, how is life right now? Good, bad?
Well, for me I'm just pretty ****ing busy as of late. Thanks to exams and the up-coming finals. I guess I won't be posting much for this week and the last week of May.
:chainsaw:
My life is currently in Limbo. It's dull and drab as usual, but has the potential to soon become fantastic, and the equal potential to become wretched. I dislike these times.
My life is...interesting right now.
For starters, school is a mess, but it's also not. I had pretty low grades (For my standards) most of this semester, but most of them have pulled up to at least Bs. If I play my cards right, I should only have one, maybe two C's.
In terms of friends, things are good. We got yearbooks yesterday at school. Although I didn't get one, I've already gotten tons of signings and phone numbers and such. Something that's on my mind right now is the stress I've been going through. I don't know what's causing it, nor really what I'm stressed about. I went on a few walks yesterday and pondered, and decided to let a few of my secrets go. It's been bugging me too much. One of these was actually me telling a girl that I like her, one that I've been friends with for a while. OMG DRAMA.
And finally, things have been pretty good at home. I've taken an interest in Legos once again, and am now collecting Bionicles. I have phases. =| Summer is nearing, and I have great plans.
Overall, I can say I'm pretty happy with my life. :)
I have been out of my mind for the last few weeks.
Its been pretty rad.:cool:
Life is one big soap opera, but I don't write the script I just direct. ;)
But my life has been wrought with drama recently. Lunch table drama, friend drama, and bug drama.
We'll start with lunch table. There has been a ban on cussing in school. you cuss, you write a 250 word essay. I don't have a problem with that seeing as I don't cuss. But at our lunch table, the t.v. beep would have trouble keeping up. Ours is the loudest, roudiest table. My friend Joli, and my other friend Jessica got called to the office because they are veiwed as the 'leaders of the table.' Joli got ****ed, so she said the next person to cuss gets kicked off the table. Yeah, lunch room drama.
Friend drama: My friend David is being stupid and has dropped my friend Kyla like a bag of rocks. Needless to say Kyla was crushed, she really likes David. He was very suicidal last year, and Kyla was helping him. Well this year he still acted like he did last year, so she figured he still needed help. Apparently he didn't and her trying to help him annoyed him. Well Kyla and I discussed this often, and one of David's 'sources' infromed him that I was talking about him. This was a load of crap, and I decided to leave him alone for a while while I tried to think of who his 'sources' could be. Turned out it was Beth who is in my Health class, but that's just a theory. He forgave me so we're cool again.
As for Bug drama: Oh the fun we have in science class. :D
Finally the pressure has let off, and I only have three days of school left. One measly test, and a few hours of gambling (blackjax0r) are all that stand between me and that certificate now.
I'm broke. Advanced broke. I oughtn't to cut into my savings, so I'm trying to scrape some money together to become un-broke. Currently: failing. Massively.
Regardless, I'm not in a terrible mood. Things aren't that bad, and I have plenty to be grateful for. So, that's about it.
Life is awesome.
Can't complain. Except for maybe about my video card not allowing me to play games for more than five minutes because it's broken.
donate to stalolin plz
will pay you in rep eqivalent (or more if you donate less than $15) to amount donated
I have three drama problems not just one. Read the whole thing. The biggest drama was the stuff with David and Kyla.
OH, right, so sorry. You idiot highschool friends must be crushed that ZOMG THEY'RE NO LONGER DATING. Let the emo chick kill herself, and then all the problems will clear up.:cool:
I'm in debt for thousands of dollars.
I win.:cool:
Someone donate me a girlfriend.
If I had a girl to spare, do you think I would send her your way?
Hell no, man.:(
GIRLZ R 4 EMO.
Either way, I was a tad cut off the last time since I had to leave. To continue!--I'd like to say everything is going okay. It's not another sad story or anything. I'm just a tad nervous and tired out lately. TG the semester is almost over.
Actually my mother is going to be buying my new video card because I'm actually trying to go out and get my driver's license or something like that.
So-so. Socially it's fine, though personally I'm bored to tears. I need a new change of scenery and a different cast of people around me. Which, hopefully I'll get when I move. Also, work is a drag. I'm not getting paid enough, and my manager is probably leaving. So, chances are I'm also going to quit soon. Whether I find a new job, or just go back for my third year of University, I'm not sure. It all depends on if my family is selling our current house and moving out West.
