The Judge
9th April 2005, 10:46 PM
Here I hath categorized a log of my thoughts throughout the work day EXACTLY as they happened. I hope you enjoy my tale of conquest.
Welcome to the halls of my MIND!
Key the heavenly chorus!
Walk a bit over and look out the polished window
It’s funny if you have a sick sense of humor
Like me! (love me!)
See that hammer over there?
That’s what happens to kids who complain too much.
Where to begin a drastic tale of epic proportions?
It’s not too easy to decide
When you take a little tablespoon of HELL every morning
At 7 am
Is roughly when I wake up
But who knows?
And what kind of man would use a handicap stall
When he’s not handicapped?!
A MAN WHO PREFERS HIS SPACE!
That’s who
Would know after that what it feels like
To be WALKED ALL OVER
By THOUSANDS and THOUSANDS of ants!
After all, it wasn’t my fault
I just assumed because she was ugly that she wasn’t married!
I was sure wrong on that one
(Maybe her husband likes ladies with skin conditions?)
It’s a mad world out there, for sure
But more importantly my nose is cold
FREEZING like in the 9TH CIRCLE OF HELL
For lack of a better analogy
SPIDER ON MY WALL
Prepares for Death unknowingly!
*Ten minutes later [seriously]*
DISPOSED OF!
Metallica: Best served in heavy doses
Until you reach St. Anger (then just stop)
The battle cry rings out above and beyond
In rejoice!
Who alone could utilize?
The utilization!
Think about it, thinker
And KNOW MY NAME!
Also know this:
The bigger they are
The harder they BURN!
(That also goes for oils, kids)
Why the censorship?
Why the pain?
Goodness me I need to wash my hands!
They’re filthy
All of them, lousy people
“I want to use my coupons”
Well DIE FOR IT
And while you’re dieing
Get me some Cadburry Eggs
Cause those are delicious
Though not necessarily nutritious
[Hard to deny the rhyme, isn‘t it?]
And when you get right down to faith,
The pure, unbridled question arises:
Why was that spider shaking its butt when it walked?
What if its web is still there and I run into it?
I can see myself just freaking!
SCREAMING like a little girl,
A woman, thereof
Which I’ve been thought to be
8 times now in the past month
Saddening, but I want a Darth Vader Mask
I bet they’re about $40 at Wal-Mart
So I can be in the kitchen and say
“I’m p*ssed! Fix me dinner!” In the Darth Vader voice
And then I ATTACK with my light saber
Doing some Mace Windu shat
Samuel Jackson + Jedi = Doom:
An equation every math major should know!
All arrogance aside
Praise me as your only g*d
And in return I’ll give you a hug
But not a big one
Just a little one
Yeah, live with it
I love everyone
Except [/you]
And now GATHER ROUND CHILDREN!
COME ONE
COME ALL
For the big finale!
It’s got guns and
BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM(?) BLAM!
Yeah, that’s right
Get out
-The Judge
Welcome to the halls of my MIND!
Key the heavenly chorus!
Walk a bit over and look out the polished window
It’s funny if you have a sick sense of humor
Like me! (love me!)
See that hammer over there?
That’s what happens to kids who complain too much.
Where to begin a drastic tale of epic proportions?
It’s not too easy to decide
When you take a little tablespoon of HELL every morning
At 7 am
Is roughly when I wake up
But who knows?
And what kind of man would use a handicap stall
When he’s not handicapped?!
A MAN WHO PREFERS HIS SPACE!
That’s who
Would know after that what it feels like
To be WALKED ALL OVER
By THOUSANDS and THOUSANDS of ants!
After all, it wasn’t my fault
I just assumed because she was ugly that she wasn’t married!
I was sure wrong on that one
(Maybe her husband likes ladies with skin conditions?)
It’s a mad world out there, for sure
But more importantly my nose is cold
FREEZING like in the 9TH CIRCLE OF HELL
For lack of a better analogy
SPIDER ON MY WALL
Prepares for Death unknowingly!
*Ten minutes later [seriously]*
DISPOSED OF!
Metallica: Best served in heavy doses
Until you reach St. Anger (then just stop)
The battle cry rings out above and beyond
In rejoice!
Who alone could utilize?
The utilization!
Think about it, thinker
And KNOW MY NAME!
Also know this:
The bigger they are
The harder they BURN!
(That also goes for oils, kids)
Why the censorship?
Why the pain?
Goodness me I need to wash my hands!
They’re filthy
All of them, lousy people
“I want to use my coupons”
Well DIE FOR IT
And while you’re dieing
Get me some Cadburry Eggs
Cause those are delicious
Though not necessarily nutritious
[Hard to deny the rhyme, isn‘t it?]
And when you get right down to faith,
The pure, unbridled question arises:
Why was that spider shaking its butt when it walked?
What if its web is still there and I run into it?
I can see myself just freaking!
SCREAMING like a little girl,
A woman, thereof
Which I’ve been thought to be
8 times now in the past month
Saddening, but I want a Darth Vader Mask
I bet they’re about $40 at Wal-Mart
So I can be in the kitchen and say
“I’m p*ssed! Fix me dinner!” In the Darth Vader voice
And then I ATTACK with my light saber
Doing some Mace Windu shat
Samuel Jackson + Jedi = Doom:
An equation every math major should know!
All arrogance aside
Praise me as your only g*d
And in return I’ll give you a hug
But not a big one
Just a little one
Yeah, live with it
I love everyone
Except [/you]
And now GATHER ROUND CHILDREN!
COME ONE
COME ALL
For the big finale!
It’s got guns and
BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM(?) BLAM!
Yeah, that’s right
Get out
-The Judge