Poison
22nd May 2005, 04:09 PM
This happened during my junior year of high school (3 years ago)
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I awake from my night’s sleep knowing that today will not just be another normal day. Today is the day that I confess my love to Lilth. I have known Lilth for a little over two years now and today is the day I take it to the next echelon.
The day started out normally. I woke up at the same time; I washed my face and took a shower. I ate and went off to school. On the bus ride to school, I kept thinking of the things that I could say to her. I tired to sum up my love for one girl, all in one sentence. I also thought about the relationship that I would be in. As the bus neared my stop, I started to repent; I realized that I fear rejection.
In my first period class, I couldn’t keep up; the thoughts of Lilth kept coming up. I kept dreaming about her smooth golden hair, her cute perfect nose, and her beautiful and lucid eyes. When the class finally ended, I learned nothing. All I did was think about Lilth, and that I will meet her in two more periods in our lunch break.
It’s second period. I started to think about her even more. It seemed as if I was in my own world. I kept thinking about what I was going say. Maybe a simple “I love you” would do, but then again I thought that was to clichéd. My thoughts altered; no longer am I thinking of what to say, but just her returning my love. As time passed, I dreamed of her and I on the beach as the sun sets. Right before the sun reaches the water, I hold her in my arms. I whisper in her ear words of love and proceed to kiss her. As my lips touch her sweet lips, the bell rings. I realized that the class was over and I was making stupid faces to myself.
Third period started, I was already in another dream. This time, it was an awful one. I thought of what would happen if she didn’t reciprocate my love, and how awkward it would be. The different scenarios ran through my head. One situation was that she would just laugh at me, but I ruled it out. I knew in my heart that she wasn’t cruel and would never mock me. On the other hand, she may take it as a joke. I also ruled that highly unlikely, she knows when I am serious, and when I’m joking.
At the start of fourth period, I have always waited for her close to the stairs. Like always, she walks down the stairs gracefully. “Hi James, what’s up?” she said. At this time, my heart beats rapidly, not knowing if I should tell her how I feel? “Oh nothing much Lilth,” I replied. I added, “How were your classes?” She started telling me about her day, but I was too mesmerized by her radiance. At the lunch table, time passed too fast as I was enjoying lunch with her. I knew I couldn’t tell her my feelings. I told her to wait for me after school and I would walk her home.
Fifth period started, and I still don’t know what to say to her. I tried to think back at all the time we spent together and all the things I loved about her. I love the simple things, like the way she sits in class. I love the way she walks all cute with her hands in the sleeves. I love the way she smiles at me when she talks. At that point, I wanted to hold her in my arms and never let go. With that in mind, all period I tried to come up with something to say. Near the end of the period, I couldn’t put together all my great memories into something special
The last period of class started, I was in trouble. I was going to meet Lilth in about forty minutes and I still don’t know what to say. At this time, I started to pray to ***. I asked him to bless my words; to make them a sweet song to her ears. After realizing that relying on *** may not work, I moved on to something different. Maybe I could get her to know I love her without me saying anything. That idea was even worse than relying on ***. Finally, I gave up. I knew my love for her was true and that I would think of something right before I saw her. Class was about to end anyway, so I went with that idea.
I waited for her near the park. The fall season made the surroundings romantic. The yellow, orange, and red colors lined the floor and trees. The air was crisp and the sky was perfectly lit. The soft blue mixed with the gold of the evening sky. Before I knew it, Lilth was already out from her class and walked over to me. As she stood in front of me, the yielding wind blew the leafs around us. Her golden hair gently waved as the lush colors of the fall danced in a circle.
I knew that this was the perfect moment. “Lilth, before you say anything to me, I have something very important I want to say to you,” I said. I held her hands, stepped closer, and told her, “Lilth, you are my joy in the world, the first winter’s snow, the kind mist of the ocean spray, and the tender warmth of the sun.” I step closer, look into her beautiful eyes and whisper, “Lilth, I love you.” Now, my heart is pounding, not knowing the words she was going to say. She tilted her head closer to mine, and kissed me on my cheek. As soon as she kissed me, I was in total bliss. My heart clamed down, and I felt weightless. She then took a deep breath, and told me she was sorry. She said she couldn’t return my love. After hearing this, there was a sharp pain in my core. The weightlessness now felt numb. She hugged me, turned around and walked away. Keeping myself from breaking down, I turned around and started to walk. I thought to myself, “My love is lost, I cannot adore. I love my sweet Lilth…nevermore.”
