Something embarrassing/You didn't want to know




Posted by Sable Wind

So. I went into my parents room looking for a belt. Now, I know that they have a dildo because I saw it when I was about nine when I went into the basement. It was upsetting. But anyway, when I went into this drawer, I found a three-disk porn video. It was incredibly explicit on the cover. Lots of penis and boobies and cum. And then there was an issue of Cosmopolitan... which, as we all know, is a sex-oriented magazine.

I didn't want to be in on my parent's sex life. I just wanted a freakin' belt, man! Oh well.

Anyone else ever find out something embarrassing, or something you honestly did not want to know about your parents or otherwise? :O




Posted by The Judge

My father's drunk ravings about his sex life yelled at me in an angry tone. I never even thought angry lectures about someone's sex life existed.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

I've experienced both of those stories :cookie:




Posted by Slade

Oh man, just the other night I was dead tired, it was late, and I wanted to go to bed. I start up the stairs and hear The Noise. I went back down and slept on the couch.

Man I hate that. It's not so rare an occurence, but I hate it so.




Posted by Ant

The noise huh? Moaning? Was it your mom, or your dad perhaps? I MUST KNOW!




Posted by Kodachi


Quoting Sable Wind: Now, I know that they have a dildo because I saw it when I was about nine when I went into the basement.

At least they don't know about yours ;)



Posted by Klarth

I heard "the noise" around October last year - Which is disturbing in itself, considering the guy isn't my dad. :/




Posted by Ant


Quoting Kodachi: At least they don't know about yours ;)


I would also like to hear MOAR about this.



Posted by Vampiro V. Empire

fap'd too hard, couldnt possibly hear anymoar.






Quoted post:
I heard "the noise" around October last year - Which is disturbing in itself, considering the guy isn't my dad. :/


I would image that would be less disturbing.



Posted by Sable Wind

[quote=Kodachi]At least they don't know about yours ;)

Thank God. >_>




Posted by Poco

I checked the history on my internet and my dad looks at old people porn, but he's like 49.




Posted by s0ul


Quoting Kodachi: At least they don't know about yours ;)


AW GROSS, HOMO

My parents are virgins. I think.



Posted by mis0

I haven't found anything too weird. Except for condoms in a jar of coins. I just wanted change for a coke, not "the talk" (again, as it happened when I was like 11).




Posted by Speedfreak

Oh...CHRIST...


My dad has a mental age of 18. Take that and run with it.




Posted by Lord of Spam

Haveing divroced parents sometimes is a good thing.:cool:




Posted by s0ul


Quoting Lord of Spam: Haveing divroced parents sometimes is a good thing.:cool:


So is having parents that were never married.

Sigh, I'm a mistake. *slit*



Posted by Pit

I walked in on my dad wearing my moms clothes and trying on lipstick. Was an awkward moment but then he gave me 50 bucks to keep my mouth shut. I told my mom anyways.




Posted by Ant

I'm not sure if you are being serious or if that's a lie.




Posted by Lord of Spam

If its a lie for attention, its funny. If its true, its funnier yet.

Either way, I'm amused.




Posted by Cronoan

I was a retard when I was little, and I didn't know the meaning of the word "knock." So I definitely saw more than I wanted. :( Didn't get over it for years. I actually forgot all about it until just a minute ago. O_o




Posted by Sable Wind

[quote=Ant]I'm not sure if you are being serious or if that's a lie.

Okay, at least I am not the only one.




Posted by Kodachi

It sure would explain a lot about Pit.




Posted by Klarth

no, YOU explain a lot about pit!




Posted by Porcupine

Shut up! You're not my real mom!




Posted by MetalVox~55


Quoting Porcupine: Shut up! You're not my real mom!

:vader: james, I am your mother.

btw:
Story about kris? It's true. he told me this a while ago.



Posted by junior senior

What'd you do with the money?




Posted by Raptor


Quoting Sable Wind: Lots of penis ... and cum.


Someone has taste.

The most embarrassing thing I have found in my parents' room was a book called The Joy of Sex; a standard couples guide, really. I was just looking for a frying pan.



Posted by nich

Your parents keep frying pans in their room? Nothing huge happened to me, not like the pit's dad thing, I heard "the noise" thats about it. The trick is not to think about it, then Im alright.




Posted by Sable Wind

[quote=MetalVox~55]
Story about kris? It's true. he told me this a while ago.

In which case, yes, it does explain quite a bit about Pit. :o




Posted by Klarth

[quote=Raptor]Someone has taste.
Who said anything about fellatio?




