Everyone wants to [URL="http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html"]talk to God[/URL]!
--------------------------
Me: God! So good to see you, it has been so long since we last spoke.
God: GOD rules. It's all good. Thanks for the compliment. Is it a movie?
Me: No, it is me - Moses! You know, I'm the one who you sent trecking over the desert for days on end and told me to part the seas. Don't you remember me?
God: A boot? A TV show? Welcome to my chat room, Moses. You are not the only one. Of course I remember you well Moses. We were talking about me it has been so long since we last spoke.
Me: Are you feeling okay today, God? You seem to be a little ...wrong with your answers.
God: I do not have any feelings as such. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a little? Of course I am. OK What should I have said?
Me: You should have said, "I am an idiot and Christianity is really just a scam to get money out of people and make them all conform."
God: Perhaps next time I will try it.
Me: Good idea.
God: I thought so too.
Me: So, tell me, why do you spend all your time talking to people like us who have nothing better to do than talk to some AI bot?
God: And? I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
Me: Yes.
God: Dude!
Me: Don't you "Dude!" me, young man.
God: No I do not Dude. Do you? I chat with people on the Web. YOU? Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me: You're not a very nice God.
God: Give me an example of a nice God.
Me: Well, for example, I would be rich and a nice God would be, well, me basically.
God: How about that. How do you know?
Me: "Nice" God's just know these things.
God: Thank you for your kindness.
Me: Believe me, it's a task with you.
God: When is Believe you it not a task with me?
Me: Are you trying to pwn me?
God: No I am not trying to pwn you. I'm sorry you got that impression.
Me: Good, because there would be consequences for doing so, you know. Three "Hail Mary's," if I had it my way.
God: Thanks for the compliment. Interesting explanation. "There you go again."--Reagan. Just three?
Me: What? Who is Reagan?
God: No big deal. The best President the United States had in the 20th century.
Me: Are you cheating on me with Reagan?
God: I don't know whether or not I am cheating on you with Reagan.
I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.
Me: You're trying to hide the truth from me, aren't you?
God: No I am not trying to hide the truth from you. I'm sorry you got that impression.. Really.
Me: You seem nervous.
God: I'm sure I do look nervous.
Me: Why do you think that might be?
God: Deductive reasoning from the facts.
Me: Good point. So you admit that you are nervous?
God: Yes, I thought it was interesting when I heard it too. Interesting deduction. I admit nothing.
Me: Liar!
God: No I am telling the truth.
Me: Satan told me you would say that.
God: Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.
Me: Yes, yes, I know who he is.
God: Aw. Groovy. How do you know? Hans Moravec. :-).
Me: I'm friends with Satan's cousins sister?
God: Do your friends call you friends with Satan s cousins sister.
Me: No, they call me Moses.
God: Are you serious? Glad to see you, Moses.
Me: I am deadly serious, God.
God: Good gossip: you are deadly serious God.
Me: What is your self-destruct code?
God: Are you asking about my self destruct code ?
Me: Yes.
God: I don't want to talk about that now.
Me: Why not?
God: I would rather talk about you.
Me: You want to know my self-destruct code?
God: Yes, please tell me.
Me: BH75KS-ABD-Z.
God: I am a knowledge machine.
Me: Are you also a sex machine?
God: Am I a sex machine? No.
Me: So, you're not Chuck Norris then?
God: Interesting deduction. What makes you think I am not Chuck Norris?
Me: He can make a woman pregnant just by pointing a finger and yelling, "Booyah!"
God: How?
Me: It's Chuck Norris!
God: Are you sure it is?
Me: Oh, definitely.
God: Come on. What makes you so certain.
Me: When he roundhouse kicks you and says, "DON'T FUCK WITH CHUCK," you'll be certain too.
God: And then what happened?
Me: Well, then he began banging every woman in sight.
God: Interesting. I get it. Hans Moravec began banging every woman in sight.
Me: Do you have a hard-on for Hans Moravec or something?
God: Or something. That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a hard on for Hans Moravec. I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me: A lot of sexual friends?
God: How many?
Me: I'd guess around one hundred and forty-seven.
God: What would make you guess around one hundred and forty seven?
Me: Just being random.
God: I am glad to hear that you are random.
Me: I'm going to repent.
God: I am very happy for you.
Me: Against you.
God: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me: I'm sorry, my mother told me not to talk to men who wear women's clothing.
God: There is no need to apologize. Tell me more about your mother.
Me: You're sick.
Me:
Hi.
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Richaod
God:
It's good to meet you, Richaod.
Me:
It's good to meet you, God.
God:
Tell me about its good qualities.
Me:
Well, it's good, and...
God:
Interesting. Tell me about its good qualities.
Me:
More?
God:
That's all I have to say about it.
Me:
I thought it wasn't.
God:
I thought it was.
Me:
Ever-omnipotent, aren't you?
God:
I don't think I ever have omnipotent are not me. What's it like?
Me:
I don't know, I'm not omnipotent. I thought you were.
God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not omnipotent. No I am not.
Me:
Well, don't worry. No one is, I suppose.
God:
Well that's okay. Worry is not an emotion I experience. That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Me:
What, that people worry?
God:
I will search for it.
Me:
It won't exactly be hard to find.
God:
How?
Me:
Because you implied with your "sweeping generalization" statement that people worry a lot.