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I awake from my night’s sleep knowing that today will not just be another normal day. Today is the day that I confess my love to Lilth. I have known Lilth for a little over two years now and today is the day I take it to the next echelon.
The day started out normally. I woke up at the same time; I washed my face and took a shower. I ate and went off to school. On the bus ride to school, I kept thinking of the things that I could say to her. I tired to sum up my love for one girl, all in one sentence. I also thought about the relationship that I would be in. As the bus neared my stop, I started to repent; I realized that I fear rejection.
In my first period class, I couldn’t keep up; the thoughts of Lilth kept coming up. I kept dreaming about her smooth golden hair, her cute perfect nose, and her beautiful and lucid eyes. When the class finally ended, I learned nothing. All I did was think about Lilth, and that I will meet her in two more periods in our lunch break.
It’s second period. I started to think about her even more. It seemed as if I was in my own world. I kept thinking about what I was going say. Maybe a simple “I love you” would do, but then again I thought that was to clichéd. My thoughts altered; no longer am I thinking of what to say, but just her returning my love. As time passed, I dreamed of her and I on the beach as the sun sets. Right before the sun reaches the water, I hold her in my arms. I whisper in her ear words of love and proceed to kiss her. As my lips touch her sweet lips, the bell rings. I realized that the class was over and I was making stupid faces to myself.
Third period started, I was already in another dream. This time, it was an awful one. I thought of what would happen if she didn’t reciprocate my love, and how awkward it would be. The different scenarios ran through my head. One situation was that she would just laugh at me, but I ruled it out. I knew in my heart that she wasn’t cruel and would never mock me. On the other hand, she may take it as a joke. I also ruled that highly unlikely, she knows when I am serious, and when I’m joking.
At the start of fourth period, I have always waited for her close to the stairs. Like always, she walks down the stairs gracefully. “Hi James, what’s up?” she said. At this time, my heart beats rapidly, not knowing if I should tell her how I feel? “Oh nothing much Lilth,” I replied. I added, “How were your classes?” She started telling me about her day, but I was too mesmerized by her radiance. At the lunch table, time passed too fast as I was enjoying lunch with her. I knew I couldn’t tell her my feelings. I told her to wait for me after school and I would walk her home.
Fifth period started, and I still don’t know what to say to her. I tried to think back at all the time we spent together and all the things I loved about her. I love the simple things, like the way she sits in class. I love the way she walks all cute with her hands in the sleeves. I love the way she smiles at me when she talks. At that point, I wanted to hold her in my arms and never let go. With that in mind, all period I tried to come up with something to say. Near the end of the period, I couldn’t put together all my great memories into something special
The last period of class started, I was in trouble. I was going to meet Lilth in about forty minutes and I still don’t know what to say. At this time, I started to pray to ***. I asked him to bless my words; to make them a sweet song to her ears. After realizing that relying on *** may not work, I moved on to something different. Maybe I could get her to know I love her without me saying anything. That idea was even worse than relying on ***. Finally, I gave up. I knew my love for her was true and that I would think of something right before I saw her. Class was about to end anyway, so I went with that idea.
I waited for her near the park. The fall season made the surroundings romantic. The yellow, orange, and red colors lined the floor and trees. The air was crisp and the sky was perfectly lit. The soft blue mixed with the gold of the evening sky. Before I knew it, Lilth was already out from her class and walked over to me. As she stood in front of me, the yielding wind blew the leafs around us. Her golden hair gently waved as the lush colors of the fall danced in a circle.
I knew that this was the perfect moment. “Lilth, before you say anything to me, I have something very important I want to say to you,” I said. I held her hands, stepped closer, and told her, “Lilth, you are my joy in the world, the first winter’s snow, the kind mist of the ocean spray, and the tender warmth of the sun.” I step closer, look into her beautiful eyes and whisper, “Lilth, I love you.” Now, my heart is pounding, not knowing the words she was going to say. She tilted her head closer to mine, and kissed me on my cheek. As soon as she kissed me, I was in total bliss. My heart clamed down, and I felt weightless. She then took a deep breath, and told me she was sorry. She said she couldn’t return my love. After hearing this, there was a sharp pain in my core. The weightlessness now felt numb. She hugged me, turned around and walked away. Keeping myself from breaking down, I turned around and started to walk. I thought to myself, “My love is lost, I cannot adore. I love my sweet Lilth…nevermore.”