Hah hah... I'm in a linear-hell.
Get up -> preemptive chore -> out of the house activities -> Job searching.
That's what it's like right now. I got out of college for the summer and it doesn't start up untill September 8.
I'm in a middle state of complacency. Although I do not have a job and funds are running dry I think I'll have a job soon. The Educational side of my life is okay, as well. Decent grades, which is good enough for me. And on a social level I would say things are looking up. And with summer almost here things are bound to get better.
... Kind of depressing. I sort of wish something would happen.
I just got home from 8 hours of work, and in five hours I go back in for five more. I watched Donnie Darko for the second time last night, and it's one of the greatest films I have ever had the pleasure of beholding. I also just got done watching every James Bond film between Dr. No and The World is Not Enough. That's a fabulous Garbage song, by the way. I've been listening to a lot of dark electronica as of late, and am going to celebrate my graduation with wolves and dragons. It's been raining like hell everywhere, and it isn't even March anymore. It was fun driving through the resorts which normally host boring golfing weather, and watching rich old farts scramble for 'safety' from the pelting rain. *oscar*
Oh, rly? We'll see. I'm not sure about the exact details of anything yet... but I could always drive out there on a 3 day weekend if I couldn't make it this go around.
Lifes not too bad. A little boring at times but overall i'm not complaining.
Life is sweet and life is grand. I have nothing to complain about. The sky is blue, I think the sea might still be green and my favorite show is on.
The sea in Jersey is quite green.
Life is amazing and wonderful. There's a few bumps, but I wouldn't take them out. <3
drugs, sex, guitar, work, life rules
I'm enjoying it.
http://vgchat.com/showthread.php?goto=newpost&t=13484
ow
My life is going by very, very quickly. However, there is so much time that needs to go by, I still notice it. I feel like I'm in a racecar, racing towards a brick wall, and I'm now on the last, long straightaway...
...yeah, that was a wierd metaphor, but it's true.
[quote=Velvet Nightmare][URL="http://vgchat.com/showthread.php?goto=newpost&t=13484"]http://vgchat.com/showthread.php?goto=newpost&t=13484[/URL]
ow
Sorry, we can't hear about your LIFE if you're already dead...
My life is still going fairly well. New video card should be here tomorrow meaning I'll be back playing games soon.
Though I've got this fierce headache and it's making me slightly angrier and a bit not myself.
Well, life has been interesting. I've learned a lot about my friend, but I don't really know what to do. Her home life is very bad, and I think she's going into depression. I wish there was something I could do, but I don't think she wants to tell me, in fear of another person being mad or disappointed in her, or whatnot. >_>
Gradeswise, looking up. I've been getting all my homework in, and with luck, I'll have one C. Maybe all As and Bs. Heh.
Life for me is full of luck. My PSP got confiscated yesterday, though, and I have a few narrow work deadlines ahead... Gonna really have to pull some strings.
I've felt somewhat melancholy today. I woke up, and I realised that many of the people I've known for most of my life, I'll never see again after next week. Public education is over forever, and all that awaits is the graduation ceremony. Then everyone slowly goes their own way. It's hard not to be a bit solemn when confronted with the thought. On the other hand, it's a fresh, new beginning in my life, and I'm happy about that. I guess the drastic changes that are going to happen just make me mildly apprehensive.
Hrm.
Life is actually freaking amazing right now. I haven't been on here much because it's been amazing. I'm doing great in school, new, easy, & well paid job, whops, and partying.
Three hour graduation programme tomorrow morning. I'm getting drunk as wolvenly possible this evening. Hopefully I'll be able to get up at 7 in the morning, though it wouldn't break my heart to sleep through the entire ceremony.
