... for my Communication Studies 1A class. [I'm going to say it in front of class]
Anything is acceptable--just make sure it's not racist or too long for me to say.
Have you ever seen that blind girl's dog?
Neither has she.
So a pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel down his pants.
The bartender asks, "Isn't that uncomfortable?"
The pirate responds, "Arrrh, it's driving me nuts."
What do you call a mexican baby?
A paragraph because it's too small to be an "essay".
What do you call a mexican with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
What do you call a mexican without a car?
Carlos.
Oh wai- :cool2:
Are they together?
*assuming class says "who?"*
answer with: your buttcheeks.
Yeah yeah, mine are all inappropriate, whatever.
Use Stalolins.
Some stupid four year-old kid was bragging about how awesome his ice cream was, so I kindly asked him if I could try it. He scrunched up his face and stuck his tongue out at me. The only possible way I could respond was that of sheer confusion, because I was really polite about it. I mean, he could have at least said "ah, no". But then I remembered he was four and proceeded to throw him up in the air and headbutt his groin. He fell to the ground with a resounding smack. Many wails of pain and baby-crying followed soon afterwards.
Then I remembered that I'm lactose-intolerant.
So two brothers burst into a courtroom where a mob boss is being put on trail, they wave their guns around and the first shouts: "Now you will receive us!"
His brother then says, "We do not ask for your poor or your hungry!"
The first man responds with, "We do not want your tired and sick!" And from there they trade of in a speech something like so.
"It is your corrupt we claim."
"It is your evil that will be sought by us!"
"With every breath we shall hunt them down."
"Each day we will spill their blood until it rains down from the skies!"
"Do not rape. Do not kill. Do not steal. These are principles which every man of every faith can embrace."
"These are not polite suggestions! These are codes of behavior! And those of you that ignore it will pay the dearest cost!"
"There are varying degrees of evil. We urge you lesser forms of filth, not to push the bounds and cross over. Into true corruption--into our domain."
"But if you do...one day you will look behind you and you will see we three. And on that day you will reap it!"
"And we will send you to whatever God you wish."
So then the two brothers and another man known as Il Duce place the man standing trail on his knees and say their family prayer before blowing his brains out.
Funny huh?
That should be in a movie.
Im sorry that i cant be much of a help, ive never been much of the joke telling type. Every time someone says "Hey, tell me a joke" I always think of Rocko from Boondock Saints telling his "Ill have a coke" joke to the mob boss. *** i love that movie, but it is certainly not appropriate to tell in front of a class.
What do you say to a black guy who keeps complaining at you?
"F[COLOR="White"]u[/COLOR]ck you [COLOR="White"]ni[/COLOR]gger."
It should elicit some funny reactions.
Michael Jackson was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. It caused quite a controversy, because his nose isn't eligible for another fifteen years.
When is it bedtime at Michael Jackson's house?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace'll do that to you.
[url=http://www.jokefile.co.uk/numerical_order/1160.html]Voodoo Penis.[/url]
I realize it's lengthy, and you probably don't need any more suggestions, but this was just in case you never looked it up. I'm just nice like that. :cool:
What do you get when you cover Tigger in soot? NIGGER!!
What do you call a black pilot?
A pilot, you racist.