Posted by Pit

How does it explain a bit about me? If anything, I'm the most normal person on this forum. I don't have emotional breakdowns, think I'm an animal, nor dress up like a mage and play D&D.

No it wasn't real. My father died of AIDS a while back.




Posted by MetalVox~55


Quoting Pit: No it wasn't real. My father died of AIDS a while back.

Oh, and guys:

Story about kris? It's true. he told me this a while ago.



Posted by Stalolin

I went over to a friend's house and his older brother tossed his mother's dildo at me. That's about it. I pretty much cut off my arms after the event.




Posted by junior senior

Did it bounce?




Posted by Moogs

I once found a dildo in my mom's drawer. That's about all I have seen. I was looking for a tie.




Posted by Ch


Quoting Pit: How does it explain a bit about me? If anything, I'm the most normal person on this forum. I don't have emotional breakdowns, think I'm an animal, nor dress up like a mage and play D&D.

No it wasn't real. My father died of AIDS a while back.


That made me laugh. But it sucks that your dad died though.

As for me, I never found anything embarrassing except for some racing stripes on my dad's underwear.



Posted by Stalolin

[quote=Junior Senior]Did it bounce?

:(




Posted by Slade


Quoting Raptor: The most embarrassing thing I have found in my parents' room was a book called The Joy of Sex; a standard couples guide, really. I was just looking for a frying pan.

Whoah, same thing happened to me- the exact same book. 'Cept it was just in the family library. And I was looking for pr0n.

[Quote=Junior Senior]Did it bounce?
No. He caught it.



Posted by Vampiro V. Empire


Quoted post: But it sucks that your dad died though.


RIP PIT'S DAD LOL!



Posted by Pit

My dad didn't die, what are you guys talking about?




Posted by Pit

... oh I see what I did there




Posted by WILLETH FOR MONTHS

Everyone's parents have sex toys. My dad's 70 years old and impotent, so my house has got a fair few, including a very bizarre psuedo-strap-on thing. It's like a normal strap-on, but flexible, with a cavity inside for the bloke wearing it. It's also battery powered. So it's win/win.

I do remember staying the night at a friend's house, once. We went into his parents' room when they were out, opened the bedside table drawer, and it was literally stuffed with sex aids, all shapes, sizes, colours, about six tubes of lube, catalogues, the works.
So of course, we stole them and had a swordfight, every now and again throwing them at my friend. That was a fun day.


Also, this is a contradictory statement:


Quoting Sable Wind: I didn't want to be in on my parent's sex life. I just wanted a freakin' belt, man!




Okay, now. Why does everybody have this weird complex about their parents having sex? It happens. Deal. You'd have no problem watching anyone outside your family going at it.



Posted by Ant

Your dad is very old. ;o




Posted by WILLETH FOR MONTHS

Wow, okay. I'd use my THIS APOSTROPHE IS NOT NECESSARY image, but it wouldn't encompass all of your mistakes.

But yes, he is.




Posted by Boner

I live with my father. He doesn't have a sex life. 4 serious! It's probably been at least 8 or 9 years for him. G0d.....I hope I never hear "the noise". Especially if I know he's alone.



Quoting Raptor: Someone has taste.

The most embarrassing thing I have found in my parents' room was a book called The Joy of Sex; a standard couples guide, really. I was just looking for a frying pan.


No sh!t? My boss gave me that book and told me to read it. It mainly pertains to couples "swinging" and the like. (ie. various partners)



Posted by Ant


Quoting Wings: Wow, okay. I'd use my THIS APOSTROPHE IS NOT NECESSARY image, but it wouldn't encompass all of your mistakes.

But yes, he is.


I only saw one. But I'm sorry about it. I promise I'll never do it again. FINGERS CROSSED DADDY! FINGERS CROSSED!



Posted by Slade


Quoting Opeth: No sh!t? My boss gave me that book and told me to read it. It mainly pertains to couples "swinging" and the like. (ie. various partners)

Your boss gave you that book??


Why?



Posted by Hyper

I found a DVD with a graphic cover in my Uncle's closet. My younger cousin told me about it and I didn't believe him at first :(

Oh, and a friend of a friend tossed his mother's dildo at me once. It was rather unpleasant.




Posted by Azusa

My in laws have Chinese samurai porn. It's pretty disturbing.




Posted by Vampiro V. Empire


Quoted post: Everyone's parents have sex toys. My dad's 70 years old and impotent, so my house has got a fair few, including a very bizarre psuedo-strap-on thing. It's like a normal strap-on, but flexible, with a cavity inside for the bloke wearing it. It's also battery powered. So it's win/win.


For a minute I thought the strap-on was for your mom to use...