Pretty decent. 2 1/2 weeks of school left, then I'm out until about the end of August. A big test on Tuesday, and I left my freaking notes at school, so I'll have to cram on Monday, but... eh. Whoever gets the highest score gets a huge *** trophy, but I doubt I would've won it anyway. Just looking forward to the end of the school year, my sixteenth birthday, and a summer job so I'm not always broke. :mad:
I plan to have an Xbox 360 and some money put away for a Wii by the end of the summer, and I promised my dad I'd buy him a new TV, so I'll have to save for that, as well. I won't have to worry about any car or insurance payments, since I won't get my license until September at the soonest. Because of that, I can get some swag (posters, clothes, etc.) this summer and maybe get something to occupy myself in my incredibly boring and unpersonalized room. :(
Ugh, I have the flu or a heat stroke and it felt awful. It's stating to fade away now, but yesterday was absolutely miserable. A constant migraine + fever + sorethroat + bad stomach +clogged nose doesn't feel so cool.
School is almost over, just a little while left to go. But when you think about school ending and how happy you'll be, you start to think of the exams looming close ahead. Last semester they were nothing to get stressed over and this semester won't be different I'm sure, but still you get a little nervous. Last semester the A I got on my computer application exam it pulled my whole grade up to a B when it was bordering on failing. Wonder what bombing the exam would have done...
But sadness comes with the end of the school year. One of my friends is a senior, and is leaving. :( I'm only a freshman so I won't see her again. That sucks. She was awesome. I'm gonna miss her.
But other than that everything is great!
Pretty damnedly spiffy, I missed the last eight assignments (all four weekly assignments for the last fortnight), but I got the stats coursework done and handed in nine days ago, about thirty seconds after the deadline - which I'm sure they won't notice - I've got Algebra and Maple coursework due some time tomorrow that I'm currently avoiding, but it'll get done... as long as I don't spend hours getting pissed off at Maple for being such a bitch about syntax (seriously, there are two different modules that process linear algebra, linalg and LinearAlgebra, the one that's generating all my matrices is generating Matrices and the one that's processing them demands that I use matrices, notice the difference? It's a capital M at the beginning, so now my code is litered with code to convert between Matrices and matrices, it's not fun >_<).
W00tsicles: Moving out of halls and in to a house that's about 100 yards closer to campus in a month and a half, I hope none of my housemates mind people being awake at stupid hours of the morning >_< Going to be fun though ^_^ No idea how I'm going to move though, my room's a tip (I can find everything I need thouogh, so I don't tidy it ^_^)... On another domestic note, I keep running out of apple pies and bread, but I've somehow aquired something like four huge boxes of cereal and about ten litres of apple and blackcurrant juice >_<
A tip to anyone starting university soon (especially if you consider yourself shy) - get yourself a hat, not one of those things that's essentially a sock for your head, a real hat, one with a brim and a band around the top, funky fun bouncy people are drawn to hats, quite possibly the quickest way to get together a group of people who like anime and computer games and eat obscene quantities of tasty treats (and are therefore always on a sugar high because of it) is to stand outside the student union wearing a fedora glomping anyone who compliments your funky hat, you'll thank me later ^_^
We had AGMs in Juggling soc, CG-SOC and anime soc last week, most of the Juggling and CG-SOC commity members from this year are leaving at the end of the year (Boo :() but life goes on... Aparently tomorrow is another fire night at juggling (hopefully the pictures won't disappear in to the ether like they have a habit of doing), which is always great fun, but I swear I'm going to set my bandana (long hair + fire = short hair, long hair + bandana + fire = safer) on fire one day >_<
I went to a club on Wednesday with a few friends (The Dungeon, in case you were wondering). They do that thing that most clubs do, letting people in a few at a time when other people leave so it doesn't fill up; I got kept behind for a minute or so after they went in, so, I paid to get in, walked in, saw none of the people I knew, walked down some stairs and a crazy stoner lady grabbed my arm and latched on to me for twenty minutes ;_; She was walking around, accosting people she knew as she went, jibbering about transparent stairs, then she sat down - after going down said transparent stairs - and jibbered some more for a while - and of course none of the people who knew her did anything to help, not even her husband, who had helped her down the stairs, still latched to my arm, then turned round and ignored her again >_< So, that was fun :S Oh well, the rest of the evening was enjoyable, which is ok :)
Oh man, long post >_< Read faster and it isn't so long, lol ^_^
Hows life? Same old...Tomorrow comes today basically...Job, school, exams, parents giving me ****...
The only happy things in my life right now are Vgchat and the good weather outside.
Well, I feel like a good citizen today.
