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View Full Version : "Stroke" Poem by myself


Delilah
28th June 2006, 12:41 PM
I watched her as she lay there, sleeping,
I wondered if she saw the child there standing,
If she heard my sisters’ weeping.

Tubes protruded from the woman’s throat;
I watched the sad scene come to play.
Never thought our mother would not be the same
As she were on Saint Valentine’s day.

Her speech was slurred, her movements slow:
And yet I shed not a tear that year,
For it would be too much for her to know

That her children were lost without defense,
Living in a house of false pretense.

Twice, had I seen what such a sickness to a person could do.
My mother ordered DNR, but father contested,
Determined not to let that happen to her, too.

Things were strange when she came home: nothing was the same.
She was a babe, and I the parent-
And thus began our game.

She regained her speech, mobility and life,
But she is not the woman she was before.
Her heart is cold and filled with strife;
She’s not my mother anymore.

Opinions and comments, if you would be so kind.

Kamek
10th July 2006, 10:53 PM
Wow, I know you posted this up a while ago, but I hope you do get to read this comment. I could tell a lot of feeling was put into this poem. I really liked it. The structure seemed a bit loose, but it definitely had an affect on me. I could really envision this happening and feel what the speaker is feeling. Keep writing, this was a really nice poem.

Klarth
11th July 2006, 07:11 AM
That wasn't so bad. The fact that it wasn't done entirely in rhyming couplets or angsty "kill everyone" blank verse makes it stand out on vgc, and it was actually genuinely well written.

Nice.

Delilah
13th July 2006, 05:18 PM
Thanks, guys.

Kaise Suratu
7th November 2006, 06:40 PM
This is an open transgress poem, if I'm not mistaken. Nevertheless, it stands remarkably beautiful. I'm sure others will agree that the forums need more poets like you.

~Kudos!

temari
13th November 2006, 09:41 AM
sad,but deepens the emotion, I thought your poem was fantastic! keep
posting more, I love your poetry!

giminius
2nd July 2007, 08:55 PM
I was just browsing through, and I was pleasantly surprised to see such a quality of poetry on a video game forum.