Evil ex-girlfriend dilemma




Posted by Captain Cleanoff

Here's the deal. I've got a great girlfriend right now. We've been very close friends for 4 years prior, and have been officially going out since Jan 1, 2006. New Years Day. She's smoking hot, treats me like a king, enjoys the same pastimes I do, and so much more that I wouldn't have been able to name all the good qualities if I were asked to custom-build my own girlfriend. If all goes as planned, we will become Mr. and Mrs. Admiral Anthrax this year or next.

My best friend is a badass, usually a pimp who has hot chicks enamored with him. However, he has an on-again off-again ex with a total PSYCHO b!tch. He told me my gf is a keeper, while his ex-gf is the exact opposite, and yet he STILL can't get over her.

Let me list some of the things she has done: Slapped him for no reason. Deleted girls' numbers out of his cell phone. Deleted messages from girls from his email and his myspace. Deleted his myspace account. Constantly nags and p!sses and moans at him. Even my girlfriend hates her, and she's never even met her.

My best friend is still not over her, and though they are currently broken up, he wrote her a message on myspace last week saying he wanted to get back together with her. I've been trying to get him to see the light for the last half a year or so, and he was talking like he was going to finally stop talking to her, even blocking her on myspace and AIM; and now, this. He has unblocked her, of course. I got so mad after that happened, that I left him a myspace comment publicly telling him to "give that b!!tch the BOOT." She, of course, b!!tched me out for it, but I replied back telling her to quit being a b!tch if she wanted me to lay off her.

What the hell do I do to convince this guy to quit trying to go back to her?? She's his first love, but this is bad even for a first love situation, and while I'm no slouch in the girls department, this guy can get d-amn near any girl he wants. Yet he keeps going back to the worst one of all.




Posted by bazariah


Quoting ///Phantom:
What the hell do I do to convince this guy to quit trying to go back to her?? She's his first love, but this is bad even for a first love situation, and while I'm no slouch in the girls department, this guy can get d-amn near any girl he wants. Yet he keeps going back to the worst one of all.


tell him that it will ultimatley make him go mad, i mean i've been there before and it's not very nice... he's best off staying with his new chick, or even going to see a few prostitutes... it got me over one of my exes, and made me a lil more confident in myself... and if he can get any girl whom looks his way, he should take advantage of that :-D



Posted by Captain Cleanoff

What makes it even worse is it's all HOT girls who love him too. He knows two SMOKING hot Armenian twins who are single, and I keep telling him to go for one (or both) of them. They're very exotic looking, and hell, I'm Armenian, I gotta pimp the heritage.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

There's not much you can do. A lot of people go through what your friend is doing. They fall for someone and can't get back up afterwards. It'll take something really awful to happen to your friend before he realizes she's wrong for him.

You can waste your breath all you want, be he loves her, and it's near impossible to tell someone like that that they're wrong. He'll eventually see it though...




Posted by Random


Quoting ///Phantom:
Let me list some of the things she has done: Slapped him for no reason. Deleted girls' numbers out of his cell phone. Deleted messages from girls from his email and his myspace. Deleted his myspace account. Constantly nags and p!sses and moans at him. Even my girlfriend hates her, and she's never even met her.

My best friend is still not over her, and though they are currently broken up, he wrote her a message on myspace last week saying he wanted to get back together with her. I've been trying to get him to see the light for the last half a year or so, and he was talking like he was going to finally stop talking to her, even blocking her on myspace and AIM; and now, this. He has unblocked her, of course. I got so mad after that happened, that I left him a myspace comment publicly telling him to "give that b!!tch the BOOT." She, of course, b!!tched me out for it, but I replied back telling her to quit being a b!tch if she wanted me to lay off her.


I had a gf who deleted girls out of my cell phone, hit me with her car, hit me often, complained to me about everything, was hated by just about everyone even though she was a drop dead hottie. It was very upsetting. Even after I dumped her I wanted to go back out with her but she just treated me worse. She even used me for sex after we broke up and she had another boyfriend. Guess he couldn't cut it? I didn't know she had a boyfriend when I did it. Oh well got rid of her and now I too have a keeper. Get him to go out with numerous girls for a few weeks. Thats what I did. Went on a different date everyday and eventually got my mind off of her. It sent me on an ego trip but better an ego trip than depression or trying to get back with her eh?



Posted by Captain Cleanoff


Quoting SomebodyRandom: I had a gf who deleted girls out of my cell phone, hit me with her car, hit me often, complained to me about everything, was hated by just about everyone even though she was a drop dead hottie. It was very upsetting. Even after I dumped her I wanted to go back out with her but she just treated me worse. She even used me for sex after we broke up and she had another boyfriend. Guess he couldn't cut it? I didn't know she had a boyfriend when I did it. Oh well got rid of her and now I too have a keeper. Get him to go out with numerous girls for a few weeks. Thats what I did. Went on a different date everyday and eventually got my mind off of her. It sent me on an ego trip but better an ego trip than depression or trying to get back with her eh?