I finally sent my friend a PM expressing my concern for her, because she's not having a good home life right now. She sent me a really long message, telling me all the problems and what not. She thanked me for being a friend, and we're gonna talk about it tonight.
And continuing my homework tangeant, I have 4 days to raise up 2 Cs on a report card. Not good. More on this as it develops!
Life's all good, getting better.
Years pass by tho. :(
My life's fantastic. I have a vacation coming up in one month and I am really excited about that. I don't think I have taken an out of state vacation since Christmas, so I am definitely due for one. I'm only going to New York, so it's not like it's out of the country, but I'm meeting some friends there, so it'll be terrific!
I've been really happy lately. Laughing often and spending time with my friends. I learned some country dancing moves over the weekend at the coast, which was enjoyable.
School and work are normal. I'm really starting to care less about my academic success though. Not that I consider that a bad thing. I'm honestly glad that I am not overly devoted to gaining a highly respectable education. I'm not in a hurry. I'm really content with how far I've already come.
Life has been extremely busy, as of late. Working overtime, taking a few years off of school to save money, train in something else, and hopefully figure out what I really want to be (ornithologist, but the income prospects aren't great). Busy with other things, as well, which is why I haven't been around for two weeks.
Its raining outside...I hate rain. I wanted to go bike at the sk8park, but I guess I'll have to pass :(
Life is awesome! summer is around the corner so I'm happy!
[URL="http://www.myspace.com/space_in_space"]http://www.myspace.com/space_in_space[/URL]
life is doin' me mighty fine right about now.
Life is well for the most part. Starting to get a fever which sucks :-\
Summer vacation starts next Wednesday for me. :D
I'll be working at Gamestop. Going to be saving up money for a European trip. I'm hoping to go through Britain, France, Switzerland and Italy. Maybe Greece if we plan on doing an alternate route. Other than that I'm playing in the South Central Golf league for most of the summer.
What's your problem? I just said that since school is near to ending, there shouldn't be much rain. It sort of spoils the begininning of the end you know? I mean it's just rain, no musical thunder, or beautiful lightning. If there were a thunderstorm, I would be happier. As it happens, there is not.
His posts express much acceptability and happiness with life. He likes that there is no climate control. He likes the unpredictability that the weather brings. It makes the world feel much less robotic. Rain is wonderful. Way better than sunshine.
Its freaking 4 in the morning. I couldn't sleep so I logged in here. I worked all day yesterday and my freaking boss decided to add hours to my schedule so I had to kill him.
On an unrelated note, it was raining here tonight and it's quite warm outside. I'm quite a fan of summer rain. Big drops, the smell in the air. Just a nice feeling.
Lordi won Eurovision. Life is grand.
I'm off to work, life is long.
I'm off to work in teh morning, and I'd say that's just great. :D
Annoying.......... AH!
Curtains!
The week needs many, many more saturdays. Now it's sunday and I know there's a week left until next saturday. :/
Oh, and time.
Time's quite annoying, indeed.
Long weekend, fireworks and no work, can't complain.
Weekends certainly do disappear fast, but I suppose that's part of what makes them so great as of recently. During the week, I tend to pile up goals on my weekends, which tends to make them the most active days of the week, even if they are incredibly relaxed and fun. It just seems as though more happens on the weekends than on the rest of the week.
I'm extremely happy. School is ending in four and a half days. I can't wait to sleep in durring the week, play video games nonstop, and all the other weekend activities that we wished could be longer, but aren't until summer. Besides summer is my birthday.
Week-ends with rain are waste. I'm an outgoing person. I need sunny days or I rot in the basement where my room is.
Depressed and dont know why. No real reason. Kinda want to go to a party, but my complete lack of friends that arent total losers is limiting that at the moment.
I'm depressed too, sorta. My best friend at work left today. Only newbs remain (in my domain of the grocery store) I was freaking bored.
I'm on study leave until friday! ^_^
I graduate today. It's the end of my government education, and my childhood. Wish me patience, with nigh on 1000 grads, I'll be up there for awhile. :)
The good news is that my two best friends are staying here, and one is going to go to the community college and transfer to UNM (where my other friend is going staright-out) so we'll still be together. We all know we won't see each other as much, but we just want to keep in touch, and maybe go do something fun every once in a while. So, I do feel I'll miss being a high schooler, and a minor to a degree, but the things and people that matter most to me aren't changing so I'm happy overall.
