Do your parents confine your life to the extremes or do they give you plenty of freedom to do what you want? Are they controlling or overly protective or careless about what you do or simply trust that you'll do the right things?
I've been observing kids and their parents lately and have really started to get interested on the methods some of these parents use. I virtually always find myself taking the kids side, for many parents just don't seem to use logic in their arguments but instead revert to "because I said so." Definitely not a good approach to use when bringing up children. I think they'd often grow up with a short temper and an easier tendency to be annoyed by people, along with other negative characteristics. They need reasons... some logic and communication. And when I say kids, I also mean college students, for there are many who still live with their parents, respectively.
I really don't have much to say about my parents because they weren't around much while I was growing up. To comment on my caretakers, however, which would mostly consists of my older sisters, I would have to say that they all gave me freedom to do what I wanted. I'd go so far as to say that they gave me too much freedom. I could go stay wherever I wanted for as long as I wanted without telling anyone where I was going. I was never grounded for anything or brought down by severe limitations. Surprisingly, I was a smart kid and didn't get into trouble, nor did I ever lose the respect of my caretakers. I suppose I was an easy child to trust.
How about you guys?
[COLOR="Black"]They give me freedom. They do trust me and I know if If lose the respect that freedom will end.[/COLOR]
My parents (before I was 18) pretty much let me do what I wanted to. Now I can whatever without their interference, as long as I don't "blow up the house."
I've always had all the freedom I'd ever want. As long as my mom knew where I was and when I'd be home, I was allowed to do pretty much anything. She knows she can trust me, and I'm usually quite open with her, so she has no need to shelter me or limit my freedom. Though now that I'm older none of that really matters, since I'm mature enough to not be a complete idiot.
I've always wondered how that has effect me however. I turned out to be a pretty decent kid. I've never done drugs or even drank, I've never broken the law, and I even help pay the bills. But my outward appearance isn't quite "normal", not even considered "decent" in the eyes of society. Plus, my taste in music and movies has always leaned more towards the dark and gloomy side of things. I'd like to know if this was because of the amount of freedom I was given, or something completely unrelated, as it has always interested me. Ah well.
Alot of people have the tendency to misunderstand me.
I guess being Asian, folks seem to have a view that my parents are nazis, well, that might be true by their standards, but I think I am the biggest nazi of them all. Yep, I restrict myself the most. I don't know, I guess I've really taken the meaning of 'traditional' 'conservative' [not politically, per se] to the max. I don't really know where it all started, maybe because I was isolated from Western culture in certain aspects when I was younger since I remained in the house a lot of the time, and when I wasn't in the house, I was alone in the neighborhood wandering around.
Also, for those of you know me well, you can tell that I worship things like Ancient China ... the 1920s, it's just that feeling of diligence, "HONORABLE HERO" and that sort of thing that just hold me back from acting 'goofy' [in certain ways] at times.
It just seems to feel really uncanny for me when I do things like dance and all that goods--perhaps it's a feeling of seperation that I will always feel. :p
Well I'm a kid and my parents are so-so. I mean sometimes I can do what I want and play my games and stuff. I have always maintained A's and B's in school so thats not a problem. However my parents get mad at me at other things. Like playing too much games and being lazy my mom and dad will get so mad at me. I'm like mom I'm just playing a video game its not like I'm on drugs. She will threaten to call the school and get me into counseling about my attitude. She even asks me if I want to stay there with them or if i want to go to a fostor home. I've always been a quiet and shy kid and still am and my parents get mad at me for stupid things like playing video games and not taking out the trash. There are kids that I know in school that are on drugs and stuff and their parents don't care what they do. I do have a little bit of freedom to play as long as I don't "abuse" it. I love my parents but when I have a family and get married I certainly will do things differently.
Bah, m mom is cool , but my dad is compleat *******. Only time I am able to go over to my friend's house (which by the way is in the same neighbor hood, in biking ditance) is when he is out of town. His excuse" I don't wnat you going so far from the house". My other friends are in Wetumpka (30 minute drive) When he does give explantions, they are ****ty ones.
As long as my mom knows either where I'm going to be, or the cell number of someone that I'm going to be with, she's cool. In general, as long as I let her know if plans change (for instance, staying out for days at a time in summer) she generally doesnt care.
Pretty much the only thing that she asks is that if I'm going to get home late (past midnight, etc) that I either just crash somewhere else or be SUPER quiet when coming in. Then again, most of my family tends to wake up angry, so I dont blame her.
My parents used to restrict how much I played videogames when I was younger. I could only play on weekends because too much would make me brain-dead, apparantly.
Looking back for the most part I'm glad they did, because when we moved to a better area it meant we'd spend most of our time outside.
Before then I couldn't do anything, though, it was too dangerous to go outside so I'd spend my time rotting my brain in front of the TV. In my opinion watching TV is much much worse than playing videogames.
Now I spend way too much time on the computer and playing games, because most of my friends have gone to university or spend their time outside drinking. I should join a paintballing club or something.
My parents are bent on not letting me get a computer, and I am eternally angry at them because of it.
One example of a parental limitation I suppose is that anytime I got bad grades in school, I wouldn't be able to watch tv, play video games, go on the computer(not that I much until recently). I personally thought it was a load of bull****, but my Father was deadset in thinking that it was the electronics in my life that were making me do bad in school. Funny, because at the time it was probably the only thing keeping me sane. You tend to go a little crazy when all you do is sit around and do absolutly nothing... :D
I used to have a fair few arguments with my parents that ended in them saying 'because I said so'. Usually, though, it was because they'd been wrong at the start and I'd proved my point, but they didn't want to admit they were wrong. I do, however, realise that I have awesome parents. I can do pretty much whatever I want - it's the way that they've brought me up that makes me not actually want to do anything like destroy a building or go happy-slapping.