Good idea. Your reply is fascinating, since you've been the "abused" one too. What at the time went on in your head that made you want to get back with her?



Posted by Lord of Spam

Wait till they get on an off phase, then go get **** faced drunk and talk **** about her. Talking to friends while drunk helped me, maybe it'll work for him too.




Posted by Captain Cleanoff

Get HIM drunk, or me? Even if it was him, doesn't work because he doesn't drink, and if it was me, I'd probably start straying off topic and laughing at the stupidest things.




Posted by Lord of Spam

Ideally, you both get drunk as part of a group hangout/party. The goal is to shift his focus to something else. Getting drunk just makes it that much mroe fun and interesting.

But, if he doesnt drink then its really no use.




Posted by WILLETH FOR MONTHS

Having a first love is a bizarre thing, especially if you've never been tempted by anything else - there's a certain sense of purity that means you overlook all the obvious faults that everyone else seems to point out to you. It is, of course, his decision, and any suggestion you make about her faults will only make him think less of you, not her.

It could be that he enjoys the attention she gives him, be it negative or positive. I would suggest comparing your relationship with his, and showing him how good it can be - although make sure he knows he can do the same rather than being stuck with her.


The problem is, though, this sense of purity. No matter how much you feel like you should be with someone else, because she's your first love, you have a very strong emotional bond that means that going out with or doing anything with anyone else feels like treachery (even if you've been broken up for years and she's met someone else).

I still get very slight pangs of guilt when I ask someone new out, simply because it feels like you're turning your back on the love you said you had in your last relationship, which you now know not to be true.




Posted by Lord of Spam

I dont think that you need to feel bad about asking someone else out. Love isnt permanent, so its possible to stop loving someone.




Posted by Captain Cleanoff

He even agrees with me when I point out her faults. That's why I'm so confused.

The guilt thing is interesting though. I haven't felt that about my first love when I go out with another girl, though.




Posted by WILLETH FOR MONTHS

LoS: Oh, I know. But there's still that weird niggling feeling, anyway.
Freddy: Maybe I'm just weird. I tend to get very committed. But I know it took my ages to actually ask anyone else out after breaking up with my first girlfriend, simply because of a weird sense of loyalty.




Posted by mis0

If you value him as a friend, I think you should just leave him be. I lost a friend in a similar scenario.




Posted by Azusa

If he has a human conscience, no amount of alcohol is going to make it go away. I know that feeling. It never really goes away...it just becomes suppressed. But some people are just not good for each other, no matter how strongly they feel. I'm sure your friend will learn that in time; it's just something that has to come from experience.




Posted by Random


Quoting ///Phantom: Good idea. Your reply is fascinating, since you've been the "abused" one too. What at the time went on in your head that made you want to get back with her?


Well even though she treated me like dog **** in a way I sorta liked it. I mean it wasn't for me but I partially liked to be abused. Not to mention she's gorgeous, and we had sex all the time. So maybe those aren't great reasons but I managed to get away from it.



Posted by Lord of Spam

Alcohol frees the mind, letting the assumptions that a sboer mind would not question be looked at in a new light in order to determine whether they were valid in the first place.

That, and its fun as ****.




Posted by NES Queen

unless your opinion or advice is asked for, dont give it. theres nothing you can say to change his mind or make him see through your eyes. the more poo you talk about her, the more it will make him end up hating you. despite the fact that she may be a c*nt and completely wrong for him, he loves her (or at least thinks he does). just think how hurt and angry you would feel if he said those things about your girlfriend.




Posted by Trigger

[quote=///Phantom]Slapped him for no reason.
He's a male, he can defend himself.

[quote]Deleted girls' numbers out of his cell phone.
Shouldn't have given her his phone, if he found seeing personal information that he wouldn't wish to lose to be a problem.

[quote]Deleted messages from girls from his email and his myspace. Deleted his myspace account.
Both of which are services that rely on having a password before successfully logging in. It is his own fault for being so careless with his password and accounts.

[quote]Constantly nags and p!sses and moans at him.
Not a big issue that makes her much worse than any other partner. Plenty of women are considered to be "pissing and moaning" at their men all the time. Why is she suddenly worse than every other woman who does the same?

[quote]Even my girlfriend hates her, and she's never even met her.
It's easy to paint a negative picture about someone else to someone who has never met them or experienced anything for themselves by the person being spoken about. The media does it daily, to millions all over the world. I hardly think your girlfriends uneducated, inexperienced opinion makes much of a reason why this 'ex' is bad and "evil."




Posted by Captain Cleanoff

Trigger, stop posting horrid attempts at being the devil's advocate. If I want your opinion, I'll kill myself first.




Posted by NES Queen

yes, ignore her. she's coming off just as bad as this evil ex-gf by making an attempt to justify her horrible actions.