I get to go to MO for the summer. I need to get my friend's addresses. I'm gonna miss 'em all, but I'll still have a good time. I'm a little worried about exams, but I already know it's nothing to get stressed over. I can't wait for school to end in three and a half days.
Despite the fact that I'll be in MO, I'll still be able to post here. My grandma has internet. Lucky you. ^_~
I'm so glad that I got one big fat final out of the way - now I have about six or seven more to attack, but they're humanities, for the most part.
I have to take my exams the last three days of school. It's good yet bad. I mean it's cool that we get a while to study and stuff. But then you kinda wanna relax on the last day. No such luck for me. *Sighs* Oh well.
I've got to take a three or four hour final tomorrow. I'm not even enormously worried about it, I just hate taking such a long test. I'd sooner sit around and do nothing for such a time.
Graduated! It's a very strange feeling, having one of the biggest constants in my life gone. My friends are all happy, as am I. Everyone took it in stride, and college prospects are looking up. I regester for classes here soon, and I guess it will really mean the concrete end to many things. I just don't feel the way I thought I would, which is why I'm weirded out. I'm happier than I thought I'd be. I guess it's because my group of friends is staying together.
Best wishes to any other '06 grads out there.
[COLOR="Black"]Congratulations Miso and thanks, here were I live we make 9th to 10th grade graduations, im in 9th and my graduation "ceremony" is tomorow.
Anyways, my life is the same as always, nothing new and boringness at 100%.[/COLOR]
I'm working on a masterpiece, I hope to finish it as soon as possible. :( It's been tiring since my fingers are getting blistered, it's for a good friend. I'm leaving on Friday to Porn City [LV] as well for a few days.
Quiting my job tomorrow and heading off to an AFI concert. In short: fukken awesome.
I FINALLY got the drug test scheduled for my new job. I've been like Mike Tyson waiting to jump into the ring for the last month or so - it's taken forever to get the background checks done!
I am, of course, single now. My cell phone bill got destroyed by the relationship, and my dreams almost got put on hold, too, but now I am back, a lot smarter, and stopping at nothing to achieve my dreams :cool:
Not too great right now, actually.
I have been depresssed, alot, because my cousin and my sister are fighting, and my cat is dying. My mother's been a ***** lately, but she has a right to be, because she' having back surgery and has to quit smoking, and my little sister has been having more PTSD fitts lately. Other than that, its been okay, I guess.
Great, My personal life is doing great I was asked 4 times by the same girl and turned her down
and me reaching 2,000 post seems to be the millenium in VGC.
Lol, of people are so awed over your 2000 posts, why don't they just spam...?
Hey, I heard that is now a federal offense in America. Does anyone know if thats true?????
Pretty good, all things considered but at the same time not so much. I'm finishing off my 3rd highschool year and that has me kinda bummed. This year went by so quickly, honestly, the fastest of my life and I can't help but think my life will soon become one big blur. I'm under alot of pressure to find a job and get a driver's license but I just don't want to grow up so fast you know? Mostly I'm just bothered by typical teenaged stuff. I've got friends, and a good family life so that makes up for most of the bad. Summer vacation is nearly here and thats always nice.
I am CRAMMED this week with three exams - life sucks as usual. Well, its been pretty chaotic lately mainly because of these ****ed up schedules, but after this week I will be on a posting rampage.
Life's been stressful this year, with me experiencing a lot of new things, constants in my life being shattered, things with friends, and countless other things, but things are finally starting to clear up. I want this summer to be amazing, with much time spent in the city, many new friends to be made, and a billion new experiences to be had.
Time to live it up to the fullest this summer.
Life's been alright. I've got a decent job and a highspeed (albeit buggy) connection. Also, I'm exercising my frustration through becoming adept with Cinema 4D.
On my side its ok. I'm tired. Going to see mission impossible 3 tonight. Hope its good.
These days, aside from work, I've been chatting and listening to music. Nothing exciting really.