Now I live away from home, it doesn't hugely affect me, but the way that they've brought me up does. It's not like I feel like I have them constantly watching over my shoulder or anything, but I definitely know what's right and wrong, what to do and what not to, because of them.
I have a friend, though, who while as well-adjusted as the next guy, can't go anywhere without his mother's consent when he's back home, even though he's both 19 and in University, even if it's just going over the road for a pint up to travelling 20 mins on the bus to see me. It's her problem with letting him go, more than anything, but it gives him this weird reserved outlook on everything and more often than not when we ask him out on I night it's a shrug, a dejected look, then 'I'll have to check with my Mum'.
Apparently because I'm the one he goes to see most often and spends his nights drinking with, I'm a bad influence. Who'd have thought?
[quote=anty panty]Funny, because at the time it was probably the only thing keeping me sane. You tend to go a little crazy when all you do is sit around and do absolutly nothing...
how 'bout picking up a book and studying so you dont have bad grades anymore, jack@ss :oscar:
[quote=wings]it's the way that they've brought me up that makes me not actually want to do anything like destroy a building or go happy-slapping
same here. i think thats what real parenting is about. teaching your kids to recognize right from wrong for themselves, rather than doing or not doing things simply out of fear of being "grounded" or punished in some form. it's definitely more important to teach someone why something is the way it is so they can learn for themselves what the proper behavior should be, rather than simply memorizing that if I do such and such i'll be in trouble and won't be allowed to play pokemon.
anytime a parent hovers and tries to control their kids thoughts and actions (i'm talking college aged and up), it just proves they have no faith and confidence in their own parenting skills.
[quote=anty panty]Funny, because at the time it was probably the only thing keeping me sane. You tend to go a little crazy when all you do is sit around and do absolutly nothing...
how 'bout picking up a book and studying so you dont have bad grades anymore, jack@ss :kiss:
[quote=wings]it's the way that they've brought me up that makes me not actually want to do anything like destroy a building or go happy-slapping
same here. i think thats what real parenting is about. teaching your kids to recognize right from wrong for themselves, rather than doing or not doing things simply out of fear of being "grounded" or punished in some form. it's definitely more important to teach someone why something is the way it is so they can learn for themselves what the proper behavior should be, rather than simply memorizing that if I do such and such i'll be in trouble and won't be allowed to play pokemon.
anytime a parent hovers and tries to control their kid's thoughts and actions (i'm talking college aged and up), it just proves they have no faith and confidence in their own parenting skills.
My parents pretty much leaves me free to do whatever I want, but... I still have to listen to my mom complain when she thinks I'm doing something I shouldn't.
EDIT - Actually, there was one time when they tried to punish me. It was the night before sophomore year started and she told us at 11 we had to turn off the TV and go to bed. Futurama and Family Guy were on in the next hour, which I watched every night, but she wouldn't let me stay up later. I pointed out I always went to bed at 12 last year, that being the only year where I landed straight A's, but she didn't want to hear it. So I pretty much refused; I won't go through all her attempts to stop me and how I got around it, but long story short, there wasn't much she could do about it being that I'm quite a bit bigger than both her and my dad (though, if he'd been awake, he'd yell up a storm about disrespect). Anyway, she told me I was grounded until I started going to bed on time.
The next week or so, I was invited to see a movie, so I left a note on the white board while everyone else was still eating and snuck out to where my friend's car pulled up to get me. They didn't even noticed I'd gone, totally missing my message, and asked me when I got back why I didn't say anything. I reminded them I was supposed to be grounded. The look on their face was priceless. They never told me I was un-grounded, but they stopped bothering me about how I manage my time after that.
As long as cops aren't involved I'm cool.
My mother has come to the realisation that I might as well just do what I want - I don't see her too often, and even when I'm staying with her, I can do just about anything I like. It's a pretty liberal household.
When I live with my brother (most of the time when I'm off-campus) he's even more liberal. It's good, however, because he does actually give a damn if I'm about to get myself into a ****ty situation (one occasion he recalls involved me being off my face and being set upon by a load of chav girls - I don't remember it at all).
And my father has no input in my life at all.
I'm intrigued to whether being set upon by a load of chav girls was a positive or a negative situation (and, secondly, whether it yielded a positive or negative result).
Are Brits allowed to carry knives? Cuz I'd love nothing more than to go shank happy on a group of morons that tried to attack me.
i heard if you give somone the britain the peace sign with your fingers they'll think your giving them the middle finger. true?
Completely false.
And we're allowed to carry knives. Just not concealed knives. As far as I know, anyway. I mean, I'm fairly sure if you walked down the street with a machete you'd get arrested fairly soon.
My dad is very strict, and when he says that something is a rule, ITS A RULE, and he never forgets about my being grounded. Actually, I just get certain limitations, for example: Problem- getting B's(I don't really think this is a big problem), Punishment- get off computer at 8 until getting A's again.
My step-mom is unreasonable, though. She often won't let me do stuff like drive over to a friends house, "Because it's dark," even though I'm perfectly capable of driving at night. She also nags horrendously, and I have a hard time keeping my cool after her announcing the time in the morning every five minutes at the top of her lungs because she's worried that I'm going to be late.
So things were alright with my parents until I screwed up and got caught, and currently I can't drive. Soon enough, though, things will assume their old cycle.
Yeah, I used to get ragged on for Bs. What?
No, it doesn't. It's a slightly different meaning. It's still not pleasant, but there are certain situations in which different signs are called for.
I know too much about swearing.