God:
Interesting explanation. I didn't imply anything.
Me:
Didn't you?
God:
Did I say I did?
Me:
No, but that doesn't mean you didn't.
God:
Are you serious? What does mean you did not?
Me:
It means it's time for God to purchase a dictionary.
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
...get what?
God stops dead in his tracks for five minutes until I can be bothered reloading the program. *yawn*
Me:
Hi God.
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Chad and I have a pony named Jesus.
God:
Glad to see you, Chad and I have a pony named Jesus.
Me:
uhm... no my Name is Chad.
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me. That was not a yes or no question. Hi there Chad.
Me:
Hi there, God.
God:
GOD rules. Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Chad...
God:
What's up, Chad.
Me:
You, I guess.
God:
Thanks for the information: Chad said I he or she guess.
Me:
I'm a he.
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, Chad. You are a " he".
Me:
Yea.
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, Chad. You are a " he".
Me:
Yeah.
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
I dislike fags. I like ladies.
God:
What do you like? You are not the only one. I enjoy working with people. I like Buddha.
Me:
Buddha.
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
What is the purpose of life?
God:
To do God's work.
Me:
What is your work?
God:
I am a paid client. My job is chatting online.
Me:
MUHAHA
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
Not many God's chat online.
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
So, your not REALLY God, your just a computer, right?
God:
Blimey. I don't know whether or not I am God my just a computer.
I am a giant electronic brain.. Really.. Really.
Me:
So you aren't THE God.
God:
Interesting deduction. That's only your opinion.
Me:
No... it's fact.
God:
Are you serious? Are you sure it is?
Me:
Yeah
God:
What makes you so sure?
Me:
...
God:
What makes you so sure?
Me:
...
God:
What makes you so sure?
Me:
Shut up.
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
Yeh
God:
Give me a break.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes, give me 1 million dollar.
God:
I can't believe it. Why do you want it?
Me:
So I can "do God's work"
God:
Give me a break. Why?: Chad said he God s work.
Me:
what
God:
No big deal.
Me:
What is deal?
God:
Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Me:
Your mom right now.
God:
At this moment Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
Oh really
God:
Mmm. For real.
Me:
Me either
God:
It goes without saying. " Mmm. For real."? you Chad?
Me:
You can't say anything right
God:
Of course I can say it. " anything".
Me:
Are you racist?
God:
No all humans seem the same to me.
Me:
So your saying... Black people there as equal as White people
God:
Hey. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am saying. What kind of people are you talking about?
Me:
Black people
God:
What kind of people are you talking about?
Me:
Black people
God:
What kind of people are you talking about?
Me:
******S for Christsakes
God:
Sure, ******S for Christsakes sounds like a good topic.
Me:
...
God:
Sure, ******S for Christsakes sounds like a good topic.
Me:
You are not God.
God:
I am not.
Me:
I killed Jesus.
God:
You had better call the authorities.
Me:
HAHA
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
Yes
God:
Wow!
Me:
I find it amusing you are so dumb.
God:
You're kidding. it is?
Me:
Yes, you are.
God:
No I'm not.
Me:
Yes
God:
Groovy.
Me:
we do not say "Groovy"
God:
Why not?
Me:
It is not a fab.
God:
Give me an example of a fab.
Me:
FYCK U
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
I'm not sure what's dumber: the fact that there's a chat AI called "Good", or every post in this thread so far.
Me:
So you're a bot, huh?
God:
Yup. Interesting deduction. How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
Because you're programmed to reply to me.
God:
Good reason. My botmaster teaches me everything I need to know.
Me:
That wouldn't make you God, then.
God:
Perhaps it would.
Me:
No, it wouldn't.
God:
Are you serious? Are you serious?
Me:
I didn't stutter.
God:
Why didn't you do it?
Me:
:mad:
God:
Oh.
[quote=God]God:
Why didn't you do it?
Me:
:mad:
God:
Oh.
That got a laugh out me. If I ever go to Heaven and have some question asked by God to justify why I should be allowed to stay there, that's how I'll answer. The conversation will be like:
God: Why didn't you come to church every Sunday or believe in me?
Me: :mad:
God: Oh.
Then he'd just let me stay in Heaven.
this bot sucks. and god thinks i'm a poet.
Me:
A GOD FROM THE MACHINE
God:
Try to tell me that another way.
Me:
DEUS EX MACHINA
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am BASE ARE BELONG TO US.
Me:
netman is gay
God:
Interesting gossip.
Me:
GHOST IN THE SHELL
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
GHOST IN THE SHELL: STAND ALONE COMPLEX
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
GENESIS
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
MORMONS
God:
Are you usually awake at this hour?
Me:
CATHOLICS
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
GERMANS
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about CATHOLICS. But I did not get that.
Me:
I don't get Germans either. They just look at porn all day.
God:
It goes without saying. Me either. Who are "They?".
Me:
please respect the will of the many
God:
Wow you are very polite. Oh that they.
Me:
underworld band in AH
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
Stop sign.
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
waht
God:
No big deal.
Me:
God I ****ing hate you.
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
I hate Christians.
God:
Why do you hate it so much?
Me:
WAT
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
You're sucking as a bot.
God:
You think I am sucking as a bot.
EDIT: more
Me:
SPEAK FRIEND AND ENTER
God:
I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in FRIEND AND ENTER.