Thngs have been kinda crazy for me in the last few weeks. I still need to figure out my college schedule, attend an orientation class, etc this month. I've officially put in my leave at my job, and I will be doing the unemployment thing in mid-August. I haven't talked to or have seen my best friend for almost two weeks, and I'm starting to get worried about that. Meh, so, I've got seven more weeks of summer and then back to the edumahcatshuning. And christ, this time I'll have to drive 25ish miles on the interstate and back every day just for that. :(
Out of curiousity, did something bad happened to them that would make you worry?
Still got school until Friday. =(
After that, I'll probably try and find something to do this Summer, maybe get a job better than my old one, or something, I don't know, to be honest.
I need to do something, because I feel as if I've been wasting my life. =(
Life is both fantastic and horrible. One of them is romance related, one of them is job related. See if you can guess which is which.
****ers. Preventing you from having fun :mad:
http://www.bebingtonhigh.com/index.html
This is my school website, (No pics of me on it, yet. =P)
The man on the right of the home page is a greedy bastard who overcharges for everything. There's probably some pictures of the stupid place somewhere on the site. It's supposed to be a 'Sports college' except we only have PE once a week, and only ever play football, (Soccer to the Americans) wtf?
I have to go to this place every day. =(
Your font irritates me. [/offtopic]
Anyways, I've been prepping for this test I am going to take in half an hour for days. :( I hope I do well for it.
I took my final exams in Microbiology and Government I last week, and then I started the Summer II session with Government II and Sociology the next day. I'll have my Associates in August, when I'll transfer to another college to finish off the rest of my program at a University and get the rest of my RN ****. After which, I'm seriously considering doing the whole doctor thing.
Other than school, everything's going great. All my friends are off school and have jobs that don't work them the full 40 hours a week, so I get to see them a lot. Work is good, and I'm hardly doing anything now other than mopping and fixing skateboards. As for my band, it's going great. We have to redo a few riffs in our currently "complete" original because someone was a dick and stole them from another song (needless to say he won't be touching a guitar ever again). That is all. I've been busy, but I'm enjoying myself.
I have been coming to summer school to learn nothing. I am taking some stupid computer class that is required to graduate. all I do for four hours is surf the internet. The class is not so bad but it is useless.in two weeks I will be starting summer band which consists of 200 people Marching,running laps,and doing pushups in 98 degree heat at 60 percent humidity. I usually lose 20 pounds over the course of a few weeks because of it.
[COLOR="Black"]Well, about my life. It seems it going nowhere, bad luck and bad luck and more bad luck.
An Example of that bad luck is:
I was going to date a girl then a week later she tells me shes happy because she has a boyfriend.
I just wish for this summer to end...
... maybe when I start school again I'll see some new hawt girls. Ohoho *** yes.[/COLOR]
well my life is going well. i got a new job and a new girl who loves and cares for me. i'm no longer in some addiction that left me in complete depression and frustration for the last 6 years. and my band is doing well.
You got a band? Cool! What instrument are you playing?
drums \m/
sweet. Have you done any school concerts yet?
one. the crowd loved us but we parted after that because of the drug addiction of the guitarist. but now we reformed and now practicing in my basement.
Hah, funny how just the other day my life was in limbo, and I knew it was going to shift out of limbo the next day(when I contacted someone), either for better or worse. It's odd to know someone so well that you know exactly what they'll do in most situations. Like, you already know what'll happen, and that they won't realize it until later, so you just play with it in your head until it finally happens, then you discuss with the person afterwards, and have a kind of closure.
Turns out... I don't know exactly what I'm doing. Well, I do, actually. It's more accurate to say that I don't have any future planned for certain things going on in my life. I've always been one to only go for things if they were good in the long run, and always do what is right for my future because "that's all that really matters." But lately, I've just decided to screw that whole "use foresight" thing. I wasn't having any fun at all. And I don't mean I just started partying hardcore or anything, but with my relationships, I'm just feeling that I will live in the moment, enjoy it. I'm heedlessly going for something that could destroy my relationship with my parents, all hush hush, but I have decided it's what I want to do. So I'm trying my hardest, and if it does end up screwing up everything, it won't phase me too bad. I've already decided that the best option is thinking, "Oh, well, these are my restrictions now, this is what is destroyed, I'll make the most out of what I have left and still have intensely enjoyable times in my life just like anyone else."