1. male or female, no one should be hitting their mate.
2. you should be able to trust the person your with to not do destructive things to your property.
3. and despite the way Trigger may carry herself, "****ing and moaning" are not pre-requisites or requirements for being a woman.




Posted by Killer Jordo

Let it go on its own. Don't interfere. In ahwile he should realize that she is a bit[COLOR="White"]ch[/COLOR] and should leave her.

If not may I suggest an intervention?




Posted by Klarth

You've never talked to a girl. Shut up.




Posted by WILLETH FOR MONTHS

To be fair, the 'my girlfriend hates her and has never even met her' did seem a bit judgemental. But meh.




Posted by Captain Cleanoff


Quoting Wings: To be fair, the 'my girlfriend hates her and has never even met her' did seem a bit judgemental. But meh.

*shrugs* She hates in when a girl treats her man badly because she loves to treat her man well. I'm not complaining.



Posted by Lord of Spam

Subserviance ftw.

It sounds like he just needs to have it blow up in his face properly before he'll get it. It sucks, but it might be true.:(




Posted by Poco

Tell him to get his balls back and then sever. I did it and look at me.




Posted by Trigger

[quote=///Phantom]Trigger, stop posting horrid attempts at being the devil's advocate. If I want your opinion, I'll kill myself first.
If your friend wanted your opinion, he'd ask you. Ironic how that works, isn't it? Oh, and you might want to be more specific about the people whose opinions you want when you openly ask for them on a public forum that is directed to all members. I could have gone into how the first paragraph of your post is completely irrelevant to the actual topic you're wanting to discuss, but I didn't.

Stop getting your panties in a twist when you don't receive the thread replies that you want from the people that you want. If you want to be more specific about what people should be saying and who should be saying it, be prepared to start excluding those who you don't want to hear from at the very beginning of your thread. That is, start saying that you don't want Trigger to give her opinion, as opposed to whining later because you're too lazy and expect me to be a mind reader about what you want.

I hardly see how I'm even attempting to be the "devil's advocate," either. If you're too blind to see that the fact of the matter is most of the things you complained about are due to his own negligence, then that's your problem, not mine. I suppose you think everyone in the world automatically knows someone elses account details without being told, or could it be that you simply can't refute any my points?




Posted by Philsdad

I think you should get a rocket ship and blast her off to the moon. Everybody wins that way.




Posted by Captain Cleanoff


Quoting Trigger: If your friend wanted your opinion, he'd ask you.

He already has before. You lose. Don't post.



Posted by sabre


Quoting Trigger: I hardly see how I'm even attempting to be the "devil's advocate," either. If you're too blind to see that the fact of the matter is most of the things you complained about are due to his own negligence, then that's your problem, not mine. I suppose you think everyone in the world automatically knows someone elses account details without being told, or could it be that you simply can't refute any my points?
Though I agree, I will add that it -is- a two way street and you have to take both sides into consideration - though he was negligent, that doesn't change that his girlfriend is needlessly spiteful. The fact that he was to blame for being negligent with his information doesn't mean that she's justified at all, it doesn't make everything okay all of a sudden. She's still a wretch.



Posted by WILLETH FOR MONTHS

Philsdad wins.




Posted by Klarth

Yeah, agreed. His suggestion seems the most plausible. :)




Posted by Kamek

If she is his first love, I really don't know what'll make him stop. Time is the best thing I can think of. He'll get over her in time. I can't really speak for anyone else, but a first love is something really unique. You don't quite know what to expect, everything's so new, and I'm sure it would be something hard to get over. I'm not really experienced on getting over a first love, because I'm still with mine, and honestly I hope I stay with her. Perhaps someone new will come along and sweep him away. Yeah he's a chick magnet, but maybe the girl for him hasn't come his way yet. Time is the best thing I can think of.




Posted by Shade

[QUOTE=Trigger]He's a male, he can defend himself.

So that justifies physical abuse? You lose.

[quote]Shouldn't have given her his phone, if he found seeing personal information that he wouldn't wish to lose to be a problem.Both of which are services that rely on having a password before successfully logging in. It is his own fault for being so careless with his password and accounts.

So? Again, that doesn't justify what she did when given the passwords and cell phone. If somebody gave you their password to their email, would you think, "Hey, they gave me their password, that must mean it's okay for me to delete whatever the f*ck I want!"

[quote]Not a big issue that makes her much worse than any other partner. Plenty of women are considered to be "pissing and moaning" at their men all the time. Why is she suddenly worse than every other woman who does the same?

She's not worse than other women who do that just because of that one fault, it's when it's added on to all the other things that's wrong with her. :)




Posted by WILLETH FOR MONTHS


Quoting Shade: "Hey, they gave me their password, that must mean it's okay for me to delete whatever the f*ck I want!"

That totally happened to me. I had to get a new Gmail and MSN account because of it. It sucks.

A lesson is learned, though. But the damage? Irreversible.