My relationship with my dad and step-mom, I don't know. My step-mom recently told me that she has been on anti-depressants for years(after suggesting that I take them), and that explained to me why she's always spacing, never really there like most other people. It also explained a couple of powerful(and kind of disturbing) emotional outbursts in the past. This ties in with my activities with a certain girl. After having this talk with my step-mom, I just decided, "No one is perfect." My dad shows intense disdain for people with emotional problems(friends and more-than-friends of mine), yet he is married to someone with depression. This girl... at times she's unstable, but the other times... she's perfect. I've decided to stick with her through the hard times and enjoy the love, harmony of the other times. Because no matter what, if I leave her for a long time, meet new people, date other people, it's just this massive gaping emptiness that eventually drives me crazy. It took 7 months, but by the end, a couple days before I talked to her again, I just couldn't stop my brain from showing me the love I had left, and how other people just aren't right.
This is something I'm wondering about, though. If you read no other part of this post, read this paragraph, because I want some input. I watch people, I spend so much time thinking of every little outcome, every little possibility. So I realize that me leaving a girl, then getting depressed and coming back is about as textbook as it gets. But.. it honestly doesn't feel that way. It could just be that I've just rationalized my crazy middleschool emo actions, but I really don't feel that way. I understand that if I can rationalize anything within my own mind there's nothing I can do to undo that. Are there times when actions like this just aren't as retarded as they seem? Maybe I was messing up before, trying to force the fun out of my life, and now I'm back to relish it all...
Hah, this post is basically my way of finding out what my plan is. Long as heck, sure. I feel a bit better though. I would appreciate input on that paragraph above, though.
Ugh, ***. I didn't understand the part you wanted people to read so I went back to read it all only to find out the other part made perfect sense and I was just misreading it.
Anyways, chances are if you think your actions are retarded, they are. If your girlfriend drives you away then maybe it's best you don't stay with her. No matter how much you want to go back, it might just be better to move on and find someone where every single moment you spend with them is special and amazing. It's really not worth it to stay with her. I mean, wives who get beaten often crawl back to their husbands practically begging for more. And that's what it sounds like in this case.
I get your point. What happened, though, was that I just told her I wasn't going to talk to her any more at one point. This was for a few reasons- the big one is that I was confused about what we were(friends, lovers, whatever), and also because I had this other girl always complaining about her who would never go near me if I was around her. At the time I wasn't interested in a relationship with Girl A(the one I've been talking about a lot), so I was like, "Okay, I'll give this whole new life thing a try." I hung out with different people(who remain my good friends now), and all this. Eventually things about Girl B surfaced like how she doesn't actually give any relationship her all, changes her mind just about every day, doesn't show hardly any affection(she's like the Judge's biting sarcasm on repeat), etc.
So over the course of about a month, I realized, "Whoah, this other girl(A) totally cared for me more than anyone has ever shown, and I really think that she's something special." So here I am now, accepting and returning all the feelings she's had for me for years. My decision to not worry about the future all the time is what totally freed me to do this.
There isn't any abuse, here I'll quickly explain how our relationship is:
She's involved with a ton of people in trying to help them, right? I know this is crappy idea, leads to stress, all that. So a lot of drama happens in her life. I'm the one who is completely not involved with any of it, but she tells me later so I know what's going on. Basically we never fight. The only times there's ever harshness is just when things are driving her nuts, I give her a day, she's like okay yeah sorry. I feel like this refuge, and it's pretty **** cool. Not so cool listening to all this drama, but, hey, maybe she'll see the light. BAM right there is a problem, I know. I can spot it, but I guess I don't care. When it's just me and her, its that whole perfect thing that leaves me unsatisfied with other relationships or other people.
Wait, I'm not really catching on about your problem.
Life right nows not so bad. I'm getting my own place in a few months with KoH which is kickass. Almost bought a Trans Am Today.. I really like that car but financially I probably shouldn't. '89 trans am that is.
Eh anywho works going alright.
School's over, now I can just sleep away my Summer, unless I do something, but that'd be against the laws of the internet. :)
Everything is going well for me.
I haven't had a problem and my work week was really slow but I still get paid none the less and I plan to buy my friend a DS Lite since he graduated from high school.
Everything is absolutely brilliant! I'm regular old sunshine self. Good to be back.